Goes without saying, I don't own Anne of Green Gables or Anne with an E

Due to the mass exodus of passengers, it was a little while before they were on their way to Dr. Ward's office. It was near enough to the train station that they could walk, but Gilbert felt guilty for pulling time away from Anne. He hadn't thought about this part, when he made his offer. What if this took too long and she missed the ferry? Selfish, his thoughts invaded like a whip lash. Self-recrimination cut with a serrated edge. He'd just wanted to be close to her. The thought of learning more about her was something he couldn't resist and didn't want to. She didn't know how right she was, calling herself an enigma. She baffled him in the most marvelous ways. Surrounded by shadows, she shined like the sun. Her red hair and freckles, oh, if only she could hear what he thought of in those brief moments he allowed himself to trace her features with his eyes. He mapped constellations on her cheeks. And her hair, it wasn't just red. It was gold and copper. It cascaded over her shoulders like molten metal. Or it would, if she would let him take out her braids and run his fingers through-

Gilbert cleared his throat deliberately, shifting his thoughts AWAY at the reality of how inappropriate they had become. He didn't feel as though his thoughts were lascivious, necessarily. But he knew that they were inappropriate to be having about a friend. Until he knew how Anne felt directly, without the influence of the mandate of the other girls, she was his friend alone. She had agreed to be his friend and that was more than enough. He wouldn't indulge his hopes, but God he hoped.

He looked around at the passing scenery and realized they'd been walking in silence for almost half the journey. Hopefully he hadn't been staring. Well, at least he hadn't tripped over anything. Gilbert wondered what Anne was thinking. He glanced over to find her walking with her gaze lowered, biting her lip, deep in thought. He faltered, paused.

She stopped too. She looked so sad. Her eyes were dry, but she carried such a weight on her shoulders.

"Gilbert?"

"What are you thinking? Right this moment. Will you tell me?"

Anne didn't know what she was thinking, not precisely. Her memories of her life before Avonlea were...foggy. Not gone, not forgotten, but...dormant. Her ghosts remained well…ghosts. But she knew that going to the orphanage would stir everything up again. And having Gilbert there, too. She didn't want him to see where she'd come from. But he had told her she was brave! And oh, how she wanted to be. She knew pushing him away now would be cowardly, but she wanted to do that too. Would he think differently of her? Would he see the "dirty orphan" that everyone else did? She asked herself why what he thought always mattered, but didn't have an answer. She just knew that it did.

He'd asked her a question, right? It was...

"I don't know what I'm thinking. I suppose I'm afraid of what I might learn. Of how it'll change things. If I want to learn the truth, I have to risk learning that the truth is something bad. But what if it is something bad? What if people think differently of me? I can imagine so many possibilities."

"Anne, it wouldn't change anything."

"What do you mean? It changes everything! Who I am-"

"Who you are isn't determined by who your family was. But that's besides the point. I wasn't trying to argue. What I meant was it doesn't change how much you're loved. It can add, sure, and I'll be glad if it does. But if it doesn't, it doesn't mean you lose. Everyone who loves you now will continue to do so, and that number is greater than you might suspect. "

He was looking at her again. Why did he have to be so handsome?

Anne, abashed at her own foolish whimsy (a rare occurrence), began walking once more along the road.

Gilbert, embarrassed by his own emotion, made the rest of the way to Dr. Ward's office in silence. Gilbert knew he was technically late, and felt guiltier still at his impulse, since he would be cancelling the session, but he knew accompanying Anne on her journey was the right call. Especially now, that he understood what was truly tied up in the quest. Gilbert could only imagine how much Anne was holding back. Her continued silence was unnerving, but Gilbert did not want to force her confidence a second time. He hoped she would share her thoughts with him eventually, but trusted her to find her own timing. He hoped that she believed him, that she knew that she was still very much loved by everyone back home. And, by him. He could admit it now. Hearing her heartrending plea on the train to know if she was loved, spoke to him in a way that he hadn't understood could be possible. It was as if the words echoed down to his very core and he wanted only to refute her and say that she was loved, by him. By Gilbert Blythe. He'd do all he could to help her find out about her history. Even if her family were all long gone, just to know their names. He understood the need. He couldn't imagine not knowing his family, even though they were gone, too.

Gilbert understood why she wanted to make this journey, he just didn't understand why she felt like so much was tied up in with it. He wasn't stupid, he knew that a lot of orphans didn't get that way because their parents died. He knew what Anne was afraid to learn. Or he suspected, anyway. Since she hadn't actually told him. But even if that was the truth. If Anne's parents had chosen to give her away, then it was their loss. It didn't make her worth any less. She was priceless to him.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Blythe. You're late!" They were greeted by a soft feminine voice as Gilbert held open the door for Anne to enter before following her into the office.

"Oh, hello." Anne matched the melodious voice to the young blonde woman, beautiful as an angel, standing in a nearby doorway. Anne battled with a sudden influx of insecurity, this was the kind of woman she felt Gilbert should marry. They might even be the same age.

"Hello, Miss Rose. This is my friend Anne. I'm afraid I'm going to have to miss my session today. I need to let the Doctor know. Is he in his office?"

"Nice to meet you, Anne. And no, unfortunately. He's with a patient at present. If you'd like to leave a note, I'll be sure he gets it!"

She seemed kind, Anne thought. And did she work in the office? Anne wondered if Miss Rose wanted to be a doctor like Gilbert. That'd be wonderful, she thought, and resolved to get to know the girl better while Gilbert wrote his note for the doctor.

"Do you enjoy your work for Dr. Ward, Miss Rose?" That seemed like a safe topic. Miss Rose seemed so sophisticated to Anne, it made her nervous.

The woman smiled softly and and answered, "I do enjoy it a great deal. And please call me Winifred, Miss Anne...?"

