Thank you for the reviews.
I had an idea of how I wanted it to go but I don't quite think that it was meant to end up like it did. But I don't think any of you are going to be complaining about the way that it did.
Set after S04E04.
Nine: Thirdwheeling
Your OTP plus a third wheel. Is it awkwardly quiet, or chaotically crazy?
Rachel was someone with a long list of regrets. She had hoped that the older she got, the less regrets that she would have. That once she could live her life the way that she wanted to, she would have less to regret. She would be making all the decisions and if she didn't want to do something, then she didn't have to. She wasn't going to allow herself to be forced into something that she didn't want to do.
That obviously never always happened. And it helped to add to the list of regrets.
But the latest bunch of regrets had nothing to do with things that Rachel was forced to do. Because they were all because of her own doing.
Rachel took a sip of her wine, hoping that Philip would turn up soon. He was her saviour for the night. Because the last thing she wanted to do was be on some weird dinner date with Eddie and Melissa. After all, they were celebrating moving in together at her own suggestion (one of her many regrets over the last few weeks).
"Philip did say that he was coming." Rachel said.
"Oh no. He said that he was going out with friends instead." Melissa said, not looking up from the menu.
It was a bit of information that Rachel wished that she had sooner, with her thinking that it was weird that they would order her a drink (a merlot, probably thanks to Eddie as Melissa always got her order wrong) and not one for Philip. It did mean that she was on some weird dinner date. The third wheel.
If Rachel felt like she could, she probably would have excused herself, saying that they didn't need her. A bottle of wine and a takeaway seemed like the perfect alternative to the current situation that she was in. Eddie might have protested at the idea but Rachel was sure that Melissa would have let her go.
Unfortunately for her, the waiter decided to come back to ask them if they were ready to order their food. So her next plan was to leave as soon as the food was eaten. She made a mental note of how much her meal cost before she handed over the menu. She probably would pay a portion of the total bill anyway, as a gesture to congratulate them.
And she hoped that service would be quick.
Because it was the last place that Rachel found herself being.
Eddie took it as a good sign that Rachel was there. He had become worried that he was losing his best friend as she had become more and more distant since she returned to work. He had worried that it was something to do with him and there was something that he was missing. He hoped that he wasn't and that she wasn't lying to him every time she said that she was okay with his relationship with Melissa.
Was it greedy of him to want both sisters in his life?
And things with Melissa were fun. He had been single for so long, only having the odd blind date that led to nowhere since Alison, that he had forgotten how to be in a relationship and how exciting it all was. He forgot that feeling of not being home in so long and he was pretty much living with Melissa when she said about them moving in together.
But he had to ignore the longing in his heart for Rachel and the rational thoughts telling him that he was getting romantically involved with the wrong sister. That he was coming to the point of no return and any romantic relationship he could have with Rachel was becoming more and more impossible.
As long as Eddie didn't lose Rachel from his life, then he was happy to just be her friend. It was the one thing that he could safely say that the fire taught him. And it was the reason why he told Rachel how he felt about her just for her not to feel the same way.
Which hurt.
A lot.
Which might be why he was taking things so fast with Melissa. He was throwing himself into a relationship that he didn't know whether he wanted all because he was hurt to mask his hurt over Rachel's rejection and the loneliness that it brought up.
Eddie was as shocked as Rachel to find out that Philip wasn't coming, wondering why Melissa had to be prompted to say that sort of information. It just seemed rather weird afterwards, with him and Melissa on one side of the table while Rachel was on the other. And he got the feeling that Rachel was regretting choosing the seat in front of him.
They struggled to find things to talk about when Melissa kept telling them not to talk about work. Eddie knew that they were safe talking about work. Because then Eddie knew that he wouldn't say something stupid and reveal the sister that he actually wanted and it would keep Rachel feeling relaxed.
"Has Rachel ever told you about the time she won a karaoke contest?" Melissa said.
