Sometimes I Wake Up Crying
A/N: Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter, hopefully this one won't disappoint. It's shorter I'm afraid, but I put just as much effort into it! UK has just started showing season 3 on Sky 3 so I'm sort of catching up. Not that I think it matters, if you just pretend season 3 hasn't happened. Next chapter will take less time to get written, promise.
Disclaimer: I don't own Cold Case, or any of the characters etc.
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CHAPTER 2: sometimes you kiss me goodnight
It was four days before the hospital even considered discharging Lilly. Scotty tried his best to stay away from her room, each day telling himself she wouldn't want him there, but each day going in anyway. Vera had, all be it awkwardly, agreed to take her cats home since her house was still a crime scene. That act of kindness had surprised Scotty since he was pretty sure Vera felt the same way as he did about pets, but he'd stayed quiet.
He hadn't, however, been able to stay quiet when they were discussing putting her in protective custody.
"It's the only way she's going to be safe…" Stillman said, fetching water from the machine in the office as he did so.
"That's bull and you know it!" Lowering his voice slightly, Scotty's eyes met Stillman's, "I'll take her home with me. I won't take my eyes off her. Please,"
After a long argument, he'd agreed to let Lilly stay at Scotty's, under the conditions that she was happy with the arrangement, and that two cops stayed across the street from his apartment to be sure nothing happened while he slept. Scotty doubted he'd be sleeping at all, but didn't argue with this, knowing she'd be safer with the cops there. Then it was just a case of asking Lilly. Easier said than done, he knew, but since she wasn't being herself, he thought she'd be a little less stubborn than usual.
He was right.
"Okay," Lilly said, after he explained it to her.
Nodding, he continued to drive. His apartment wasn't far from the hospital, so the uncomfortable silence didn't need to last long. Lilly sat awkwardly in the passenger's seat, hands clasped in her lap, eyes staring straight ahead. She'd done that a lot lately. It made his stomach feel strange when he saw her do that. It really wasn't a Lilly thing to do. Then again, she wasn't exactly feeling herself, and he certainly couldn't blame her.
It wasn't until he'd already reached his apartment block and cut off the gas that he realized they hadn't stopped by her apartment to pick anything up or anything. I'll do it in the morning, he thought, deciding she could just borrow a t-shirt from him to sleep in or wear what she was wearing now – a black sweater and jeans which Vera had picked up whilst getting the cats. Not that it really mattered. Lilly hadn't slept properly the whole time she was in hospital; the nurses had had to sedate her so that she could get some rest. Scotty had to remind himself that they were talking about the same person. It just didn't sink in. She was so tough, yet here she was too scared to even close her eyes.
Unhooking his seatbelt, Scotty sat for a moment before getting out of the car. Lilly didn't move. He went round to her side, and opened the door, and although she turned in her seat, she made no move to exit the car. Sighing, he looked down at her. Strands of blonde hair had come loose from the ponytail a nurse had fixed for her, and Scotty had to stop himself from tucking them in for her. He knew better than to touch her at the moment – he'd lightly brushed her arm when getting her into the car earlier and she'd freaked. That had been the moment he truly realized she wasn't Lilly anymore. And they were no closer to finding out who it was who'd made her that way.
"Lil, you need to get out of the car,"
She still didn't move, answering him only with a: "Mmm?"
It was better than nothing.
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Finally inside, Lilly stood in the middle of the lounge area. It was typically masculine – black leather couch, glass coffee table complete with an empty pizza box, and a huge widescreen TV was the center point of the room. She could imagine Scotty sitting there watching the baseball, beer in hand. Any other time, she would have teased him about it, but not now. Hugging herself, she turned to look at him, "Where am I sleeping?"
He was glad to finally hear her speak and actually sound like herself. Dropping his keys on the counter, Scotty went over to Lilly, giving her a smile, "You can sleep in my room. I'll sleep on the couch,"
There was silence for a long moment whilst Lilly stared at Scotty, a slightly confused look on her face.
"Can I stay here with you for a while?" She eventually asked, looking up at him with tired eyes.
He nodded and sat down. After a moment she joined him, sitting herself right up at the other end of the couch so that there was a big space between them. To be honest, he couldn't blame her. She wasn't feeling safe around anyone, but it made him feel just the slight bit hurt that she couldn't even trust him. Looking over at her, he didn't even realize he was staring until she turned around and gave him an odd look.
"Uh… you want to watch TV?" Scotty asked, picking up the remote.
Lilly shrugged, "Okay,"
Turning the TV on, Scotty leant back on the coach, deciding not to put his feet up on the coffee table as he usually did. The screen showed Sky Sports and he quickly changed channel, muttering: "Oh you don't want that," to which there was no reply, even when he changed it to HBO and asked Lilly if she knew what this show was. He turned to look at her and realized she was fast asleep, her head resting on the arm of the chair. She looked more peaceful than she had been in a long time and he was reluctant to disturb her but since his bedroom didn't have windows that opened, she'd be safer there. Quietly turning off the television, he stood up and walked around the coffee table to the other side of the couch. Then he lifted her into his arms, letting her head rest on his shoulder as he took her into the bedroom and put her down gently on the bed. Luckily, she didn't wake and he carefully picked up the covers and laid them over her.
For a moment he just stood there with the light on, watching her sleep. Content that Lilly was okay, Scotty went over to her and kissed her forehead before exiting the room, leaving the door slightly open so he could easily check on her. Inside the lounge, he turned the TV on, the volume right down.
There was no way he was going to be sleeping that night.
TBC…
