Author's Notes: Thanks for checking out this work! This was originally written on May 19th, 2022 under the title "Some Flames Never Die." However, I decided to change it to a more fitting title, "Rumors" as a reference to the Fleetwood Mac album. I'm American, so I don't normally write words like that. I like to include author commentary at the end of my works, so check it out if you feel so inclined. If you don't feel like it, that's fine too!


It was a quiet Sunday evening in the Mario (that's Luigi's last name for anyone who doesn't know. It's stupid, but I stick to canon here) household. In a brightly decorated, orange and white room, Luigi and his wife, Daisy, sit on their couch with dismayed expressions.

"… And the Bullet Bills score another goal on Yoshi's Egg-Rollers! The score is now 4 to 2!"

Luigi snapped his fingers intensely. "Darn it all! I had-a money on Yoshi's team. As his-a friend, I feel like I have a duty to support him."

Sensing her lover's disappointment, Daisy gave the green plumber a loving embrace. "Aww Weegee, you're so loyal! That's what I love about you!"

Suddenly the sour mood in the air evaporated. "Daisy, you're too sweet. That's what I love so much about you!" Despite the poor odds, the couple continued watching the tournament match, arm-in-arm.

During a commercial break, a buzz-buzz went off in Daisy's pocket. It's a text message from her best friend and fellow princess, Peach. "Hey, girl! I hope you are having a pleasant weekend. I heard a rumor from one of my Toad messengers, but I do not believe it is true. However, I think you should know anyway." Her message cut off.

Naturally curious, Daisy immediately shouted. "Oh! It's from Peach!" She began typing, "How's it hanging? Weegee and I are spending today watching the soccer game. What's this rumor about?"

Peach's next message conveniently showed up when the game got back from commercials. "Oh. Luigi is with you now? What I heard would make him really upset."

Now excruciatingly curious, but mindful of Luigi's emotions, Daisy waited to respond until another goal was scored, which thankfully did not take long. "Heya sweetie, I'll be back soon" she said, motioning towards the nearby bathroom door. Enveloped in the game, Luigi simply nodded.

"Ok, Peachy. What's up?"

"This is what I heard. Some Toads claim that you're having an affair."

"What?! Peach! You should know better than to buy into such blatant BS!"

"I know, I know. That is why I wanted you to know about this."

"What's their evidence? Don't they need to have proof?"

"Apparently, they have photographs. Do not ask me how they got them."

"Dare I ask you to send them?"

"Only because you are my friend." A few moments later, a series of poorly-photoshopped nude photos of her appeared before Daisy's face, which suddenly changed from her normal tan complexion to a ghastly green.

"…disgusting" Daisy managed to send before vomiting into the toilet.

The noise was loud enough to drown out the sports broadcast. Springing out of his seat, Luigi rushed towards the bathroom door, practically crashing into it like a battering ram. "What's wrong, darling?" Luigi nearly passed out from the sight of his wife passed out on the toilet bowl, but he managed to put on a brave face, cleaning her off and bringing her to bed. By this time, Daisy began waking up, still shaken.

"Weegee… what's happening?"

"You passed out. Must've ate something bad to-a puke that much."

"I what?! How long?"

"Couple hours. I've been by your-a side the whole time." Daisy then noticed that she was no longer wearing her usual casualwear, but one of Luigi's extra t-shirts. But then that means…

"My phone! Where's my phone?!"

"Oh this?" Luigi pulled her phone out of his pocket. "I saw everything…"

"Don't believe any of it! You know I would never cheat on you!" Daisy cried, on the verge of tears.

"It was-a the funniest thing I have seen in a while! Only a Goomba could fall for such an obvious fake!" Luigi chuckled.

"Huh? Did we see the same thing?" Daisy asked confused.

"I know exactly who-a would do such a thing. Why don't we pay them a visit soon?" A sly smirk stretched across Luigi's lips.


A week later, Wario and Waluigi's apartment.

"Wahaha! This next batch is ever better than the last!" Wario boasted presenting another crude mockup to his brother.

"Yes! YES! Who knew Rosalina was so promiscuous? Weheheh!" Waluigi cackled his way to the copier, quickly making hundreds of copies.

"Waha! And the best part is that those Toads will believe anything! Talk about-eh easy money!" Wario began pasting Peach's head onto the same naked body. "Just-eh wait until they see the new Peach series I'm workin' on!"

"But bro, won't they realize we've been using the same picture over-and-over again?"

"No nev-" Wario's thought was cut off by a knock on the door. "Get that, will ya?"

"Heya boys." Daisy stood in the hallway, wielding her signature tennis racket. "I hear that someone found a new calling." The Wario bros stood motionless, fear in their eyes.

"W-wait! How did you know it was us?" Waluigi spoke up.

Emerging from behind Daisy, Luigi appeared "Only bozos like-a you would leave your signatures on the pictures!"

Wario's face turned beet-red as all eyes focused on him. "Well-eh, y'know… an artist needs to claim his work! Yeah, that's it!"

In unison, Luigi and Daisy shouted out their rehearsed battle cry, "You're artists, alright… scam artists!"

The powerful words turned all of their lewd images into pillars of salt and along with it, the memory of such images even existing!

Luigi and Daisy return home, hearts in their eyes. After an arduous adventure, our favorite couple enjoyed their night together.


Author's Commentary: I wrote this after a particularly traumatic experience running into sexually explicit depictions of my favorite couple. Needless to say, I was not that pleased. So, instead of bottling up my emotions, I decided to channel them into something creative! You may notice that this story is pretty heavy on dialogue. I find that my strengths as a writer lie in character interactions rather than everything in between. If you go on to read the series I'm working on, I think you will find that I'm improving on making settings and action sequences. Thanks so much for reading and let the good times roll!