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.---- Frieza: Powerless Incompetence----.
"So you left the door to Hell open?" Cell asked as he sent a death glare towards Dodoria.
"Uhh.. Yup!"
"Letting all the Janemba copies free?"
"That's right."
"Do you have any idea how screwed we are?"
"I AM SUPER 13!"
"Shut up." Cooler snapped "No-one was asking you."
"Sorry guys..." Dodoria sighed.
"Oh you will be." Cell cracked his knuckles and advanced on the alien. "I can destroy the entire Solar System, you know."
"We know.." Cooler sighed. "You've only told us thirty-six friggin' times already!"
"Do not doubt my power!" Cell screamed. "Prepare to feel my wrath! Hahaha!"
"That's not your wrath, Cell. That's you frantically waving your arm in my face while laughing like an idiot.."
"Oh. Right."
.-.
"Okay Frieza!" Vegeta laughed. "It is time for you to finally be killed by me! For I am the fist of pain and justice! I was going to beat you back on Namek.. but my painful death by your hands kind of ruined that... But not anymore! I am a Super Saiyan, damn it! Yes, this time I actually am one. I'm not lying anymore. I am the strongest Saiyan in the Universe! And mark my words, I am going to kill you this time!"
"ALLY TO GOOD! NIGHTMARE TO YOU!"
"And I--What the!" Vegeta stopped mid sentence and spun around to see Goku standing behind him. "Kakarot! What are you doing here?"
"I heard your amazing speech, so I thought I'd come join in."
"Well.. don't. You already killed Frieza once, now it's my turn!"
"Twice, actually."
"What! Twice!"
"Yeah. Frieza came back this one time and invaded Yardrat. I went over there and killed him and his massive army of Ninja Kites. Oh the flapping in the wind.. It was horrible!"
"... Why wasn't I informed!"
"Didn't want to hurt your feelings, silly!" Goku smiled. "You're my best friend!"
"..Ugh. Anyway, I will be the second person to kill Frieza."
"Trunks.."
"Okay, third."
"Don't forget Gohan."
"Gohan has defeated Frieza?"
"Yup. One punch."
"Anyone else that I should know of?"
"Hmmm.. Nope!"
"Okay, great..."
"Oh, Yamcha has as well."
"Yamcha!"
"Yup!"
"Excuse me, I'm going to go throw up." Vegeta clutched his stomach and limped off.
"Okay, seeya Veg'!"
.-.
"Soooo.." Yamcha twiddled his thumbs. "I've defeated Frieza, you know."
"We all have." Tenshinhan sighed. "Now shut up. We're trying to contemplate how we died.."
"We died when the muffin unleashed it's Super Kamehameha. Remember?" Krillin replied.
"Oh yes. The screaming pain..." Tenshinhan sighed. "Stupid bloody muffin."
" I haven't defeated Frieza!" Mr. Popo called out.
"Of course you haven't. You're all short.. and.. small-like!" Yamcha laughed. ".. By the way. Why are you dead?"
"Well..." Mr. Popo sighed.
.-.
"Hahaha!" Mr. Popo laughed. "Now-the-world-is-mine!"
"Oh-no-you-don't!" Dende yelled as kicked the main door to the lookout down. "The-world-is-mine-Hahaha!"
"Hahaha! My-Kung-Fu-is-better-than-your-Kung-Fu!"
"No-it-isn't. Hahaha!"
"Ohhhhhhh!" Mr. Popo gasped. "Hahaha!-I-will-win-this-super-battle!"
"We-shall-see-Hahaha!"
"Why-are-we-laughing-so-much?"
"I-do-not-know-Hahaha!"
Dende and Mr. Popo continued laughing until they stopped and paused for no real reason. Then the fight begun! Oh what a fight it was. They were jumping all over the walls and flipping around the place while some random Japanese song went on about the flowers and how they would explode with fury and anger. For that's what flowers actually do instead of blooming and standing there doing nothing of any real importance. Anyway, after a lot of flipping, running and over-dramatic pan shots. The two returned to their original places.
"It-seems-your-Kung-Fu-is-best!" Mr. Popo laughed. "Hahaha!"
"Yes-it-is. Die-now!"
"Oh-no-I-am-dead!" Mr. Popo gasped "Blargh!"
"Hahaha! I-am-the-ultimate-victor! Time-for-naked-dancing-super-fun-time!"
And he so did.
.-.
"Did that really happen, Popo?" Krillin raised an eyebrow.
"Well.. no. I actually just stood on a scoop of ice-cream and slid off the edge of the lookout."
"Well..t-that's just stupid."
"Yes, why else would I make up such a story?"
"Good point."
.-.
Gohaaaan. Gohan!
"What?" Gohan spun around as he walked up to the edge of Capsule Corp. "Who said that?"
Gohaaaan!
"Yes. I can hear you. What is it?"