"Oh! Anne Shirley-Cuthbert, of Green Gables. But Anne is fine... Winifred."

Winifred seemed hesitant to continue, so Anne let the conversation drop. She felt...oddly dissatisfied by this encounter, as though it had ended prematurely. She got the sense that Winifred had a great deal to say, and so she was flummoxed by the young woman's reluctance to speak. But before she could think on it further, Gilbert rejoined them and he and Anne were quickly on their way to Miss Josephine Barry's.

"What did you tell the doctor? " Anne asked him while they walked.

"I told him that something personal had come up and that I'd discuss it further with him next week. I wasn't sure how much you would want me to reveal, so I kept the note pretty vague. "

"Oh. You can tell him the truth, I don't mind. It's not a secret, after all"

"Thank you, Anne"

She smiled softly at him and they made their way up the gravel drive. As the house came into view she noticed the sun light shining against a head of blonde hair. Someone stood by the door. It was Cole! Forgetting for a moment about Gilbert, Anne broke into a run, anxious to greet her dear friend.

Gilbert, meanwhile, continued up the drive at his current pace, amused and charmed by Anne's exuberance. A small part of him wanted to feel jealous at the obvious affection she felt for the other boy, but Gilbert knew that that would be entirely unfair of him to feel that way. He didn't own Anne, wouldn't try to control her. He only wished for her happiness, and it was clear that the other boy's friendship made her very happy. They were still hugging when he made it to where they were standing, so Gilbert resolved to wait until they were finished. It didn't take long.

"Oh!" Anne gasped, and pulled away from Cole. "Gilbert, you remember Cole from school, right? Gilbert will be accompanying us as well, Cole, if that's all right."

"Of course, Anne, Gilbert. The more the merrier. Please come in. Anne, Aunt Jo is upstairs. We have an idea to run by you, before we go. Gilbert, I can show you into the library if you'd like. We won't be long."

Gilbert acquiesced, and so the trio climbed the staircase. Cole left Gilbert to the books, and then led Anne to Josephine's bedroom. He knocked softly, and the door was opened by the woman herself.

"Hello, dear Anne! Lovely to see you. Off on another adventure, Cole tells me. Well, I'd like to offer a small suggestion, if you'd be amenable."

"Of course, I would be amenable, Aunt Jo. Your advice means a great deal to me."

"Well, Cole and I were discussing and... I fear that you may be disappointed on this journey."

"Oh, dearest Aunt Josephine. I treasure your concern. Truly, I do. I know that, I may end up learning something I didn't want to. I have to know the truth, though."

"We understand the need that drives you, Anne, " Cole rebutted. "Aunt Jo meant that you may be disappointed in a different way. I'm old enough to escort you, but we're the same age. I have just as much of a chance of being dismissed as a kid as you do. Although, it might be different now that Gilbert is with us, since he's older. Anyway, Aunt Josephine thought that if you and I looked a bit older, we may have an easier time getting the information you need."

"Oh, that IS a good idea. Although, I don't have anything that would-"

"Never fear, dear." The older woman interrupted. "I have more than enough to spare."

Aunt Jo led her behind an ornate dressing screen in her bedroom and helped Anne to change into what she'd provided. Leaving the accoutrements of girlhood behind her, Anne dressed quickly in the undergarments, light green skirt, lace blouse, and jacket. The corset wrapped around her waist felt alien, but she loved how mature it made her feel. Aunt Jo was right. Adults were taken more seriously than children.

"Perfect!" Cole cried upon seeing her ensemble. "Except the braids. Aunt Jo, I think we'll need you to work your magic!"

Soon Anne was polished and coiffed, a small green ladies' hat pinned to her curls completing her look. She felt womanly, but she also felt like a girl playing at being a woman. She wondered what Gilbert would think, but then quickly pushed the thoughts away. This wasn't about Gilbert, it was about her. Her mission of self discovery. Resolute, Anne thanked her friends for their kindness and the party left to meet Gilbert in the library. They would need to leave soon in order to make the ferry, so Rollings was sent to ensure that the carriage was ready.

Gilbert was fascinated by the library. A large, wood-panelled room with soft leather chairs, a fireplace, and more books than he'd seen together at one time in his whole life. It was an intellectual haven. He could spend weeks in this room and never get bored. Briefly, he wondered about Anne, why Cole had pulled her away, but he figured he'd find out soon enough. They would be leaving in a little while to meet the ferry. Gilbert found himself in the philosophy section and decided to browse. Time passed quickly, and he was startled by the door opening.

"Lovely to see you again, young Mr. Blythe, " Miss Josephine Barry addressed him as she entered. Presumably Cole entered with her, but Gilbert was no longer aware. The entirety of his focus was on the siren who came in last. He was stunned. Speechless. He'd always thought Anne was beautiful, even if he didn't consciously admit it. But seeing her now was something new. The lace of her blouse emphasized the pale, cinnamon-speckled cream of her skin. And the green of the skirt and jacket contrasted vividly with her Titian hair and sapphire eyes, making both appear brighter, and more lovely in his gaze. Once again he found himself mesmerized by this girl-no, woman.

"What do you think, Gilbert? Do I look the part? Aunt Jo thought we'd have an easier time if we looked older. Well, if Cole and I looked older, that is. So, he's wearing a new suit and Aunt Jo let me borrow... "

Anne trailed of once she became aware of Gilbert staring. It unnerved her. Was he even blinking?

"You look beautiful, Anne" He said, softly. He seemed unaware that he'd spoken aloud.

She'd heard him, though. Anne didn't have too much time to think about what he'd said, though, because Rollings came then to announce that the carriage was ready. The trio quickly said their goodbyes and departed.

Soon Anne was on her way to meet her destiny.