Sorry, Nita posted this for me and then we found several problems. Opps! I think we found them all, so happy reading!
When the doors opened and he saw Remus carrying in his godson, Sirius wasn't sure if the boy was dead or alive. He tried to get up out of bed, but Albus had put a distracted hand on his shoulder to keep him in place. It wasn't a hard thing to do, either. He wasn't exactly in the best shape of his life.
"Harry?" he gasped, still trying to rise from his bed. "Please tell me he's okay," he finally managed to say when he realized he wouldn't be allowed up.
Remus shrugged, looking towards Severus for the answers. "I'm not sure," he said quietly, laying the bundle in his arms onto the bed beside Sirius' own. He could at least be thankful they'd put his godson beside him.
"What happened?" asked Albus, seeming to just be coming out of some sort of daze. "He looks so thin," he murmured.
"He is thin," remarked Severus heatedly. "The boy hasn't been fed in weeks!"
"What!" hissed Sirius, gamely attempting to move to the boy's aid once more. "Let go of me Albus, or so help me…" The hand on his shoulder was suddenly gone and Sirius was finally able to move. He hadn't expected the headmaster to let him up. Perhaps it was the shock of Sirius' threat that caused the man to release him. Or perhaps he just wanted to go to Harry himself.
Sirius grasped Harry's small hand in his own large one, holding on as if his touch alone would keep the boy anchored here, with him. He took in Harry's pale features, and was shocked to discover bruises on his chin. Someone had pushed their fingers into Harry's face so hard it had left marks. Sirius gently ran his hand down the boy's face, lowering his own in outrage. "What happened to my godson?" he whispered, his voice taking on a deadly tone.
"We found him handcuffed to his bed and locked in his room. As if he could have gone very far with his door locked, they felt they had to strap him down as well," Remus said, incensed. "Severus is worried about his health," he mentioned, and all eyes swiveled to the dark man now standing with Madam Pomfrey.
"What are they talking about?" asked Sirius, maneuvering Harry's hand until he could hold it in a
more comfortable position. He was afraid he'd hurt the cuts around the boy's wrist as well. They were deep, and he could only assume Harry had struggled against his restraints. The mere idea had his jaw clenched.
Remus sighed darkly, but before he could tell the two men what he'd been told back at the house regarding Harry's health, Severus was rushing back over with Poppy, both carrying vials and brandishing their wands.
"What's going on?" asked Sirius as Poppy took Harry's hand out of his own and began running her wand all over the boy's unresponsive body.
"I'm checking for the extent of his malnutrition and injuries," she said quietly before narrowing her eyes in anger. "You're right," she suddenly said to Severus. "His life is hanging in the balance, here. Where are those potions?"
Sirius was struggling against hands again as he tried to get back to his godson. "What the hell does that mean? Is he going to be all right?" he asked, but received no answer. He could tell they were racing against the clock for some reason, but surely Harry couldn't be that bad, could he? Looking at his godson's lifeless body, he began to think otherwise.
Poppy finally glanced up and met Black's eyes when Severus started pouring more potions down Harry's throat. "He's been deprived of food and water for so long that his body is shutting down. We're trying to reverse those effects."
Gaping in wide-eyed horror, Sirius suddenly found himself going limp in the hands holding him back. "But, he'll be okay, right?" he asked, desperately needing to know.
"I'm honestly not sure. If you'd been an hour later," she muttered, glancing towards Remus to let him know she was talking about him. "He wouldn't have survived."
It was completely incomprehensible that something of this magnitude had happened to his godson in the amount of time he'd been gone from this world. He knew it couldn't have been that long since he'd been gone, only a few months at best. "How long has this kind of treatment gone on? How long have they been hurting him like this?" he asked, his voice nearly breaking. "Didn't anyone notice?"
An ashamed look crossed his best friend's face and Sirius suddenly locked gazes with the other man. "Remus?" he asked, not willing to believe Remus could ever be anything but diligent when it came to Harry.
"Harry was supposed to send us a letter every three days," he started to explain, going into detail how they had threatened Vernon Dursley at the train station at the end of the school year.
"And he'd been sending you the letters on schedule?" asked Sirius, not quite understanding how a mistake could have occurred quite the way it had.
"Yes, at first he was. The last one I got also happened to coincide with the date we were told you
were still alive inside the Veil," he said, lowering his eyes apologetically. "I'm so sorry, Sirius. I
didn't realize I hadn't received another letter until the day you asked about him."
Sirius couldn't bring himself to feel sorry for the man as tears trickled down Remus' face. He'd never been so angry in all his life. "Harry knew you would check on him if he hadn't written in three days?" he asked, his voice gone cold.
