To Live a Nightmare
By Oonagh
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Authors Note: This story is set at the start of Downloaded, an attempt to verbalise the reason for original Cylon-Sharon's response to waking up in the regeneration bath.
A long corridor lay in front of her, its grey wall lined by angry, hateful faces. She shuffled along, hindered by manacles and emotional distress. Her stomach roiled, tossing around the little food she had been able to eat that day. Behind her she could hear the footsteps of the guards - heavy and moving slowly, as if to give the crowd as much time as possible to hurl insults and invectives at her. And she could hear his footsteps, surprisingly soft for such a big man, the footsteps of the man she loved, the man whose life she had ruined. The steady rhythm almost brought her comfort. She concentrated on it in an attempt to block out the looks on the faces of people she'd once called friends, to block out the names. Not that they were any worse than those which she called herself. She deserved punishment and she hated herself as much as her one-time comrades did. Maybe more. She had become that which she most reviled. No, worse than that, she had always been that which she most reviled, despite what her memories of home and family and him told her. And then, as this monster that she had been and had become, she had shot a man she loved and admired. Even now, as she watched the twisted expression on the face of a woman she'd always been close to, she could see the Old Man lying sprawled across the table, his blood pouring from two well-aimed holes in his chest. Lost in her horrific memory, the gunshot came as a shock but the pain brought her crashing back to the present. As the blood drained from her body she frantically sought out his face.
'I love you, Chief.' She felt the pain overwhelm her and blackness fell, slowly obscuring the face she loved above all others.
And Sharon Valerii awoke, groggy but relieved that it was all a dream, a terrible nightmare. She wasn't dead and she hadn't betrayed all she knew and loved. She could never do that. Then she opened her eyes… and screamed.
