Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans


And So It Is

Chapter 8

I opened my eyes and immediately wished I hadn't. It was too bright and I was too dizzy. I sat up and looked around. My bedroom was a mess, littered with half smoked cigarettes and empty bottles of Grey Goose, that I lived on for the past 5 days. I looked at the clock on the night stand. It's red lights blinked 2:47 p.m. Lovely, but why couldn't I sleep the whole day away? After sitting there for ten minutes, the overwhelming urge to piss like a race horse overcame me and I quickly jumped out of bed, a little too fast for my equilibrium, and barely made it to the bathroom.

I stared at myself in the mirror. Dark circles under my eyes, tangles in my hair, make up smeared on my face. I looked wretched and I felt even worse. It was December 30th. Tomorrow Rachel was throwing a kick ass New Years party, and I was expected to attend. Everything seemed to be a blur, all that has happened. He comes back out of no where, turns my life completely upside down, and then proposes to that bitch of a girlfriend.. who isn't really a bitch at all. She is beautiful, and sweet, and although she backed me into a corner and told me to stay away from Richard.. I can't blame her. I would do the same thing. She's one of those people that you wanna hate so bad, but they are nice so you can't.. but that makes you hate them even more.

I turned on the water to the bath, hoping to wash away all this filth and dirtiness I felt. I was disgusted with myself over everything. How could I let everything get so out of control like this? After the incident on Christmas, I locked myself in my bedroom and went on a downward spiral of self destruction. I drank so much, I'm turning into a damn lush. I know for a fact that if my parents found out how much I have been drinking, I would be on the first plane out to the Betty Ford Clinic.

I stepped into the steaming water and sat down. I love when the water is so damn hot that you get goosebumps. That is the absolute best. I closed my eyes and relaxed. I needed to do some serious re-evaluating of my life. I can't keep letting that bastard drag me down. Millions of girls before me had their hearts broken and millions of girls after me will have their hearts broken. I need to blow him off completely and learn to be just friends with him. Everything is so crazy now and feeling sorry for myself is only going to make things worse. But one last goodbye fuck never hurt anybody right?

I shook my head. God damn me and my hentai mind. I fucking swear. I shampooed my hair and stared at my empty, ring less fingers. I can't believe I threw that ring at him. I laughed a little at the memory. The look on his face was priceless and Xavier was just as shocked. Fuck! Xavier, I like completely forgot about him. He probably thinks me some sort of whore. Damn. Well, at least I saved him the pain of getting hurt. Yeah fucking right, he said he loved me. Was he serious? I had no clue. But, maybe all wasn't lost.

I grabbed my cellphone that was resting on the side of the tub. I flipped it open and quickly found Xavier's cell number. I dialed it and waited for him to pick up, hoping he would pick up.

"Hello?" An agitated female voice said. I smirked... Kitten. I knew her whiny ass voice anywhere.

"Kitten darling, it's Kori Anders. How are you?"

"I'm wonderful!" She said, in an all too cheery voice. I could hear some shuffling in the background and running water.

"That's excellent. Well, sweetie I was wondering if I could speak to Xavier. It is of upmost importance." I made my voice sugary sweet, just to piss her off.

"Well, Kori.. he is rather indisposed at the moment. Showering after our passionate love making." I could feel her smiling triumphantly. I was a little bothered by the fact that he slept with her, but hey, who was I to say shit?

"Awww," I faked sympathy, "Don't be upset that he's trying to wash off the stench, known as you, as quickly as possible. Some men just can't handle intense body odor."

"You bitch!" She shrieked and I couldn't help but smile, "How dare you say such things about me! Who the hell do you think you are?" I heard Xavier's voice in the background, but was unable to decipher what he was saying.

"Tisk. Tisk, Kitten. You wouldn't want Xavier to see you all flustered. Now be a good girl and give him the phone."

I heard her begin to protest as the phone was yanked away from her. I smiled when I heard his smooth silky voice filter over the phone. "Hey Baby. How are you feeling?"

I smiled, "Better, now that I am talking to you. But honestly, Xavier. I really need to speak with you."

"Okay. How about dinner tonight?" His voice sounded oddly hopeful. I expected him to be angry, not somewhat happy.

"That would be nice."

"Good Baby. I'll pick you up at seven."

"Bye Xavier."

"Bye Princess."

Now to get rid of this horrible headache.

"I brought you a gift."

I nearly jumped out of my skin. I quickly turned around to look over Xavier, who was casually leaning against the doorway; Deja Vu. He was so very handsome in his black Armani suit, it almost looked as if he just came from the office. Which is bullshit unless Kitten is considered the office. I smiled brightly at him and he gave me a dazzling smile in return.

I stood from my vanity and slowly walked over to him, "You're early."

"Maybe." He said nonchalantly as his eyes roamed over my scantily clad body. I wasn't expecting him so early and was only dressed in a pair of lacy boy shorts with a matching bra. Originally, I wasn't planning on any sexual activity any time soon, but just the way he is staring at me is enough to turn any girl on.

