Chapter 37: Lexie to the Rescue
Another shriek filled Derek's ears as the pummeling over his head resumed, "Take that, pervert! You think you can slip into beds of innocent women and abuse them! Mer! Mer, there's a naked pervert in the room!"
"Lexie! Lexie, stop!" Meredith grabbed the hardcover book her sister was hitting Derek with and jumped to the floor to cradle his crumpled form.
"Oh, God…" he panted against her.
"Mer, what are you doing? You're helping a sex offender? He's naked, Mer!" Lexie screamed looking around for another weapon.
"He's… not a sex offender, Lex," Meredith sighed, gently caressing Derek's curls and propping the weight of his body that threatened to fall.
"You… you know him?" Lexie gasped.
"Yes, she knows me!" Derek managed to yell, his voice strained from pain and anger. "Who the hell are you? Aren't you a pervert yourself? Sneaking into another woman's bed!"
"I'm her sister!"
"And I'm her boyfriend!"
Meredith only sighed at the verbal battle raging above her.
"Meredith!" Lexie gasped taking her head in her hands. "You have a boyfriend!?"
"Lexie, can we discuss this miracle later?" Meredith asked with a hint of impatience. "He's in pain. I've got to see… how much damage you inflicted on something of his that I really like."
"Sorry," Lexie scrunched her face in worry, twisting her hands nervously. "I can help…?" she offered. "I'm a doctor."
"We are all doctors! I don't want her nowhere near my balls!" Derek hissed; his dignity was in shreds.
"Lexie, please?" Meredith begged her sister to leave them alone. "Can you take the guest room? The last door on the right."
"Okay… I'll… I'll just go," she stammered and backed out of the room with her face flushed and her eyes looking pointedly at the ceiling.
"Can you stand up?" Meredith asked cautiously helping him get to his feet and gently laying him on the bed.
"Life just couldn't get any better. Castration at the hands… at the knee of your sister. Can I just say the family similarities are striking!?" he ranted indignantly. He needed to focus his attention on something else than his groin or he would explode from pain. Meredith bit on her lip to prevent the laughter that was rising in her throat. She so should have told Lexie about Derek. Instead, karma struck not her, but him.
"Oh, please, don't hold back on my behalf!" Derek snorted bitterly. "It's so funny I can barely stop laughing!"
"I'm sorry, Der," she whispered apologetically, showering his face, wherever she could reach, with soft kisses. "It's all my fault. I thought you'd be gone for the night and… I didn't tell Lexie about you… I just, there wasn't a right moment…" she tried to explain herself.
"I dare to think any moment would be better than this!" he gasped in pain.
"Let me help," she pleaded with him trying to pry his fingers off his penis. He was clutching at it so hard as though he was afraid someone might come and steal it from him. "Really, if you keep squeezing little Derek like that, you'll cut the blood flow and it will fall off for sure."
Meredith meant it more as a joke than anything, but in his current miserable state Derek seemed to see the real danger to his manhood and he reluctantly released it from his grip.
"He's not little," he grumbled, covering his eyes with his arms. He was still seeing stars and, mind you, they were not good stars.
"Of course, he's not little," Meredith agrees complacently. "He's very very big and I'm his number one fan, so just try to relax, okay?"
"Relax, just relax… yeah, right," he mocked her.
"There seems to be no penile fracture," she assessed with a down-to-earth voice.
"And that's supposed to cheer me up," he spat out.
"Frankly, yes," she said trying to make him more comfortable on the bed. "I'm gonna get some ice, okay?"
"Can't wait for that," he muttered sarcastically.
"I'm so sorry, baby," she sighed, rubbing his arm apologetically. "I'll take good care of you."
"Can you sedate me?" he snorted. "Or better, kill me?"
"I'll… I'll get the ice and some painkillers," she cleared her throat and planting a quick kiss onto his forehead she hurried downstairs.
Meredith trotted to the dark kitchen overstepping by inches Bert's sleeping form. She opened the fridge, and it was only in its feeble light that she saw her sister sitting rigidly in one of the chairs against the wall.
