Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans
And So It Is
Chapter 10
"Damn It." I tossed the vanilla flavored lip gloss against the vanity mirror. I was frustrated, beyond frustrated. I was angry, upset, hurt, and bitter.. very bitter. I gently massaged my forehead, trying to get rid of the migraine I had for the last two weeks. Ever since the news of their impending 'arrival' I've had migraine so intense I've thrown up and even passed out a few times. I looked at myself in the mirror. Despite the lack of sleep and the weight of the stress of everything, I looked damn good. My make up was clean and simple, revealing the natural beauty I possess. My hair was up in an intricate bun with a few tendrils framing my face. My gown for the evening was an off white Valentino original, strapless and very form fitting. It could almost look like a wedding dress except for the fact that I'm wearing it and it will be a hell of a long ass time before I get married.
I glanced over at the clock. 9:32 p.m. The guests have been here for over an hour and I have yet to make an appearance. Which is rather rude, considering I am the hostess. Mandy and Rachel have been complete sweethearts and have been greeting the guests as they arrive, giving them some bullshit excuse that I am still taking care of some business. I just feel so weak. Me and my stupid mouth, while high and drunk no less, offered to throw this fucking engagement party. How stupid am I? After I realized what I had done, I decided my New Years Resolution would be to give up drugs and alcohol, at least for the year... or six months... or however long I can last. I bit my lip and looked at my reflection again. I can't face him. I can't.. I know I'll just breakdown and I mean... damn.
"Babs has been asking about you." I glanced at the mirror and I saw Rachel leaning against the doorframe, a sad smile on her beautiful face. I nodded my head and stood up. Now it was time to place the happy mask on my face and act as if nothing is wrong, and everything is how it should be.
"That dress is gorgeous. You look like a goddess." She grabbed my hand as we started walking towards the stairs.
"Darling, I am a goddess." I winked at her and squeezed her hand. She giggled a little and we made our way into the crowds of people.
Almost immediately after we started mingling among the guests I was swept away and into strong, warm arms. Xavier. I felt terrible for neglecting him, but what was I supposed to do? I was torn and twisted and basically completely fucked up inside. I felt his hot breath on my neck and shivered as he spoke, "You look good enough to eat."
I smiled and turned around in his arms to face him, "Xavier. My aren't you the eye catcher." And he was. All of the women, who could no longer swoon over Richard because of the fact he knocked up his bitch of a fiancée, had their eyes locked on him. Xavier looked so handsome and delicious in his black on black tuxedo. Absolutely handsome.
He gave me a heartwarming smile, "I haven't seen much of you lately, which isn't too good considering you are my girlfriend." I could feel the smile slipping from my face, and I looked at him seriously.
"I really need to speak with you."
Although his smile never faltered, I could see the concern in his eyes. He nodded and said, "Later, when the party begins to die down."
Xavier held me by my waist as we made our rounds around the party, greeting guests and pretending to be interested in what they had to say. As we made our way towards a table, my stomach felt like lead. Sitting at the table was Richard and Babs. Richard was staring at us, his gaze drifting from Xavier's arm around my waist to my eyes. He looked like he wanted to skin him alive. Babs was sipping water and talking about something that Richard obviously wasn't paying any attention to.
"The couple of the hour!" Xavier said a little to cheerfully, even though him and Richard were sending each other death glares.
Babs saw me and immediately stood up and embraced me, "Oh Kori. This is wonderful. This party is absolutely fantastic. You are brilliant, wonderful!"
"Damn right she is." Xavier said and kissed my temple. I noticed Richard was clenching his fists. Normally, I would get a sense of satisfaction from this, but now all I felt was sick. He was supposed to be mine, he was going to be mine.. but shit happens and not everything is how it should be.
I said a quiet hello to Richard and he nodded his head in return. I sat down next to him and tried to make polite conversation. Xavier left to go talk to some other big corporate players and Babs excused herself to the restroom. Richard and I sat in silence, neither of us making eye contact.
"I'm sorry." It was a quiet whisper, but I heard it. I reached my hand under the table and grabbed his, locking our fingers together.
"You have nothing to be sorry for. This is a wonderful thing. You are engaged and going to be a daddy." I squeezed his hand and tried to sound happy, but I was failing miserably. He looked at me then, his gorgeous blue eyes filled with sadness and longing. I hugged him tightly, I wasn't concerned with what people would see or think, I had to comfort him. I loved him no matter how many times I tried to tell myself I shouldn't, or it was over, or it is wrong. When you love someone there is nothing you can do about it.
I watched him pull off his jacket and drape it over the chair. I bit my lip and crossed my legs, trying to get more comfortable on his leather sofa. I was nervous, but he needed to know the truth. I didn't want to hurt him, but if he found out from someone else he would be crushed. I watched as he removed his tie and proceeded to unbutton his shirt. The taut muscles of his chest distracted me. Xavier was incredibly gorgeous and his body was amazing. My lips were suddenly very dry and I found myself repeatedly licking them, trying to find the moisture that simply seemed to vanish.
