Love Hina - Married With Princess
Married With Princess[PG-13]
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson

Summary: Prince Su Keitaro? What's this? Hinata Sou is an embassy because of the Princess living there? Making it foreign soil? Soil in which a certain law states that living under the same roof with a woman for a year means that you're married? Soil in which divorces aren't recognised? Keitaro, welcome to married life.

Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine.

Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860, MSN Messenger as iamhawkyahoo.com or through e-mail as iamhawkyahoo.com, more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at http:hawksgalaxy.com or by clicking on my handle up above if you're on ff.net.

"speech"
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers
/thoughts/
/telepathy/
translation
soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV

Previously, on 'Married With Princess'


Once things calmed down, he returned and picked up the receiver.

"Love you too, mom. Tell dad and Kanako that I said hi. Bye." he hastily spoke into the receiver, then hung up. "Phew." he exhaled, then hastily reached for his cell and turned it off before she had a chance to realise that she'd been hung up on and called him.

He sighed, his communications back home would have to be restricted to letters until his mother calmed down. Seeing as how his mother was a big fan of royalty, weddings and grandchildren, being told in one and the same call that he'd gotten married to a princess without inviting his mother and didn't even plan on getting his wife pregnant right this instant, he didn't expect her to calm down anytime soon.

Perhaps somewhere around the same time he got some grandchildren on his own...

Perhaps...

Roll credits





Chapter Two:


"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."
- Socrates

Keitaro was one unhappy camper.

Su had insisted on sleeping in his room for hours, until she finally seemed to give up and stalked off to sleep in her own room. However, she apparently snuck into his room using the secret tunnels, so that when he got underneath the covers of his futon, she shot out from a hole in the wall like a bullet from a gun and joined him. He tried to get out, only to be held down by the surprisingly strong Kaolla.

Wrestling proved futile, as she quickly proved to be his superior in that particular field.

Finally, he gave up and much to his great relief, Kaolla only wanted to sleep with him, not 'sleep with' him.

She was adamant about receiving a goodnight kiss, however.

At which point Naru and Motoko burst into the room, revealing that they had been listening in on the going ons for quite a while.

Kitsune, Sarah and Shinobu probably were as well, but didn't burst into the room.

Chaos had ensued as a furious debate broke out, until a decision had been reached which would allow everyone involved to get at least a few hours of sleep before they had to get up. Kaolla had been permitted one kiss, carefully monitored by Naru and Motoko. None of the other three had cared about Keitaro's protests.

And Kaolla hadn't cared that there were watchers, giving the blushing Motoko and Naru the show of their lives.

If these cheapskates only permitted her one kiss with her new husband, she was going to make damned sure that it was a pretty good one.

And it was.




"Mghlf. Mnooo. Please, Narusegawa. Not the pitchfork. It's not my fault." Keitaro whimpered in his sleep, as Kaolla entered the room, sliding the door shut behind her. She smiled as she walked over to the futon, kneeling down beside it and putting the tray she carried down next to it. She removed the robe she was wearing, revealing bright green silk PJ's with the three ever-watching eyes of Molmol on them, then crawled underneath the covers and snuggled up against Keitaro, wrapping her arms around him.

"Shhhh, Keitaro. It's okay... It's just a dream, a bad dream." she whispered into his ear, pulling his head down to rest against her chest, resting her chin on top of his head. "It's okay, it's okay..." she murmured, stroking his back and rubbing the back of his head.

If there had been any witnesses, none would have believed it. Su's face was unusually serious, her voice gentle and subdued and her motions were slow and graceful, not frantic and random as they usually were. It almost seemed as if she was a completely different person.

"It wasn't my idea, Narusegawa. It's a law! No, I haven't slept with her! Well, I have slept with her, but I didn't sleep with her! Please don't hit me." Keitaro whined with a pleading note.

