Disclaimer: We totally own it. Especially Yuki Eiri. We rape him lots. Interestingly. Since he's animated and all. But then again… Nevermind.


Shigure threw open the futsuma with great pizzazz and pulled in his blond friend by the scruff of his neck, as though he were some damned cat. In return, he received a very angry glare.

Sohma Yuki was sitting at a table in the den, munching on some spicy marmalade and watching a Bad Luck music video. He quirked his elegant, silver head coquettishly to the side, "Who is your friend?"

"He's the flavour of the week!" Shigue grinned widely and little stars appeared about the house, wondering what they were doing there.

Yuki Eiri hissed and swiped his hand in a clawing motion.

Sohma Yuki stared at the beautiful blond man before him. And it was love at first hiss.

It was then that Yuki Eiri noticed the unusual cropping of the smaller boy's hair. How it was slightly longer on one side of his face than the other. Like an emo kid.

It was love at first hair-analysis.

"Is that," A dramatic pause, "Spicy marmalade you're eating?"

Sohma Yuki flipped a long, moon-kissed hair (just one) behind his shoulder and spoke with a low, husky tone, "Why, yes. It is!"

"That annoying kid who hangs around my apartment all the time is always singing about that stuff!" Yuki Eiri said.

"Does he really!"

"Why, yes, he does!"

"Oh, Yuki!" Yuki exclaimed with eyes full of joy.

"Yuki!" Yuki responded with pretty hair.

"Yuki!"

"Yuki!"

"Yuki!" And they called unto one another on into the night. And then they had a cigarette. And it was great! (Because we are, after all, talking about Yuki Eiri.)

Shigure shut his door very confused.


This was a very remarkable event. We discovered that "analyzation" is not a word! That America is foiled! The very foundation on which we based our English grammar studies is ripped into ungodly fibres. What are fibres?

Pat: Ima, did you mean "fibers"?

No, I meant fibres. "Fee-breys".

Pat: Could you please tell me and our beloved audience what a "fibre" is?

No, I cannot. But it's not a fiber!

So, eat your fiber. Not your fibre. And give us a Million's comments.

Pat: Wait. Ima, who is Million? Are you seeing someone else on the side? I demand to know! Who is this Million, hmm?

Your mom. (Spicey Marma!)

Pat: Oh…my bad. Yes, so give us my mom's comments!