Chapter 35: Helen's Surgery

Meredith got out of her jeep and leaned forward against the door, taking in the hospital's façade. She was about to go in, put on her scrubs, and save her friend's life. Helen was admitted to Las Vegas Memorial Hospital the previous evening. Today, she was scheduled to undergo the life-changing- or life-ending surgery.

Derek walked around the car and stopped beside her, smiling at her encouragingly. "We're going to do this, and it will work."

"I don't want to let her down again," she sighed, her eyes firmly fixed at the hospital.

"Again?"

"I let her down. I fled from New York and left her all alone."

"You can't blame yourself for that, your life was in pieces," he argued softly.

"Your life being crappy is not an excuse to stop caring about your people," she said locking the car and walking with Derek towards the entrance. She couldn't help smiling though as she felt Derek's fingers intertwine with hers in a perfect fit.

"Does it mean you're never going to stop caring about me?" he quipped.

"You want to go under my scalpel next? You'd have to shave the hair."

"No one touches the hair!" he warned her with amused indignation.

"I touch the hair," she wiggled her eyebrows at him.

"Oh, no you don't. It's pulling, or rather trying to rip it off," he snorted.

"Well, I can't be responsible for my actions when I'm having a screaming orgasm," she shrugged off smugly as they slowed down their pace when inside. "I have to see the chief first, just go upstairs to Helen and scrub in. I'll join you as soon as I can."

"Okay," he nodded and planted a little warm kiss on her lips.


Derek scrutinized the inside of the OR with a frown. It was a very typical operating room, nothing unusual. But what screamed uncommon at the very first sight was the staff. It was like he was watching ballet dancing or synchronized swimming. There was no bustling, no unnecessary movement. The nurses were preparing the equipment swiftly and efficiently. Anyone who currently didn't have a task at hand, nurse or doctor, stood rigidly in a neat row, their backs strung out.

"Cat got your tongue, Dr. Shepherd?" Helen quipped from the table.

He walked up to her with a grin that was hidden by a mask. "Morning, Helen. How are you feeling?"

"That's really not the topic I'd like to pursue right now," she rolled her eyes. "So, has something surprised you?"

"I think-" he cleared his throat and bent down so that only Helen could hear him. "I think I've never seen a working OR this quiet. Is this some local thing?"

"It's a Meredith thing," she laughed. "You haven't seen her operate, have you?"

"Other than on a dog? No, I haven't. And I'm looking forward to it, it's an honor," he said humbly.

"Yes, it is. Prepare yourself to be dazed. And insulted," she added lightly.

"I'm sorry, what?" he chuckled thinking he might have misheard.

"Why do you think they're all standing like that? Because The Meredith Grey is going to grace this OR with her presence, her very demanding presence. She's the best and that's what she expects from the people she works with."

"It's great that you trust her so much."

"It is not just trust," she smiled. "She did all my surgeries, you know?"

"I do."

"The first time around she was still a resident."

"Really?" he asked curiously.

"Yeah, I asked her myself. We weren't friends back then, do you know what I thought when I talked to her for the first time?" she chuckled. "I thought, what a bitch!' And she was, But I knew her skills were superb and- she was like a robot. I knew she'd do that surgery like a perfect robot."

"Don't let that fool you," she added seeing his puzzled expression. "In the weeks preceding and following my surgery I got to know her better. There is much more to her than just surgery, there always was even if she claims something else. Surgery was never enough for her, that's why she went into research, chasing some goals, ideals that were supposed to fill the void in her life. It was a blessing for me really, that I had this chance to meet her, she's the most loyal person in my life. I don't have anyone, no family, except her."

"She seems to think she let you down," sighed Derek.

"Meredith," Helen rolled her eyes. "That's the way she is, a perfectionist. Promise me something, Derek."

"What?"

"Promise me you'll keep fighting. Don't give up on her, ever. You have something good here, something that makes you both happy."

"That sounds frighteningly like a goodbye-"

"Derek, promise me," she pleaded with him.

"Okay, I promise," he nodded solemnly. He was not going to silently abandon this relationship anyway.

"Right on time," smiled Helen and pointed with her head so that he looked behind.

Meredith had just walked into the scrub room and Derek almost gasped at the change about her. For starters she looked like a surgeon, which he realized was quite a dumb thing to think when she actually was a world renown surgeon. It didn't change the fact that he still found it hard sometimes to believe his Meredith was a surgeon.

But it was not only the scrubs that made her look different. In this exact moment she seemed to emanate confidence and superiority. She held her head high, her face was unreadable, if anything mildly disapproving.

"Does she-" Derek stuttered as Meredith leaned over the sink to clean her hands. "Does she have 'NeuroGod' written on her scrub cap?"

Helen let out a soft laugh. "That was my cheeky present for her when she was made attending at Sinai. I should have known better, Meredith Grey never backs out of a challenge, at least she hadn't-."