"Naru isn't here. She can't hurt you. I won't let her hurt you." Kaolla murmured, tightening her hold on Keitaro. "You're safe. Safe here with me. I promise that I won't let anyone hurt you." she said and some of what she said appeared to sink into Keitaro's unconscious, as he calmed down somewhat and curled up closed to Kaolla, wrapping his own arms around her. "You'll always be safe with me. Always, my beloved." Kaolla promised and tightened her hold again, very careful not to go too far and hurt him in the process.

"Mhglf. Mgmm... Hm?" Keitaro groaned in his sleep and Kaolla eased up somewhat. Apparently, while it hadn't been hard enough to hurt, it had been hard enough to wake him up. "Wha..." Keitaro mumbled, rubbing his head against the two soft mounds his head was resting against. It wasn't Naru, they were neither large enough nor smelled like hers. It wasn't Mutsumi, these were by far too small and once again, the distinctive scent of Mutsumi just wasn't there. He'd recognise Motoko's tightly bound chest anywhere and this wasn't it. It wasn't Kitsune's squeazable babies either, he knew those all too well. Shinobu? No, these were different. /Kaolla? Yes, Kaolla./ Keitaro reflected in that sleepy daze that comes before complete wakefulness.

Kaolla? Kaolla?!

"Gah!" Keitaro exclaimed as he came to in the blink of an eye, disengaging and leaping out of the futon, presenting warding gestures in Kaolla's direction. "Wha-wha-wha-wh-wha-w-wh-wha-wha..." Keitaro stuttered, wondering what she had been doing in his bed. She appeared to be awake, but then why hadn't she stopped him from rubbing his face against her chest?!

"Good morning, beloved." Su greeted him and moved into a kneeling position, bowing before him in a very elaborate way. "I know that this one might be inexperienced, but please accept her as your wife." she requested in a fairly ritualised manner that spoke of age-long traditions passed down for generations.

"Gah!" escaped from Keitaro's lips before he clapped his hands over his own mouth, which he suspected was not, in fact, the correct and traditional response to Su's request. Su hadn't moved, not one jot and she was still kneeling and bowing in front of him, immobile and with her head turned down so he couldn't make out whatever expression was on her face. He felt cold, bewildered and panicked. Among the things Rawan had turned over, had been a book on Molmolian etiquette, but Keitaro hadn't read it yet, so he didn't know what the correct response to this situation might be.

He thought desperately for nearly two minutes, while Kaolla remained immobile in front of him, never moving an inch or saying anything. Finally, he just did the first thing that came to mind.

"Good morning, Kaolla." he greeted her, feeling like a complete arse.

"Good morning, beloved." Kaolla repeated. "I know that this one might be inexperienced, but please accept her as your wife." she added, still immobile.

"Kaolla, I would be honoured..." Keitaro started to say, but the 'But' that was about to emerge from his lips, never did, as Kaolla suddenly became a blur. The 'But' turned into a grunt, as she slammed into him and wrapped her arms around him, her lips coming up to meet his. "MMMMMmmmllf!"

"Oh, I was so nervous." Kaolla whimpered as she finally pulled away, tears streaming down her cheeks. "No need for this." she muttered and yanked an ornate knife out of the left sleeve of her jammies, throwing it across the room. "I was so afraid you'd turn me down and I'd have to kill myself." she added, rubbing her cheek against Keitaro's face, tears still streaming down her cheeks.

"Kill... Yourself..." Keitaro gasped out, his eyes bulging out of their sockets.

"Yes. If you'd turned me down, I would have had to kill myself." Kaolla explained. "Oh, I'm so happy you finally saw reason. All those protests yesterday made me very nervous about this morning." she revealed, then kissed him again.




It was a very troubled young man that finally ventured out into the Hinata Sou later in the morning. Kaolla had brought breakfast, so they had shared their first meal as husband and wife together, talking quietly about this and that. Trivial matters, nothing really serious. Not only would his mother hurt him severely the next time she saw him, but he'd also married a girl he knew next to nothing about. Oh, sure. He knew of some of her likes and dislikes, knew that she did very well in school and he'd met her brother and sister. But despite living with her for a year, he only now realised just how much he didn't know about her.

