Part 3: Encounter


When Cloud and Leon crash out of consciousness, the sky will be watching. (When Cloud and Squall collide out of consciousness, danger will dance in the sky.) They will have already found their answers and they will have already lost them to a void. They will feel broken by breakable things and will crave contact. When they lose to their fates, they will hate and attract each other. It is that

"Leon."

will hate Cloud for being able to remember that which he will have forgotten. It is that

"Cloud."

will hate Leon for being capable of forgetting such that he will always remember.

It is that neither of them will truly

"...try again."

to forget what is worth forgetting, nor will they remember what is worth remembering too

"Well..."

or strongly. It is that whoever will wish to forget will only remember and whoever will wish to remember will only forget. (Life is nothing when you are

without memories. Life gives you

every opportunity when you are

without memories.)

It is that neither will be able to express his frustration in any way but torturing the other.

Whether in light or in dark, Cloud will always remember. Leon will always torture him by helping him remember.

They will fight, they will frown. When they fight, their lips will collide. When their lips collide, they will fall into a frenzy.

Cloud will growl; he will not be on his hands and knees. He will insist on seeing long brown hair and he will not

"Stop clawing at me, dammit!"

because he will want to remember, always, always. He will see to it that this brown-haired devil called Leon bleeds. He will always keep his eyes open when they are together, no matter how tired he is. He will force himself to always remember. His rose will force him to remember her. Through grunts of pain

"Shit..."

and groans of stimulating torture

"Unnnnhh!"

he will gaze up at the man with the closed eyes (the closed eyes he will not be able to tell are not green like hers,) the man with delicate features (feminine, like her,) the man with long brown hair (as she had,) the man who bleeds (like she bled, oh god like she bled) –

The only man who will torture him correctly. The only man who makes him remember. There is no other fate but this for him.

And whether in light or in dark,

"Leon!"

will always forget. Cloud will always torture him by making him forget. Even with just the panicked cries of Leon's name, Cloud will remind Leon of nothing. (Only Squall will have memories worth mourning.) There will be pain

"Jesus..."

and pleasure

"Ahh..."

and neither of these will be from memories. Leon insists on forgetting, always, always. He will always keep his eyes open when they are together, no matter how exhausted he is. Nothing of Cloud will reminds Leon of a little blue butterfly he never knew or the white funeral flowers he wouldn't recognize. (Dark hair only shadows pale thoughts, he will mutter.) Everything of Cloud will remind him of not her. She will have had dark hair. He, blonde. She will have had clear-spirited sloe eyes. He, muddled, hazy blue. She will have been a she. He, a 'he.'

Squall will have been gentle with her. With Cloud, never.

There will be no way to remember her now, not even though Leon will be a contradiction. He will have made himself a contradiction by then. But he will not care.

Neither will Cloud.

And it will have to be Cloud.

It will have to be Leon. It will have to be Cloud.

Why will have to be Leon? Why? When they

"Ohh!"

seek release, it will only bind them more. (Why will it have to be Cloud?) Biter irony will find

"Ngh..."

them each time a climax is reached. (It won't have to be Leon.) When a climax is reached, they

"Shit-!"

will realize (Yes, it will have to be Leon. It will have to be-) nothing has changed (-Cloud, after all.) and that they always have been (Aeris.) and will never be (Rinoa.) anything more than

"...Ahh."

just two desperate souls

"Hah, hah—ahh,"

with nothing to

"Shit, Jesus, Cloud--"

live for

"Fuck!"

except

"Uhn! Ah God!"

a few short moments

"AhhhAHH-!"

of

"...oh-! I'm...I--!"

frenzy.

(A scar he will distinctly remember never having gotten and

a wing he will distinctly remember the significance of

always

will have him forget the need for affection

and the other

will always remember a tragedy called

love.)

-end-