He sat down next to me, "You wanted to talk princess?"
I tried to smile. I'll just get it out, "On New Years I was with Richard."
"I know." His eyes never left mine, but he didn't seem angry.
"I'm sorry. We.. I.. We made love many many many times that night and I feel awful for doing that to you. I mean I'm a horrible person." I was starting to ramble, but he placed his hand on my knee to silence me.
"You love him. I can't expect any less from you. I am a little angry, especially at him for toying with your emotions, but I understand." We sat in silence for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only maybe ten minutes at the most. I wasn't sure what to do. I was brought out of my thoughts with Xavier's next question.
"Will you still be with me?" His voice was quiet, but he looked so dejected. I smiled at him and nodded. He wrapped me up in his arms and kissed me fiercely. His lips and tongue were so soft and warm, I felt so much love from him in that kiss. I felt awful knowing I didn't love him back, but maybe eventually I could. I felt his fingers fumble for the zipper of my dress and I pulled back from him. He gave me a questioning look and I smiled sheepishly.
"Can we take things slow?" I was hesitant and though we already had sex once, we were starting anew. And anyone can tell you that sex makes things more complicated than they need to be.
He smiled brilliantly and nodded, "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."
"No, you didn't. I just don't want things to get more complicated and we are starting over." I kissed his lips softly, to wash away any doubts he might have had about my feelings. I didn't want him to feel insecure. I stood up, preparing to leave for the night when I felt his hand around my wrist.
"Stay with me tonight?" He asked it so innocently. I nodded and followed him into the bedroom, though we wouldn't be having sex.. it is nice to be held.
I felt warm kisses on my neck. "Wake up Princess."
"No," I mumbled and tried to roll over, "It's early."
He gently bit my neck, "Rachel is gonna be here soon. You guys are gonna go jogging and out to breakfast remember?"
"What time is it?"
"7:45." He whispered, his hot breath felt wonderful against my ear. I reluctantly sat up and rubbed my eyes. It had been two months since the engagement party, two months since Xavier and I decided to start over. A little over two months since I had sex. Xavier and I were still taking it slow, but he wasn't pressuring me or anything. He was quite the gentleman. Besides kisses and some oral sex, we didn't do anything. I had been spending most of my time at Xavier's house. I practically lived there. He spoiled me beyond belief and worshipped me to no end. But I couldn't deny that I missed Richard with every fiber of my being.
I quickly brushed teeth, put my hair in a pony tail. I put on my pink Nike jogging suit and met Rachel in the drive. I hadn't been feeling to well. My period was going to start within the next few days, but I cannot remember a time when my cramps were this bad. My left ovary felt like it was being ripped apart. Rachel and I went jogging for a good hour until I had to stop because of the sharp shooting pain.
"My fucking god, It's like I'm being ripped apart." I almost wanted to cry. Rachel looked concerned and grabbed my arm.
"Come on. We're going to see Dr. Morgan."
I stared at the different posters of birth control on the wall. They had ran some tests and now had me waiting for the last 45 minutes. Rachel was in the waiting room, and Xavier probably was too, considering Rachel insisted on calling him. I frowned. What if I had cervical cancer? Mandy had it once but they were able to catch it in time and freeze the cancerous cells off of her cervix. My aunt had it too. They also caught it in time. I was really scared now.. I didn't want cancer.
Dr. Morgan walked in the room and looked at me, "Are you alright Kori? You look pale."
"Am I dying?" I asked her seriously. She chuckled and shook her head.
"No Kori, but we are concerned. It's not too common, but your mother was the same way with you."
I was confused. I had no idea what she was talking about. She rambled on a little bit more and I was barely listening until she said congratulations.
"What for?" I asked, extremely curious.
"You are about 10 weeks pregnant. It's hard to get a specific age on the baby when it is so early in the pregnancy, but I would say about 10 weeks."
I froze. I felt like I was going to pass out. She looked concerned and grabbed my hand, "Kori are you alright? You need to be careful. You have an extremely high risk pregnancy, with all the headaches and stress, even the fainting. You could possibly lose this baby. You need to relax."
I nodded and took deep calming breaths. I was pregnant.. with Richard's baby, who was engaged to Babs... who also was pregnant with his baby. She was a good month and a half farther along than I was. I could feel my palms sweating and my heart was beating rapidly.
"How long til I show?" I asked quietly.
"No need to worry about your amazing figure. If you are anything like the other women in your family you will almost immediately return to normal after your child is born. You are a little over two months, almost three. Women do not begin to show until the end of their fourth month, beginning of the fifth. You still have almost two months." She continued talking, but I didn't listen. I was terrified, but extremely happy. I was going to have a baby.. Richard's baby. I always dreamed of having his children, it's all I ever wanted. Two months until I began showing. Two months until I had to get the fuck out of Gotham...
and as far away from Richard Grayson as possible.