Oh. Right. We are the Random Disembodied Voices. Remember us?
"Sure. You helped as save the world from Cell and the Plastic Bag."
Yes. We did well. Anyway.. Frieza hold the most powerful weapon in the Universe. Only you can stop him!
"What kind of weapon?"
Uh.. we don't really know.. But it's bad! So very baaaaad!
"Uh.. Okay. So what can I do to stop him?"
We need you to turn Super Saiyan 3!
"But that's a pansy form! PANSY!"
Then why do you use it?
"I don't. My father does."
Oh, okay then. We'll talk to him. See you!
"It's a pansy form, I tell you!"
.-.
"Here it is gentlemen!" Cell shouted as he flung a white sheet into the air. "My weapon for killing those evil Janemba freaks!"
"Where is it?" Cooler looked around.
"Here!" Cell pointed. "In my glorious hand!"
"What? The white sheet?"
"Yes. What else could I have possibly meant?"
"I thought you had something under the sheet..."
"Well, I do have a Hyper-Mega-Death-Ray around here somewhere." Cell shrugged. "But this is much more powerful!"
"It's a bloody bed sheet, you arse!" Cooler cursed.
"Yup. Impressive, no?"
"No."
"Hey. This is my evil space station. If you don't like it, get off!"
"Gladly." Cooler sighed and walked off.
"Y-You like it.. don't you Super 13?" Cell asked.
"I AM SUPER 13!"
"Thanks..." Cell muttered. "Now to use this weapon on Earth! I will destroy both the Janemba thingos and finally get revenge on Son Gohan! Hahahaha!"
.-.
"Janemba! Janemba! Janemba!"
"Looks like this is the end!" One human called out.
"Never fear! I am a Super Saiyan!" Another called out.
"You are?"
"Well... kinda."
"..."
"I have blonde hair!"
"You're an idiot."
"Now that's just mean!"
"Janemba! Janemba! Janemba!"
"Never fear!" Piccolo called out. "For I am here to save you all!"
"It's.. a green monster!" The humans screamed. "He's come to eat us all!"
"Nononono! I am here to save you all."
"Save us all.. by eating us!" One person called out, causing the rest to panic and run away.
"Well that didn't work." Piccolo sighed.
"Janemba! Janemba! Janemba!"
"Oh shut up!" Piccolo huffed and went into deep thought. "There has to be some way I can find out what's causing all of this nons---Argh!" Piccolo was cut off mid-sentence by a flying muffin striking him in the back of the head.
"Watch where you're going!" The Muffin snapped.
"Holy crap! A talking Muffin!"
"Holy crap! A SUPER KAMEHAMEHA!"
"Holy crap! I am so dead.." Piccolo yelled then cried.. then died.
.-.
"So anyway!" Goku continued talking to Vegeta as he walked out of the toilet. "I went up to Mable, right. And she said.."
"Shut up, Kakarot!"
"No she didn't say that, silly!" Goku chuckled. "Actually.. I forgot what she said. Oh well."
"Oh God.." Vegeta sighed before he noticed that the town around them had shifted into a realm of darkness. "Well that doesn't happen every day."
"Does for me!" Goku chirped. "Just before I go to sleep."
"..You're a moron."
Ahem.. excuse us!
"Oh Hell, it's them!" Vegeta screamed and tried to run away.
Vegeta, where could you possibly run to?
"Uh.. oh yeah. Never mind then." He grumbled and walked back to where Goku was.
"Hi voices!"
Yes. Hello Goku. We have called you here so you can help us.
"With what?"
Vegeta has an item that can defeat Frieza and his incredibly powerful item.
"Oooh."
Yes. Anyway, we need you to turn Super Saiyan 3 and power up the item for us.
"Why?"
Because that's how it works. It takes power from other life-forms so it can be used.
"Oh. Does it hurt?"
Very much so. In fact, you might pass out because of it.
"Oh.."
"Haha! Kakarot has to experience pain!" Vegeta laughed. "I could enjoy this."
Vegeta, on the other hand. Will have to have his tounge cut off for the duration of the battle.
"Oh son of a..."
.-.
"Excuse me, sir." A lady walked up to Frieza as he got off his plane. "Do you think you could help us get some money?"
"You want me.. Frieza! Lord of all Time!.. to help you get some money?"
"Yes, we are terribly poor and cannot buy gifts for Christmas."
"Pimp Santa will be most displeased." A child followed up.
"Oh fine!" Frieza caved in. "If it'll get you off my back about it." He reached into a pocket of skin on his waste and pulled out a wallet shaped item.
"Hurray!" The children laughed. "We can his christma---"
Now. The children would have normally finished that sentence. But when Frieza opened the wallet shaped item, it let out a massive explosion that wiped out nearly half of the continent. And children normally can't finish what they started saying when they're missing their entire body and everything several square miles around it.
"Well." Frieza coughed. "Certainly wasn't expecting that."