Eddie felt himself smile and by Rachel's reaction, it was a story that she didn't really like. "No, she hasn't. She ducks out of the karaoke like me."
"Usually because the difference is a bottle of vodka." Rachel said, with Eddie feeling like this was probably the night that she put herself off vodka (something that Rachel had told Eddie when they had spoken about their drinking vices).
"She sang Holding Out for a Hero," Melissa said. "She is a lot better at singing than she makes out that she is. Even as drunk as a sailor. I'm tone-deaf."
I could tell. Eddie thought, thinking back to Melissa's first day and her being dragged into the karaoke.
"You must have done it at least once." Melissa continued, turning to him.
"Once. When I was nearly at my limit." He said.
"What did you sing?"
Eddie didn't understand where the nerves came from. Maybe it was because he had just found out about the song that Rachel sang. And he didn't want to think about how it could have been fate. He didn't want to think about the fact that it probably proved that him and Rachel were meant to be together.
He wished that he wasn't a bloody romantic.
"Hero." He said, the heat rushing to his cheeks. "The Enrique Iglesias song."
He was more than certain that Rachel understood the nerves and him blushing. He wondered whether she saw the irony in it. He wondered if she saw the coincidence as fate. He felt like she probably wasn't a believer in fate as she'd had too many knockbacks in life, but he did wonder if she hadn't meant what she had said on her first day back.
"I would have thought you would have chosen a… less modern song," Melissa said, the coincidence definitely going over her head.
"Alison chose it for me. I was adamant that I wasn't doing it. I think my friends knew that asking through her was the best way to do it." He said.
"So have you always been wrapped around the finger of the woman you are dating then?"
"I don't think he meant it like that." Rachel said, the outburst confusing Eddie a little.
"Come on, Rachel. You can't say that you aren't looking for a man that will dote on you all the time." Melissa said.
"If I am looking for a man, I am looking for an equal. Someone who… just happens to know me."
Rachel's vision had flicked to him when she said the last part and Eddie wondered whether she was having the same conflict that he was having. That her head and her heart were having a battle. That she hadn't meant to say what she did on her first day back. That she did actually want him.
Eddie attempted not to get his hopes up. Because he couldn't be filled with hope to have it deflated.
"You do need a man, Rachel," Melissa said.
"I don't need anyone." Rachel said.
"You're lonely."
"I'm not lonely."
"Then just have someone for the sex."
"That is the last thing that I am going to do."
"Then lower your standards."
"You know better than anyone why my standards are so high."
"Hence why I don't understand why you won't just get yourself out there and have a bit of fun. Be like me and Eddie. Find someone who wants a bit of fun and see where it goes. Because I am not sure I thought we would start a relationship when we went back to mine that first night."
The food arriving gave the perfect pause in the conversation and Eddie found himself trying to not wince at how harsh Melissa's words were. Eddie had a couple of ideas as to why Rachel had such high standards and he was sure that Melissa was hinting at Rachel's past when she said about not understanding why Rachel didn't just have a bit of fun.
The atmosphere around the table was now tense and awkward and Eddie wanted to down his pint just so he had a reason to leave the table.
If Melissa was proud of one thing, she was glad that she could still make Rachel squirm. Maybe it wasn't sisterly of her to do so but Melissa had this horrible feeling that she needed to do something about. Because she had this feeling that Eddie wasn't as in love with her as she was with him. Actually, she suspected that he was in love with someone else.
At first, she did suspect that it was Rachel. She had seen Eddie in her rearview mirror when she had picked Rachel up from the pub on Rachel's first day back and there were also those weird voicemails that Rachel had been left on her phone (ones that Melissa listened to and swiftly deleted). She wondered what was the reason her sister had run and why he had run after her.
Then Eddie had put the record straight, saying that they were just good friends and that he may have said something to upset her. Hence why he wanted her to tell Rachel about them dating.