Albus was the one who nodded; Remus was too upset to even speak. "My godson expected you to help him when he didn't reply to your letters, he thought you would
come for him, and yet…no one came when he needed you the most. You left him there, with those abusive bastards…" he trailed off, knowing he was about to get
really and truly upset. He had no desire to destroy the hospital wing, not when Harry was in need of it. Clutching the bedcovers in his hands repetitively, Sirius glared at the ones he thought he could trust his life with. His life just so happened to be Harry.
"Sirius, please, there was more to it than you can imagine. I'm sure no one meant to do this. It was just a matter of circumstance. You can't really think any of us would intentionally leave the boy there without checking on him," persuaded Albus. "Honestly, the news of your return was just so shocking."
Sirius scoffed. "You're trying to blame this on my return? I don't think so, Headmaster. It should not have mattered! Your first and only concern should have been the safety of this boy!" he shouted. "And you all failed miserably!"
A raised hand to silence him from Poppy was all that kept the man from screaming a bit more. "I'm sorry, Poppy," he said reproachfully, but not really feeling all that contrite about yelling at his friend or the Headmaster. He felt truly in his rights on that subject.
"We've stabilized him," started Madam Pomfrey, getting everyone's attention straight away. "I think he should make it now. It was close there for a while, though," she said, shaking her head in regret. "I can't believe how malnourished he's become. It's simply unforgivable what those Muggles have done to him. Simply unforgivable," she muttered, more to herself than the others.
Sighing, Sirius went to Harry's bed and picked up the boy's hand once more. Thankfully, the bruises and cuts were gone, vanished from his body. Sirius didn't think he'd ever be able to forget they were there, though. Seeing his godson in such a condition would probably haunt his nightmares for years to come. Almost losing him was a living nightmare in itself.
"What are we going to do now?" asked Sirius, taking the matter of Harry's living conditions into his own hands. "He's not going back there ever again, Albus. And if you think you can convince me otherwise, I'll tell you right now…I will leave and take Harry with me before I'll ever let you put this child back in the Dursley's abusive hands. Mark my words. We will be gone and you will never see us again. Don't think I can't or won't do it," he said menacingly. "You know for a fact that I can."
Albus looked sad and hurt. "I would never send Harry back to his relatives. I regret that I ever sent him there in the first place. It was a mistake, I realize now. I never intended for things to get so bad," he implored. "Sirius, you can't believe I would have allowed this to go on had I known."
Looking as if he was seriously contemplating it, Sirius shrugged. "I don't know. How far would you go to insure the safety of this child, just so he could destroy Voldemort?" he asked, his voice gone cold once more. "Only, you didn't take into consideration how volatile his Uncle could be, did you? And what's worse, it was obvious Harry hated it there, yet you sent him back year after year. Can't any of you people take a hint?" his tone was almost deadly to those who heard it.
Raising a hand to his head, as if trying to ward off a headache, Remus sighed tiredly. "We just didn't know, Sirius. I'm sorry. We didn't know," he murmured. "He's not going back. I can guarantee that, and so will Dumbledore."
Albus nodded his agreement. "We'll put him somewhere safe, absolutely. And it won't be in the Dursley's dubious care."
"I want him with me," insisted Sirius, standing up to face the two men. "Since I can't trust anyone else with his safety, I want him."
Grimacing, Remus tried to placate his friend. "Sirius, I can understand how you feel right now. We did seemingly abandon Harry when he needed us. We were too focused on you, and I will forever be ashamed of doing so. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to look Harry in the face again, not without feeling tremendous guilt," he said quietly. "I have to wonder if Harry will ever forgive me…" he trailed off at a whispered voice.
"You people complain too much," whispered Harry, attempting and failing to sit up as his arms shook weakly beneath him. "How did I get here?" he wondered aloud, looking up into the shocked faces of the adults surrounding him. "What?"
They were all just staring at him. Having the boy be so close to death's door just a few moments before, it seemed completely odd that Harry was now awake and trying to move.
As Harry scanned the men above him, his eyes locked onto a face he didn't think he'd ever see again. He found he was staring just as much as they were staring at him, and couldn't hide the fact that his mouth was about to drop open. "I've lost my mind," he muttered, attempting once more to bodily lift himself off of the bed. "You're dead," he whispered, finally getting his weak body to roll over, away from the man he couldn't possibly be seeing.
