Burn the Deatheater
Order Members: chanting
Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem.
bonk
Pie Iesu domine,...
bonk
...dona eis requiem.
bonk
Pie Iesu domine,...
bonk
...dona eis requiem.
CROWD:
A Deatheater! A Deatheater!
bonk
A Deatheater! A Deatheater!
Order Members: chanting
Pie Iesu domine...
CROWD:
A Deatheater ! A Deatheater ! A Deatheater ! A Deatheater ! We've found a Deatheater ! A Deatheater ! A Deatheater ! A Deatheater ! A Deatheater ! We've got a Deatheater ! A Deatheater ! A Deatheater ! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! We've found a Deatheater ! We've found a Deatheater ! A Deatheater ! A Deatheater ! A Deatheater !
George Weasley:
We have found a Deatheater . May we burn her?
CROWD:
Burn her! Burn! Burn her! Burn her!
Albus Dumbledore:
How do you know she is a Deatheater ?
George Weasley:
She looks like one.
CROWD:
Right! Yeah! Yeah!
Albus Dumbledore:
Bring her forward.
Dolores Umbridge:
I'm not a Deatheater . I'm not a Deatheater .
Albus Dumbledore:
Uh, but you are dressed as one.
Dolores Umbridge:
They dressed me up like this.
CROWD:
Augh, we didn't! We didn't...
Dolores Umbridge:
And this isn't my nose. It's a false one.
Albus Dumbledore:
Well?
Fred Weasley:
Well, we did do the nose.
Albus Dumbledore:
The nose?
Fred Weasley:
And the hat, but she is a Deatheater !
George Weasley:
Yeah!
CROWD:
We burn her! Right! Yeaaah! Yeaah!
Albus Dumbledore:
Did you dress her up like this?
Fred Weasley:
No!
George and Lee:
No. No.
George Weasley:
No.
Fred Weasley:
No.
George and Lee:
No.
Fred Weasley:
Yes.
George Weasley:
Yes.
Fred Weasley:
Yes. Yeah, a bit.
Lee Jordan:
A bit.
Fred and George:
A bit.
Lee Jordan:
A bit.
Fred Weasley:
She has got a wart.
RANDOM:
cough
Albus Dumbledore:
What makes you think she is a Deatheater ?
Lee Jordan:
Well, she turned me into a newt.
Albus Dumbledore:
A newt?
Lee Jordan:
I got better.
George Weasley:
Burn her anyway!
Fred Weasley:
Burn!
CROWD:
Burn her! Burn! Burn her!...
Albus Dumbledore:
Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a Deatheater .
Fred Weasley:
Are there?
George Weasley:
Ah?
Fred Weasley:
What are they?
CROWD:
Tell us! Tell us!...
Albus Dumbledore:
Tell me. What do you do with Deatheaters ?
George Weasley:
Burn!
Fred Weasley:
Burn!
CROWD:
Burn! Burn them up! Burn!...
Albus Dumbledore:
And what do you burn apart from Deatheaters ?
Fred Weasley:
More Deatheaters !
Lee Jordan:
Shh!
George Weasley:
Wood!
Albus Dumbledore:
So, why do Deatheaters burn?
pause
Lee Jordan:
B--... 'cause they're made of... wood?
Albus Dumbledore:
Good! Heh heh.
CROWD:
Oh, yeah. Oh.
Albus Dumbledore:
So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
Fred Weasley:
Build a bridge out of her.
Albus Dumbledore:
Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
Fred Weasley:
Oh, yeah.
RANDOM:
Oh, yeah. True. Uhh...
Albus Dumbledore:
Does wood sink in water?
Fred Weasley:
No. No.
George Weasley:
No, it floats! It floats!
Fred Weasley:
Throw her into the pond!
CROWD:
The pond! Throw her into the pond!
Albus Dumbledore:
What also floats in water?
Fred Weasley:
Bread!
George Weasley:
Apples!
Lee Jordan:
Uh, very small rocks!
Fred Weasley:
Cider!
George Weasley:
Uh, gra-- gravy!
Fred Weasley:
Cherries!
George Weasley:
Mud!
Lee Jordan:
Uh, churches! Churches!
George Weasley:
Lead! Lead!
Harry Potter:
A duck!
CROWD:
Oooh.
Albus Dumbledore:
Exactly. So, logically...
Fred Weasley:
If... she... weighs... the same as a duck,... she's made of wood.
Albus Dumbledore:
And therefore?
George Weasley:
A Deatheater!
Fred Weasley:
A Deatheater !
CROWD:
A Deatheater ! A Deatheater !...
Cedric Digory:
Here is a duck. Use this duck.
quack quack quack
Albus Dumbledore:
Very good. We shall use my largest scales.
CROWD:
Ohh! Ohh! Burn the Deatheater ! Burn the Deatheater ! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Ahh! Ahh...
Albus Dumbledore:
Right. Remove the supports!
whop
clunk
creak
CROWD:
A Deatheater ! A Deatheater ! A Deatheater !
Dolores Umbridge:
It's a fair cop.
Lee Jordan:
Burn her!
CROWD:
Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn! Burn!...
Albus Dumbledore:
Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?
Harry Potter:
I am Harry, The Boy that Wouldn't die.
Albus Dumbledore:
My liege!
Harry:
Good Sir Wizard, will you come with me to Hogwarts and join us at the Octagonal Table?
Albus Dumbledore:
My liege! I would be honored.
Harry:
What is your name?
Albus Dumbledore:
'Dumbledore', my liege.
Harry:
Then I dub you 'Sir Dumbledore, Wizard of the Octagonal Table'
