Disclaimer: I got bored one day and punched Akira Toriyama square in the head. He countered with the Rights to DBZ and OHKO'd me..

.---Frieza: Powerless Imcompetence----.

Gohan ran as fast as his little Saiyan legs would allow. The army of Janemba zombies on his tail. No matter how hard he tried to escape them a new group would simply show up and seemingly trap him.. Of course he ran into Puar at one point who asked why he simply didn't just fly over the zombies. Gohan responded to this with a bunch of inane babbling and bizare hand movements, he was weird like that. But after running from the zombies for such a long time, Gohan was getting incredibly tired and decided to rest in a nearby building.

"Stupid zombies!"

"Son, don't talk like that! You can do it!" A voice called out to him.

"Father? Where are you?"

"Sitting right next to you." Goku pointed out as Gohan quickly turned his head to face him. "Hi!"

"Father! Do you know what's causing all these zombies to appear?"

"ZOMBIES!" Goku screamed. "Stand back! I'll use my Kamehameha!"

"Would you stop saying that!"

"Sorry. Anyway, why do we have zombies?"

"I have no idea, I believe they keep chanting 'Janemba' or something like that."

"Aha!"

"You know what's causing this?"

"Yes.. it's Frieza!"

"How'd you figure?"

"Because they're chanting his name, Gohan. Duh."

"Uh... They're saying Janemba, not Frieza."

"Silly Gohan, Frieza's dead!"

"But.." Gohan looked at his father in confusion and horror. "You just said.."

"Frieza's dead, Gohan!" Goku glared. "Trunks killed him.. I remember the sound effects... Bam!.. Zoom!.. Slice!.. Argh, my friggin' torso!"

"But you weren't even there when that happened!"

"Oh wasn't I?"

"No. You weren't."

"Oh. Well nevermind then." Goku smiled before walking off. Just before he reached the door he spun around. "By the way, you haven't seen a guy called Sun Gookew, have you?"

"No... Should I have?"

"I don't know, you tell me..." Goku muttered. "Maybe you are he are in on this evil plan!"

"What evil plan?"

"Wouldn't you like to know, Gohan!"

"Yes.. that is why I asked."

.-.

Cell paced around in palace in Hell. Ever since Frieza had be banished things had gotten a lot worse down there.. Well, it's Hell.. so I guess that's kind of natural. But Cell didn't care. For one thing, he had Dodoria constantly asking him if Frieza was going to return and throw a sexy party. And secondly, with the exception of himself, Zarbon and Cooler, the entire population of Hell had been put under the spell of Janemba's horrible poetry. 'How?' you ask? Zarbon decided to scrap his idea for a sitcom and focus on writing lovely poetry. It started out alright, he would sing about the birds, the plants, the fuzzy little animals and how he wished they would all explode and die. But then he got bored one day and copied Janemba's poetry down and spoke it aloud to nearly everyone in Hell.

Needless to say, it did not go very well.

"What do we do?" Dodoria ran around the room in a panic. "Surely we will be overtaken by this evil spell as well!"

"Calm down!" Cell snapped at the alien. "Surely me and my awesome British accent will think of something!"

"Well you better.. it seems they now have a leader." Cooler stated as he looked out one of the windows.

"Give me a look." Cell ordered. Outside he could see the countless zombies splitting into two rows as a single figure walked down the middle. His light-gray shell reminded Cell of his own. Except this one had blood red skin and did nothing but cackle like an idiot as he continued advancing on the palace. "..Janemba!"

"Hahahahahekkekeekeeha!" The demon laughed for no decently explained reason.

"Who the hell is Janemba?" Cooler asked.

"He used to the greatest poet in all of Hell. Until one day he wrote a poem so horrible that his brain and vocal cords destroyed themselves so no one would ever have to hear it again. Ever since then the only thing he can do is say his own name and laugh!" Cell explained.

"So what does he want?"

"Hahahahakekekagaahaaa!" Janemba continues to laugh.

"I think he wants to try and take over hell.." Cooler suggested.

"What makes you say that?"

"He's pointing at our palace and laughing evily. I think that's a pretty good sign, you nit!"

"None of us stand a chance against him." Cell sighed. "We might actually have to.. leave Hell!"

"But it's such a nice place!" Dodoria cried. "I don't want to leave."

"Oh, don't worry." Cell patted him on the shoulder. "You won't be leaving, only me and Cooler will."

"Why?"

"Because you'll used as this distraction as me and Cooler run from the palace and escape Hell. By this point a thousand zombies will be eating away at your non-existant body."

"... I don't like that plan."

"You'll just have to accept it, Dodoria.." Cell muttered. "You'll just have to accept it."

"I'm happy with the plan.." Cooler said.

.-.

"I really don't want to be here anymore!" Vegeta yelled to the roof. "It's dark and smelly and has images of Kakarot everywhere."

"I know you're up there!"

"Hello!" A six-headed, pus spewing, headless Nappa doll cheered. "Nice to meet you."

"..Also because of that. Seriously, what the hell?"

"I have feelings too!" The Nappa doll cried as he ran off down the corridor.

"I didn't mean it like that, I still like yo--Oh for God's sake, I'm trying to comfort a bloody monster now." Vegeta kicked the wall in anger. "Where the hell is this item anyway?"

...

"There really isn't an item, is there?" Vegeta's eye twitched. "This is all some evil scheme to get a laugh, isn't it! ISN'T IT!"

Shut up, Vegeta! You're giving me a headache.

"You're getting a headache? What about me? Look at the crap I have to put up with!"

"Hi Vegeta!" Goku called out. "Nice to meet you again!"

"STOP STALKING ME!" Vegeta screamed before running off in a random direction.

"What a strange man.."

.-.

"Soooo.." Frieza twiddled his thumbs. "What do you guys do for fun?"

"SMASH!"

"That's so facinating. Do go on!"

"SMASH!"

"Is that all you say? I thought we could partake in some friendly conversation. I'll get the ball rolling.. So how about that local sport team, eh? Aren't they just the bee's knees?"

"SMASH!"

"Bloody hell." Frieza sighed before ratting the cage to his cell. "This isn't what I thought this'd be like. I want out!"

"You should of thought of that before you stole the dress, freak."

"I was just trying to fit in with your disturbingly dull species." Frieza cried.

.-.

A small robot walked down the once busy streets of West City. In fact that would still be busy if the poem hadn't already turned everyone into zombies. But it did, so it wasn't. The robot would hum a little tune to himself, find the nearest lifeform, slice it apart, reap it of all it's organs and continue onwards, humming once more. This was indeed and very strange and very disturbing robot.

But not as strange or disturbing as the object that slammed into it's back at terminal velocity.

"Found you at last!" It yelled.