Disclaimer: So I says to Akira Toriyama I says, "How goes the rights to DBZ?" Then he punched me. It hurt.
.----Frieza: Powerless Incompetence!-----.
Yajirobe had already set up Tenshinhan's lunch, he wanted to get him to help his crazy scheme so much. He also wants a pony... Yajirobe has many disturbing issues, you know. Well you probably didn't, do you even listen to Yajirobe when he speaks, huh? HUH? No, I didn't think so. What about his feelings? He just wants to be loved like everyone else too.
"This looks great!" Tenshinhan complimented as he sat down at the table. "But why is the plate surrounded by dead rats?"
"Who knows. Maybe it's the new in thing?"
"You're saying that rats came to the table just so they could die in a horrible attempt to be cool?"
"... Yes."
"Fair enough, can't argue with that logic." Tenshinhan shrugged as he bit into the sandwich, I didn't mention it was a sandwich did I? No, didn't think so. That's why I failed fanfiction school, oh my terrible past has caught up to me! Woe!
"So, what do you think?"
"It has a certain taste..." Tenshinhan kept chewing on the sandwich until a blinding pain hit the back of his head. "Argh! What was that?"
Yajirobe looked around the room. "I think it was Yamcha."
"Why would Yamcha come all the way over here and hit me in the back of the head?"
"Because it's Yamcha."
"... Once again you raise a good point." Tenshinhan concluded and went back to the sandwich, until the rat poison kicked in and he fell to the ground screaming in pain. "It... burns!"
"I don't know why, I mean I gave some to the studio audience and I haven't heard anything from them."
"Please.." Tenshinhan grabbed Yajirobe's arm. "Take me to the hospital!"
"Why don't I just give you a senzu bean, I have some right here!"
"No.. hospital."
"But these will heal you, if they can make Yamcha a new stomach I'm sure they'll cure whatever is making you sick."
"Hospital..."
"No, I have senzu beans right here!"
"But Goku went to the hospital... after Vegeta fled and suddenly everything revolved around him... I want to hospital!"
"Power over everything, eh?" Yajirobe rubbed his chin. "Whoa, think of the money! I'll be right back!"
"Wait..." Tenshinhan called out, but Yajirobe had already ran out the door and left him. "Great."
.-.
Vegeta walked along a thin corridor, the walls were projecting movies of Frieza, one wall showed him fighting Super Saiyan Goku, while another showed him kicking Cooler in the crotch, which isn't a nice thing to do!
"What is this place?" Vegeta asked no-one in particular. "Why aren't the walls full of movies of me! I'm the prince of all Saiyans, you know! Fear my disturbingly large widow's peak!"
This place shows the memories of Frieza.
"Why?"
Plot-progression, yeesh. You're Vegeta, the walking plot device for God's sake and you didn't realize this?
"Rather snippy for a disembodied voice, aren't we?"
Quiet you! This place shows the entire life of Frieza, feel free to look around.
"No thanks, I'll just go back into the hole..."
If you don't look around, I'll kick you in the hole!
"Yes'm." Vegeta caved in and starting to slowly look around, the further he walked down to corridor, the further into Frieza's past he went. Vegeta stopped at a movie which shows Frieza as a child.
"Oh Frieza! Look what you've to that planet!" King Cold tisked at the boy.
"But the aliens on it wouldn't surrender their souls to me!"
"Now son... You know I love soul reaping as much as the next tyrant, but you can't just destroy a planet for no reason. You first have to send a squad from that planet to overtake another planet, this will cause a survivor of that particular planet to strike a member of the squad and give him or her the power to see into the future. Then when he tries to rebel against you... BOOM! There goes him and the entire planet."
"That seems complicated and unnecessary." Frieza pointed out.
"Who is the evil galactic tyrant around here?"
"Him." Frieza pointed to a figure standing behind Cold.
"Oh, hello!" Palpatine waved.
"He doesn't count!"
Vegeta looked at the movie oddly. "Wow, Frieza's father was really strict, I'm glad my father wasn't like that when he was constantly forcing me to fight just so I could become a Super Saiyan." Vegeta thought about what he just said and started to cry. "Why didn't you love me daddy? Just because I wanted to hang around the boys..."
.-.
Goku stared at the massive hole in the wall while munching on a hotdog. He wasn't entirely sure why Vegeta popped out of it, he just knew it looked cool and mysterious. Just as the Saiyan was about to leapt into the hole, the front door burst open and Brolly stepped in.
"KAKAROTTO!"
"Oh for Gods.." Goku slapped his forehead in frustration, then pointed at the door. "Brolly, go home! This is the four hundred and twenty third time you've tried to kill me, give up already."
