Chapter 50: It Worked

Derek bent over the sink and felt the soothing coolness of water on his forehead and temples. It was almost twelve hours since he rolled his ninth trial patient out of the OR. Ninth patient… The previous eight had passed away. Derek expected that number nine would soon join their ranks. He would soon become his ninth… victim.

He tried to get a grip on himself but sometimes his skull felt very close to exploding. He couldn't help the hope slipping away from him. Would he ever be able to do this right, or would he continue to kill people for sport until his trial was shut down?

The secret he had decided to keep from Meredith weeks ago was starting to weigh too heavily on his shoulders. He needed something, anything, to happen to keep him going.

"Dr. Shepherd!" Derek's resident on the case stormed into the bathroom. "You need to see this!"


"This is what I love about living here," Meredith contentedly stretched in her chair. "Sixty-eight degrees in late November…"

"There's that," Cristina, who was sitting opposite her at a little table outside the inn, nodded expressionlessly. "As well as the crazy wind that can turn your skin into that of a wrinkled prune."

Meredith snorted as she scooped her tangled blonde locks that were billowing in the wind. "Since when do you care about such trivialities?"

"Since… I don't care!" Cristina sighed with irritation.

"That sounded convincing. What's wrong?" Meredith asked nudging her leg under the table.

"Okay, let's take you and McDreamy," Cristina began.

"What about me and McDreamy?" Meredith couldn't help chuckling.

"How could you stand his sorry ass around you?"

"I'm sorry- What?"

"You practically lived together for two months, didn't you?"

"Yeah, we did," nodded Meredith, not really sure where her friend was going with this. Certainly, she or Derek were not a point of concern here, Cristina was way too agitated.

"How did you manage to tolerate him for so long? I can't… I can't even look at Owen anymore!" she groaned, bringing her forehead against the table.

"Oh, I get it," Meredith grinned at her knowingly. "Your respective routines start to get in the way, right?"

"It's the little things!" Cristina gritted her teeth. "Like when he puts the alarm on his side of the bed so I can't turn it off on instant… or when he always folds my ratty sweater into the dresser, and I have to look for it every evening!"

"Didn't you go through the same with Burke?" Meredith delicately asked.

"We never shacked up together. But seriously, how did you manage to live with Shepherd for two months and not kill him in the process?"

Meredith burst in soft giggles. "I went through all of this which you're talking about with Mitch. I was always a lone person so let's just say it took a long time for me to get used to his presence in the apartment…"

"Mer-" Cristina eyed her worriedly. It had not been her intention for the subject of their conversation to escalate to Mitch.

"It's okay, Cris, it's nothing that I can't handle talking about," shrugged Meredith. "Coming back to Derek, I... I think I always had it in mind that he'd leave. I wasn't looking for permanent, so I just rolled with it. We had fun, we had amazing sex. I could overlook his obsessive neatness and his eating habits."

"Sounds like he's even worse than Owen…"

"Leaving the question of permanence aside, if you really care about the other person, you need to look at the bigger picture."

"The bigger picture?"

"I mean, if you love the guy, it seems too trivial to be constantly annoyed with the little quirks."

"But what if I want to strangle him for those little quirks?"

"Then fight with him," Meredith winked at her. "Clears the atmosphere and gives you really good make-up sex."

"True, true…" Cristina nodded pensively. Then her head jerked up as she looked at Meredith more calmly. "It was bitchy of me, wasn't it? Complaining about Owen's annoyingness when you're moping after Shepherd…"

"I'm not moping after him," Meredith rolled her eyes. "I just wish I could be… more helpful to him, you know? I feel… I know that I should be with him right now…"

"You mean the trial thing?"

"Yeah," Meredith sighed reluctantly.

"How is that going?"

"It's… going like a trial," shrugged Meredith. "He's losing patients, it's hard on him. But I'm glad he's not afraid to talk about it with me."

"So, you are there for him after all," Cristina remarked.

"As much as I can. Still, it makes a difference if you can talk to someone face to face, hold their hand… yeah…" Meredith lowered her eyes, her face heating up slightly. "You know, I've been checking ticket prices to New York…"

"You're considering going to New York?" gaped Cristina.

"I don't know… No, I don't!" Meredith shook her head vehemently. "I'm not ready… and I can't leave everyone here… I'm just being silly and sentimental."

"Sentimental?"

"Christmas is coming…" Meredith explained quietly. "You want to be with the people you love during Christmas…"

"You realize you're coming here for the holidays, right?" Cristina eyed her sharply.

"You sure? It's your first Christmas with Owen, and I don't want to-"

"You are being silly. Remember that I'm Jewish? And that the inn's going to be full anyway? And I think Owen's mother wants to come. So, I need you too."

"Then I'll be there. I wish my parents could be here this year as well… I'm gonna miss them."

