Disclaimer: Knock knock!

Who's there?

Akira Toriyama!

Akira Toriyama who?

RIGHTS TO DBZ!

Your joke sucks and now I am going to stab you in the eye!

Argh, my retina!

.---- Frieza: Powerless Incompetence----.

"And that's the story!" The White Sheet explained as he floated through space.

"It kind of turned into a rant near the end.." Gohan muttered.

"Yeah, I do that sometimes."

"So what happens now?"

"Well, Cell will most likely destroy the cosmos and we'll all be forced into Hell with those Janemba creatures. Unless you harness the power of Super Saiyan 3!"

"No! Never! It's a pansy mode! PANSY!" Gohan screamed and shaked about violently before he was struck by a comet.

"Well, that certainly settles that.." The Sheet shrugged and continued to float about in space pointlessly.

.-.

"And that, my stupid disembodied friend." Vegeta sighed as he took off his professor glasses and turned away from a blackboard full of jargon. "Is why Frieza is not a computer!"

Uh.. all you did was write "FRIEZA IS A BIG DUMB-HEAD!" and did a little drawing of him being mauled by some sort of sausage...

"Oh, that was my representation of his fight against Kakarot on Namek."

"I'm a sausage now?" Goku scratched his head as he stared at the black board. "I had no idea.. what will I tell Chi-Chi?"

It's just a drawing Goku..

"I wonder what I taste like?" Goku sniffed at his left arm before biting a big chunk out of it. "Ooh. Delicious!... but also. Ow!"

And he somehow manages to beat you in battles?

"Oh shut up!" Vegeta huffed.

Well anyway. Now that the CD of +1 Virus has been charged, you must head down to Earth and defeat Frieza! Good luck!

"But how do we get out?" Vegeta asked.

Door to your left.

"Has that always been there?"

Yup.

"Oh. Fair enough."

.-.

"Well.. it looks like I'll have to use the Hyper-Death Ray.." Cell sighed as he walked towards the old device. "Shame really, I was hoping that the White Sheet would become my partner in destruction.. Cooler! Prepare the device!"

"..."

"Cooler?"

"..."

"Uh? What are you doing?"

"I'm afraid I cannot let you fire the device, Cell..." Cooler glared as he entered the room. "For you see, I am working for Janemba!"

"How is that even possible?" Cell asked as he inched his way over to the Hyper-Death Ray. "All he ever says is nonsensical laughter. Even Brolly has a bigger vocabulary than him!"

"KAKAROTTO!"

"Shut up Brolly!" Cell screamed towards a room to his left. "Anyway, how can you be working for someone who can't even give orders?"

"That's not the full version of Janemba. That's only his evil, twisted side. The side of him containing all the intelligence is trapped away on Earth. Why else do you think we would attack it?"

"Because he's an idiot?"

"Well, there's that... but he also looking for his other half!"

"And where is it?"

"In a pub in Sussex."

"That's a very poor hiding place."

"Not if you're an alchoholic.."

"True." Cell nodded. "So what happens now?"

"Well now I---"

"I'll tell you!" Cell laughed as he teleported over to the Hyper-Death Ray and aimed it at Cooler. "You die!"

"Ah figs.." Cooler sighed as he was instantly vaporised.

Cell looked around the room to make sure Cooler wasn't hiding behind any clouds of dust, just waiting to appear dramatically after someone claims that he is finally defeated. "No one there. I guess it's time to head to Sussex!"

.-.

"So will you pass me the wallet?" The Muffin asked. "Or do I have to kill you like I have done to so many others?"

"Well I don't have any choice do I?" Frieza sighed and tossed the wallet to the Muffin.

"Haha! Excellent!"

"So what do I get in return?"

"You get a laser beam through the heart!"

"But I have serveral hearts..."

"Okay. A beam through the brain."

"I have several of those as well."

"Fine.. A laser through the privates!"

