Day 47: In Which The Adventures Of A Cat Dad Continue

Jack was sitting on the floor, working with his computer on the coffee table when Ashley came purring for attention. He put her on his lap, cooing nonsensical words as he ran a hand up and down her fur. Reaching the cat's neck, he quickly noticed that she had something in her mouth, and he turned Ashley's head for a proper inspection.

"Whatcha got there, you demonic cat?" Jack kept holding her until she opened her mouth, and he flinched as soon as something viscous touched his skin. "Ew, Ashley!"

He jumped, tossing what he assumed was a dismembered gecko as far as his nauseated self could manage, but by doing so, his knee hit the table, sending an immediate jolt of pain through his entire body.

"FUCK!"

He collapsed face down on the floor with both hands clutching his injured limb, and Ashley came to nuzzle the top of his head. "No! Bad cat! Get away from me!"

"What's going on over there, Jack?" he heard Elsa asking from the other side of the wall. "Sounds like you're struggling."

Jack laughed as he shouted back, "A little bit, yeah."

A second later, his phone was ringing.

"What are you doing?" Elsa's voice asked.

"My cat thinks she's a fucking lioness. And now there are bits of lizard all over the floor."

"Is that you being dramatic again?"

"It is so not," he argued. "I dare you to come clean this damn massacre so you can see by yourself that I am being dead-ass serious, Elsa."

"Are you asking me to maid for you?"

"I'll pay you a hundred dollars."

Elsa laughed. "Goodbye, Jack. Have fun with your cleaning."

"Two hundred and I'll even get you a beer!"