History of Magic
Day 1
9:50 am

- International Confederation of Wizards

- First Supreme Mugwump of International Confederation Pierre Bonnaccord.

- Trolls

- Breach between Bonaccord and Liechtenstein

- Appointment contested by the wizarding community of Liechtenstein

- Problem with trolls; Vicious Mountain

- Bonaccord against troll hunting

- Troll rights

- Confederation first meeting in France

Why do you even bother writing all this down, Moony? I, even with all my superior intellect, can't understand a word.

Because, Sirius, I refer to my notes before tests. They are not designed for your minuscule cranium's limited comprehension.

Now stop writing in my notebook.

But I'm bored, Moony.

Go and hex someone, then. And stop calling me that.

If you haven't noticed, we're in class. Hexing someone would result in detention. And its like James said – the nicknames promote a feel of comradeliness between us Marauders.

Its still stupid. And what happened to your 'I can get more detentions in a month than you can' bet with James?

Good Point.

Why always Snape? One day, when he joins the ranks of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, he will destroy you. Nice Leg-Locker curse, by the way.

He can't be a successful Death Eater if he is emotionally scarred by my abusive behavior towards him. When I'm done he'll be gibbering in St Mungo's. Besides, I live in the Black household. If I can survive cousin Bellabitch, I can survive grudges from greasy haired gits like Snivellus.

You have serious problems.

Double detention with Slughorn. In your face, Prongs.

--

Potions
Day 1
10:45 am

Strengthening Solution

- Salamander Blood

- Pomegranate Juice

- Root of Fooglepoof

She is so beautiful.

As fascinating as listening to you mope about Lily Evans is, shut up.

Look at her hair.

Her hair is very nice, James. Now please stop drooling on my notebook.

I am not drooling!

Yes, you are. Look. Just ask her out, and put us all out of our misery. Then she can reject you and we can all get on with our lives.

A little ray of sunshine, you are.

Why thank you James. Honestly, though. Why don't you just vent a bit of your Lily-lust off on some other girl? That Ravenclaw bint with the Hair's been eying you for a while now.

Now please stop defacing my book and piss off.

Oi! Evans is coming this way! Hide the notebook!

--

What did Lily want? Did she want to talk about me? What did she say about me?

She just wanted to give me my bag back.

I thought you went and got your bag before?

I couldn't find it. It must have been in the common room or something. Now PISS OFF!

--

Charms
Day 1
11:56 am

Silencing Charm – Silencio

- Sharp jabbing movement with wand

Hey - doesn't that chick with the dreads live across the road from you, Prongs?

Thats Nina Agglebury. Lily's friend.

For Merlin's sake, would you two please stop writing in my book? I am rapidly running out of room for my notes. My notes. What this book is meant to be used for.

She's a bit saucy, isn't she?

Sirius, you are a sexist, repulsive, promiscuous flirt. Now go woo the fair maiden and leave my notes alone, please!

Do you reckon while you are over there you could casually mention to Lily how devastatingly attractive I am?

It is very hard to casually mention how devastatingly attractive your best friend is when hitting on girls, especially when the best friend in question is male. I really don't want people questioning my sexuality. Especially girls who are that bloody gorgeous.

I'm sick of this. I'm moving desks so you guys can have a conversation using words. Goodbye.

--

I've mastered the charm in fifteen minutes, and still have have about fourty before the end of class.

James is right. Lily is pretty.

Did not just write that.

I am an intellectual. I enjoy exercises of the mind. I am not interested in such trivialities such as the attractiveness of females, no matter how alluring they may be.
Or I at least don't spend my every waking hour thinking about them.
Especially the particular girl who one of my best friends has liked since third year.
Besides, Lily Evans is James' girl. Whether, as Sirius has previously put it, she likes it or not.

I don't like her. No way. James does. The person to whom I would never ever ever repeat to what happened this morning when I went to get my bag during Potions.

Ever.

I, unlike Sirius, am not a slave to my hormones. Its my inner wolfish lust getting to me.

I probably don't even have hormones.
I mean, I've never even had a girlfriend.
It's probably the werewolf thing.

What kind of social reject am I? I have never had a girlfriend. I've never kissed a girl. Flirted with one, even.

But thats just because I'm not all that interested in girls. I am far more concerned with my studies. And on occasion the pranks I am dragged along to participate in with Sirius and James.

Which I never enjoy.
All that much.
Sometimes.
Very often.
But still.

Bell rung.

Am ripping out this page. Immediately. And then burning it. And then eating the ashes. And then destroying the feces.

Perhaps that is a little excessive. Burning the page is sufficient.

--

Defense Against the Dark Arts
Day 1
1:27 pm

Disarming Charm – Expelliarmus

Swooping movement with arm

Followed by jab

Successfully flirted with Nina. She was guarded but obviously swooning inwardly at my charm.

I apologise. You seem to be labouring under the impression that I care. Let me try again:
I don't care.

She was looking at you with utter, utter contempt, Padfoot. For all your charisma, you sure as hell can't tell when a girl is not interested.

Can you say... hypocrite?

Piss off. Both of you! I mean it!

Okay, Okay! Don't have an epileptic, Moony.

Sure, whatever. Sirius, lets move to my blank parchment. Erm... unrelated topic.

I think they have gone. Thank Merlin.

Moony, did you know that you never use anything more offensive than 'pissed'? I mean, how do you vent your anger?

I don't have any anger. And at least I don't swear too much.

What gives you the right to say I fucking swear too fucking much?

He does have a point, Padfoot.

What happened to your 'unrelated' topic on James' piece of blank parchment?

It just isn't the same outside your notebook, Moony.

I'm touched, really. Now go and mutilate some innocent bystander and leave me in peace. Perhaps you could even practice the disarming charm, like you are meant to be doing?

I can disarm standing on my head with Snivellus doing a naked cancan on my bed linen.

I can see how that would be distracting.

Bad thoughts, bad thoughts!

Its okay Padfoot. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

Do you know who bombed the hall this morning?

Not a clue. Brilliant, though. Ogden McBooms exploding broccoli, I think. It was in the window of Zonko's. Cost a fortune though.

GO AWAY!

Excessive usage of punctuation shows signs of an instable mind – Quote Remus Lupin, after reading my History of Magic Essay, previous Christmas Holidays.

Go and drool over Evans. And leave me and my notes alone. And that means you too Sirius. Or Nina will know about the incident with Imogen Cooper behind the tapestry of Henry the Horny yesterday evening.

We were exchanging Care of Magical Creatures notes!

Of course, Sirius. Despite the fact term had barely started and neither of you take that class. Now piss off.

--

I'm pretty sure they're gone.

Sirius is right. I refrain from using curse words in even the most drastic situations. I would hate to think what a disaster would cause me to use one.
I am decidedly mild-mannered.
And have never had a girlfriend.

The closest I've had to remotely romantic interactions with a female was this mornings mis-adventure.

And that was an accident.

This notebook is a tome of depression and despair.
I'm burning the entire book. That will also take care of yesterdays entry that I have not yet destroyed.
And any embarrassing future entries.