Still First Day, Hogwarts, sitting at the back of Charms, 11:50 am.
Sorry about that. Professor Flitwick came along to inspect my work so I had to pretend that I was making notes.
Where was I?
We were on our way to the Hospital Wing (Sarah still puking fiercely all over herself), when we were cornered, yet again, by Anna Zeller.
She scuttled up to us, took in Sarah's disheveled state and the non-caffeinated scowl on Nina's face, and, unfortunately, began to talk.
"So are you sure that you didn't go out with Sirius? Because Brittany Turpin says you did. 'Cos she saw you and him making out at Diagon Alley. She told me in complete confidence. Because we are just the best of friends. And we would never lie to each other, or, you know, tell each others secrets. Oh my god, did you know that she has got a thing for MacDougal? He's a Slytherin! Ew!"
Breath.
"Anyways, I asked Sirius too and he said 'No' and then he went off with Imogen Cooper even though she is such a cheap slut and she has no figure and her hair is dyed blond, I swear. He's cheating on you with her, did you know? So anyway did you both agree not to say anything about it? Was it just a fling or something?"
Another breath, and then she waited for my response.
"I'm quite sure, thanks." I tried to laugh it off, but Zeller just snorted, as in 'Sure sure, whatever you say,'
I turned helplessly to my left for Nina's support, but to my surprise Nina was already turning steadily red. At first I wondered if she was choking, but no. She was angry, and in danger of turning into a human beetroot.
She drew herself up to her full height and let loose.
"Where do you get off, Zeller? She is not going out with Sirius Black! She should only have to tell you once! Now go gossip somewhere else. Maybe off the edge of a cliff, or something."
I would have kissed Nina, but I would have had to stop laughing first.
Zeller's face went all funny for a second. It took me a minute or so to realise she was crying.
Tears started to pour down her face, smearing her make-up.
"You are such a slag, Agglebury." and she scuttled back to the hole in the dirt from whence she came.
May her cheap mascara dribble down her cheeks for all eternity.
When we got to the Hospital Wing, Madam Pomfery was otherwise occupied. There was a queue of about thirty students, presumably suffering from after-affects of the Great Hall disaster.
After waiting in line for ten minutes or so, we reached the woman herself, who looked understandably exasperated.
"What happened to this one?" she sighed. She surveyed the upspit over Nina, Sarah and my robes, and Sarah's current state.
"The bacon, was it? We've had an infestation of Doxies in the school kitchen that are proving difficult to get rid of. They've nested in the cellar and are proving quite hard to eliminate. I'll go and get the antidote."
Another sigh and she bustled off and returned with a vial of bright blue coloured liquid.
"Drink up." she forced the liquid down Sarah's throat, no doubt with difficulty, as she was still puking uncontrollably all over the place.
"Next."
By this time it was about ten thirty or so, and we were going to be late to Potions. However, we all refused to go to class covered in Sarah's regurgitated breakfast, and even scouring charms wouldn't rid us of the stench.
So, we headed to the showers. Nina and Sarah went off to the dorm bathrooms, but I decided to use the prefects bathroom, which I had never used before but had heard of. And liked the sound of.
A stupid, stupid mistake.
"Squeaky Clean" I whispered, and the door clicked open.
I entered, and did a fantastic goldfish imitation.
A crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling, illuminating the room with a soft glow. The sort of fluffy white towels that you always see in Witch Weekly but don't really exist sat in a corner, larger than life and twice as fuzzy.
A massive rectangular pool was inset into the center of the floor, framed by numerous golden taps which, when tested, spurted bubbles of all different scents, colours, shapes and densities, and a diving board was fixed at the head of the bath.
While I had just wanted a shower, the idea of soaking in that tub was too blissful an opportunity to pass up. After all, I'd had a difficult morning so far. It was only fair that I pamper myself a little.
I settled for a pink foam that smelt like roses, and some lilac bubbles the size of my fist for eccentricity's sake.