"Good morning," Meredith entered the OR with a crisp greeting, her eyes shrewd and perceptive.

"Good morning, Dr. Grey," the staff's reply was more even and rhythmical than one of children in a primary school. Everyone took their assigned positions, and a nurse swiftly came up to her to discuss the last details. Once they were done Meredith appeared at Helen's side.

"Tell me," she asked looking up at her, smiling at the flashy 'NeuroGod' staring at her from the top of Meredith's forehead.

"Your current hairdo is quite unbecoming," she quipped smugly, prompting a small outburst of laughter from Helen.

"Tell me."

"Your life is in the best hands possible," sighed Meredith, wincing imperceptibly under her mask. Apparently, this was Meredith's pre-surgery quirk.

"You too, Derek," Helen turned to look at him.

"It's a beautiful day to save lives," he smiled reassuringly.

"See you when you wake up, sleeping princess," Meredith grinned at her as Helen inhaled the gas.

"Are you ready?" he asked her softly when she moved to take place at the head of the table, Derek at her side.

He was instantly startled by the glare she sent in his direction.

"Am I ready, Dr. Shepherd?" she snorted. "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't ready. Scalpel," she barked at the nurse and made the first incision.

Normally, Derek would be deeply disgruntled. He hadn't seen the inside of an OR for over a month, he hadn't cut for over a month. And the first time he was back, he was not the one in control as he was used to. Frankly, he was a bit of a sidekick.

However, he didn't mind. Watching Meredith work was pleasure. She really had in her all that he heard about her, the talent, the experience, the intuition. The surgical tools did her bidding with such precision as though they were an extension of her flesh. Most importantly, he was assisting the woman he loved, and the woman he loved was operating on her best friend. Meredith might have been acting smug and self-assured, but he knew it was just a persona. He was in this OR because she needed him, maybe not that much as a surgeon. She needed him personally, and that was even better.

"Slick moves, Dr. Grey," he remarked innocently.

"I know," she answered, he knew that she would roll her eyes if she could tear them away from the open brain before her.

The procedure was going well, how could it not with a surgeon of Meredith's caliber at the reins, and Derek's apprehension about the outcome started to fade. Until Helen's heart rate dropped.

"What happened?" Meredith asked quickly when the unnerving beeping filled the OR, but her voice was as calm as if she was asking why the milk spilled on the floor.

"End title CO2 just dropped from thirty to 16!"

"Bagging manually."

"Air in the left ventricle!"

"O2 stats to 89."

"Aspirate central line," ordered Meredith.

"Bradycardiac."

"Push one of atropine."

"No air in the line," said Derek.

"Level her down, I'm gonna flood the field," nodded Meredith. "Asystole. Push one milligram of epi. Start compressions."

"She's not responding," said Derek as Helen flatlined. "We need to open her up, open cardiac massage. Someone page a cardiothoracic surgeon right now!"

"We have only one on call, he's in the next OR!"

"I'm gonna do this myself," muttered Meredith moving to Helen's side. "Cross clamp! Ten blade, give me a ten blade, please! Derek-"

She didn't have to finish, he was with her in a flash.

"Let's roll her, ready? One, two, three, go!"

The blade sank into Helen's side effortlessly guided by Meredith's steady hand. "Ok, rib spreader. Scissors!"

As soon as the opening was wide enough, Derek moved to massage the heart while Meredith started to aspirate.

"End title CO2's starting to go up."

"Heart's starting to beat, pressure's 60 over 40."

"It's low but it's there, she's gonna make it," Derek breathed out with relief.

"Of course, she is," nodded Meredith. "Let's close her up."

Fortunately, there were no more surprises, and they were able to leave the OR with the best of hopes. They scrubbed out in silence. Meredith didn't mind, she had no idea what to say anyway. Operating alongside Derek seemed almost surreal.

Furthermore, she suspected he wasn't all that pleased with her. She had gone right into the bitch mode when she put on her scrubs. She would have felt at ease in the OR if she hadn't, but she wasn't proud to show this particular side of her character to Derek. However, he surprised her, just like many times already since the beginning of their relationship.

"Dr. Grey," he smiled at her, reaching out his still damp hand, "it was a pleasure to work with you today."

She frowned at him slightly, cocking her head curiously. "Really? I've never heard that before."

"Somehow I can believe it," he chuckled as they shook hands.

"Thank you- for- for everything," she said gratefully and climbed up on her toes to plant a quick sweet kiss onto his lips. She put on her old skin for the surgery, but she could now shed it with relief.

"You're welcome."

"I need to report back to the chief again. We'll meet in Helen's room, okay?"

"Okay, run along," he nodded and patted her playfully on her butt.

"You're playing with fire, Dr. Shepherd," she warned him pointing at the audacious writing on her cap.


Where the hell did Derek carry himself with his perfect hair and his even more perfect ass? Meredith thought impatiently standing in the doorway to Helen's recovery room. Yes, Helen was slowly recovering. They managed to bring her back and right now she was nothing but stable. She would be unconscious for a few hours still so it would be a perfect time to vent the surgery high- Except Derek seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth.