"Lexie?" she gasped. "What are you doing?"
"Waiting for the ground to open and swallow me whole! Looking for some alcohol to get drunk and forget everything, or for a knife to practice DIY lobotomy on myself!"
"Oh." Lexie was in the full freak out mode, not good. She had already one whining person to attend to. "Lex, it's… uhm, not a big deal-"
"Not a big deal?" she shrieked out. "It is a big deal! I kicked an innocent man in the crotch… How is he?"
"He'll live."
"And his future children?"
"As well," Meredith giggled.
"God… just… Mer, why didn't you tell me? We talked for hours, and you didn't even mention in passing that you're dating!"
"I'm… I'm not dating," Meredith shook her head. "He just… he just came, and we hit it off but he's going back to New York soon, end of story."
"He just came? You just hit it off? Are you listening to yourself?" gasped Lexie. "You're in a relationship, which you claimed you'd never try again! This is amazing!"
"It is amazing, for both me and him, but… I'm just tired of explaining our situation to everyone. Yes, we're good together, but it's not a long-term relationship, for which I will never be ready. Derek goes back to New York; did you hear me?"
"Derek?" Lexie asked curiously. "Who is he anyway? Apart from being a total man candy. He's hot by the way, from what I could see."
"Derek Shepherd, he inherited William's house and half of the practice-"
"Derek Shepherd? That sounds awfully like Derek Shepherd, the neurosurgeon…"
"Because it is that Derek Shepherd," chuckled Meredith.
"No!" Lexie leapt from her chair. "No way!"
"Yes way. It is quite a coincidence-"
"No!" Lexie was swept by another wave of panic. "I didn't attack and overpowered an innocent man! I attacked the Derek Shepherd, head of neurosurgery at New York Presbyterian, one of the most talented surgeons in the country, in the world-"
"Lexie," Meredith sighed interrupting her sister's verbal diarrhea. "Tequilas in that cupboard on your left."
She grabbed the icepack and retreated to the bedroom to bring Derek some relief.
When Derek opened his eyes the next morning he was not in a good mood. Strictly speaking, he was pissed. The last night's humiliatingly painful events returned to him in a full blast. Meredith was not with him in bed. Instead, he was accompanied by a dull ache in the region that no sane man wanted to experience. Oh, and he could feel a wet spot on the bed left by the icepack. Freaking perfect.
He waited and waited staring at the ceiling and tapping his fingers on the covers but it didn't look like Meredith would come up anytime soon. With an irritated huff and a pout on his lips he dragged himself off the bed carefully. He put on a tee and the loosest pair of boxers he could find. He'd rather stay naked simply because it was less painful sans clothing but there was Meredith's sister somewhere in the house.
He trudged downstairs with a pained sigh. He frowned as several amused voices reached his ears from the kitchen. He halted in the doorway, his jaw tightening. He'd just interrupted a witches' sabbath. Meredith, Cristina, Miranda, and the blonde perpetrator of his injury were sitting around the table sipping coffee and finishing the cake he had made the previous day. They all stopped talking at the sight of him. One wouldn't have to be a genius to guess the subject of their conversation as four pairs of eyes stopped at the level of his crotch. He hadn't felt that urge to strangle somebody since Meredith left him in the middle of the desert.
"It is customary in civilized societies to greet others with a 'Good morning'," Cristina chastised him with a snicker.
"I'll say good morning when it is good morning," he barked back.
"Derek," Meredith interrupted jumping from her chair and placing a sloppy placatory kiss onto his lips. "I thought you'd sleep in. It's Sunday."
"I'm going back to bed once I get fix myself something to eat," he grumbled moving away from her. He was entitled to be pissy.
"I'll bring you breakfast up to bed," Meredith offered enthusiastically.
"You couldn't cook anything edible if your life depended on it," he bit back.
