The Castle Scene
Lucius:
One day, lad, all this will be yours!
Draco:
What, the curtains?
Lucius:
No. Not the curtains, lad. All that you can see stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This'll be your kingdom, lad.
Draco:
But Mother--
Lucius:
Father, lad. Father.
Draco:
B-- b-- but Father, I don't want any of that.
Lucius:
Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So, I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp, but the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands.
Draco:
But I don't want any of that. I'd rather--
Lucius:
Rather what!
Draco:
I'd rather...
music
...just... sing!
Lucius:
Stop that! Stop that! You're not going into a song while I'm here. Now listen, lad. In twenty minutes, you're getting married to a girl whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Britain.
Draco:
B-- but I don't want land.
Lucius:
Listen, Alice,--
Draco:
Draco.
Lucius:
'Draco. We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get.
Draco:
But-- but I don't like her.
Lucius:
Don't like her! What's wrong with her! She's beautiful. She's rich. She's got huge... tracts o' land!
Draco:
I know, but I want the-- the girl that I marry to have...
music
...a certain,... special... something!
Lucius:
Cut that out! Cut that out! Look, you're marrying Princess Pansy, so you'd better get used to the idea!
smack
Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him.
Rodolphus:
Not to leave the room even if you come and get him.
Rabastan:
Hic!
Lucius:
No, no. Until I come and get him.
Rodolphus:
Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room.
Lucius:
No, no. No. You stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave.
Rodolphus:
And you'll come and get him.
Rabastan:
Hic!
Lucius:
Right.
Rodolphus:
We don't need to do anything apart from just stop him entering the room.
Lucius:
No, no. Leaving the room.
Rodolphus:
Leaving the room. Yes.
sniff
Lucius:
All right?
Rodolphus:
Right.
Rabastan:
Hic!
Lucius:
Right.
Rodolphus:
Oh, if-- if-- if, uhh-- if-- if-- w-- ehh-- i-- if-- if we--
Lucius:
Yes? What is it?
Rodolphus:
Oh, i-- if-- i-- oh--
Lucius:
Look, it's quite simple.
Rodolphus:
Uh...
Lucius:
You just stay here and make sure 'e doesn't leave the room. All right?
Rabastan:
Hic!
Lucius:
Right.
Rodolphus:
Oh, I remember. Uhh, can he leave the room with us?
Lucius:
N-- no, no. No. You just keep him in here and make sure he--
Rodolphus:
Oh, yes. We'll keep him in here, obviously, but if he had to leave and we were with him--
Lucius:
No, no, no, no. Just keep him in here--
Rodolphus:
Until you or anyone else--
Lucius:
No, not anyone else. Just me.
Rodolphus:
Just you.
Rabastan:
Hic!
Lucius:
Get back.
Rodolphus:
Get back.
Lucius:
All right?
Rodolphus:
Right. We'll stay here until you get back.
Rabastan:
Hic!
Lucius:
And, uh, make sure he doesn't leave.
Rodolphus:
What?
Lucius:
Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
Rodolphus:
The Prince?
Lucius:
Yes. Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
Rodolphus:
Oh, yes, of course.
Rabastan:
Hic!
Rodolphus:
Ah. I thought you meant him. You know, it seemed a bit daft me havin' to guard him when he's a guard.
Lucius:
Is that clear?
Rabastan:
Hic!
Rodolphus:
Oh, quite clear. No problems.
starts to leave only to be followed by guards
Lucius:
Right. Where are you going?
Rodolphus:
We're coming with you.
Lucius:
No, no. I want you to stay here and make sure 'e doesn't leave.
Rodolphus:
Oh, I see. Right.
Draco:
But Father!
Lucius:
Shut your noise, you! And get that suit on!
music
And no singing!
Rabastan:
Hic!
Lucius:
Oh, go and get a glass of water.