Her cell vibrated in the pocket of her scrub pants, but it was not Derek calling her.

"Lexie?" she answered the call with surprise.

"Mer! Is Helen with you? Because if she's not with you, she might be lying dead somewhere between New York and Las Vegas-"

"She's- well, yes, she is with me," Meredith sighed eyeing her immobile friend. "Sorta."

"Oh, my God! Are you in the morgue?"

"What? No! What the hell are you talking about?" Lexie was clearly freaking out big time.

"Helen! I'm talking about Helen! Can you believe this? I've just had two days off, I'm back and I'm told that Helen freaking Crawford is on leave! She did that on purpose! Behind my back- Can you pass the phone to her so I can yell at her instead of you?"

"The thing is that I can't. She hasn't woken up yet," Meredith dropped the bomb, which was followed by an eerie silence on Lexie's part.

"You don't mean- waking up after a crazy tequila drinking night, do you? You mean"

"I mean after surgery, yes."

"Damn, I was suspecting something was wrong! But hell, she didn't say anything! You know I'd have come with her!"

"I know, she came alone because that was supposed to be her last surgery," confessed Meredith. "The tumor's got more aggressive, she wanted to give up."

"No!" Lexie sounded scared, panicked, and indignant at the same time. "Has she gone mad or what? No way I let her die! I swear when the two years are up, I'm gonna kidnap her and-"

"That won't be necessary, Lex," laughed Meredith. "We made the saginal bypass. She doesn't need to go back, not as a patient."

"Oh my god! Are you serious?" judging by the sounds the younger sister was making, she started to cry. "Really?"

"Really, the tumor's gone."

"Oh, crap, I won't be able to take any time off! I was supposed to come with Helen in late November-"

"That's okay, Lexie, I'm going to take good care of her alone," Meredith assured her quickly. God, she didn't need another nosy person around, dissecting the intricacies of her brand-new relationship. Lexie didn't know anything about Derek, and it was for the best. Speaking of Derek, he just appeared in her line of vision at the end of the corridor carrying a small paper bag. His hair was slightly ruffled, which indicated he had been outside. "Lex, I'll call you later, I have a meeting with the chief."

"There you are! Where have you been?" she rounded on Derek when he caught up with her.

"Uhm, Starbucks around the corner," he explained with a frown. "Have there been any complications?"

"No."

"Good. I brought you coffee," he handed her a cup and pulled another one for himself out of the paper bag with the café's logo.

"Whatever," she shrugged, dropping the coffee into the trashcan and proceeding to do the same with his.

"Hey! What the hell-" he began to ask but was caught off guard when she grabbed his arm and dragged him behind her. "Can you explain to me why the rush?"

"Certainly," she hissed pushing him into the nearest on-call room. "You see, I'm on surgery high," she breathed out, shoving him against the door and attacking his lips ferociously, her hands tugging at his clothing feverishly.

"Surgery- high-" he panted heavily as he felt her teeth sink into his neck and her fingers fight with the cord holding up his scrub pants. Instant hard-on. He grabbed her butt and pulled her closer grinding his groin against her, but she stumbled them further into the room. The next thing he knew he was squeezed into a lower bunk bed, his pants and briefs entangled around his ankles.

"Oh, god!" he groaned as he watched her tear her own pants down. She didn't even bother to take her top off, she wanted pure raw sex from him. He was only happy to oblige. She climbed on top of him, one of her hands on the upper bed so as not to bump her head and welcomed his length inside her with a wild moan. His head thrashed back at the slick pleasurable tightness that enveloped him. The sounds he was making quickly overshadowed hers when she started to move over him with such energy and passion as though her life depended on it. He tried to push his middle up to meet her as he tightly gripped her hips, impaling her faster and faster.

This day couldn't go any better, he realized with his last working neurons. They scrubbed in together on an advanced procedure, they saved a life, and now, they were spending the adrenaline rush in the most heavenly way possible. Her tight walls clamped down on him like a vice and he thought no more as he spilled deep inside her with a roar. They probably caused quite a sensation, but why would they even care? Physically and emotionally spent, Meredith flopped down on his hard chest, making it even harder for him to control his rugged breathing. Again, he didn't care.

"Derek- promise me you'll check up on her- on Helen-" Meredith breathed against him a few minutes later.

"Wha-?" he gasped out.

"When you're back home," she clarified. "My sister will keep tabs on her, but she needs a fully qualified neurosurgeon. And you're good."

Derek's spirits plummeted as fast as they rose at the beginning of their rendezvous. She was asking him to look after Helen when he was back in New York-

"Promise me, Der," she insisted.

"I- okay," he agreed with a heavy heart, rubbing his sweaty forehead.

He made two promises, two promises that seemed mutually exclusive. How was he going to keep them both exactly?