"Me too, Susan's infallible in the kitchen."

"Cristina!" Meredith burst out laughing. "They might come in January, they're helping Molly and Eric settle in their new house. He's just got back from overseas."

"Have you told them…?"

"About Derek? Nope… Oh, sorry," she said as her cell phone vibrated in her pocket. "Speaking of the devil…"

"Wait till I'm gone," Cristina snickered getting to her feet faster than a lightning. "Don't want to witness that."

"Witness what?"

"Helen told me you don't mind an audience!" she laughed walking away.

"Ugh," Meredith rolled her eyes and answered the call. "Hey, Der. How are you?"

"Meredith…" he breathed out deeply and she instantly knew something was out of ordinary. There was so much emotion in his voice that he could barely speak. Her heart plummeted, he must have lost another patient…

"Derek, what's wrong, sweetie?" she asked soothingly.

"Nothing… Nothing's wrong," he stammered. "Mer, we did it!"

"Did what?" she frowned slightly.

"The trial… it worked, it finally worked!" Derek's voice transformed into laughter.

"What? Did you just say…?" she gasped gripping the edge of her seat tightly.

"Yes, it worked, your idea worked! The tumor is shrinking, no need for partial resection, the patient has woken up, and the motor functions are improving by the minute!"

"Congratulations, Derek!" she laughed right with him. She felt better than she had in weeks. "You've made it!"

"No, we've made it, this was all your idea!"

"It would have stayed just an idea if you hadn't made it happen," Meredith argued. "This is your work; this is your moment."

"I'm not going to fight with you over this now," he rolled his eyes at her stubbornness, still beaming widely. He knew what he should do, and Meredith simply couldn't stop him. "It's just… it worked… Thank you, for everything. I couldn't have done this without you."

"Don't sell yourself short. Anyway, I want the details, spill…"


Derek stood outside his patient's room for a long time, trying to once and for all convince himself that the method really had worked, that he had saved a life in a completely unconventional way. He had all the proof – scans, lab results, the simple fact that his patient woke up after the surgery. He had already told Meredith. And yet… it felt wonderful to just stand there and watch the relief on the faces of his patient and his family. Of course, time would tell if his therapy had any impact on the tumor recurrence rate, but he could still savor the moment.

"I've heard that congratulations are in order."

Derek turned with a sigh to face the owner for the voice. Amelia was standing a few feet away, nervously tweaking her coat in her hands. Gone was her confident boisterous façade. For once, Amelia Shepherd was subdued and apologetic.

"What are you doing here?" There wasn't even anger in him anymore. The trial worked, opening his way back to Meredith.

"I… came to apologize," she looked at him pleadingly. "I've been plucking up the courage for a long time."

"Really?" he asked quietly as he gestured for her to walk with him to his office. The hospital corridor was not a place to have this sort of private conversation. "What actually made you come?"

"Mom," she said simply.

"Right," he snorted. "Of course."

"Well, she didn't really tell me to apologize. It was something she said."

"What did she say?" Derek asked suspiciously.

"She just said that I should do what I feel is right while you're still here…"

Derek shook his head knowingly; of course his mother wouldn't leave it like that.

"I figured you were either dying or leaving. Since Mom isn't close to losing it, I knew it was the latter."

She waited for Derek to say something, but he remained silent. "Where are you going, brother?" she asked hooking her arm around his.

"I… Somewhere I'm going to live my life to the fullest," he replied enigmatically.

"In Rachel? With… her?" She suddenly stopped him and looked him straight in the eye. "Derek, I'm so sorry it ended up like this… I never wanted to hurt you; I was just..."

"You," he chuckled.

"I guess. Do you think you can forgive me?"

"I already have. But please, don't do anything like this behind my back again. Meredith, she's special and… she values-"

"Her privacy, I know. Helen has already given me the lecture. I won't make the same mistake again. I missed you the last couple of weeks."

"I might have missed you too," he teased.

"I'm gonna miss you when you leave…" she sighed. "When is that going to be?"

"Not sure yet. I need to wrap up the trial first, I don't want to leave anything unfinished. But I hope I'll be able to go shortly after New Year. Why? You want to know how much time you have to prepare yourself emotionally for the parting?" he joked.

"Nope, just need to know when to take the leave," she said innocently. "I'd like to see… the place where you're gonna live."

"Is that so? You sure it's my new home you want to see and not the girlfriend? Or actually, the ingenious Dr. Grey?"

"Both, I guess," she shrugged a little. "It's gonna be weird without you in New York. We were always together, Nancypants, Kath, Lanie, you and I, and later Mark… But, if this is what you need, I'm there for you," she assured him, hugging him close.

A bittersweet feeling overwhelmed him when he reciprocated the embrace. He would miss his crazy family, he already missed them in a way. But Rachel was his place on Earth, his home.