"I have severa--"

"DON'T WANT TO KNOW!" The Muffin violently shuddered and just decided to fire a Super Kamehameha at Frieza. It didn't kill him though.. but it did send him flying through a few mountains. This trend in mountain collapsing and exploding was really confusing the geologists of Earth. It has been going on for over a decade now. But they had come up with all sorts of reasons to tell the public, but in the end they just said it was a really big buffalo causing it. No one really believed them, but then again, they didn't want to run the risk of being wrong and end up being crushed by the buffalo if it did actually exist.

.-.

"Okay!" Goku nodded. "You go take care of Frieza and I'll find a way to stop Janemba!"

"No! I want to kill Frieza!"

"..I.. just said you could, Vegeta."

"Oh, you did?"

"Yup."

"Sorry, I'm just used to disagreeing with you so I fulfill my own selfish desires."

"Don't worry. Happens to the best of us... except Me.. and Gohan, Piccolo.. Krillin... Tenshinhan.. Yemma.. Kaioshin.. Kibito... oh, and Babidi."

"Who?"

"Some sort of pickle creature."

"Oh, Piccolo's brother!" Vegeta nodded.

"Well, not exactly.. Anyway, we should get going." Goku said before nibbling a bit more on his arm.

"Stop that!"

"I can't.. I'm too tasty! I'm going to get some bread and a fork before I fight Janemba. Seeya!"

"You're an idiot.." Vegeta sighed as he watched Goku fly off towards West City. "Well what else could possibly go wrong?"

.-.

"Captain Sassypants!" A soldier called out as he burst into a room. "You've overloaded the computer brain!"

"Oh no.. what have I done!" The captain gasped.

"You've doomed not only this planet but the entire Solar System!"

"I can blow that up you know!" A voice called out. "I am perfect!"

"Well that was odd.." The soldier scratched his head.

And then the entire planet exploded in a violent hellfire and took out every planet in their Solar System. Killing trillions of innocent people. Tra la la

.-.

"What was that?" Vegeta questioned as he saw a small spark appear in the sky. "Eh, who cares."

"He...lp... me!" A voice called out from beneath Vegeta's feet.

"Oh no! It's the ghost on Nappa come to finish me off! Aiee!" Vegeta screamed as he darted behind a rock.

"Ugh!" Frieza gasped as he burst out of the pile of rocks. "Finally! Hmm.. could of sworn I heard someone up here."

"You'll not fool me, ghost of Nappa! Prepare to feel my terrible wrath!" Vegeta hollered as he leapt out from behind the rock and tossed a pebble and Frieza. "Take that, vile fiend!"

"Hey.." Frieza muttered as he saw the pebble bounce off his arm. "Quit it!"

"Aha! A weakness! TOSS RANDOM PEBBLE ATTACK!"

"Who's doing that? Stop it!"

"Dear God, Nappa has gotten more hideous over the years!"

"What? I'm not Nappa.." Frieza sighed as he turned around, looked at Vegeta and gasped. "YOU!"

"Frieza!.. Excellent, now it is time to have my revenge!" Vegeta smiled as he turned Super Saiyan.

"W-w-wait a second! I need your help!"

"HA! You need my help?"

"Yes."

"Well, it is what you said.." Vegeta pondered on this for a second before sitting down on a rock. "Okay, what do you need help with?"

"The Muffin! He's going to turn into his true form that Dr. Gero created for him!"

"A Muffin?" The Saiyan Prince raised an eyebrow.

"It's true! I... I need your help to kill him!"

"Why don't I just kill you and him?"

"Because that would be mean!"

"Yes. Yes it would."

"And you couldn't do it alone!"

"Watch me!"

"Vegeta!" Frieza screamed. "As mush as I would love to see you get your arse handed to you.. again. The Universe is doomed without us teaming together and destroying the Muffin!"

"Why do you care? Your goal was the destroy the damn thing anyway!"

"B-Because.."

"Yes."

"The truth is.."

"Out with it, already!"

"I.. actually.. like.. Earth."

"Oh." Vegeta's expression turned blank. "Excuse me for a moment."

"Okay?"

"Won't be long." Vegeta waved as he went behind a group of rocks.

"Oh. Take your time.. I guess."

