Thank you for the reviews.

I think you will be happy to hear that this is one that goes away from canon. Mainly because I think that this could have been done so much better.

And I think this is how we envisioned it as well... or one of the ways that the end of S04E01 could have been done better.


Three: The Reveal

When your OTP confessed their feelings. Or were their feelings originally a secret until someone else intervened?


Here was how Eddie envisioned it.

He envisioned that he would go for those drinks with Rachel at the end of term, just to test the waters and see if he could work out if she was felt the same way that he did. They would then have the last term of the school year, which was equally stressful as much as a sigh of relief that the school year was almost over. They would get over those stresses and Eddie, after building the confidence, would ask her out properly, if he knew it was something that she wanted as well. The six weeks of the summer holidays would be equally them planning out the new school year while (hopefully) they would also be working on their relationship and becoming closer.

But that isn't how it happened.

What happened was that a fire broke out and Rachel somehow got caught up in it (with Eddie managing to swallow his anger at who she was found in the rubble with). What happened was that Rachel's job was under threat by the governors and Eddie knew where she was best placed. What happened was that Eddie focused on the school so much, because he thought that was what Rachel would have wanted him to do, that he didn't get the chance to see her or visit her until she was almost back.

Maybe he should have made the time. Maybe he should have shown her that he was there for her. Maybe he should have said more that day.

And so he was excited. And maybe a little too excited.

"I just want to talk." He said, raising his hand to cup her cheek, the liquid courage getting to him.

Maybe he wasn't as drunk as he thought as he noticed how unsure Rachel was about the action and he dropped his hand before it reached its destination.

"Rachel?" He said softly.

She closed her eyes and dragged her lip through her teeth. It was strange how Eddie knew that she was fighting with herself. And it was probably a fight between her head and her heart. Or he hoped so. And he hoped her heart would win out.

"About what?" She said.

"Us."

It was stifling. The air seemed to be sucked from the little porch-like area that they were standing in. He just wanted her to say something. He could see that battle within her again. And maybe he shouldn't have been so hopeful. Maybe he had got it wrong. Maybe she didn't feel the same way.

"There is no us. I'm sorry, there's nothing to talk about." She said before she opened the door to leave.

Maybe he should have taken a moment or two to think over his next move before he followed her out. But he didn't, being close behind her to stop her from getting away. He just thought that there was something to talk about.

But then again, maybe she would only believe that there was something if he was sincere about it. He knew her past. He knew where she came from. He knew that she didn't trust people easily. But she had trusted him enough to tell him everything that happened to her. Maybe he just had to wear his heart on his sleeve.

"Rachel." He said as he followed her out.

"Please, Eddie."

That was probably the first warning that this wasn't going to go the way that he wanted it to.

"I just don't understand it. Before the fire…"

"That seems a very long time ago."

"I know, but there was something. I thought we were getting close."

"Things have changed."

That was an admission, wasn't it? That there was something beforehand.

"I'm sorry, then." He said.

It was obviously not what she had been expecting as she opened her mouth to say something before she shut it. She stared at him for a couple of moments and, for reasons that he couldn't explain, he took a small step back.

"What are you apologising for?" She said, sounding unsure.

"I physically haven't been there for you. That I've… focus on the school rather than you. I thought that would be what you wanted from me. But I should have come to visit you."

"No. No. No. You shouldn't have done."

"But Rachel… I don't think you can say that there was nothing between us. And… I'm sorry. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you. I'm sorry that I've guessed what you've wanted from me. And I should have been the one to tell you what happened instead of you finding it out by yourself. I'm sorry that I wasn't a better deputy and friend."

Now he had truly confused her and it was just the way that she blinked at him that made him think that she didn't mean what she was saying and that there was a reason, to her, as to why they wouldn't work. A reason that he didn't want to hear.

"We'll talk in the morning." He said, retreating back into the pub.

He heard her call his name as he stepped back into the noise. Maybe he should have heard what she had to say but she could have followed him back in if she felt like it couldn't wait until the morning. With her not making a reappearance, Eddie could only sigh it off. Knowing that things could have gone in a completely different direction, even if it was still all unknown where they stood.