I unconsciously licked my lips, "So, another gift? You really spoil me."

He arched a brow. FUCK RICHARD AND THE EYEBROW ARCHERS. I swear Richard must of talked about me in college, he must have told Xavier what gets me hot. "All princesses deserve to be spoiled, and you, my love, are no exception."

He held out a large box wrapped in shiny silver paper. The wrapping was so exquisite I was almost afraid to open it. I smiled at him and graciously took the box and set it on my bed. I slowly untied the large bow and removed the lid off the box. My eyes went wide.

"Wow." Was all I could muster, as I pulled out the floor length, white rabbit fur coat. I was strictly against the cruelty of animals and fur and all of those things, but I was also one to never turn away a gift. I ran my fingers over the softness of the fur. Gorgeous.

I felt his hands brush my hair to the side as he pulled me back against his hard chest. He left little wet kisses along my neck and shoulder. "Do you like it?"

"I love it." I breathed and closed my eyes. His tongue was working magic on my neck and being so close to his body was just.. wow. His hands slowly slid around to my stomach and his fingers gently ran up and down my sides. I shivered and pressed myself further back against him.

"You smell delicious." He whispered and turned my jaw to kiss him. His lips softly brushed against mine and that's when the warning bells in my head went off. What the fuck was I doing! I quickly pulled away from him and smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry, I just.. you know. I wanted to talk to you."

"Okay Baby. I'll be downstairs while you get dressed. Don't forget your coat." He winked at me and left the room. I sighed and slumped against the wall.

What the fuck have I gotten myself into?

"Xavier.. I.. I'm really sorry about everything that happened on Christmas. I know it wasn't one of my most proud moments." I poked at my salad, not looking him in the eye.

"Kori, It's alright. You were, and apparently still are, deeply in love with Richard. I cannot expect you to just immediately drop that and fall in love with me."

"I know, but I was totally out of line. I mean, you must think I'm a total whore or something, you know? Two men in the same day. Geeze." I frowned and took a sip of my water.

He leaned over the table and took my hand in his, "Kori darling, you are gorgeous and intelligent and perfect. You are not a whore. Believe me, Richard and I have done way worse than just two women in one day. And besides, we are the only two men you've ever slept with. Don't worry so much."

I sighed and bit my lip, "Xavier.. Did you mean what you said after we had sex?"

He looked me in the eyes, "Yes. I meant it with my entire heart. I know you probably think I'm crazy because we haven't known each other.. what four or five months? But I am absolutely crazy about you. You've captivated me and I am deeply in love with you. I haven't felt this way about anyone ever. And I know you are the one for me. I don't want to scare you or anything, but please give me a chance. I know I can make you happy, truly happy."

I smiled at him, he looked so joyful. I mean, his words basically scared the shit out of me, but I didn't want to upset him or hurt him more than I already have. I squeezed his hand for reassurance and took another sip of my water.

"Would you ever want to get married?"

I almost choked. I looked at him, my eyes wide, "What?"

He grinned, "I'm not talking about right now, I mean later maybe in a few months or next year or something?"

"Where did all this come from? I mean, Have we really even established what we are? You bring me gifts, and act like my boyfriend, but I was fooling around with Richard and you are clearly sleeping with Kitten. What are we?"

"Baby relax. I know that since Richard is engaged now, he is completely out of the picture and Kitten, she was something to try and replace you.. which failed miserably I might add."

I tried to mask my frown at his words of Richard being unavailable. This was all such bullshit. I gave him a fake smile and replied, "I don't know about marriage. Everything seems so sudden. Lets just see where our relationship goes. alright?"

He smiled and we finished our dinner in light conversation, though his words kept replaying in my mind.

Marriage? Was he fucking insane?

I threw my bedroom door open and immediately started stripping off my coat and dress. It was past midnight because Xavier thought it would be romantic to take a moonlight stroll through the park. Normally I wouldn't object, but in the middle of winter in the freezing snow was not my idea of romantic. But he was so adamant about taking to stroll so I obliged him.

"Nice coat." The smooth silky voice said in the darkness. I almost jumped out of my skin and turned to see Richard standing by my window.

"Dammit Richard don't do that! I could of had a heart attack!"

"Xavier bought it for you, didn't he?"

"What is it to you?" I snapped as I kicked off my heels. He turned around and in the moonlight I could see his piercing blue eyes, looking so pained and distraught. I turned my back to him and quickly threw off my bra, and replaced it with an oversized t shirt.

"He only wants you because he knows that I do. It's always been a competition between us. You're a prize to him."

I whirled around and stared at him incredulously, "And what am I to you? The other woman? The woman good enough to fuck, but not good enough to marry? Tell me what I am!"

Without realizing what was happening, his arms were immediately wrapped around me holding me tightly against him while he left little butterfly kisses all over my forehead and cheeks. "I love you. I love you so damn much it drives me insane, and you know that's the exact reason why we can't be together. I can't control myself around you, not just sexually either. It's just I lose all control and I can't think about anything but you. Hell, even when I'm away from you, you are constantly on my mind."

