Dedicated to rusalkaz
"I just don't understand how we're supposed to help in this situation…"
Rikuou glanced at Kazahaya next to him as they navigated the winding streets to Watanuki's apartment. It was surprisingly a long way from the drug store and hardly in what would be considered the good section of town. It hinted that perhaps Watanuki was having a harder time in his life than just with spirits.
"I mean, it's not like we're lovers!"
That was true enough, he supposed, but ever since he had seen Doumeki Shizuka kiss Watanuki, thoughts he hadn't once entertained were slowly coming to the forefront. Thoughts would plague him about how Kazahaya really was rather attractive. It hadn't occurred to him and he wondered what it would be like to kiss a boy. More specifically, what would it be like to kiss Kazahaya?
Maybe these thoughts came about because he had been in such danger of losing this loudmouth, lacking common sense partner of his after being with him for so many months. It wasn't a pleasant thought knowing that when he woke up, Kazahaya might not be there. He'd gotten used to his complaining and going after to clean up the mess that the boy got himself in.
"Stop complaining," he muttered and crossed his arms, unnerved by where his trains of thoughts were going. "Aren't you at all worried about Watanuki?"
"You know I am, jerk! He's a really nice guy that's probably just terrified of stepping outside of his door!"
Unexpectedly, Rikuou felt a pang of jealousy. Kazahaya really was truly concerned about Watanuki. But why on earth would he feel jealous? Even if Doumeki, and by extension Watanuki, were gay, that didn't mean that Kazahaya was. But now that he was thinking about it, Kazahaya resembled Watanuki a lot. Not so much in looks, but in personality. It struck him that they were both quite obtuse about a lot of things.
Despite what Kazahaya thought, Rikuou had actually thought Kazahaya had looked interesting and rather…pretty in that wedding dress a few weeks ago. Not to mention, he'd gotten a hold of a picture of said boy in said wedding dress. He had originally kept it for blackmailing purposes, but he'd caught himself looking at it every so often.
"I just don't know how we're supposed to help him with the…stuff about Doumeki-san."
"We won't talk about that stuff, idiot. You do remember that we went on a terrifying, dangerous job and almost died? You would think that someone kissing him wouldn't be nearly as bothersome as what he had to go through. Considering what his powers are, it was probably the worst for him than anyone else."
Rikuou blinked as suddenly Kazahaya flushed and looked away with a huff. "I know that! I haven't forgotten!" The shoulders slumped as he watched him and the voice lowered to a whisper. "Wish I could forget. Every time I blink or close my eyes, all the stuff is still in my head."
His hand twitched and he reached over to ruffle his friend's brown hair. "Don't worry so much about it. It'll fade in time."
"Rikuou…?"
"Hmm?"
Their eyes met and Rikuou found himself standing still with Kazahaya beside him. Silence in the street enclosed them and he found himself lost in the wide-eyed light brown gaze that was somehow so different from before. After that little job, Kazahaya had seemed down. Even his outbursts when they fought weren't as energetic as before.
His hand slid down to gently touch Kazahaya's chin and he watched as a faint red tinge slowly heated those cute cheeks. Wait, cute? Why was he holding Kazahaya's face like a lover would? Shaking his head, he let go and started walking again.
There was silence as Kazahaya caught up to him, but neither seemed to have any inclination to bring up what had happened before. Rikuou kept telling himself that he had not been about to kiss the annoying boy next to him, but no matter how many times he chanted it in his head, it did not change the fact that his heart and instincts told him that he had very much been close to kissing him.
They had never said they hated each other, like Doumeki and Watanuki, but their relationship was nowhere near like that.
Not at all.
Watanuki lifted his head tiredly when the sound of his doorbell intruded onto his daze as he sat at his table drinking what had to be his fiftieth coffee. He hadn't slept yet. He didn't want to sleep because if he did, he'd dream about what he'd seen in that house.
And he'd think about Doumeki kissing him.
He tried to ignore the doorbell, but when he thought whoever it was had given up, there was a banging on the door instead. Frowning, he stood up, wobbling a little on his feet, and slowly slinked to the door. It was so hard to keep his eyes open…every time he blinked, his eyelids didn't seem to want to go back up.
"Yes?" he muttered, opening the door to hopefully glare away whoever was there.
"Watanuki-san?"
Wait, he knew that concerned voice. Unchaining the door, he opened it wider and blinked several times so that he could see more details. "Kudou-san? Himura-san? What are you doing here?" How did they even know where he lived?
…Oh wait, probably that damn Yuuko.
"Watanuki-san! You look terrible!"
Was it Rikuou or Kazahaya that somehow managed to manhandle the door open? He wasn't in any state to really take notice, sleep deprived as he was. He did register the hands that gripped his upper arms and faint, light brown eyes staring at him worriedly.
"Have you bathed yet? Where are your glasses? You don't look like you've slept since you got home…did you go home right after…that?"