He didn't even know her favourite colour, for crying out loud! And yet, he was married to her.

She didn't seem to mind, that was for certain. After she'd calmed down during breakfast, she had returned to her usual bright and happy self. Well, almost at any rate. She had seemed a bit more serious then usual, not quite as frantic. She was also more affectionate then usual. She had always been a very physical person, climbing all over him, riding his shoulders, hanging on to his legs, lying draped out across him when watching TV, rubbing her cheeks against his, doling out hugs at random, kicking and punching him whenever she got the chance.

She had still hit him once, when he asked if she could leave the room as he changed. 'I will not. It is a wifely right to watch her husband in all his glory.' she'd claimed and socked him in the stomach. But that had been it, otherwise, it had been touches, rubbing, caressing and a few kisses. At one point, she'd climbed up and perched on his shoulders, leaning forward over his head and requesting that he'd feed her by tossing pieces of food up into the air for her to catch.

He couldn't claim that it was all bad, but the entire situation was still far to disturbing for him to accept it. She was so much younger then he was, so much more innocent. It was wrong, the entire situation was wrong. He'd have Haruka talk with that lawyer again, see if it was anything that could be done to correct this mess.

"Morning, Kitsune." Keitaro greeted as he strolled into the kitchen, finding Kitsune at the counter.

"Shinobu won't leave her room." Kitsune added by the way of preemptive explanation for why it was she that was standing there, instead of Shinobu who usually provided breakfast. "Nor stop crying." she revealed.

"She took it hard, huh?" Keitaro asked despondently.

"She loves you. Of course she'd take it hard." Kitsune said with unusual seriousness, before she chuckled and assumed a more normal mode of behaviour for her. "So, how was your wedding night?" she inquired.

"Gah!" Keitaro exclaimed at the dual shock of Kitsune's question and at being told that Shinobu loved him. "Get real, Kitsune. Nothing happened." he snorted, once he'd recovered somewhat.

"I thought as much. Any other guy..." Kitsune responded, trailing off with a shudder. "But you... Only you, Keitaro. Only you." she finished, not explaining what she really meant by that.

"Ah..." Keitaro responded, as well-spoken as ever when confronted with unexpected praise.

"And with the most important stuff out of the way, perhaps you might know just what Kaolla did do us while we were sleeping?" Kitsune inquired.

"What Kaolla did?" Keitaro repeated with a confused expression.

"I'm talking about these!" Kitsune exclaimed and turned around, removing a pretty silk scarf from around her neck, revealing that she wore a leather collar around her neck with the three ever-watching eyes of Molmol emblazoned on a metal badge along with Kitsune's nickname. "When I woke up this morning, this was on my neck and I can't get it off. Naru and Motoko had them as well." she groused.

"Uh, no. I've never seen them before." Keitaro admitted and reached for the book on Molmoleese customs that Rawan had presented him with, pawing through the index for any references to collars. "Collars... Collars... Hmmm... Ah, page 57..." he mumbled and turned to the page in question, reading intently from it as his cheeks slowly coloured. All in all, a very bad omen, Kitsune thought.

"Well?!" she demanded and yanked the book out of Keitaro's hands, glaring down at the contents of it. "Collars. 1, Engagement Collar. To be used in lieu of a ring, when a ranking member of the Molmol hierarchy takes a life-mate from the ranks of prisoners of war. 2, Slave Collar. Use discontinued after the Slave Emancipation Act of 1734, except by certain BSDM sub-cultures. 3, Submission Collar. Used by prospective life-mates who has been turned down, indicating their complete submission to their chosen life-mate. If the prospective life-mate endures a year of servitude under their chosen mate without removing the collar or choosing to give up the proposal, the two shall be considered joined in holy matrimony." she read out loud, then studied the three pictures that accompanied the entry, showing off three rather different collars.

None of them really matched the one she was wearing, though it bore some resemblance to a Submission Collar. Well, Kaolla certainly wasn't going to get any kind of submissive behaviour out of her, that was for sure!

