Star Wars does not belong to me. Just Skylar & Co.
Big thanks to LongLiveTheClones and Delta808th for reviewing! Don't forget to leave a review if you'd like a sneak peek for the next chapter! :)
And Ahsoka wasn't buying it. Rex knew because of the look that she was giving him. The look the young Togruta usually had when she knew that you were deliberately not being truthful. Of course, the expression had never been directed at him before...
"Rex, I know that you're confused about something. I can help you, you know that." He didn't doubt her willingness, but what he was confused about was entirely new territory for the both of them. Not exactly new, just... I've never actually talked about it with anyone before. Except for Cut, of course.
In his discussions with his deserter brother, the two of them had briefly mentioned Rex's possible future children. And, over the months since Saleucami, Rex had found himself wishing for that day. A day when he could hold his own firstborn, a baby with brown eyes. Lately, the vision had changed to include the youngling having sienna skin... He shook his head, but there was no denying it. He officially had what was referred to in the holodramas as a 'crush'. That doesn't seem to be the right word for it, though. More like, well, a bond. But stronger, in a way. At least for him.
He was brought out of his thoughts by Ahsoka resting the palm of her right hand lightly on the side of his face. She's never been this informal before... "It's Umbara, isn't it, Rex? None of that was your fault, Rexie. It was all Krell, not you." Rexie. She hasn't called me that in a long time. His commander's bright blue eyes burned with sympathy and Rex found himself grateful, not for the first time and certainly not the last, that she'd been assigned to General Skywalker, to the 501st. Beginning with Slick's betrayal and ending with the former Besalisk General's rampage, Rex had found it increasingly hard to find the complete trust that he used to have in all of his brothers and the Jedi. Aside from a handful of brothers and maybe Generals Skywalker and Kenobi, Ahsoka was one of the very few who he trusted implicitly. She'd saved him more times that he'd saved her.
"No, Commander, it's not. Not this time," he answered, reaching up to cup her hand to his cheek. Her fingers were cool to the touch, but the feeling gave him an unexplainable sensation of warmth. Surety. Something that he'd craved for a long time. Ever since he'd been shot on Saleucami, actually. He took a deep breath, not quite knowing where he should start.
She pulled her hand away, the stripes of her montrals darkening in the Togrutan equivalent of a blush. She jerked her head toward the corner table that they often shared meals at and he followed her. Instead of sitting across from him, like she usually did, she sat next to him. Close enough that her upper arm was brushing against his. He could feel her cool skin through the sleeve of his fatigues.
They sat quietly for several minutes, neither one speaking or looking at each other. Just enjoying the peace. And Rex found it strange that he could only do so when she was with him. There was hardly any peace at all for him when he was alone in his own quarters. Bunking with the rest of the men of Torrent Company helped somewhat, but the vicinity of his brothers never could completely chase the bad memories away. Not like the presence of a certain Togruta beauty sitting right next to him could... Stop right there, Rex. She's a Jedi and you're a soldier. You both have jobs to do. Besides, who's ever heard of a Human/Togruta couple anyway?
She shifted uncertainly and that was when he realized that he wasn't the only one whose mind wouldn't allow him to sleep tonight, "Something wrong, sir?" Here I am, thinking about me. Ahsoka's not the only one who's confused by... relationships. That Bonteri boy... He's a good kid, but he's been toying with her too much for my liking... That may not have been what was bothering her, but he still needed to take that into account if he truly cared for her.
Ahsoka looked up and met his eyes, rolling her own, "Ahsoka, Rex. Would it kill you to call me by my name and not my title?" She didn't say that, until recently, he was well-known for occasionally calling her by her first name.
"It might, sir," he answered with a smirk causing her to stick her tongue out at him playfully. She doesn't need to know that I've stopped calling her by her name because of my feelings for her. Which were growing stronger no matter what. And he realized that, now, he actually was beginning to get tired of trying to suppress them.
The Togruta folded her arms and gave him her 'I'm-not-budging-so-you-might-as-well-get-on-with-it' look, "As to what's wrong, Rexter, I believe that I asked first."
He would have chuckled, but this topic was too serious for that, "Have you ever thought..." Rex trailed off, shaking his head, "Nevermind, Kid. It's not important."
"It is to me, why else would I be up and badgering you about it when I could be getting a full night's sleep?" she teased. "Have I ever thought... what?"
"Ahsoka, do you remember when we met Master Altis and his followers?"
She nodded, her face growing thoughtful. That had been an 'enlightening' experience for the both of them. Slowly, she nodded again, "I remember. What about them?"
"Have you... What I mean to say is-"
"You've been thinking about what it would be like to, someday, have a family of your own, haven't you?"
He flushed, turning his gaze from her, "Yeah."
"Is this because of Sergeant Cordav's pregnancy?" Rex almost gave himself away right then. He hadn't expected her to know of the Mando woman's condition. To all the men that knew her, Skylar was considered a clone in all but name. And clones usually preferred not to broadcast their personal lives. Like me keeping Cut's existence a secret. He felt guilty about that, but immediately pushed the feeling away. Cut was where he needed to be. And Rex wasn't about to tear any of his brothers from their families. I really shouldn't have lectured Fives earlier. It wasn't my place and he was right. If there was something he'd learned over the course of the war, it was that not all orders were right.