A gentle touch on his shoulder had him cringing and batting at the hand unaffectedly. "No. You're not…what the hell is going on?" he screamed hoarsely. It was obvious he was in the Hospital Wing. He saw Albus and Remus and tried to hear what they were telling him, but his ears seemed to suddenly be ringing and all he could hear was Sirius' voice.
Shaking from head to toe, Harry couldn't seem to do anything for himself. He was still too drained to move and felt completely defenseless. There was something wrong with this situation he had awakened to and he wanted it to go away. As much as he wanted Sirius to be alive, he knew he couldn't be. Remus had told him Sirius had died! He raised his hands and covered his face, wishing he could just disappear or that the three men would just go away. Feeling more and more like he was going to pass out, Harry realized there was a hand on his back, trying to comfort him. He knew that touch. He'd know it anywhere.
"Oh God," he whispered, feeling broken and unsure. He looked up into Remus' eyes as tears filled his own green orbs. "Remus, what…?" he whispered. "Is it? You said he was…"
"I think he's a little shocked," said Poppy, coming out of her office. "Seeing someone he had thought to be dead without knowledge that he was in fact alive can be very stunning to say the least," she said, coming to stand beside Harry's bedside.
Sirius couldn't seem to hold himself back any longer and pulled Harry's unresisting form into his arms. "It's me, Harry. I'm right here. I'm so sorry I left you. I'm so sorry, please calm down," he whispered, rubbing his hands up and down the boy's thin back. "I'm right here."
Those words and the comforting hug he found himself in were what finally pulled Harry back into reality. And he realized he was really and truly in his godfather's arms. He somehow managed to wrap his own arms around Sirius and clung to him as tightly as he could. Feeling the tears pooling in his eyes, Harry wiped futilely with his sleeve, but they kept pouring out of him. He hadn't cried in ages and now he couldn't seem to stop.
Crying was draining his already weakened body and he sagged helplessly into Sirius' arms. "I missed you so much," he whispered. "Where were you? What happened?" he asked tiredly. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, Harry, I'm fine. Please, don't worry about me. I'll be here for a long time in coming if I have anything to say about it. I'm more concerned about you," he whispered, running a hand down Harry's head and letting his fingers rub into the boy's hair. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you."
"It's okay," said Harry softly.
"No, it's not okay, Harry. I should have been there for you. We all should have been there. You're just a child trying to survive against a monster who didn't even deserve to have you in his life," he said, holding Harry closer to his chest. "You shouldn't have had to."
Harry shrugged. "I've always had to."
A low growl had Harry looking up from his position against his godfather's chest. He noticed it was Remus who had made the noise, not Sirius. Though, Sirius looked about as angry as he had ever seen him.
Harry cringed, unsure of why everyone looked so mad. He couldn't really recall all that had happened, but he did know his Uncle had been his usual charming self. In the sense that he was a charming bastard. He only wished no one would be upset on his behalf. Really, he didn't need anyone to take care of him. He was getting rather good at doing it himself, so long as he wasn't being locked in his room.
"Don't be upset," he pleaded, sitting up a bit more, or as much as he could with Sirius still clinging to him.
"We're not upset at you, Harry. Never at you," remarked Remus quickly, laying a reassuring hand on the boy's face.
"I didn't think you were. I just don't want you to be upset at all. It just happened, it's not that big of a deal," he said, trying to remember what all had happened. Somehow, he couldn't seem to recall it all. He vaguely remembered something hurting his wrist and feeling as if his tongue had swollen to the size of a pear, but he couldn't remember anything else. Only those horrible sensations of starving and being so thirsty. "How did I get here?" he asked.
"I wanted to see you as soon as I was well," said Sirius, causing Harry to look the man in the face for the first time. The emaciated frame of before was almost gone, yet he still looked slightly sick and in need of more healthy meals. Much like himself, he reckoned. He was just happy the man was alive and with him. Suddenly needing more contact, he leaned into his godfather's chest once more and instantly felt the arms wrap around him.
"I really missed you," he said quietly, then sighed. "I'm sorry for interrupting."
Sirius hugged him tighter. "Don't be," he whispered, before continuing with the story. He explained to Harry what had happened with the Veil and how he had been desperate to see Harry. The boy was stunned when Remus told of what condition he had been found in and that not only Remus had come to his rescue, but Severus Snape as well.
"That's just strange," he said, garnering a laugh from those present in the room.
"I assure you, it was just as strange to him. I don't believe he knew what type of people your relatives were until that moment. I dare say the man was a little irate himself over your condition," said Remus, looking about the Wing to make sure Severus was indeed gone.
Harry nodded, a little distracted. "So, that's why it took you so long to get there?" he finally asked, making Remus and Professor Dumbledore flinch. "You were getting Sirius out of the Veil?"
