Kusakabe Tetsuya walks in to wrecked shoji screens, dented floorboards, the sight of his boss sporting a few purpling bruises, and the local urban legend known as Hibari Yayoi.

He screams.


Tetsuya has been following Kyoya around, mini pompadour and all, ever since he was three. This means, of course, that he is intimately familiar with Kyoya's older brother, his various quirks, and his overall influence on Namimori.

Then why would he scream at the sight of someone so familiar?

Let's put it this way:

Imagine an older, more smiley Hibari Kyoya; someone who's just as strong and just as unreasonable as the real deal. Imagine that this older Hibari Kyoya has a tendency to disappear at the most random and inconvenient of times, usually for weeks on end, with the added bonus of complete radio silence. Now imagine having to report these disappearances to the actual Hibari Kyoya, who responds with indifference at best and a subtle but violent tantrum at worst, every single time it happens.

Actually, we can go beyond imagination. Let's recap:

.

"I want to see ice-capped mountains," Yayoi sighs. He lights up with an idea and reaches for his duffel bag. Kyoya lights up with BLOODLUST and reaches for his tonfas. Tetsuya lights up an alarm signal and prays for mercy.

.

"Ooh, this renowned tea shop in Beijing is having a half-off sale for the whole week!"

Yayoi is halfway out the door before anyone can react. His little brother blinks sleepily and rolls over to continue his afternoon nap, leaving Tetsuya to scramble after the flighty teen.

"Beijing?! Wait, Yayoi-sama, not China!"

.

"I want macarons. I want good macarons. I want," Yayoi looks up, eyes flashing ominously, "France."

"What? …What? Wait, you want WHAT?"

.

"It's an emergency! Code red, I repeat, code red!"

"Where is nii-san," Hibari Kyoya hisses, wrath incarnate. Tetsuya tries not to cry.

.

"Italy," Yayoi declares. He leaves.

Mafia, Tetsuya hears. He cries.

"Someone! Someone stop Yayoi-sama before he gets to the airport!"

.

Chaos. Headaches. Stress.

Ah, yes. The memories alone are enough to make him feel faint.

As compensation for all the heartbreak he's had to suffer through, Tetsuya decides it's his lawful right to scream like a girl and fall to the floor dramatically at the sight of Hibari Yayoi.

Besides, most Namimori residents wouldn't even get past the idea of two Hibari Kyoya's before they started screaming.


Hibari Yayoi looks down upon the crumpled form of his little brother's most loyal minion.

"I mean, I know I'm drop-dead gorgeous, but that doesn't mean you actually have to drop into a dead faint every time you see me, y'know?"