"KAKAROTTO!"
"Look, just because I cried a lot as a kid is no reason for you to be so insane that all you can think about is my death. Okay, get a hobby."
"KAKAROTTO!"
"No, Brolly. Kakarotto is not a hobby, Kakarotto is a person... me. Do something else, uh... collect stamps or something, just go away!"
"K-Kakarotto?" Brolly looked at his nemesis oddly, not sure what to think.
"Here, go read this." Goku chucked a dictionary at Brolly, it slammed against the Saiyan's head and caused him to fall over and explode. "Oh, great. Now I have to seal this hole up and clean the house of Brolly's innards... again!"
.-.
The Dragonball flew around the world doing nothing really. He just wanted to enjoy the last few moments the Universe ever had of... well, existing. Over the hills and through the stomach's of innocent children the Dragonball went, until a strange object appeared in front of him. "Hey! Get out of me way!"
The object said nothing.
"Don't make me destroy you with my powerful magic!"
The object continued to be silent.
"W-wait!" The Dragonball started floating backwards, but it too late. The object fired a massive ki blast at the Dragonball and caused it to explode. Yes, that's right folks. The Plastic Bag/Dragonball went the way of Mecha Frieza and only appeared there for the sake of introducing a new and more powerful character. Go go bad writing!
Oh and explosions, everyone likes explosions. Lord knows we don't watch Dragonball for it's plot.
.-.
Vegeta faced a massive wall, seemingly in the middle of no-where. "What is this one, voice? Tell me now!"
That is what Frieza is currently thinking.
"Is he going to use that for...?"
Yes, he is going to use that to destroy the world!
"But, I thought they got rid of that."
Same.
"You know what?"
What?
"Despite the fact that we both know what that is. I don't really feel like saying what it is for any people that might be listening to us and wondering what we're talking about."
Same here, let's go eat food!
.-.
"Janemba! Janemba! Janemba!" A massive legion of Hell's citizens chanted continuously. Cell and Dodoria were the only ones who hadn't been taken over by the horrible poem. "Janemba! Janemba! Janemba!"
"What do we do, your grace?" Dodoria asked.
"How should I bloody know?" Cell snapped back. "Wait... maybe we can get Janemba to free them of this curse!"
"But isn't he trapped in that tank machine?"
"We'll brake him out!"
"But what if he just creates more horrible poetry? Ones that turn people into hideous dancing zombies, we all know zombies are horrible dancers!"
"I'm well aware of that. But what else can we do?" Cell sighed.
"Escape from Hell?" Dodoria pointed towards the still opened door.
Cell suddenly started to shudder. "Oh no... not after last time!"
"Then what do we do?"
"I think I know a way..."
.-.
Goku had just finished cleaning up the rotting remains of the Legendary Super Saiyan. "Pfft! More like Legendary Stupid Saiyan, ha! That's a classic, I've got to write that one down!" Goku chuckled to himself as he went to get some paper, he found a piece lying on the ground. "Meh, I'll just use this."
"Yo!" Krillin called out as he crawled out of the hole in the wall.
"Krillin? What are you doing here?"
"I found a hole in Master Roshi's bathroom, so I decided to crawl through and here I am. See? I brought a video camera with me, just in case there was something cool on the other side."
"Oooooh!" Goku stared at the camera. "Gimme! I need it for a second."
"Well... alright, but be careful."
"I will, I will." Goku muttered as he aimed the camera at the piece of paper for a few minutes. "There, done and done!"
"What's so great about that paper?" Krillin asked. "Is it a humorous drawing of Vegeta?"
"No, I gave that up months ago." Goku replied as he took the video from the camera and placed it into an envelope.
"So, what's on it?"
"No idea, that's why I'm sending it to the News People, they know this kind of stuff!" Goku smiled as he walked outside and tossed it into the air. "It should be on the national news tonight. Watch it!"
"Alright, I will." Krillin sighed as he crawled back into the hole. "This hole disappoints me! Seeya later."
"Bye." Goku waved as Krillin disappeared. "The news people know all!"
.-.
"So Bill?" Barry walked up to the man. "Got any good stories for tonight?"
"No, I'm afraid I've got nothing..." Bill sighed.
"Uh, there's something stuck in your skull."
"Well what do you know? It's an envelope!" Bill pulled it out and grabbed the video inside. "It looks interesting. I'm going to put it on tonight's show for no logical reason!"
"Uh, Bill. Maybe you should have that massive bleeding crater in your head looked at?"
"No, Barry." Bill chuckled. "I don't think I will!"