But Rachel's resistance about her and Eddie taking things too fast made Melissa ask Eddie about moving in just to gauge her reaction. To Melissa, Rachel always found it hard to hide her emotions. She always had done, with little tells that she hadn't been able to shake since they were children. there were times when Melissa could read her like an open book. Maybe not completely well. But she knew that the situation was one that Rachel didn't want to be in.
Melissa knew that Rachel would only come if she knew that Philip had been invited. Not that Philip was, with him thinking that her and Eddie were out on a date.
And Melissa played along with the narrative that she was blind. It was more fun that way if it seemed like she was oblivious to everything.
But she hadn't missed the way that they looked at each other. Or the irony in the karaoke songs. Or the way that Eddie blushed at it.
It broke her heart. Because Eddie was in love with Rachel and she was more than sure that it was more than a lusty type of love that may or may not end in them having an affair. He was well and truly head over heels in love with her and in the moments that Rachel let her guard down, Melissa was more than sure that she was in love with Eddie as well.
And there was a moment where Melissa was sure that she had faded into the background as they chatted and she was certain that she had never seen Rachel smile in the way that she did and she was sure that Eddie didn't smile at her in the way that he smiled at Rachel.
Usually, she could compete with her sister and win.
For some reason, Melissa didn't think it would work out for her this time around.
So maybe it was a little childish of her to get out of her chair so suddenly and storm off. But that was what she felt like doing. The only thing she needed to do now was to force their hands. To make them tell her that they were in love with each other. Which might not be an easy thing to do.
There was no way that Rachel could have missed her sister storming off. There was just no explainable reason as to why she did so. Rachel did look over at Eddie for him just to shrug his shoulders. She wanted to roll her eyes at his action but she knew that her sister was an enigma, with her never really knowing what Melissa wanted when they were children. Especially when Melissa had everything her heart could desire.
Their turbulent upbringing brought around their turbulent relationship.
Although Rachel put as little of the blame on Melissa as she could. It was their parents that made them so wildly different. And it scared her at times how she could look at Melissa and just see their father's behaviour in the way she stood or in the tone she used when she said certain things.
Rachel certainly hoped that Melissa wasn't abusive like their father was.
Finding out the reason as to why Melissa had stormed off was up to her and Rachel found herself needing to get up anyway, heading in the direction of the toilets before she was going to do anything else.
And Rachel knew what she was being faced with when she heard the person in the cubicle next to her crying. She had half a thought to just go back to Eddie and tell him that she couldn't find Melissa. Dealing with Melissa crying was never easy.
She didn't go back to the table and after drying her hands, she wondered for a moment as to whether she should 'leave' and 'come in' again just to make out that she hadn't just been in the toilets. With a telling off that she dealt with some of the worst students in the country, she realised that she would just have to grin and bear it. Just like she had done since Melissa announced that her and Eddie were dating.
"Melissa?" Rachel said.
"What?" Melissa said.
"Are you alright?"
The moment that the door opened, Rachel was more than certain that she had been crying crocodile tears, with Melissa's makeup still looking pristine.
"Of course I'm not." Melissa said as she walked over to the mirror to 'fix' her makeup.
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong then?"
"I'll tell you when you tell me."
"Tell you what?" Rachel said, with clear confusion.
"Stop lying to me."
"About what?"
It was strange how Rachel knew exactly what Melissa was going to say next because of the look on her face. Because she had learnt from the master. The student was now the master. And Rachel couldn't stop the sickening feeling rising up in her.
"Are you and Eddie having an affair?" Melissa asked in exactly the same way that their dad would accuse their mum.
"Melissa, there is nothing going on between me and Eddie. Other than friendship."
"You're lying."
"I'm not."
"Then tell me you don't love him. Look me in the eye and tell me."
It should have been easy to do. The hardest person it should be to say it to would be Eddie. To deny him once again would instantly break her heart. It shouldn't be hard to tell her sister exactly what she wanted to be told.
