Remus:

Common Room
Day 3
11:18 pm

If you were an animate object, rather than a book, you would perhaps wonder what I am doing in the Common Room at quarter past eleven at night.
But you are, in fact, a notebook, which means you are incapable of conscious thought. Actually, you are incapable of any type of thought.
And yes, I am stalling.
I am stalling from you, an inanimate object, who is, as I mentioned above, incapable of conscious thought.

The voice inside my head is telling me that I have have psychological problems if I am unable to confide my secrets in a book specifically designed for confiding my secrets in.

I sometimes wonder if I am schizophrenic. How do you tell?
I have many multiple personalities.
To begin with, there is the most obvious - blood sucking, liver devouring, evil werewolf Remus.
Then there is the book reading, homework doing, sesquipedalian, quiet and completely asexual Remus, who is in control of my mind a majority of the time.
And thirdly there is the Remus that dwells on the Fiasco involving the Prefects Bathroom, who thinks that Lily Evans is very pretty, and who secretly harbours a desire that she will press him against a wall and snog him.

We shall call the first one Were-Remus.
We shall call the second one Mild-Remus.
And we shall call the third one Bob.

I fear that one day Bob will be eaten by Were-Remus and Mild-Remus will sit reading a book, not having the courage to intervene.

I fear for my own sanity. I need some chocolate.

There. I feel so much calmer now. Chocolate is the cure for everything.
Except for Bob's Lily-Lust.
And Lycanthropy.

I am up at this hour because I have still not managed to remove the anvil of guilt tangled up in my innards. It has moved from my stomach to my intestines. Which, as you can imagine (or could imagine if you were not inanimate and incapable of conscious thought) is quite uncomfortable.
I should probably tell James.

Were-Remus: No. He will try and eat you.
Mild-Remus: He will be grateful that you confessed the truth to him. There is no reason for him to be as infuriated as our lycanthropic friend so crudely described.
Bob: It's no big deal. So, you saw her... without anything on. James or Sirius would tell tales of such a venture as though it were a conquest. You, however, are above that. Its not really a big deal. No need to repeat it. James' feelings would get hurt.
Were-Remus: And he would try and eat you.
Bob: Probably.
Mild-Remus: You are both being irrational. James is our friend. Surely he values our friendship more than a girl!
Bob: How can you say that after the Fiasco Involving the Prefects Bathroom? I mean, you saw her. You have to admit that James' infatuation is not entirely... unfounded.
Were-Remus: Yes. Lily would taste good with a little bit of salt. Yum yum.
Bob: Yum yum indeed...
Mild-Remus: Mind. Gutter. Out.
Bob: Sorry. But back on topic... Lets take a vote on whether or not to tell James about the Fiasco Involving the Prefects Bathroom.
What do you say, Mild-Remus?
Mild-Remus: I say, we should tell him.
Were-Remus: Do you value our life? If we tell him, he will rip out our intestines. Believe me, I know the urge. Its impossible to resist. I say no.
Bob: I have to agree with Were-Remus.
Mild-Remus: You just want it to be your little secret so you can be guilty about not telling James, and have an excuse to dwell on the Incident happily.
Bob: That is totally untrue.
Were-Remus: Ahem.
Mild-Remus: (Coughs)
Bob: Whether I feel like that or not, you've been outvoted, Mild-Remus. Now go back to the cranial Library.

Evidently I am going mad from sleep deprivation. I should probably go to bed.

Lily just came in.
More later.

--

Dorms
Day 3
Ten minutes or so later

This is what happened.

Lily: (Walks in, sees me and turns a violent shade of red) Remus! What are you doing here?
Remus: Erm... thinking.
(Bob: Real smooth, wolf-boy)
Remus: What were you doing?
Lily: (Turns redder) I was going to go for a walk.
Remus: In the middle of the night?
Lily: Yes. On the grounds. I like walking in the moonlight. It helps me... clear my thoughts.
(Were-Remus: (Howls at moon)
Remus: I'm really sorry abou-
Lily: I'm so sorry-
Remus: I shouldn't have barged in like that.
Lily: I should have locked the door.
Remus & Lily: It's not your fault!
(Both go even redder)
Remus:Well, erm...
Lily: Yes, I should be...
Remus: Yes.
Lily: Well, goodnight.
(Turns to leave)
Lily: Oh, and erm... about that Potions assignment. I know it's awkward for the both of us but we should at the very least try and get a decent mark.
Remus: Yes.
Lily: So I'll meet you in the library at four tomorrow, okay? We can work on it there.
Remus: Oh. Alright.
Lily: Goodnight. Again.
Remus: Yes.
(Bob: Snog her! Snog her!)
Remus: (Softly) Goodnight.
(Exit Lily stage right)

Mild-Remus was forced shortly afterwards to petrify and gag Bob, and levitate him into his trunk where he will stay locked until after tomorrows study session. Possibly forever.

I really am insane.

Must sleep.

--

Lily:

4th September, Female Dorms, Gryffindor Tower, 12:02 am

The world is a cruel and unfair place.