Frowning darkly, Sirius gently took Harry's hand but before he could speak, Remus beat him to it.
"It's no excuse for not checking on you, Harry. You were our first priority, and we failed you in the most horrible way," he said, rubbing his hands together a little anxiously. "I can't tell you how sorry we are for not checking on you sooner. We should have, and we didn't," he said. "Can you ever forgive us? Forgive me?"
"I didn't blame you in the first place," said Harry, a little confused. "There's no need to be forgiven," he said, but opened his arms for a hug just the same.
Remus quickly took the boy into his arms, holding Harry close and spoke softly into his ear. "Harry, you may not blame us, but you should. I know you haven't grown up in a very stable environment, and that is part of the reason that you don't understand how wrong we were. But we were, and it will never happen again."
Harry nodded at the man and at Dumbledore as well since he looked just as adamant about it as the one holding him, and wondered why he still felt like they hadn't really done anything wrong. He felt they were justified in forgetting him. Getting Sirius out of that Veil was absolutely the most important thing at the time. Harry refused to believe he was anything more than a nuisance whose plight had taken away from the rescue effort mounted for Sirius. It was a smart move not to tell them that, though.
…………………
Later that evening, Harry sat on his bed in Grimmauld Place. As soon as he had been stable they had moved him to the safest place they could come up with. It was obvious he wouldn't be returning to his Uncle ever again and he was still feeling the effects of the abuse he had suffered there. It was difficult to move and even more difficult to navigate about the house for any long period of time. Making it up the stairs had been a challenge he had needed help with once he'd put aside his stubbornness and asked for it. Falling sort of put things into perspective though and he was lucky Sirius had been right behind him to catch him.
It was well past midnight and Harry was far from wanting to fall to sleep. He feared the nightmares he would have. He feared the memories that would come to him when he wasn't able to stop them from coming. And most of all, he feared closing his eyes, for every time he did he saw his Uncle's face. The man was a nightmare all on his own. The idea of falling asleep and waking back up in his relatives clutches kept repeating over and over in his mind. Logically, he knew it wasn't going to happen, but in dreams…anything and everything seemed real, even being returned to his awful family.
He tried thinking about other things; he tried to imagine what Ron and Hermione had been doing over their summer breaks, and came up empty. His thoughts all returned to the same thing. His Uncle, or the fight he'd heard between the Headmaster, Sirius and Remus. They'd argued about him. He was incredibly happy Sirius had wanted him with him, but he feared more than ever that he would realize how much of a brat he was and lock him away like his Uncle had. Again, he knew somewhere deep inside that Sirius loved him, but it was almost a foreign concept that he couldn't seem to grasp. No one had ever wanted him before, why would they start now.
Feeling the sudden need to be out of his room and in a more open area, Harry got up and headed carefully and quietly for the door and down the stairs. He had to stop more than once to keep a stair or loose floorboard from creaking under his considerably slight weight. Not to mention his frequent stops to catch his breath. Almost ten minutes after he'd left his room he finally managed to make it to the kitchen. Pushing open the door he stopped short.
"Harry, what are you doing up?" asked Sirius, instantly rising from his chair and coming to the boy's aid.
He hadn't realized it, but he was swaying a bit. Harry flushed down to his roots in embarrassment. Not only was Sirius in the room, but the Weasleys were there as well. Grudgingly accepting the help, Harry was taken to a chair and gently pushed into it.
Smiling weakly at Molly who had moved from her seat to the one next to his own, Harry tried not to let his embarrassment get the best of him. "What are you lot doing here?" he asked. He hadn't known they were here and wondered if they were staying here again. As it turned out, they were.
"It's safer here, sweet heart. And I know the boys will all be thrilled when they see you arrived while they were sleeping, not to mention Hermione. She arrived two days ago.
Harry nodded, wishing now that he'd been able to come earlier as well, instead of staying in his own personal hell at the Dursley's.
A hand on his face made him flinch away from the touch instinctively, but as he looked up into Mrs. Weasley's startled face, he cringed for another reason. "I'm sorry," he mumbled and caught a dark look coming from Sirius before his eyes could lower like they wanted to. He wasn't sure if his godfather was mad at him or for the reason he'd flinched in the first place. People grabbing at his face held a disturbing memory in his mind now.
"There's nothing for you to be sorry for, Harry!" stated Molly adamantly. "We heard what happened, dear. If only you'd been able to come with us for the summer. I'll regret that I didn't ask Albus more often to let you stay," she said tearfully and Harry found himself in a very tight hug. "You poor child, you never get a break, do you? If it's not one thing it's another."