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!" Vegeta roared from behind the rocks. "OH GOD! WHAT A CLASSIC! HAHAHAHAHAA! AAAAHAHAHAHAA!"

"Are you quite done?"

"HAHAHAhhaaa.. Oh God.." Vegeta appeared back from behing the rocks, wiping away a tear from his eye. "Hahaha!.. Man, what a riot!"

.-.

"Is that all, sir?"

"Oh! And some mayonnaise!" Goku smiled

"Would you like Kraft Mayonnaise or the new Lmaonaise?"

"Both!"

"Wow, you sure have a lot of bread there. What do you need it for?"

"Lunch!"

"What are you going to put in it all?" The clerk asked.

"Me!" Goku laughed as he took another bite out of himself.

"Uhhh.."

"Oh! Look at the time!" Goku gasped.

"Okay then!" The clerk cheered and stared towards the clock above him. "Oooh!'

"That's not what I me-- Oh well. Bye!" Goku waved as he quickly darted out of the store. "I have a world to savemmmch, man I taste good!"

.-.

"Excuse me.." Cell asked he calmly walked through a bar door. "Is anyone here called Janemba?"

"I dare say I am old sport!" A man called out from the back.

"You're Janemba!"

"Why wouldn't I be?" A fourty year old British man, wearing a monocle and top hat asked. "Are there any other Janembas traversing about out there?"

"Well now that you mention it.."

.-.

"Janemba!" Goku called out between mouthfuls of himself as he floated above West City.

"KAKAKAEEEHAHAHAHAAA!" The demon cackled as he floated up to meet the Saiyan.

"Why are you doing all of this?"

"KAKAKAKAKAHAHAHAAAAAHEAA!"

"Could you repeat that?"

"Ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-aha-ha-ha-haaaaa-he-aah!" Janemba murmered slowly.

"What! Timmy is trapped down the well?" Goku gasped.

"Keah?"

"There is no time to lose! C'mon!" Goku grabbed Janemba by the arm and flung him across the sky. "Lead the way, boy!"

"Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

"What did you say about my mother!" Goku fumed as he transformed into Super Saiyan 3. "It's on now, laddie!"

"KaaaaaaARGH!" Janemba screamed as he finally fell from the sky and into a house full of rusty knives. As, you know, that's what most people fill their houses with these days. Oh cultural trends, what wont you think up of.. Hahaha!

I'll shut up now..

.-.

"I can't belive I'm doing this.." Vegeta sighed as he and Frieza his among some rocks at the Muffin floated past.. looking a lot less like a Muffin now.

"My God, he's hideous now!" Frieza gasped in horror. "See what I meant when I said we would have to work together?"

"Shut up and distract him while I power up" Vegeta snapped. Frieza quickly nodded and flew off towards the creature.

"Hey! Muffin!" Frieza called out. "Wait.. that sounded wrong.."

"I am not a Muffin anymore! I am the Super 3000 Dishwasher Deluxe!" The Dishwasher laughed evily as he started crackling with electricity. "Prepare for your death!"

"Wait.. I have a joke I need to tell you!"

"Oh, I love jokes!" The Dishwasher smiled.. in the way that most Dishwashers do. I don't know how exactly, just go with it!

"Okay.. so what to you get when you cross Vegeta with a Death Beam?"

"I can honestly say I do not know."

"A DEAD VEGETA! HAHAHA! GET IT!.. It's funny because that's how I killed him. Hahaha!"

"Get a job!" Vegeta yelled out from below.

"Shut up, monkey!"

".. I don't get it..." The Dishwasher shrugged.

"Done!" Vegeta cried in triumph.

"Well fire it already!" Frieza yelled as he quickly flew away.

"BIG BANG ATTACK!"

"FOOL!" The Dishwasher laughed as he opened up the wallet. "Protect me, o' master of the movie coupons!"

"I will obey!" The giant demon said as he appeared suddenly and deflected the Big Bang Attack, which flew into space and collided with something off-screen, making it explode.

"Oh.. no..." Vegeta backed away in fear. "...KITTENS!"