But it wasn't like Melissa didn't give her an opportunity to say it before she spoke again.
"You can't, can you?" Melissa said, a sinister smile rising on her face. "Oh, this must be killing you. Me with the man that you love."
"I don't love him like that."
"Oh come on, Rachel. This is just like Dan Smith all over again."
"For the record, I never liked Dan Smith."
"You did. And you were so jealous when I won. That I was on the arm of the most attractive guy in your year, who was three years older than me. I know everyone else was. Do you want to know a secret?" Melissa paused for a moment. "He had actually come round the house to ask you to the prom. Maybe you should have been home more. Instead of lying on your back with your legs in the air. I think he got the better deal in the end, didn't he? At least I can name everyone that I've slept with."
At least Rachel knew that Melissa was going to go for the low blows. It was clear that was the way she was going to go by what she had said earlier in the evening.
"I forgot how childish you could be." Rachel said.
"Childish? You are the one that acts like it never happened."
"I act like it isn't going to define me. Because it isn't. And you can't even use it against me anymore. Everyone knows."
"What do you mean everyone knows?"
"Just that. Everyone knows. Stuart Hordley told them all. They all know about Amanda and the prostitution."
"You're lying."
"Why don't you ask Eddie?"
"If I am going to ask Eddie a question, it isn't going to be about your teenage years and you whore yourself out."
Rachel found herself shrugging. "Melissa, you are the only one that hasn't accepted it."
"Well, aren't you going to ask?"
"Ask what?"
"About the question I am going to ask Eddie instead."
"I'm not rising to this, Melissa. I am tired of it."
"Then tell me you don't love him."
"He's my best friend, Melissa. I am going to love him in a platonic way. I'm going to love him because he is the one man that hasn't want me to rush into something with them. That he has stood by my side and never expected anything in return. I love our fast friendship. I love how supportive he is. But I don't love him romantically."
"Fine then. I'll just go and ask him to marry me then."
As much as Rachel knew that was where this was heading and that Melissa was trying to get a rise out of her by saying it, it still hurt when she said it. Rachel wished that it didn't and she wished that she did love Eddie in the way that she had just said to Melissa but Rachel couldn't ignore the horrible feeling in her chest.
So she followed Melissa and she was glad that she wasn't too far behind, with Eddie asking Melissa whether she was okay.
"I'm fine. I just… realised something." Melissa said.
"Melissa, don't." Rachel said.
"Don't what?" Eddie said.
"One last chance, Rachel," Melissa said.
"One last chance? Melissa, where has this all come from? If you actually believe the stuff that comes out of your mouth, then why are you so threatened by me? You are the only one holding onto the past. Everyone else has let it go. And I might not be like our parents but you are exactly like Dad. I don't think you understand, Melissa. I do blame myself for leaving you behind. For it to take me years to come back into your life but you don't have to remind me of it constantly.
"And I have let you accuse me of having an affair with whatever boyfriend you've had since we were reunited but I am drawing the line here. Because you can tarnish my name however you like but I am not allowing you to drag Eddie's name through the mud. Not when he is the best thing to ever enter my life. And I get that I've played right into your hand but enough is enough. Because either you love him unconditionally that nothing could ever break it or you don't. Make up your mind, Melissa. Because I would rather you break his heart now than later. And I'll be helping him through it. Not you."
Rachel was glad that she didn't have much as she quickly grabbed her bag and jacket and she guessed that Eddie would end up picking up the bill but she knew that she had to get out of there. Because, in a roundabout way, she might have just let Eddie know what she truly felt for him.
Eddie had been quick to follow Rachel, paying for the meal on his way out, ignoring Melissa for a moment. He didn't quite know how he had got himself in between the two sisters. Because Rachel's outburst was for a reason and he hoped that he could talk to her about it.
