Chapter 51: Taking the Day Off

The moment of waking up was the most difficult point of day. Prying your eyes open, forcing yourself to move from the safety of the bed… it all seemed like an insurmountable feat. Meredith rolled over to her other side, further snuggling into her warm soft bedding, and her thoughts immediately flew to Derek. They usually did in the morning and before falling asleep. He must have already started his day as a surgeon…

Suddenly, her body shook with a jolt of awareness… Next, something brushed her cheek briefly, like a feather. She knew it wasn't her hair falling over her face or the cover as it was pooled around her waist. But her eyes pressed closed even tighter, her pulse quickening. She sensed somebody's presence above her, but it didn't alarm her. She didn't have to be afraid of the unexpected visitor. She recognized his warmth, his aura.

She trembled as his breath fanned the skin of her jaw and spilled onto her neck.

"Mer…" his throaty whisper enveloped her whole and she couldn't wait anymore to open her eyes.

"Derek…" she sighed as her still drowsy regard clashed with his, joyful and mischievous. "What are you doing here?"

She started to lift herself up on her elbows, but he stopped her.

"What do you think I'm doing here?" he chuckled, cradling her face in his hands. "I missed you, I had to see you."

"But your trial?" she asked feebly, his eyes and lips mesmerizing her.

"The trial is fine. I could spare a couple of days to come… home…" he smiled at her dreamily.

"But… it's Christmas Eve… and… you're not with your family?"

"You are my family," he breathed out, his mouth touching the corner of her lips.

"Oh… how long have you been on your feet?" she started to fuss around him. "Are you tired? Would you like to grab a shower?"

"Well, I think a shower may come in handy a bit later…" he quipped. "After those few hours in bed I'm planning to spend in bed with you."

"What few hours? I need to go to work, Der," she teased him but let him push her back on the bed.

"Come on, you're the boss, you can take a day off…" He leaned forward, his gaze becoming more and more lewd and cloudy by the minute.

Meredith waited for him to claim her lips in a kiss, but something was off. She looked around the room with a frown.

"What's wrong?" Derek asked against her neck.

Meredith barely listened though; something was successfully pulling her attention away.

Meredith woke up with an unpleasant jolt. The shrill ringing of the doorbell was coming from downstairs. She sat up abruptly, rubbing her face confusedly. She wasn't sure whether she was still dreaming or having a hallucination. Her heart beating like mad, she tore the covers off her body and shot from the bed.

She threw open the door and a wave of disappointment crashed over her.

"What do you want?" she asked a bit too harshly than she normally would and a man in FedEx uniform took a step back, clearly offended.

"I have a special delivery for Dr. Meredith Grey."

"I haven't ordered anything," she frowned.

The man only shrugged and proceeded to drag the package neatly wrapped in a green net onto the porch with his colleague. Meredith's jaw dropped when she realized what it was.

"Who… who sent it?" she demanded.

The delivery guy pushed a form at her to sign and she deciphered the information on the sender. She stayed a good couple of minutes on the porch, scrutinizing the delivery from every angle. She then marched back into the house and grabbed her phone to call Derek.

"Have you gone completely insane?" she asked instead of a greeting. She wasn't angry or annoyed just… bewildered.

"I take it that you've already got the package?" he laughed and there was a definite hint of excitement in his voice.

"Derek, why on earth did you send me a Christmas tree?"


"Where's Mer?" Cristina asked Owen as he sat down at one of the tables in the inn. "At work? Should I pack her lunch or is she gonna still come?"

"Uh, she's not at work," he told her, spreading a napkin over his lap. "She took a day off."

Cristina froze at his words with the tray with Owen's soup in midair. "Meredith doesn't take days off."

"She did today," he replied, watching the dish intently, not because of an overpowering hunger but the risk of it landing on his head. He knew how much of an important place Meredith had in Cristina's life. If his girlfriend became too preoccupied with her best friend's wellbeing, that tray could easily slip from her fingers.

"Did she say why?" she demanded though Owen expelled a breath of relief when she put the bowl on the table before him.

"She said… that she had to decorate a Christmas tree…" A short silence followed his statement and he was not surprised with her reaction. He had been quite baffled himself after Meredith hung up but her absence at the practice was not problematic. The day was uneventful so far. They expected a bigger amount of work the next day.

"Meredith doesn't decorate Christmas trees," Cristina said slowly. "At least not at home."

"Maybe you should check up on her," he sighed. "She did sound off in a way…"

"A bad way?"

"No, not really. More like… emotional."

"I need to see what's going on," she shot, peeling off her apron.


Meredith smiled as she scrutinized the objects she had just taken out of the large wooden chest in the attic. She had been up here almost two hours already, but it didn't look as if she was going to finish any time soon.

