Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls
"Oh my god" Rory yelled. Andrew and Jess ran over to see what was wrong with her. She was laughing and had a book in her hand. Jess carefully pulled the book out of her grasp then dropped it.
"That's my book" he whispered.
"It is did you leave it here" Andrew asked as he picked up the book.
"Oh" he exclaimed "I'll work on a display for it."
"No it's ok" Jess tried.
"Nonsense here you can take it show it to Luke and Lorelai" Andrew pushed them out the door.
Rory opened the book. There was a dedication now. It didn't used to have a dedication.
To the best meddler in the world:
Thanks for always being there doing what I don't want you to do
Love you always
She smiled brightly and slipped her hand into his leaning her head on his shoulder.
"I thought no one actually read those" he mumbled.
"I love you too"
"What about Logan"
"What about him"
"Don't you love him?"
"I love him differently"
"You mean like you love me platonically and him romantically"
"I didn't say that"
"You didn't deny it"
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Rory sat in her room. The door was locked and the windows were closed and so were the shades. She began to write about what she felt.
I love Logan really I do. Well I think I do. Logan is different or at least I thought he was. Really he's safer than I let myself believe. He's safer because no matter how many other girls he sleeps with I feel numb. The numbness is what hurts the most. The fact that I can't feel anything kills me. I should feel something. When Jess shot me that pained look after I didn't deny loving Logan it hurt. Why didn't I deny it if I'm not sure it's true. I never used to say things unless I was absolutely positive. So why is this any different? I've said it so many times to myself and out loud. I said it to convince myself I didn't still love Jess. I wanted to believe that I wasn't the pathetic girl who pined for her high school boyfriend for 4 years, but I am. So where does Logan come into this realization. I guess nowhere. I guess that really this is just a weird instant replay of 2002-2003. This time I learned faster. This time I'll end it faster.
Rory grabbed her sidekick and looked at it. Did she really want to call Logan? She knew that he wouldn't answer now. She'd have to leave a message. So that's what she did: Logan it's Rory we're over please don't call me back. It was then that she realized what she'd done. She had broken up with a long-time boyfriend she had claimed to love for so long. How would this look? She walked out of her dark room and sat next to Lorelai at the table.
"I broke up with him"
"About time"
"No pro/con list"
"Well it's ok"
"I did write something though" she handed her the paper.
Lorelai read it as a grin slowly spread across her face.
"You've got to let me play with this"
"What?"
"I'll talk to him tell him stuff like I wish you were with her instead of Logan stuff like that" Lorelai began explaining her plan "then I'll leave and you'll come in and tell him you love him."
"It's mean"
"It's hilarious"
"Fine"
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"What can I get you" Jess asked.
"Coffee" Lorelai tilted her cup. He filled it then looked around the diner. Only Kirk was there and he was already eating.
"I really hate Logan"
"Yea he's a real ass"
"I wish you and Rory were still together"
"You and me both"
"Did you know that these hearts are still there?"
"Uh yeah I'm not sure who did it but I can't get it off"
"When did you try and get it off"
"Yesterday"
"After the bookstore"
"Yea it started bugging me"
"Your fault"
"It is"
"Rory did it with greasy fingers you did it with pencil I did it with a sharpie"
"You did it with the sharpie"
"Yep"
"Why?"
"So both of you would be reminded of how much you love each other"
"What ever she doesn't feel the same way about me as I do about her"
"Are you sure about that"
"Lorelai I know for some reason you like me now and want me to be with her but she hasn't had a very good track record with listening lately."
"She went back to Yale"
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Jess laid in his bed staring at the ceiling wondering if he had pushed them back to square one. His phone rang. It was his mom. He picked it up and talked to her for awhile. She asked him repeatedly what was wrong. After awhile tears started rolling down his cheeks. He refused to let her know but she did. She kept talking. About nothing really just small talk. It kept his mind off of Rory and the subject off of what was wrong with this once guarded boy. Someone knocked on his door. It couldn't be Luke he was busy. It couldn't be Lorelai he had just had his daily talk with her an hour ago.
"Come in"
Rory walked in. She looked at him and gulped. She wasn't ready for this but she had to do it.
"Opposite"
"What?"
"You were wrong it's the opposite"
"Rory you're not making any sense"
"I'm in love with you with him it's platonic if even that"
"Rory don't mess with my head."
She laughed at the irony of what he had just said.
"I wasn't going to that was my mom's idea"
"Yea well you can go now"
"No you don't understand" she shook her head "I'm really in love with you I've always loved you"
"Then where does the messing with my head come in?"
"My mom earlier talking about how she wished you were Logan and that stuff"
"Well you're still with Logan so what difference does it make"
"We broke up"
"Yeah right"
"We did"
"Oh"
"I better go"
"Yea you should" Jess said.
Rory started for the door when she felt a hand on her arm.
"But I'm not going to let you"
