Disclaimer: Not mine, all Dick's.
A/N – Not a sequel or anything to "The One Off", just an idea that popped into my head driving home tonight. I must warn you…no happy ending. Please review. Thanks.
Bobby lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. He lay there and watched a house spider make its way across the ceiling from one corner to another. If Alex had seen this, she'd be all over him to get it down. She couldn't stand the thought of a spider falling down on her while she slept. He smiled half-heartedly. Bobby looked at his clock - six in the morning. He could hear the baby crawling around in her crib. He glanced at the spider again. Enough, he thought. He pulled himself out of his bed, careful not to look at the empty side, the side where the blankets hadn't been touched and the pillow was missing. He pulled on his robe and padded down to the baby's room.
Nan was standing up in her crib. She had just learned to pull herself up. She smiled at her father, making happy baby noises at him. Her fine blonde hair stuck up everywhere, her one tooth shining at him. He picked her up and changed her diaper. He walked with her on his hip into the kitchen to make her rice cereal and her bottle. The phone rang. Bobby ignored it. The answering machine clicked on.
"Bobby, it's Carolyn. Um," her voice choked up on the tape. There was a shuffle and a new voice came on. "Bobby, it's Deakins. We'll be there at eight." There was a pause, like his captain wanted to say something else. The line went dead. Dead. Hmm, Bobby thought. His daughter slapped at the spoon in his hand, sending rice cereal everywhere. Her laugh sounded like little bells. He stooped to get the spoon, rinsing it off and started over again.
After getting Nan dressed in the outfit she'd worn for Christmas just two weeks ago, a little green dress with ribbons and lace that Alex absolutely had to have for her, Bobby put her down in her playpen so he could get dressed. He pulled out his dress blues, right down to the hat and the polished to a shine black shoes. He put his badge in his pocket and his gun in his holster. He went to grab his keys from the nightstand. His eyes fell upon the ring box. He sank down on the bed and opened it. The diamond ring sparkled at him and he remembered the look on Alex's face when she opened it. She had thrown her arms around him, so happy. She admitted she'd been mad when on Christmas he didn't give it to her. Everyone expected it, herself included. He didn't even do it on New Year's either. Bobby was anything but predictable. The 6th of January. He proposed to her on the 6th of January. He remembers the officers knocking on his door, someone from the 31st precinct, he can't remember who. He was in the middle of giving Nan her bath, remembers putting her little baby robe on and carrying her to the door with him. He saw the officers' faces and nearly dropped the baby. The female officer took her out of his arms. The male officer patted him on the shoulder, regretting his career choice right then, having to tell a fellow officer the mother of his child was killed in the line of duty. Bobby sighed and put the ring back in the box.
Eight in the morning. Bobby had been sitting in the car on the side of the cemetery road for ten minutes, playing with Nan. Another car pulled up behind him. He looked in the rearview mirror. It was Carolyn and Mike. Both were in their dress blues as well. Bobby got and out and walked around to the side of the car to get Nan out of her car seat. She was saying 'ma' over and over again, as if she knew what was missing, but she was too happy. He knew she didn't understand what was going on. But with each 'ma' he felt his heart break a little more. He was surprised there was anything left to break.
Carolyn reached him first. She reached up and hugged him hard. "Bobby, I'm so sorry." She started crying again. The baby reached out to her and grabbed her hat, her long black curls tumbling over her shoulders. Carolyn laughed through her tears. "You little stinker!" Carolyn coughed, cried and laughed all at once. "Let me take her Bobby. People are starting to show up." Bobby looked around, seeing his almost in-laws pulling up. Carolyn took Nan from him and put her hat on her head, talking to her in a singsong voice as tears dripped down her cheeks as she walked away.
Mike patted Bobby on the back. "Man, I'm so sorry." Bobby nodded. Mike understood. Not on a personal level, but he understood how Bobby operated. He just stood by him while Alex's mom and dad came up to hug him, followed by Alex's sister. Her nephew came running up to him. Bobby scooped him up in his arms.
"Where's Aunt Alex, Uncle Bobby? And Nana!" Alex's sister took him over from Bobby, who was sensing a breakdown of some sort. This little creature that she carried selflessly for her sister…
"I just have to get away for a second." Everyone nodded and turned to go up to the gravesite. Mike stayed behind, leaning against the car with him. Mike pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Bobby gratefully took one. They smoked in silence, waiting for everyone to arrive. Deakins found them just like that, leaning against the car, cigarette in hand, looking every bit the handsome police officers they were. He hugged Bobby and took a drag off Mike's cigarette.
"Bobby, I hate to bring this up, but I wanted to tell you. She did shoot him after he shot her. It was the last thing she did. He's dead too now. We just weren't sure at the time if it was their guys or her. She killed her killer." Deakins knew he was babbling. It was just too much of a shock. He had called Carolyn and Alex out on a case. Supposed to be open and shut, pick up the perp, bring him back, make him sweat and book him. It didn't go down that way at all. Carolyn went around to the back, her back-up guys following her. Alex had gone in through the front. Her back-up guys were close, but not close enough. The perp jumped out at her and shot her in the chest. Somehow, Alex managed pull her trigger, getting him in the head. Everyone thought it was the back-up, but the ballistics guy put it together – the bullet was from Alex's gun. The 31st precinct was sharing this case with MCS. Carolyn didn't have the heart to break Bobby's; she let the two officers go up there. "I just thought you'd like to know." Deakins placed a hand on Bobby's shoulder. Bobby nodded at Deakins. Thank you."
Carolyn made her way back around to the gravesite, Nan in her arms. The kid looked so much like Alex it was scary. Same blonde hair, brown eyes, and what a tiny baby she'd been. Carolyn remembered sitting on one side of Alex and Bobby on the other, both urging her to push. Nanette Olivia Goren was born the 25th of March at three in the morning. She weighed six pounds even, and looked smaller. Alex's mother insisted Alex looked the same way when she gave birth to her. It was clear now that Nan was going to be as tall as her father. Bobby had fallen asleep later that night and Carolyn stayed up with Alex, discussing how much fun it would be to start their partnership when she got back from maternity leave. Deakins had split up Alex and Bobby just as she went on leave. The upper brass had found out about them and Deakins couldn't pull any more strings. It worked out; Bobby got Mike and Alex got Carolyn. Alex asked Carolyn to be Nan's godmother, and Mike was her godfather. Carolyn laughed as she thought back at what a kick Mike got out of that one. She felt horrible, not being the one to tell Bobby about Alex, but she just lost it. She cried herself to sleep that night, had gone over to Mike's place.
TBC
