I don't own Anne with an E.

[Hey, all. I know it's been a long time since I have updated but i hope you enjoy this chapter!]

Gilbert Blythe was no stranger to illness. And so, after three days with Mary still too weak to leave her bed, He decided it was time to bring in a doctor. What he hadn't expected was for the local doctor to deem treating a black woman with a minor cut, to be so far beneath his dignity as to be impossible. Gilbert would never understand how people who claimed to profess ideals of charity and compassion, could then so be so deliberate in withholding them, just because the person in need looked different from them. After all, Dr. Jones never missed a Sunday sermon, and though grief had since muddied the waters of his memory, Gilbert still recalled the kindness and diligence that Dr. Jones had shown in his care of Gilbert's late father. Despite the older man's moral failing, Gilbert knew that Mary's condition was serious enough to warrant medical intervention. Thus, Gilbert found himself once more on the train ride to Charlottetown, in hopes that he could convince his mentor, Dr. Ward, to come instead.

Staring dispassionately at the passing scenery outside the train window, Gilbert thought about his family. Who could have thought that so much good would come from his wayward trip to outrun his grief by joining that steamer crew? It felt like a lifetime had passed. Gilbert was so grateful for Bash. But if anything, his love for his newfound family only made the thought of losing more painful. Thank God for Anne. While they hadn't spoken again of the kiss in the orphanage, Gilbert recognized a warmth in her manner towards him that he hadn't experienced before. It was a small change, and it had gone unnoticed by the other students, who were consumed with the idea of a printing press for their newspaper, but Gilbert noticed the increase in smiles and eye contact. It gave him a sense of peace that, in all honesty, felt quite foreign to him. But it was a tangible thing. Perhaps, because he knew that no matter what happened on the other side of this trial, Anne would be by his side. As a friend for certain, but perhaps as something more.

If only Anne could see him now. He felt almost whimsical, even in the face of this uncertainty. He decided that he would discuss his feelings about Anne with Mary once he returned to Avonlea. She was the closest thing to a mother that he had, and he wanted her advice.

Gilbert's thoughts were interrupted by the high-pitched squealing and clanging that preceded the train pulling into the Charlottetown station. Duty called.

XXXXXXXXXX

Anne loved the feeling of being needed. Not out of any desire to lord it over those who needed her, but rather because it gave her a certainty of belonging. This was her place and these were her people. Her family. And so, when Sebastian announced that Mary was still under the weather, she knew exactly what she needed to do. Despite her recent disagreement with Marilla, Anne saw the same sense of love and duty in the older woman's eyes. So, they determined to head for the Blythe-LeCroix household posthaste. After all, Matthew, despite his obvious discomfiture at the thought of being a caretaker, was more than capable of looking after baby Delphine. He was a wonderful father to Anne and an excellent caretaker toward their various animals. He simply had to believe in himself, she resolved as she joined Marilla aboard their cart and they pulled away from Green Gables.

She hoped that Dr. Ward would return with Gilbert. While she hadn't met the man personally, she couldn't help but feel that he was a good man, having earned the admiration of her closest friend. For that was what Gilbert had become over these past few days. Each day before school, she rushed out of the house as early as she could in the hope of meeting Gilbert on his way. She had a sneaking suspicion that he, too, was leaving earlier than usual, as it seemed each progressing day they had more time to talk before any other children arrived. Once that happened, Anne would retreat with the girls, and Gilbert would go back to his book. Neither felt ready to share the newfound feelings between them with the others. Anne for fear of being rejected once more, and Gilbert, she suspected, for fear of causing more hardship for Anne.

However, this uncertainty about Mary's condition sparked a determination in Anne. Life was tenuous. Ephemeral. Though no less beautiful for all its fragility. Anne knew very well how quickly life can turn completely upside-down. Despite the strong roots she'd since put down in Avonlea, Anne well remembered her first thirteen years away. One simply never knew what the day would bring. She needed to end the ambiguity with Gilbert. But how to do it? Perhaps she could discuss things with Mary today. Anne warmed to the idea and decided to do just that.

XXXXXXXXXX

Anne hadn't expected Mary to be so weak. Logically she knew that the older woman was still bedridden from necessity, and so would be quite weak, and yet, upon walking into that bedroom, she was struck by a sense of the wrongness of it all. Death, the interloper, was knocking on the door, prying his icy fingers into the keyholes, trying to find anchorage on this house. Hope sang like a canary in the darkness, as her friend's tired visage pulled itself into a warm but weary smile.