Ahsoka must have sensed his astonishment that she knew, "I overheard Master Kenobi and Master Zey talking about it." Of course, I forgot that Sky had to go through General Zey to get her leave. "Apparently, Master Obi-Wan had sensed it when he debriefed the sergeant after her mission to Florrum." She shivered as she mentioned the planet's name. "If I see that planet and those pirates again, it will be too soon..."
Rex nodded, remembering her telling him about her chaperoning mission to Ilum that she'd only just returned from. He remembered how frustrated he'd felt when she'd told him that she'd been captured by Ohnaka and his men. But he made himself re-focus on their discussion, "Sky's condition is part of it. I've... well, I've actually been thinking about for a long time. Before we met her."
"Maybe when the war's over then? I can be the fun aunt that your kids just love," she finished with a playful smirk.
That's not exactly what I was thinking... But Rex laughed anyway, to keep her from seeing how downcast her words made him, "Fun? I'd say a better word is 'annoying'."
She childishly stuck her tongue out at him again and he chuckled. But he still wasn't too happy with the direction that their conversation hadn't gone...
Kot, laying on a pallet on the living room floor, looked up to the couch and breathed a sigh of relief. She's asleep. Thank the Force.
To say that Zephyr had been jumpy most of the night would be an understatement. She'd been completely terrified. The Wroonian girl hadn't released his elbow all through the introductions. Kot had at first thought that Skylar should have taken her time to introduce Zephyr to Gabe, Deena, the girls, and the rest of Beta, but he realized that it was probably for the best that his sister had done it her way. Better that Zephyr knows who's here right away than to be 'ambushed' by them in the morning.
What the commando still couldn't wrap his head around was the fact that Zephyr had hardly let him out of her sight. When Sky had suggested that she sleep in Tea's room by herself, the Wroonian girl had frantically shaken her head and clung to him tighter. But as soon as the others had headed upstairs to their own beds, Zephyr had immediately pulled herself away from him. Either she trusts me and doesn't want to admit it, or she's more scared of everyone else than she is of me.
Kot started to pull himself up, but was immediately stopped before he could stand by a hand on his stub of an arm. Zephyr, now dressed in some of Sky's clothes, looked up at him with wide yellow eyes as she jerked her hand away, as if he'd electrocuted her. "You're not leaving, are you?" she asked in a shaky whisper.
He sighed, settling back down on the floor, this time in a sitting position, "No. I was trying to go use the 'fresher, Zeph."
If she didn't like the nickname, she didn't show any sign of it. "Oh," she responded, her voice sounding even smaller. "Sorry."
He ran a hand through his short black curls, hating how harshly he had responded to her. It wasn't her fault that he hadn't been getting much sleep lately. He softened his own voice, aiming for the tone that Sky had used to convince him to put down that blaster so many months ago and hoping to the manda that he was getting it right, "There's nothing to be sorry for, Zephyr. None of this is your fault."
Zephyr sat up, curling herself protectively around the baby in her womb as she pressed herself into the corner of the couch. But she wasn't responding to him. He could tell by the unfocused glaze to her golden yellow eyes that her mind was far away, most likely thinking of her tormentors. Slowly, so as not to startle her, he pulled himself up onto the other end of the sofa.
"But it is..." Zephyr started softly, breaking the silence after several minutes. He opened his mouth to contradict her, but she kept going, her gaze focusing on the wall across from them. "Th-the," she cleared her throat, starting over, "I shouldn't have stayed there. As soon as I found out what Gaon's really was, I should have left. But I didn't."
She rubbed both palms on her belly, "And when I found out that I was... I knew I couldn't stay because of the... because of the baby. But I went back anyway."
Carefully, Kot reached his hand out to put comforting hand on her shoulder. She flinched, but relaxed quicker than she had earlier. Her gaze met his. "It's not your fault, Zephyr. You were scared. And you yourself said that you don't have any family. Where else could you go? I just wish I could have helped you sooner..."
"They'd already... used me before you-"
Kot shook his head, "By sooner, I meant before any of it happened to you. I guess I have to be content with the fact that you and your baby are safe now."
Zephyr started to hyperventilate and Kot pulled his arm back, thinking that he'd done something wrong, that he'd managed to unintentionally scare his new friend. But that wasn't the case... "Oh F-force, Kot. A baby. I'm n-not ready, I can't do this." Tears trailed down her cheeks and Kot immediately hurt for her, even if he still didn't completely understand what she was so scared about. "I can't be a m-mother. I didn't ask for th-this, I'm only s-sixteen," she finished, dissolving into tears.
Sixteen?! She was as young as he'd originally thought. And that made him furious. I've got to keep a lid on it, for her sake. If Zephyr sees me angry one time, then it's back to square one.
She hiccuped, trying to gain control of herself, but only succeeding in making herself cry harder. And Kot was at a complete loss. The only person he'd comforted who'd been this hysterical was Skylar. This is different though, Zephyr's not my sister. He reached over and awkwardly started patting her back gently. It seemed to help, but only a little. If it had been Skylar sitting next to him, he would already be holding her. But that kind of contact will only scare Zephyr more.
"You're not alone, Zeph. I'm not going anywhere for a while," he added, holding up the stub of his left forearm in an effort to lighten the mood. As soon as he said that, he couldn't help but feel like he was floundering.
But it worked. She actually smiled at him. It was a small, watery smile, but a smile nonetheless. Thank the manda.
manda = heaven
Please R&R.