That…? Oh, that! The kiss was what he meant right? He shook his head, not sure at what. "I think I went straight home, but I don't really remember. I don't want to sleep."
Watanuki missed what Kazahaya said after that as he had a momentary lapse in hearing. Perhaps it was a moment of insensibility, because the next thing he knew, Kazahaya's arms were around his shoulders and he was being dragged down the hall to his bathroom.
"Rikuou, make him something to eat. Just anything."
"What are you going to do?"
"Get him a bath, what else!"
"Looks like he might pass out the moment you get him in there."
"…Well, then I'll stay with him and make sure he stays awake and help him."
There was a distinct pause that made Watanuki look up. Rikuou had the most peculiar look on his face. The only word that he could think of to describe it would be jealous, but what would Rikuou be jealous about? What was this strange, awkward feel in the air all of a sudden?
"…Fine."
"Come on, Watanuki-san. You'll feel better after a bath."
It took both of them to get himself undressed. He wouldn't have dared to allow it normally, but he didn't have the energy to even argue about it. At least it was Kazahaya and not Doumeki. He would not have himself looking so weak in front of Doumeki.
His cheeks burned in a blush as he thought about Doumeki and the fact that his eternal rival had stolen his first kiss from him. He just wanted to hide, but he knew that eventually, he would have to go to school. Eventually, he'd have to go to work. Eventually, he'd have to face Doumeki.
"Watanuki-san? Is something wrong? Please get in the tub."
Kazahaya seemed quite capable of taking care of someone, he thought as he slid into the tub. The heat was almost scalding and he winced at the heat that seared his skin. It made his eyelids droop almost instantly, and if it hadn't been for Kazahaya consistently talking to him, he probably would have passed out and drowned in the bath.
"Did something happen between you and Himura-san, Kudou-san?"
His friend blinked and then flushed red. "I don't really know, Watanuki-san." He shifted until he was comfortable next to the tub and Watanuki watched him through a sleepy haze.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, on the way here…he was acting strange. He…he almost seemed like…I don't know…" The boy huffed and crossed his arms. "He's never usually nice and all, but this time…it was like down in the basement of that house. He was gentle and seemed…really concerned about me." The red on his cheeks deepened and he muttered something behind his hand.
"What?"
"I said it was almost like he was going to kiss me or something! How weird is that! We don't have that kind of…thing going. We barely tolerate each other!" Their gazes met again. "What do you think, Watanuki-san? Don't you think that's strange!"
"Sounds like me and Doumeki," he muttered and stared at the ceiling. "I can't stand Doumeki. I'm always fighting with him. He's always making me angry. But I guess it's like Yuuko-san says. I don't really hate him…Ah, what am I saying! Of course I hate him! All I have to do is look at that annoying face and his expressionless tone and I get angry all over again!" He rubbed his face hard with his hands.
Kazahaya didn't say anything for a long moment. "Yeah, I think it's like that."
Watanuki looked up. "What, Kudou-san?"
"Oh, it's nothing. I was just thinking about some stuff." There was a pause. "Um, Watanuki-san, I know you probably don't want to talk about this kind of stuff and all, but I think it's like you just said now."
"About what?"
"About Doumeki-san. You don't really hate him, but seeing you just makes you so angry and irritated. He gets under your skin the way no one else can. You find that suddenly, that if you don't get irritated or if he's not around, that something's not right. And…you start to miss him when he's not there." Kazahaya seemed to be steadfastly staring at the floor even as Watanuki stared at him. "And you start thinking that if you don't get irritated, then maybe he get concerned about you and you don't want that…You don't want him to think you're weak, even when you can't control yourself and want to scream. When you want to appear strong, but you're terrified and you don't want to let him know that. And you get the feeling that when you're out on these jobs, that so long as he's there, it doesn't matter how dangerous it is, everything is somehow going to turn out all right. Just because he's there…"
"…are we talking about Doumeki and me or you and Himura-san…?"
Kazahaya's head snapped up in shock and he was frantically shaking his head, but Watanuki's gaze seemed to wilt him. His cheeks were even redder and he looked away. "I guess I was talking about me, maybe, but it also applies to you, doesn't it? Isn't that how you feel?"
Watanuki looked at the water and let it run through his fingers before answering. "…Yeah, I guess you're right. You got it really pegged."
Bitter laughter filled the bathroom and he looked at Kazahaya in curiosity. Those light brown eyes were depressed and he shook his head, scratching his head in a resigned way. "We got it bad, don't we?"
Watanuki could only laugh in return, in the same way. Kazahaya had it right all right. He really was in deep, too deep. "You're right, we do."
"At least you know about Doumeki-san's feelings. Even if he did it rather abruptly and wasn't perhaps the most ideal way…"
"Kudou-kun…"
"Damn stupid Rikuou! What am I supposed to do now! I can't stand feeling like this!"
Watanuki had no answer for him and could only sit in the tub as he watched Kazahaya cry out his frustrations.
End