At first, she had just intended to find some Christmas decorations, she was sure there had to be some, take them downstairs and head for the practice. If she found too little, she would just buy some at the store in town. She promised Derek she would get the tree ready tonight.

However, she quickly became too caught up in this little world. It was truly another world, a world of the glorious past. Box after box, that world emerged clearer and more mysterious at the same time. She was being pulled within like Alice in Wonderland. Yellow old newspapers, handwritten documents, caskets of different sizes and the content held within clinked temptingly, a music box, hundreds of photographs – kept loosely and in albums, children's toys… Meredith's eyes glimmered with fascination as she sat Indian style on the dust covered floor, her hands busy with precious memorabilia. She was an explorer, an archeologist, a female Indiana Jones…

"Mer? Meredith!"

She looked up towards the door to Cristina standing with her hand on the doorknob, her regard looking rather quizzical.

"Oh, Cristina!" Meredith let out a soft laugh. "I didn't hear you."

"Yeah, I know, that's why I let myself in. What are you doing? And what's with that giant tree on the porch?"

"It's Derek's doing," Meredith giggled. "Now, I have to decorate it."

"With all these?" Cristina glanced skeptically at the sea of objects surrounding her person. "Have you been abducted and brainwashed by aliens?"

"I think Derek might have been," Meredith shrugged carelessly.

"McDreamy sent you a tree?"

"Yep."

"McDreamy sent you a Christmas tree?"

"That's what I said."

"Couldn't he send you a decorated one?"

"Then I wouldn't have found all this!" Meredith gestured around her.

"A pile of old junk?"

"This is not a pile of old junk!" Meredith argued haughtily. "It's a piece of history, relics of the past."

"Yeah, Shepherds' past," Cristina smirked at her knowingly walking over and squatting on the last unoccupied square on the floor.

"They have a fascinating family history," shrugged Meredith as she wiped the dust off of some old book she'd pulled out.

"Hm, maybe," Cristina muttered pensively. She got to her feet and inspected the cluttered attic. "Anything good for the inn, you reckon?"

"Cristina! You are not going to loot this place for some retro gadgets!"

"Don't worry, I won't take the crib," the snarky innkeeper snickered, pointing behind her back.

"What?"

"Oh, don't pretend you haven't seen it," she rolled her eyes. "I bet it's got you planning Shepherd's spawn already."

"It did not!" Meredith protested abruptly but the telltale blush stained her cheeks like red wine on a snow-white tablecloth.

"Yeah, it did."

"So, what, would it be so wrong if it did cross my mind?"

"I didn't say it would be wrong," Cristina said slyly. "But it would require him actually being here, unless you'd just want him as a sperm donor."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, shall we?" Meredith rolled her eyes and stood up to browse through the boxes that were still unopened. "I've never wanted to have children. When I was… We agreed, Mitch and I, not to have them. But now, with Derek, I feel like I… I would like to be the girl that wants it. At the moment, I'm the girl who's too scared to want it."

Cristina silently acknowledged what Meredith had said and didn't grill her further.

"So, is he coming at least to help you decorate that monstrous tree?"

"You know he can't," Meredith answered quietly as her dream stood out vividly in her memory. "He's got the trial to take care of…"

"Ok, then, how are you going to put the tree in the stand?" Cristina asked on.

"In the what?"

"Come on, Mer. You need to put the tree in a stand, even I know that- You know, whatever, I'll help you out."

"You need to go back to the inn," Meredith reminded her. "Christmas, busy time, remember?"

"What do I have Owen for?" quipped Cristina.

"No, honestly, I'll be-"

"Shut up and look for those decorations and keep your eyes open for something resembling a stand."


"I don't remember the house being this quiet over Christmas."

Derek couldn't deny the truth in Amelia's words, but he had chosen not to vocalize them himself, mainly out of concern for their mother. They were sorely depleted this year; the house didn't sound like the Shepherd household at all. True, all of his sisters with their families would arrive for dinner on Christmas Day but today, there were just the three of them at the table, Derek, Amelia and Carolyn. Even Mark didn't make it tonight, being dragged by Addison to finally meet her parents.

"And it's going to be even quieter next year," Mia went on, "with Derbear gone. It's just going to be me and Mom."

They both knew that they could easily join one of the girls, but Carolyn wouldn't hear of it. She had always been a housewife, a mother watching over her little flock. Her house was her castle, she didn't want to be just a guest over Christmas, even if she would be the guest of honor.

"You never know," Derek snickered, trying to cheer up the small gathering, "you might meet your Mr. Right by then."

"I doubt it," she rolled her eyes.

"I pray for it," chuckled Carolyn.

"I could introduce you to someone in Rachel," Derek said pretending to think hard about possible suitors.

"Yeah, right," Amelia snickered. "I would never leave my career; I would never leave surgery."