It did mean that there was an argument in the car park with Melissa, where Eddie might have said a couple of things that he had been holding from her. Like the fact that he wished that him and Rachel were more than friends. Alternatively, Melissa didn't hold back any punches after he said that, with her telling him that Rachel would never make him as happy as she would have made him and 'once and whore, always a whore'. Eddie definitely felt like he had almost bitten through his tongue with everything that he was holding back from saying to Melissa.
It was clear that it had all been a setup and Eddie wondered whether him and Rachel had just played right into Melissa's hand. Although, Eddie didn't care. Because he was going to go and get the woman that he loved.
And it was a nervous wait as he stood on Rachel's doorstep. It was even worse when she did open the door up to him, with her clearly upset by what had happened by her red eyes.
"I'm sorry," Eddie said.
"I think I should be the one to apologise."
He shook his head. "If anyone should apologise, it is me. I know you better, Rachel. I should have known that you would want to come back and act like nothing had happened. And I know I played that game as well. Trying to show you that nothing had changed. I wanted to pick up where we left off but I should have known that wouldn't be the case for you. I should have shown you that I was there for you. I should have realised that I needed to support you and to show you that I was still there for you. I certainly should never have ever started something with Melissa."
She opened the door more for him to walk into her house and he realised the reason why she had originally only opened the door only slightly. Because by the time that he had argued with Melissa and it had taken for him to follow her, she had gotten out of her dress and into her pyjamas. He suspected that she might have also taken off her makeup but he felt like he always kept her look rather natural, meaning that he didn't really know either way.
He followed her into the living room and watched her as she turned off the tv, attempting not to sigh at the sight of the wine bottle sitting on the coffee table and the full glass sitting next to it.
"So did she do it?" Rachel whispered.
"Do what?"
"Ask you to marry her."
"No. Because I wanted to run after you."
"Why?" She said, her brow creased in confusion.
"Because… I would rather have, at the minimum, a friendship with you than a relationship with anyone else who can't see how important you are to me. There aren't that many people that I can actually call a friend, Rachel. Maybe that is just because I am a guy but the only reason I had friends in school was because I was part of the football team. The only reason I had friends at uni was because we were in halls together. I joined Alison's group of friends when we started dating. I make friends with those that I work with. But I've never wanted to keep a friendship going with someone like the one I have with you. I was worried sick about you. Alison said if I was that worried, why didn't I go down to the hospital and say that I was your boyfriend or fiance if I really wanted to know what was going on with you. And I almost did. I was sitting in the car park and I wanted to get out of my car to see if I could see you."
Rachel wrapped her dressing gown tighter around herself. "Why didn't you?"
He shrugged. "I just… bottled it. I was too scared that I wouldn't sound convincing enough or if you did have family, that they would call me a fraud. I didn't want to be turned away." He paused. "So… and I don't know why I did it, but I left you lots of voicemails on both your home phone and your mobile. Telling you everything."
"I didn't get them."
The realisation hit them at the same time.
Melissa had played them both.
The thought made Eddie feel sick and he hated more that Melissa had such a grudge against Rachel. He wondered when the game started. Whether it started at the interview, with Melissa sizing him up to see how easy it could be, or if it started when Melissa picked Rachel up at the pub or if it was just on Melissa's first day. She must have loved how easily he became putty in her hands.
"I wish I did get them," Rachel whispered.
"Rachel, I… I get this might have changed things."
"I don't think I can change how I feel. Otherwise, I would have done it weeks ago."
"I'll be your friend. I'll be there to support you. And once the dust settles, we will see where we are and where we want things to go."
He didn't really expect her to walk over to him, wrapping her arms around his middle. He copied her action, hoping that he was giving her a bit of comfort.
As much as him and Rachel weren't all for drama, he was sure that Melissa was and he was sure that there was a storm coming for them. Eddie just hoped that they both could weather the storm and be in a position to talk about how they were going to take things forward. Because he definitely knew who he wanted now and he wasn't about to let her go again.
