The Bridge of Death
Neville Longbottom:
There it is!
Harry:
The Bridge of Death!
Ron Weasley:
Oh, great.
Harry:
Look! There's the old man from scene twenty-four!
Albus Dumbledore:
What is he doing here?
Harry:
He is the keeper of the Bridge of Death. He asks each traveler five questions--
Neville Longbottom:
Three questions.
Harry:
Three questions. He who answers the five questions--
Neville Longbottom:
Three questions.
Harry:
Three questions may cross in safety.
Ron Weasley:
What if you get a question wrong?
Harry:
Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril.
Ron Weasley:
Oh, I won't go.
Neville Longbottom:
Who's going to answer the questions?
Harry:
Ron!
Ron Weasley:
Yes?
Harry:
Brave Sir Ron, you go.
Ron Weasley:
Hey! I've got a great idea. Why doesn't Colin go?
Colin Creevey:
Yes. Let me go, my liege. I will take him single-handed. I shall make a feint to the north-east that s--
Harry:
No, no. No. Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! Just answer the five questions--
Neville Longbottom:
Three questions.
Harry:
Three questions as best you can, and we shall watch... and pray.
Colin Creevey:
I understand, my liege.
Harry:
Good luck, brave Sir Colin. God be with you.
Filch:
Stop!
Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Colin Creevey:
Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Filch:
What... is your name?
Colin Creevey:
My name is 'Sir Colin of Camera'.
Filch:
What... is your quest?
Colin Creevey:
To seek the Holy Snitch.
Filch:
What... is your favorite color?
Colin Creevey:
Blue.
Filch:
Right. Off you go.
Colin Creevey:
Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
Ron Weasley:
That's easy!
Filch:
Stop! Who approacheth the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Ron Weasley:
Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.
Filch:
What... is your name?
Ron Weasley:
'Sir Ron of The Burrow'.
Filch:
What... is your quest?
Ron Weasley:
To seek the Holy Snitch.
Filch:
What... is the capital of Assyria?
pause
Ron Weasley:
I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
Filch:
Stop! What... is your name?
Neville Longbottom:
'Sir Neville of My Grandmother's House'.
Filch:
What... is your quest?
Neville Longbottom:
I seek the Snitch.
Filch:
What... is your favorite color?
Neville Longbottom:
Blue. No, yel-- auuuuuuuugh!
Filch:
Hee hee heh. Stop! What... is your name?
Harry:
It is 'Harry', The Boy that wouldn't Die.
Filch:
What... is your quest?
Harry:
To seek the Holy Snitch.
Filch:
What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Harry:
What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Filch:
Huh? I-- I don't know that. Auuuuuuuugh!
Albus Dumbledore:
How do know so much about swallows?
Harry:
Well, you have to know these things when you battle dark lords, you know.
suspenseful music
music suddenly stops
suspenseful music resumes