"I used to think that way. Turns out it's much easier than you'd expect. Even the most complex surgery won't satisfy you-"

"Until your girlfriend satisfies you?"

"Mom!"

"Alrighty, alrighty! Let me just say this, you've completely lost your head."

"I have," he shrugged proudly.

"You're so sickeningly in love… But must your girlfriend live in Rachel?"

"It's her home," Derek replied shortly.

"Bullshit! Her place isn't there! She's like one of the most respected surgeons in America!"

"Mia, I'd appreciate if you tamed your language at this table. And I really hope this conversation isn't going in the direction it spiraled down to the last time we were here together," Carolyn interrupted, reminding them both of the Halloween disaster.

"I'm sorry," Amelia said instantly.

"It's okay," Derek nodded gently. "It's just... not my story to tell. Meredith has her reasons for living there. Rachel is really not that bad. Whatever your expectations are, you're wrong, just as I had been."

"Rachel is a charming place," sighed Carolyn. "You don't remember anything from our vacations there, do you?"

Amelia shook her head. "Not really."

"It has an atmosphere, and the people are wonderful!"

"If they like you," Derek chuckled knowingly.

"Oh, they didn't like you? That's shocking," snickered Amelia. "How did you survive? I bet that girlfriend of yours saved your ass!"

"Mom, she's starting again!"

Carolyn only chuckled as she sipped on her wine. She had no intention of bringing the teasing exchange to an end, it gave her some semblance of a noisy happy house. She was so happy and proud of all her children, most of whom had already started their own families. However, at occasions like Christmas, she missed terribly the times when they were all kids ready to wreak havoc and mischief. But time didn't stand still, which was as much of a curse as it was a blessing.


Meredith crept along the corridor on her tiptoes and carefully descended the stairs. She was being careful not to wake up Cristina who was sleeping in the guest room. She was immensely grateful to her friend; who would have thought decorating a Christmas tree could be such a demanding and time-consuming activity?

Meredith beamed as she entered the living room, its confines illuminated by dozens of lights snaking around the tree. The effort was worth it, the tree looked truly beautiful. They had managed to find a whole large box of old-fashioned ornaments, multicolored and shaped glass balls, angels, stars, silvery chains… Some of them were no longer of any use but the rest was now proudly on display hanging on the tree's many branches. They all sparkled thanks to the lamps weaved here and there and cast spectacular shadows on the walls and the ceiling. She had been reluctant to make a trip to the store just for Christmas lights, but it paid off. The overall effect was stunning, and it brought some kind of pain in her heart, some kind of longing she couldn't thoroughly define – was it for her childhood, her family, Derek?

Driven by an impulse she lay down on the floor and moved herself directly under the tree, so that all she could see was the underside of the branches, the glass balls peeking between them and the colorful blinding light of the lowest lamp.

"Hey," she whispered into her phone.

"Hey, I've been waiting for your call," Derek said softly. He had also sneaked downstairs careful not to alert his sister and his mother. He had waited for Meredith for about an hour already and he had actually got a bit cold, so he abandoned the sofa and sat down in front of the fireplace warming himself up in the dying embers.

"I'm sorry I've made you wait. Cristina's stayed over for the night."

"She did?"

"Yeah, she's been weird lately," Meredith sighed. "She's been looking at me like… I don't know."

"Are you okay?" he asked, worry evident in his voice.

"Yes," she let out a little chuckle. "I swear I am, also because of you. Thank you."

"You're welcome," he grinned. "But what are you thanking me for?"

"For giving me this day. You would have loved it, I'm sure. I combed the entire attic in search of Christmas decorations and found a lot of family heirlooms."

"Really?" he gasped eagerly. "Tell me, what did you find?"

"It would take ages just to enumerate everything. There are hundreds of photographs, some probably as ancient as Rachel is. I found some documents that had come all the way from Ireland for sure."

"Are you serious?" Derek almost yelped in excitement. "God, I need you to show me all of this when I'm back!" he said without thinking.

"When… you're back? You've been thinking about flying over?" Meredith's heart was hammering all over again.

"Of course I have," he let out a soft laugh. He was thinking about it even before he had left. However, Meredith probably didn't suspect that when he'd come to Rachel, he'd come for good, not just a short visit. "Why are you asking? Missing me that much?"

"That too…" she bit on her lip. "But my parents are going to come here in Jan…"

"Oh, so that means you want them to meet me or the exact opposite?"

"I'm not sure yet… I'm sorry, Derek…"

"Don't be. You can't force it; you need to be ready."

"Sometimes I think you're too patient with me… But it's not that I want to hide you from them… I need to prepare them; they're going to be shocked that I'm in a relationship.