"Aren't we just a tad grouchy today…" smirked Cristina. "I'd say pain in the ass-"
"Cristina!" Meredith hushed her seeing as she and Miranda were going to burst out in laughter any minute. "How about muesli? You like muesli, would you like me to bring it upstairs for you?"
"Fine," he hissed and turned back to walk out of the kitchen.
"Oh, you haven't met Lexie-"
"Hasn't he?" chortled Cristina.
"I mean, you haven't been properly introduced," Meredith quickly corrected the slip of her tongue.
"Mer," Derek started to protest but gave up giving Lexie a quick look. For some reason she was pressing an icepack to her temple looking worse than he felt.
"Derek, this is my sister Lexie. As you know she's a surgical resident at Sinai. Lex, this is Derek, my-"
"Dr. Shepherd, it's a real honor!" Lexie got to her feet as fast as she could, not without a wince. "I read your article in the latest "Journal of Neuroscience" and it was just brilliant! I-"
"Lexie, can we talk about it later?" Meredith glanced at her pleadingly and steered Derek out. "Der," she asked him when they were out of earshot, "do you… need another icepack?"
"You want me to get a frostbite now?" he snorted.
"I'm… sorry. I love you," she bit on her lip, and he couldn't not melt.
"I love you too," he rolled his eyes and hobbled upstairs.
After the short breakfast Derek, decided to remain in bed. He hated that but he wanted this pain to go away, or he wouldn't be able to have sex with Meredith soon, which was a catastrophe. He closed his eyes and breathed in the silence. It was so quiet, even though the town was wide awake for quite some time. It was the serene silence of a day off-work, something he could never experience back in New York. New York never slept or slowed down its pace.
Before the sleep claimed him, he was startled by a soft timid knocking on the door.
"Come in," he sighed. He knew who it must have been, Meredith never knocked.
"Hey," Lexie walked in shyly, a nervous smile plastered on her face. "I'm sorry, I don't want to disturb your rest… It's just… I wanted to tell you I won't stay long. Just tonight and I'm gone."
"Look, I… it wasn't an exceptionally nice beginning to our acquaintance but you're Meredith's sister. I have nothing against you, I'm not mad at you… any longer, you're welcome here."
"Thank you," Lexie smiled feebly. "And I'm really terribly sorry, it was just one big misunderstanding. But I'm not running away dying from awkwardness that I kneed my sister's boyfriend in the balls."
Derek looked at her curiously.
"I'm leaving so soon because I think you're doing a better job with Meredith alone, I'm interfering."
"I'm not sure I'm following…?"
"You know her," sighed Lexie rolling her eyes. "I mean, you do know her, right? You feel something for her?"
"I love her," he admitted calmly. "Yes, I know her quite well now."
"She's guarded-"
"I know, and I know why."
"Oh… do you want to be with her? I mean really be with her?" Lexie asked concerned.
"I do."
"She's not going to leave Rachel, you know. Maybe I shouldn't ask… I certainly don't have the right to tell you what to do, but are you really leaving?"
"Meredith doesn't want me to stay," he answered evasively.
"She didn't want to ever look at a man again and look where you are…" shrugged Lexie. "I… just… whatever you do, don't hurt her, please."
"I'm not going to," he promised.
"Good, or what happened last night would be a prick of a needle compared to what I and my other sister will do to you," she threatened, attempting a menacing expression.
"Duly noted," he smiled as she moved to walk out. "Lexie, you work with one of my very annoying sisters, don't you? Amelia."
"Yeah, yeah I do, small world," she laughed. "And she can be quite annoying."
"I'm really starting to like you," he chuckled approvingly. "I have a favor to ask you too. Can you not mention to her that you met me here…? I haven't told… I mean, it was a life changing few weeks for me too."
"Okay, you can count on me," she nodded and slipped outside, her spirits both hopeful and nervous for her big sister. Derek Shepherd appeared to be a nice guy. He was perfect for Meredith. How would it all end for them? He was due back in New York soon. Would he be willing to leave his entire previous life behind for her? His career, his family? She so hoped he would…