"Keitaro, I expect you to have a little chat with your 'wife' about these. I want it off." Kitsune told Keitaro in a stern tone of voice.

"Right you are, Kitsune." Keitaro agreed, wondering what could possibly have possessed Kaolla to make her hand out such perverted items to her dormmates.

"Urashima!" Motoko announced as she strode into the room, followed by Naru. Neither of them looked very pleased and both of them were wearing collars similar to the one Kitsune was wearing, though with their first names embossed on their respective badges. "I don't know what sort of perverted notion you got into your head that caused you to persuade Su to manufacture these demeaning objects for you, but I order you to remove them right this instant!" she snapped.

"But I didn't... I haven't..." Keitaro started to protest.

"You lie, Urashima!" Motoko snapped and raised her bokken, only to suddenly scream and slump to the floor. "Urashima! What was... You die!" she cried and launched herself at him, only to scream again and drop her sword, slamming into his body. Keitaro awkwardly managed to catch her and prevent both of them from tumbling to the floor, but Motoko didn't appear to appreciate this, but instead tried to knee him in the groin, onto to scream in pain again. Though this time, she was joined in her scream by Keitaro who felt the electricity coarse through both of them due to their close proximity.

Both of them crumbled to the floor and rolled away from each other, panting as they tried to recover from the unexpected electrical shock.

Naru stalked over to Keitaro, kneeled down beside him and reached for his throat, only to suddenly scream herself and crumble to the floor right next to him, shivering and trembling.

"What in the name of all higher and lower powers are these accursed things?!" Motoko hollered.

"UBIRD's." Kaolla commented from the doorway, a faint smile on her face. "Undesired Behaviour Improving and Removal Devices." she added by the way of explanation. "Every time you try to harm my hubby, the UBIRD's gently reminds you that it's a very bad idea to do so."

"GENTLY?!" Naru screamed in outrage.

"Compared to some of the things you've done to Keitaro in the past, yes." Kaolla responded.

"And what about you, Kaolla?" Motoko inquired from the floor. "You yourself have partaken in similar activities in the past." she reminded the young foreigner.

"Yes, I have. That's why I am wearing one myself now." Kaolla replied and raised her chin, revealing that she too wore one of the collars now. "Devices on the inside of the leather collar senses intent to do harm to Keitaro and if that intent becomes an attempt to inflict harm, the collar gives the wearer an electrical shock to dissuade the wearer."

"Kaolla... Kaolla... Kaolla..." Keitaro sighed, shaking his head. "You just can't do things like this. How do you get them off?" he inquired as he studied the back of Naru's collar, while Naru grumbled under her breath.

"You can't remove them." Kaolla replied, as the three other girls who wore the collars gasped in horror. "But don't worry, they come off on their own after 750 hours as the batteries run out. Every discharge reduces the battery time by 5 hours." she explained.

"Why are you doing this to us, Su?" Naru groaned.

"To protect my beloved Keitaro, of course!" Kaolla chirped and bounced over to Keitaro, scrambling up his back until she was seated on his shoulders, crossing her arms as she looked down at Naru. "With my UBIRD's assuring that you're all on your best behaviour, perhaps all these unprovoked attacks with cease, even after the collars fall off."

"Fat chance..." Keitaro muttered to himself. "The moment one of those collars come off, I'm a dead man." he groused, shaking his head in disbelief.




"Heyas, hubby!" Kaolla exclaimed as she strolled into Keitaro's bath, clothed in nothing but a towel wrapped around her waist and the collar around her neck.

"Pfffft!" Keitaro spluttered as he caught sight of the topless girl, dropping the bucket he'd just emptied over himself from suddenly trembling hands. "Hey! I'm about to take a bath here! Get out!" he managed to get out, closing his eyes to prevent himself from seeing anything he shouldn't.

"I know! I'll wash your back for you, Keitaro." she replied unconcerned, closing the door behind her.

"No. No. Nonononononononono. No!" Keitaro protested.