I couldn't sleep. I was thinking too much about what happened in the bathroom. So I decided to go on a walk in the grounds - a habit I developed in my third year. It's surprisingly calming to be out there at night. It's nice and peaceful. I can lie on my back, just gazing at the stars. It's a lovely feeling, looking up at the vast night sky, and wondering how the trivialities in my life can seem so colossal compared to them.
The hard bit is getting out there. And getting back in again. I've narrowly missed being caught by Filch several times, which is why I save my nighttime walks for serious pondering.
This was an occasion in which I desperately needed to go for a walk. Clear my head, and throw out all the crazy garbage festering in there.

But I didn't get to go on my walk. You know why?
Remus bloody Lupin.

He was sitting in the common room, alone on an old armchair, curled up like a cat and writing something in a notebook. I wanted to yell at him for being up so late, but he looked so frail in the moonlight. His skin was tinged with gray and he had humongous bags under his eyes. He seemed so... tired. Not just like he needed a decent coffee. Tired inwardly.
Before I knew I was a witch, my grandmother had a stroke. She was pretty damn old, so the medical staff thought, 'Well, we might as well keep her in hospital anyway. She'll be popping her clogs soon anyway,', resulting in her pretty much lying in a hospital bed for an entire year.
The last time I went and saw her before she died, she had an expression on her face identical to the one on Remus'. Like she was just... tired of everything. Tired of life.
Maybe Remus has cancer or something.

Anyway. He saw me. The below conversation followed.

"Remus! What are you doing here?"
Oh shit. I've been caught and I've only been out of bed about a minute.
"Erm... thinking."
Piss off, you nosy bitch.
"What were you doing?"
Tell me your intentions for the night or Filch will know you've been up out of bed...
"I was going to go for a walk"
Empty threat, my friend.
"In the middle of the night?"
A likely story.
"Yes. On the grounds. I like walking in the moonlight. It helps me... clear my thoughts"
Nina's snores are less cacophonous out there.
"I'm really sorry about-"
Don't tell anyone I'm a bathroom perv, okay?
"I'm so sorry-"
Don't worry. I won't reveal your secret identity.
"I shouldn't have barged in like that."
By the way, you have a fantastic body.
"I should have locked the door."
Why thank you.
"It's not your fault!" (We both said this at the same time)
So... why don't me and you get together sometime and I can gawk some more at those boobs of yours.
"Well, erm..."
It'll cost you three galleons.
"Yes, I should be..."
Saturday good for you?
"Yes."
Uh huh.
"Well, goodnight."
You can go now.
"Oh, and erm... about that Potions assignment. I know it's awkward for the both of us but we should at the very least try and get a decent mark"
Just because you saw me naked does not mean that you don't have to do any of the work.
"Yes."
Not do any of the work? Lily, have you ever actually seen me without a book or quill at hand?
"So I'll meet you in the library at four tomorrow, okay? We can work on it there."
I guess not. So you can't excuse yourself from this, because you love studying!
"Oh. Alright."
Crap.
"Goodnight. Again."
Kiss me, you fool!
"Yes."
Lily, I have to tell you something.
IM GAY.
"Goodnight"

READ BETWEEN THE LINES.
Not really. I'm just tired, which results in temporary madness. Insomnia's a bitch.
I doubt Remus is gay.
Although as far as I know, he's never had a girlfriend.
And I don't want him to kiss me.
Much.
Maybe a little.

I think I like Remus Lupin.

I think Cupid has been spending too much time looking at the bottom of a barrel of mead.

--

Lily:

4th September, Female Dorms, Gryffindor Tower, 9:34 pm

This afternoon did not go well.
For one thing, I arrived at four thirty. When I entered, Remus asked me politely what had held me up. I asked him what he meant. It was only then that I discovered my watch was running half an hour late.
While he was waiting, Remus had begun work, and had already assembled half a roll of parchment in notes. And his writing is really, really tiny.
We then spent the remaining hour in awkward silence. I was unable to concentrate in his presence and kept wondering whether he was gay or not, which caused me to read sentences over and over without taking in a single word. So needless to say, I didn't write down many notes. By the end of it he had about two rolls of parchment and I had about two sentences.
He was very nice about this, and did not comment on it, but looked grumpy. I don't blame him - if I was him I would have screamed at me. Then again, if I were him, I would have snogged me by now.
Okay, so I wouldn't have.
But I wish he would.

--

Remus:

Dorms
Day 4
10:18 pm

I've developed a habit of writing in this notebook at night, haven't I?
I'm too busy in the day, I guess.

This afternoons study session with Lily went relatively well as far as our interaction went. If non-existent is relatively well.
I was in a a bad mood - it's the full moon tomorrow - and she seemed rather preoccupied too, so we didn't talk much.
Not that we would have anyway.
So we just sat there and worked. I didn't even read the notes she made. I couldn't be bothered.
We are having another session on Monday.
The moon is almost full outside my window.
I wish tomorrow was over already.