With her hands still gingerly holding his face, she pulled Harry back so she could get a good look at him. "You are looking a bit pale, Harry. Have you gotten any sleep yet?" she asked when she finally released Harry from her motherly grasp.
Shaking his head tiredly, Harry laid his head down against his arms on the table.
"Harry, why don't we get you back upstairs for bed?" asked Sirius imploringly, taking hold of Harry's thin arm. Sirius still couldn't get over how thin the boy had become. He was so small now, even smaller than he'd been before, and that was saying something.
"I can't sleep," mumbled Harry and drew his arm out of his godfather's hands.
The hand that had been on his arm was moved to his back and he felt Sirius start to rub in circles. Before he knew what was happening Harry's eyes were drifting close as sleep tried to overtake him. Harry tried to rise up, not wanting to sleep, but Sirius easily kept him still with only one hand. "Sleep, Harry. Don't worry about anything else."
Harry drifted in and out of sleep, his thoughts keeping him from truly slipping under, and hearing Sirius and Mrs. Weasley talking about him kept him struggling to stay awake a bit longer.
"You're still angry at them, aren't you?" he heard Mrs. Weasley mutter and suddenly felt a hand on his forehead, gently rubbing there until he was fighting even harder to stay awake.
After a disgruntled sigh, Sirius said, "I realize they were trying to find me, but Harry is just a child. They promised him they would come for him if there was a lack of correspondence from him. It had been much longer than three days, Molly," he said angrily. "He almost died."
Somehow, Harry hadn't known how close he'd come to leaving this world permanently. He hadn't realized how bad it had been. It was somewhat shocking and it took all his willpower not to gasp out loud.
"But he didn't, Sirius. He's going to be fine now."
Another loud sigh and it sounded like Sirius had just slammed down his fork. Harry found himself stupidly wondering what the man had been eating. "Just look at him, Molly. He's nearly wasted away. I can wrap my entire hand around his forearm!" he hissed and heard Mrs. Weasley berating him to keep his voice down.
"I know you're upset, Sirius. But, Remus is your best friend. He loves Harry as much as you do, I dare say. Have you looked at his face? He's miserable over this. You can't honestly keep the man from seeing Harry."
This was another shock to have landed on his shoulders in the past five minutes. And that just wasn't going to work for him. If he didn't blame Remus, how could Sirius? But then his godfather was speaking again and he realized he didn't really have to fight for Lupin's honor.
"Oh, of course I won't stop him from seeing him. I know he loves Harry, and deep down I know he didn't do it on purpose. I just can't stop seeing Harry tied down to that bed when he was supposed to be cared for and safe. You just don't understand, Molly. You didn't see what they had done to my godson."
There was a moment of silence while Mrs. Weasley seemed to take in this news. She had gasped at what Sirius had just told her, making Harry believe she hadn't known all the details of his incarceration at his Aunt and Uncle's home. Though, Harry hadn't been completely aware, either. He had remembered most of it, but he'd forgotten his Uncle's penchant for tying him down when he pissed him off. How he had was beyond him, but he sure as hell had managed to forget it.
Completely awake now, Harry tried to keep his breathing normal and keep his eyes shut without making it obvious that he was eavesdropping on their conversation. He felt bad doing so, but knew they wouldn't tell him otherwise.
"I hadn't realized they had treated him so poorly. I mean, I knew they hadn't been kind to him, but to tie him to his bed," she said sadly, and Harry once again felt a hand on his back, rubbing gently. "The poor child, he must have been so frightened, locked up and starved," her voice cracked. "I think I can understand more fully now how upset you were."
No one spoke and Harry assumed Sirius had nodded.
Letting out a quivering sigh, he heard Molly stand up and then walk to where he assumed his godfather was sitting. "We're so happy to have you back, Sirius. And I know Harry is more than happy to finally have you back in his life."
Then she was gone and it was just himself and Sirius in the room. Harry couldn't help himself; he sat up slowly and looked his godfather in the eyes. Sirius looked startled.
"You're awake," he said softly and grunted in surprise when Harry fell into his arms, but wrapped them tightly around his godson.
"Thank you for coming back to me," whispered Harry, before finally drifting off to sleep in the safe comfort of his godfather's embrace.
Hi everyone. I hope you all enjoy this next chapter of Broken Dreams. The next update should be in about 2 weeks. A very special thanks goes out to Nita, my beta. She's been with me since the middle of SIB II, and I really do appreciate her hard work! Thank you all for reading my stories and please don't forget to review!