"I'd keep it down, if I were you, hubby. You wouldn't want Naru or Motoko to come running to see what's going on, now would you?" Kaolla inquired in her serious voice. While none of them could actually do anything do him at the moment, knowing Keitaro, seeing any of them in pain would probably hurt Keitaro even more then if they'd actually succeeded in doing him physical harm.

"Butbutbut... You can't! You have to get out of here." Keitaro hissed, dreading the attempted punishment Naru or Motoko would try to dole out if they showed up right now, wincing at the pain they would receive for attempting it.

"We're married, Keitaro. Since you're so freaked about it, I agreed to postpone the honeymoon and everything that comes with it." Kaolla pointedly replied. "Work with me here. I gave up making love for your sake. You owe me. You will just have to deal with this." she announced and Keitaro could feel, even without seeing, how she suddenly smirked widely. "Unless, of course, you've decided to throw out all those stuffy prejudices and agree to make love with your darling wife. Then I might be willing to give up the joint baths in return." she flippantly suggested, causing Keitaro to break out in a cold sweat and tendrils of blood to slowly make their ways out of his nostrils.

"Uh... Joint baths may not be all that bad, actually." Keitaro eventually responded. "But could you please wear a swimming suit or something at the very least? And give me a chance to put one on? Please, Su-chan?"

"Too late." Kaolla replied and Keitaro heard water splashing, probably from Kaolla dumping a bucket of water over herself. "It's a wifely privilege to gaze at her husband, just as it is a husbandly privilege to gaze at his wife. And we are married, remember? Just because you chose not to exercise your husbandly privilege doesn't mean that I'm about to give up mine." she continued and Keitaro suddenly felt hands against his back. "You've got a surprisingly nice body, beloved." she commented as her hands roamed across his back. "You sure you wouldn't consider trading joint baths for something more... Intimate?"

"Very sure!" Keitaro piped up with a very shrill tone of voice.

"Shame..." Kaolla mumbled, then removed one of her hands from his back. Keitaro tensed up for a few moments, wondering where the hand was about to go, but relaxed as he felt a sponge against his back. She deftly scrubbed his back, tsk:ing at a shrill exclamation and a strained plea for her to just wash his back, nothing else. Certainly nothing below belt-level! Kaolla shook her head, but reluctantly moved the sponge away from his butt and stuck to washing everything above it. "All right. You're up." Kaolla announced once she was finished and tossed the sponge into Keitaro's lap, seating herself on a wooden pail.

"What?!" Keitaro exclaimed.

"You're up, honey. It's your turn to wash my back." Kaolla replied. "And I don't mind at all if your hands should happen to... Stray... Away from my back."

Thirty minutes later, it was a very subdued Su Keitaro whom left the bath, followed by a cheerful Su Kaolla with a wide grin on her face, the towel now wrapped around her entire torso. Keitaro wasn't sure that it was an improvement, however. Granted, her chest was now out of sight, but the towel wasn't very large, so now it just barely covered up her nether regions.

Surprisingly enough, they both managed to get back to their room without bumping into someone. A fact which Keitaro was immensely grateful for, as he had no desire to be screamed at by furious girls for 'taking advantage of poor Su'.

He still couldn't believe that they all saw her as the victim. She was immensely pleased with the situation, glowingly so at times. He was the one who suffered!

Though he had to admit to himself that it hadn't been all that bad. Other then a few teasing comments and trying to wash his ass, Kaolla had behaved herself... Somewhat. They'd chatted some in the barrel, once Keitaro had calmed down a bit after he realised that the water obscured the view of his young 'wife' and her nubile body.

He had been prepared to fend off any attempts of Kaolla to snuggle up against him, but there hadn't been a need for it. She had quite calmly joined him on the opposite side of the barrel and appeared content to merely talk with him, as they enjoyed the hot water together.

Even if he didn't manage to get that divorce, things wouldn't be all that horrible if this was how married life were to become for him.

Of course, being Keitaro and all, things were never all that simple, as he were about to find out.

The End! ( For now... )