The Castle Scene

Lucius:

One day, lad, all this will be yours!

Draco:

What, the curtains?

Lucius:

No. Not the curtains, lad. All that you can see stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This'll be your kingdom, lad.

Draco:

But Mother--

Lucius:

Father, lad. Father.

Draco:

B-- b-- but Father, I don't want any of that.

Lucius:

Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So, I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp, but the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands.

Draco:

But I don't want any of that. I'd rather--

Lucius:

Rather what!

Draco:

I'd rather...

music

...just... sing!

Lucius:

Stop that! Stop that! You're not going into a song while I'm here. Now listen, lad. In twenty minutes, you're getting married to a girl whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Britain.

Draco:

B-- but I don't want land.

Lucius:

Listen, Alice,--

Draco:

Draco.

Lucius:

'Draco. We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get.

Draco:

But-- but I don't like her.

Lucius:

Don't like her! What's wrong with her! She's beautiful. She's rich. She's got huge... tracts o' land!

Draco:

I know, but I want the-- the girl that I marry to have...

music

...a certain,... special... something!

Lucius:

Cut that out! Cut that out! Look, you're marrying Princess Pansy, so you'd better get used to the idea!

smack

Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him.

Rodolphus:

Not to leave the room even if you come and get him.

Rabastan:

Hic!

Lucius:

No, no. Until I come and get him.

Rodolphus:

Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room.

Lucius:

No, no. No. You stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave.

Rodolphus:

And you'll come and get him.

Rabastan:

Hic!

Lucius:

Right.

Rodolphus:

We don't need to do anything apart from just stop him entering the room.

Lucius:

No, no. Leaving the room.

Rodolphus:

Leaving the room. Yes.

sniff

Lucius:

All right?

Rodolphus:

Right.

Rabastan:

Hic!

Lucius:

Right.

Rodolphus:

Oh, if-- if-- if, uhh-- if-- if-- w-- ehh-- i-- if-- if we--

Lucius:

Yes? What is it?

Rodolphus:

Oh, i-- if-- i-- oh--

Lucius:

Look, it's quite simple.

Rodolphus:

Uh...

Lucius:

You just stay here and make sure 'e doesn't leave the room. All right?

Rabastan:

Hic!

Lucius:

Right.

Rodolphus:

Oh, I remember. Uhh, can he leave the room with us?

Lucius:

N-- no, no. No. You just keep him in here and make sure he--

Rodolphus:

Oh, yes. We'll keep him in here, obviously, but if he had to leave and we were with him--

Lucius:

No, no, no, no. Just keep him in here--

Rodolphus:

Until you or anyone else--

Lucius:

No, not anyone else. Just me.

Rodolphus:

Just you.

Rabastan:

Hic!

Lucius:

Get back.

Rodolphus:

Get back.

Lucius:

All right?

Rodolphus:

Right. We'll stay here until you get back.

Rabastan:

Hic!

Lucius:

And, uh, make sure he doesn't leave.

Rodolphus:

What?

Lucius:

Make sure 'e doesn't leave.

Rodolphus:

The Prince?

Lucius:

Yes. Make sure 'e doesn't leave.

Rodolphus:

Oh, yes, of course.

Rabastan:

Hic!

Rodolphus:

Ah. I thought you meant him. You know, it seemed a bit daft me havin' to guard him when he's a guard.

Lucius:

Is that clear?

Rabastan:

Hic!

Rodolphus:

Oh, quite clear. No problems.

starts to leave only to be followed by guards

Lucius:

Right. Where are you going?

Rodolphus:

We're coming with you.

Lucius:

No, no. I want you to stay here and make sure 'e doesn't leave.

Rodolphus:

Oh, I see. Right.

Draco:

But Father!

Lucius:

Shut your noise, you! And get that suit on!

music

And no singing!

Rabastan:

Hic!

Lucius:

Oh, go and get a glass of water.