Thank you for the reviews.
Finally back with the Wednesday works. As mentioned on Twitter, these aren't going to be given the same priority as my longer fics and (seeing how things go) the plan is to have a month posting and then a month off. I think this will just help me to keep ahead of myself and, hopefully, stop any breaks. Although I do need to go through my plan and move a few things around to make a couple of things work...
Now, this prompt had me thinking about it for a while. And flustered became that word that I felt like I knew the meaning to but had to look it up to double check.
Hope you enjoy this.
Ten: Flustered
Your OTP being flustered. It could be one member, it could be both.
"So maybe we should move on to Rachel and her addition to the school," Nigel said.
Eddie had prepared himself for this part of the meeting, knowing exactly what he wanted to say about Rachel and the order that he wanted to say it in. This was for him to say everything that he liked about Rachel and to finally put that first day behind them. Even more so as Ria had joined the Governors' meeting to see how things were shaping up.
"Well I will assume that Mr Lawson has no other objections to the LEA's decision," Ria said.
"Ah no, no, no," Eddie said, feeling everyone's eyes on him which threw him off. "Yeah, no. I um… It hasn't been easy. Obviously."
"Not when you thought the role was yours."
"Yeah, well, it seemed the most logical… step at the time. Jack had asked me to look after the school and that was what I was doing. At the time, I thought that there was no need for any more change. That stability was what the students needed."
Eddie had definitely been thrown off his game plan. He was almost stuttering his words out. Maybe he didn't think that his attitude a couple of weeks ago would have been brought up. Mainly because it was a shock for him to be given the nod for him to then find out that someone had been shipped in. He didn't quite think that any of them would have taken it any better than he did.
"And now?" Nigel said.
He could see Rachel straightening herself out next to him out of his peripheral vision. It was clear that she was also interested in what he had to say. Even if they had started over.
"Well… if she thinks I am going to agree with her all the time, then she has another thing coming." Eddie said.
"Never expect you to always agree with me. That would make for a boring partnership." Rachel said.
"Yeah, right, well… I'm not completely convinced that her plans for the school are going to work but I do know that there has been a change of such. The… work-related learning has seemed to have um… focused some of the students. And teaching them proper life skills can be the wrong thing to do now, can it? Most of the school are going to leave at 16 and into a job. And I am still traditional in my ways but English and Maths at GCSE as well as some practice with interviews and CVs does seem like a better way… to send them off in."
"And the staff. Are they happy enough?" Nigel said.
"They seem happy enough," Eddie said.
He felt like he left a sigh of relief as Rachel took over, commanding the meeting as a headteacher should do. Maybe he wouldn't have thrived in the headteacher role. Maybe he would have always been flustered when the pressure was turned up or when he had to lead a meeting. He was but wasn't a commanding figure. The kids were one thing. He had never really been good at adult conversation or being serious in that way.
And watching Rachel was like watching a master at work, with her turning at the right intervals and addressing everyone in the room without directing addressing them.
He wished that he could be like her but he obviously wasn't going to be.
"You look like you could do with a drink." Rachel said as she took in the face of her deputy after the room had cleared out.
"How do you do it?" Eddie asked.
"Do what?"
"Command a room like that without…"
"Getting flustered?"
She didn't have Eddie down as someone who was easily flustered but he had seemed to show that he wasn't as calm under the pressure as she thought. Actually, he was quite assertive with the kids and the staff but it was like he just crumbled in that meeting. It didn't quite make sense to her.
"I know. I know." Eddie said.
"What?"
"How I am with the kids and staff but…" He paused. "No one really prepares you for these roles, do they?"
"How do you mean?"
"Took me a while to get used to standing in front of the kids. I was doing quite well in my NQT year until there was just this year nine class that I couldn't control. They'd had a sex ed class that morning so they were all hyped up over that, throwing condoms about as well. It was just mayhem and I couldn't stop it. A moment of weakness."
"And they all jump on you?" She said. "Is that why you are protective of Jasmine? I heard about the girls' football team incident. So either someone came to your rescue and took you under their wing or you wish that they did?"
"I wish."
"Just as long as it is professional with Jasmine. I do think that these NQTs get thrown out of uni without much experience and either they sink or swim. Usually sink. I don't mind you mentoring her, Eddie."