"Hello, Anne!" Mary said, upon seeing the young woman. She similarly greeted Marilla upon seeing her. Mary may not have the sense of community that she'd felt in the bog, but she had this family. And it was priceless.

Marilla and Anne had a short visit with Mary before setting to work in the kitchen. Once their work was finished, Anne left the house as though heading toward the school, before circling back once Marilla was out of sight.

"Mary?" She called quietly, not wishing to wake the other woman in case she'd dozed off.

"Anne? I thought you'd left for school?" Mary responded immediately, and so Anne entered the room and sat at her friend's bedside.

"I did. But then I came back. I wanted to talk to you about something…" Anne trailed off, unsure how to broach the subject.

Mary, despite her infirmity, could sense Anne's conflicted feelings. Mustering what energy she had left, Mary leaned forward and grasped Anne's pale hand with her own. It was trembling.

"Anne, what is it?" She pressed. "You can tell me anything, you know."

"I know. I'm just not sure how to bring it up. How…. how did you know when you loved Bash?"

Not expecting this line of questioning, Mary was somewhat nonplussed, she regained her equilibrium quickly, however, and suspecting her young friend's true motives in asking, decided to be as forthright as possible even though, in practice, she had denied her true feelings for some time before finally allowing them to spring forth.

"You and I are not so very different Anne. We both know how the world will take from you until you have nothing to give and then cast you aside for the next person available. It's a hard truth to face, but face it we must. I've known mean men, and I've known kind ones, but what never changed was the root of the kindness or the meanness. I had something and they wanted it. Bash was different. IS different. When I met him, he didn't want to take anything from me. He wanted to give things to me-Not gold, or fine jewels, though I know he would if he had them to give-No, he laid before me the most precious thing he had in his possession: his heart. And so, I offered mine in return. Anne, men will promise you the world: wealth, position, a fine house, carriages. They will feed you with their words and starve you with their actions. I say this not to make you bitter. I would never dream of dampening the hope inside you. But I know how much you love…..well, love. I knew I loved Bash because of his actions. Because he showed me his true character in what he did, and not just what he said. That is the true mark of a man worth loving."

Mary could see that Anne was thinking very deeply about what she had said. She was certain that Anne hadn't expected such a stark answer, but she also knew that Anne was made of sterner stuff than the average young woman. Anne would be stifled in the life of a society woman, would be smothered by the disappointment of unmet expectations if she gave her heart to someone who didn't love her for her true self. However, she also understood what a tremendous gift it was to be loved by someone who truly saw you as their equal.

"Gilbert is very like Sebastian in this way," Mary added, feeling a sense of mischief at Anne's shocked countenance.

"Gilbert?! I-what?" Anne took a deep breath. This was, after all, what she truly came to speak about. "How did you know?"

"I have eyes, dear Anne. And ears. Though I'm stuck in this bed, my senses haven't failed me yet. The way that you too moon after each other is quite obvious. If it were meant to be a secret, you were not hiding it very well."

Mary's words froze the rebuttal on Anne's lips. The way we moon AFTER EACH OTHER? What was Mary saying? Could Gilbert possibly feel about her the way she felt about him? She could admit it to herself now. Anne Shirley-Cuthbert liked Gilbert Blythe. Maybe more than liked, she wasn't certain. This was something she had never experienced before. Every sensation was foreign and yet deliriously wonderful!

"Anne!"

Anne realized with Mary's exclamation that the other woman had been trying to get her attention for a few minutes.

"Sorry, Mary. I was lost in thought."

"I thought as much Anne, but there's something else I must tell you. Love is a wonderful thing, my dear girl. Romantic love, when both partners are devoted to the other, well, there's nothing like it. But it's not the only kind of love in this world. Nor will it give you purpose and fulfillment, if you make it your sole reason for living. You are still Anne, and you are still worthwhile, even if things with Gilbert don't end up how you imagine. I can't say for certain how he feels. We haven't discussed it. What I will tell you is this: follow your heart and chase your dreams. If Gilbert is meant to share that journey with you, God will find a way to work it out. Put your trust in Him. Now, off to school with you!"

Laughing at the shooing motion the other woman made with her final words, Anne left the house and made her way to school. She would be very late, but it was worth it. Anne resolved to do exactly as Mary had said. She would trust God with the desires of her heart. After all, he had blessed her so much since coming to Avonlea. He wouldn't abandon her now.