"They will be supportive, right?" Derek asked, for the first time feeling a twinge of nervousness. Meeting the parents was a big deal. And if his plans ran smoothly, they would hopefully one day become his in-laws… In-laws… From everything that Meredith told him about her past, Ellis Grey surely appeared like a true monster-in-law. Meredith's father and his second wife surely sounded like decent people but…

"Oh, I'm sure Susan will be. I'm not sure about my dad…" Meredith trailed off.

"Why?" Derek asked cautiously.

"I… with what happened with Mitch… he blamed himself for that…" she sighed.

"How come?"

"He was angry at himself that he hadn't managed to protect me… again… And he was beside himself about Mitch. You know, I'm glad he'd managed to escape."

"How can you say this?" Derek shifted uncomfortably. Meredith had just come very close to the secret he'd been keeping from her, the possible key to capturing Mitch.

"My dad, I think he would have done something stupid if he had got hold of Mitch," she sighed reluctantly.

"What, kill that piece of trash? Well, I can't say that thought has never crossed my mind," Derek chuckled grimly.

"Derek, don't even joke like that! I'm only telling you this to make you realize that it might be hard to gain dad's trust, and it wouldn't be anything personal."

"I will be happy to prove to him that I really love you, when the time comes," he announced suddenly feeling braver. He really loved Meredith, he loved her to distraction. That had to account for something?

"I'm really on a downer…" sighed Meredith. "And it should be a joyous night or something…"

"It's still the best Christmas for me… Yes, it is. Not the happiest, but the best nevertheless, because you're in my life."

Meredith burst out on soft laughter. "Certainly, your appearance in my life has turned it upside down. And I had to spend more on Christmas gifts this year. Speaking of which, my present hasn't made it to New York yet, has it? I really hoped it would. Guess you'll get it after the holidays."

"You got me a present?" he asked, his voice taking up a seductive note. "What is it?"

"You'll see," she giggled. She'd love to see his face upon opening the parcel. She had spent hours racking her brains over what to buy him and she'd finally settled on a funny, very Rachel-style gift – a pair of green boxers with little alien heads printed all over.

"Fine," he pouted. "I'm not going to tell you what I got for either. You'll see when I'm back."

"Der, you've already sent me the tree!"

"That's not a gift," he shrugged. "That's one of the Christmas traditions, and I like Christmas traditions. Mistletoe, for example…" he muttered suggestively, the quality of his voice becoming so intense.

"You better keep away from the mistletoe, mister…" she threatened him playfully.

"Oh, I only want to take advantage of that tradition with you, I assure you. Besides, I'm going to be up to my neck with kids tomorrow. We're going ice skating at the Rockefeller Center."

"Oh, yeah, dad used to take Lexie, Molly, and me every year… whenever I could escape my mother of course… Though, I never got on the rink anyway."

"How come?"

"Derek, I wouldn't want anything to happen to my precious surgeon hands, would I?"

"How old were you exactly?"

"Doesn't matter, I've always known I was going to be a surgeon."

"You're hardcore."

"What can I say? I am."

"Now I'm afraid you'll no longer want to be associated with me if I tell you I'm dressing up as Santa Claus tomorrow."

"What?" Meredith gasped exploding in laughter.

"Let's just say that none of my brothers in law is particularly keen on pretending to be an old overweight man in a red costume with an itchy false beard."

"I think it's sweet!" she giggled. "You're gonna make a great father."

As soon as the words rolled of her tongue, she bit on her lip desperately, silently slapping herself on the forehead. She waited for him to respond but he was silent.

"I…"

"Am I?" he asked finally but she couldn't quite read his voice. She just had a vague feeling that this conversation was going somewhere she was not completely comfortable with.

"I mean, you do want to have children one day, don't you?" she plodded on nervously. Maybe it was better to have that conversation over with.

"Mer… yes, I'd love to have children one day but hardly think it's something we should discuss by phone," he murmured in a way he hoped was warm and assuring, and by no means pressurizing. He was aware that children wouldn't probably happen for a long time, and he was truly fine with it.

"Okay…" she let out the breath she didn't know she was holding and relaxed in her pose under the Christmas tree. "Anyway, I'm staying at the inn tomorrow…"

Engrossed in her conversation with Derek, she didn't notice her friend backing away from the doorway and tiptoeing back upstairs with a worried frown on her face. Practically since their first meeting four years ago, they had become good friends. Their bond surpassed unconditional trust and no judgment principles. They simply… got each other. With a very unpleasant sting of foreboding, Cristina realized the past year had changed a great deal in both of their lives. She herself was quite content, if not happy, with how her life turned out. Meredith, it appeared, was not… Her heart's desire was thousands of miles away from her and every day, Cristina saw new evidence that she missed him terribly. Should she have done something for Meredith by now? Had she been a good friend? Perhaps she should do something more for her other than simply "just being there"? Derek Shepherd seemed to be a man worthy of trust. Cristina sighed; it might have been her duty to give Meredith a little push into the right direction.