Rachel was confused and she didn't like it. She could sense that Eddie was trying to push something and she was more than ready to tell him just to leave it. And she was so sure that he was going to push it and, therefore, she would have to reveal the one thing that was going to push him away for good. If she couldn't stand the scar on her chest, then how was he going to take it?

But it didn't get that far. In fact, he had apologised for not being there (however she wouldn't have wanted him to have seen her in the hospital or at home) and he was the one to walk away with her with a 'we'll talk in the morning' just made her wonder what sort of a man Eddie Lawson was.

Maybe it all proved that he was a better man than any other man that she had been with or dealt with in the past.

It completely went back on her plan. She was just going to focus on the school. Her personal life had overshadowed what she was trying to achieve at Waterloo Road. Her personal life had caused scandal and fire. She couldn't allow her personal life to do any more damage to the school.

So whatever was happening with her and Eddie, whatever was building between them, couldn't happen. It was a distraction. It was just another thing that could go wrong. She had stopped him from resigning before. How could she keep him or herself there if they started something only to break up?

She also just couldn't do it.

The mental scars from the fire were just as deep as the burn on her chest but she wasn't going to admit that to anyone. She was their leader. She needed to be strong for everyone.

And she couldn't let Eddie in again. She couldn't allow him to get hurt.

That was why she was confused. Because she was now rethinking everything that she was sure of.

And it was why she was only half listening as her, Eddie and Tom discussed the events of the day before, with her chiming in when she felt like it was appropriate.

"Eddie." She said before he escaped. "About… last night."

"Yeah?" He said, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"Y-y-you said." She cleared her throat. "You said about talking. Now."

"Only if you are okay to talk now."

"Eddie. Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"This."

"Rachel."

"You don't want me." She said, losing her temper with him.

Rachel wanted to take it back the moment that Eddie's face dropped. She knew what she wanted to do but she didn't think that actually doing it would affect her like it was.

"How do you know that?" He said.

"Everything that has happened…"

"Rachel, it doesn't matter. Not anymore."

"You can't say that."

"Yes, I can. Rachel, what's going on? Talk to me." He paused long enough to give her enough time. "You used to trust me. What have I done to make you lose that trust?"

"I-i-it's not you. Eddie, it's nothing you have or could ever do."

"It must have been something."

"Honestly, it is me. I'm… Eddie, I can't do this. I can't let anything else go wrong. I can…"

Rachel knew that her breaths were becoming erratic but she didn't realise that she was going into another panic attack (the second in a 24 hour period) until the same man who calmed her out of the last one once again placed his hands on her shoulders and got her to calm down.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you." Eddie said.

"Will you stop apologising?" She said closing her eyes to try and reorganize her thoughts, grabbing onto his arms as opposed to pushing them off her.

"Not when I caused it."

"Eddie, there was… something." She said as she looked at him. "But… there is no way that I can do it. Not at the moment. I can't. I can't allow anything else to go wrong. I… I need a friend. If anything."

There had been the odd hand on the arm and little touches like that but they hadn't hugged or anything like that. So the hug that Eddie pulled her into was a surprise but she knew that she could have stopped it from happening but didn't. She shouldn't have grabbed onto the back of his blazer like she did but there was a part of her that felt oddly safe in his arms. She was holding onto him, her anchor in the world. If only she could let him in properly. If only she could let him have her heart.

"I can be a friend," Eddie said. "I can be whatever you want me to be. I just… I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"Eddie, you apologise again and we are going to fall out."

"Well, I apologise when I think I've done something wrong."

"Well, you haven't. If anything, I need to apologise to you."

"What for?"

Rachel felt that it was only right that she pulled back to look at him properly. She had no qualms in thinking that Eddie was by her side, whatever they were. Maybe, at some point, Rachel would allow herself to be something more to Eddie.

But now she had to explain what she had done in haste (because she was slightly uncertain on whether she still had his support) and she was sure that Eddie wasn't going to be happy about it.

"I-I've done something stupid. And I already know that you aren't going to like it." She said.

If anything, Rachel knew, deep down, that they were better together. With all the Stuart stuff, Eddie was there and a help once he knew. They made a great team and it was something that she would have to remind herself of every time she wanted to push him away. Because she couldn't lose someone like Eddie from her life. And, God forbid, she needed someone like that to keep her afloat.