Bliss, bliss, bliss. I hadn't had a proper bath in ages – whenever I try Petunia bangs on the door and tells me to hurry up and get out. I sunk underneath the water and held my breath for as long as humanly possible. When I felt like I was about to suffocate, I resurfaced, and sat on the little marble steps that led down to the bottom.
I began to soap myself up, humming a little tune, and thinking that maybe my day would take a turn for the better.
Again, I was wrong.
So wrong.
The first sign of ensuing horror was the sound of footsteps approaching. However I brushed away the matter lightly. Who'd be using the prefects bathroom at this time of day? They were probably going to class.
The second sign was a hoarse voice whispering.
"Squeaky Clean" someone said at the door.
The door opened, not slowly like it would do if the opener of the door was expecting someone inside, but quickly, as though the person on the other side was unaware that it was occupied. Which, I guess, they were.
The intruder entered.
I screamed.
Loudly.
The aforementioned intruder blushed crimson, averted his eyes and said
"Oh Merlin. I'm really sorry Lily."
Only very quickly. And then the aforementioned intruder shut the door. Which, in my awe of the magnificent room, I had forgotten to lock.
I hyperventilated for about ten minutes. I was hardly overreacting. No-one had seen me naked. Not ever. Even my mother hadn't seen me naked since I was four.
What? I'm a little self conscious.
Then, after checking the coast was clear of intruders, hopped out of the bath and wrapped herself in one of the fluffy white towels.
Anyway. I had cause to wonder why Remus Lupin was choosing this time of day to take a bath. My circumstances were special.
For a few minutes I contemplated him as a bathroom perv, preying on innocent bathing prefects. But it didn't really fit.
Besides, I spotted his bag sitting on the floor.
I think someone up there really, really hates me.
Half an hour later, I entered the Potions classroom, to find a very flustered looking Remus scribbling away in his notebook.
I cleared my throat. He looked up and turned a brilliant shade of crimson.
"Your bag." I said, and dropped it at his feet. Then I went and sat next to Sarah, cheeks no doubt burning just as red as his.
Hogwarts, Charms, 12:00 pm
Sirius Black just came over. Wonder what he wants.
Hogwarts, Charms, 12:05 pm
Huh. Guess what he wants?
Nina.
I never really thought about it before, but Nina is actually quite attractive. Shes part Spanish, I think, and has a bit of a big nose which she hates with a passion, but she is also, thanks to her Hispanic heritage, very brown all year round, the lucky thing. Her eyes are sort of pointy looking, in a pretty sort of way, and she has curves – something I do not, and probably never will, posses. I'm flat as a pancake and not nearly as nice tasting.
Black strutted over under the pretense that he needed to borrow some parchment. Which was just stupid because he was sitting on the opposite side of the classroom, and the utter, utter bastard sitting next to him had a large pile of parchment beside him. Plus, neither the bastard nor Sirius were actually doing any work on the silencing Charm (a shame, if you ask me. They could do with a shutting up) that we were meant to be working on. They were just writing god-knows what in Remus' notebook.
Since when have I started calling him Remus?
However, after she handed him his requested parchment, he stood there and began to talk to her. The conversation went like this:
Sirius: So. You live across from James, right?
Nina: Unfortunately.
Sirius: (Laughs) How long have you lived there?
Nina: Since I was three.
Sirius: Really?
Nina: Yes. Really.
Sirius: Uh huh. You going to Hogsmeade next weekend?
Nina: Yes.
Me: She's going with me.
Sirius: Oh. Okay. Thats... nice. Well... see you round, Nina.
Only I don't think he thought it was nice, actually. Because he sounded disappointed.
What I don't get was that Nina seemed pissed off.
Nina is irritated a lot. She probably spends at least sixty percent of her time being pissed off at other people. But not at me. She likes me. I pay for her alcohol.
I saved her from from a fate worse than death (If death had a very nicely toned chest and a fantastic bone structure). And she was sneering at him like the dog he is, so she wasn't exactly inviting a date invitation.
But shes been crabby all afternoon.
I suppose this leaves only one conclusion - my good friend Nina has fallen for Sirius Black.
Her and half the female body of Hogwarts, not excluding teachers.
Sometimes I fear I am the only sane person in this institution.