"Then why can't we be together? If you are losing control anyways.. why can't we lose it together?" My voice was pleading and I knew I sounded weak.

"Because, I'm afraid. I know that once I grab ahold of you I could never let go. I'm so terrified of these feelings you ignite in me." His voice was barely above a whisper. He sounded so distraught and I felt myself getting a little angry.

"So you are really going to marry her?" It was more of a rhetorical question, but I needed to hear him answer. I closed my eyes waiting for his answer, but the answer never came. Instead his soft lips were pressed against mine in a passionate, yet demanding kiss. I opened my mouth and felt his tongue slide inside, tracing every inch of my mouth he could reach. I felt dizzy and happy from the kiss, his grip tightening on my hips and pulling me closer to him.

I snapped back to reality when I realized that he still hadn't answered my question. I quickly pulled away from him and stared at him. "No." I said quietly. I kept shaking my head and repeating the word NO. I looked into his eyes ,"You are really going to marry her." It was a statement, but this time he answered.

"Yes."

"Get Out." I turned my back to him. I could not look at him any longer. I felt myself grow sick and I knew before the night was over I would be vomiting up my dinner.

He left quickly and I knew the party was going to royally suck.

"You always throw the best parties." I whispered seductively in Rachel's ear. She immediately turned around and wrapped her arms around me, a beaming smile on her face.

"Kori! You delicious piece of ass! I'm so glad you came!" Rachel gave me a peck on the lips and a squeeze on my ass. God, I love her to death. My best friend through everything, and by her playful squeeze of my ass I knew she was already high as a kite. She quickly excused herself from Garfield's grip and dragged me to her upstairs bathroom.

"How are you holding up?" She asked as she snorted a line.

"What can I do? He wants to marry her, but he claims to love me. Your cousin has a major stick shoved up his ass. What is it with this 'control' business?"

Rachel shrugged, "I don't know. But that Babs girl isn't good for him. He doesn't love her and although she seems to love him, I think she is more in it for the fame and money. I mean, marrying Gotham's biggest and most well known bachelor. She'll be the center of high society for years."

I took the rolled up hundred from Rachel and proceeded to snort a few lines, trying to clear my head of all these depressing thoughts. "I'm gonna get so fucked up, I won't remember anything of tonight."

Rachel giggled, "Geeze Kori we are bad. Getting all high and everything. That can't be good for us. If Richard saw you high, he would be livid. And Xavier, I don't know. Didn't you say he was fucking Kitten?"

I snorted a few more lines and then dabbed my nose with a tissue, "Yeah, but the crazy thing is.. last night at dinner, he was talking to me about marriage and how he knows I'm the one or something. I don't know, but he definitely scared the shit out of me."

Rachel laughed and tugged at my arm, pulling me out of the bathroom and back towards the party. I was high and in a fantastic mood. I saw Babs by the bar sipping some sort of drink and I slowly pushed through the crowds of people to get to her.

"Enjoying the party?" I asked, a little too upbeat.

"Kori," She looked uncomfortable and shifted nervously, "Hi. Um, yeah it isn't bad."

I smiled brightly at her, "Well, you are gonna be Mr. Richard Grayson! You better get used to these parties along with tons of high society charity events and balls."

She smiled awkwardly at me and nodded. I could feel the tension rolling off her in waves and for some reason, I wanted her to relax. It must have been the coke.

"I'm sorry about Christmas, how I totally flipped." I said quietly.

"Oh. It's alright. I'm sorry too. I don't know, it's all rather awkward."

"Let me make it up to you. I want to throw you and Richard an engagement party." Once the words left my mouth, I instantly regretted it.

"Really?" Her eyes sparkled with excitement and I wondered what the fuck was wrong with me to offer that type of shit to someone I despised.

"Yes, really." What the fuck is wrong with me! I can't keep my fucking mouth shut. Definitely the coke.

"Oh my god. You are wonderful!" She screeched and threw her arms around me in a tight embrace. I frowned at how easily this girl could make me dislike her. She was going to marry the man I have been in love with for years. But here I was returning a fake smile and telling her I'd call her later in the week with plans.

Midnight was rapidly approaching, but I wasn't much in the mood to celebrate. I could barely function being drunk and coked out of my mind. I stumbled onto the balcony and leaned against the railing, watching the stars in the sky and some fireworks from far away. After what seemed like an eternity, I could hear the drunken people inside begin to countdown. The clock struck midnight and everyone was screaming Happy New Year. I heard the doors to the balcony open, but I didn't turn around. The clock was still chiming and people were kissing each other and celebrating, their cheers never dying down.

I was quickly turned around and before I could register what was happening, I was being kissed by soft, sweet lips. Our tongues combined and our bodies pushed closer together. My arms wrapped around his neck, while my fingers slowly ran through his lush hair. I heard him groan against me and pull me tighter against him so I could feel his hardness through his pants. I reveled in his taste, his hands, his body.. everything. We slowly broke the kiss and after a minute I opened my eyes to see who my mysterious kisser was. My breath caught in my throat.

"Richard.."