"Nothing unprofessional is going to happen with Jasmine." He said, sounding shocked that she would suggest otherwise.
"Good. Because you are old enough to be her dad."
"No, I'm not."
Rachel laughed. "You could be. I would put you as older than me and I am 37. Jasmine must be early 20s. 21 minimum. I would have been about 16 when she was born."
"I would have been 17. That means nothing."
"You know, especially in area like this, that is a lot closer to the mean age of pregnant women that any politician would like to admit. And you know by the three pregnancies in this school, it can happen younger than when they are legal."
Eddie huffed and she wanted to know what he really thought about her. She knew that she was being slightly infuriating for the sake of it but she didn't really want to irritate him too much.
"How about that drink then?" Rachel said. "And we might as well think about ways that we can help you to not get flustered. I will need you ship shape for the ROCBEC meeting. I am not having you stumbling over your words then."
He seemed to have rolled her eyes at her before he cleared up the few things that he had brought with him to the meeting and followed her out of the room. And she knew that there would be a lot of work over the next couple of weeks to make sure that Eddie was ready. Because it was okay for him to be flustered. Just not okay if he ruins all her plans because of it.
"Why did you punch him?" Rachel asked as Eddie shook his hand.
"Just felt like it."
"Not that I was a damsel in distress." She said placing his drink on the table.
"No. He was winding me up with his comments. 'I bet she gives it to you for free'."
Rachel laughed and Eddie couldn't help but look up at her. There were a plethora of reasons as to why Eddie punched Stuart. He probably could add damsel in distress to the list but it was rather low down the list.
"Rachel, I said I would sort it and… I think we have done."
"I just hope you're right." She looked at him. "And I hope we are okay too as well."
"Why wouldn't we be okay?"
"You didn't take it well, Eddie. Not that I expected you to. It just felt like something that you wouldn't get over. That it would always be something between us."
"I just… maybe I could just never… imagine you. Doing that."
Eddie picked up his drink, just to take a mouthful for the conversation that they were having. He was sitting at the table in Rachel's office, with him expecting that she would take the chair near him. But him picking up his drink had seemed to have made an opening for Rachel, with her walking over and sitting on the table near his chair, with her foot resting underneath his thigh.
"Do you then?" She said.
"Do what?"
"Try to imagine me. In that position."
"I didn't…"
"Are you watching or… partaking?"
Eddie was more than sure that he was bright red now. He could just feel the heat in his cheeks and her foot on the back of his thigh felt a little higher than he thought it was. He didn't completely understand why he was getting so flustered. Maybe it was because they were friends. Maybe it was because he did like her more than he would admit at the moment. Maybe it was that thin line that he felt like they were crossing without maybe crossing it.
"I um… not… watching. I don't… really know." He stuttered out.
"Oh come on, Mr Lawson. Do you go red like this during the sex ed lessons?"
"No. No. It's just… still weird… to…"
"Think about me being a prostitute? Having sex for money? Why? What makes it so unbelievable?"
"Well… just you… and the way you are."
"I'll take that as a compliment."
"It's just… I couldn't imagine you… being like one of our students. Although it does make sense how you are with the students."
She placed her drink down on the table behind her before she placed her right hand on the table, which was quite close to him, leaning in. For some reason, he thought that she might actually kiss him but the move just made him be able to smell her perfume better. And it was intoxicating.
"If I am honest, I split my life in two." She said. "I have my life as Amanda and my life as Rachel. Amanda might be the reason why I am… less sexually naive, but, as I am now, I know I am ready for something serious. I get why the kids do it. All the one night stands."
"I've always… been more about serious relationships," Eddie said.
"Do you think that is where we are heading, Mr Lawson? That we've gone from strangers to colleagues to friends. Do you think that is the next step for us?"
He swallowed, trying to remove the lump in his throat. "M-m-maybe."
"Would you like it to?"
His head moved, nodding at her, before he could really think over her words.
Then she moved, slipping off of the table and picking her drink up to down it before she refilled her glass. Eddie followed her action, whilst moving himself in the chair to get himself comfortable again. He found himself unable to look at her as she refilled his glass, his vision unfocused on the office door.
"Don't worry, Eddie." She said, causing him to look up at her. "I would like it as well. You are actually quite… adorable when you are all flustered like that."
He didn't reply to that, forcing himself not to look at her for a while as he got all of his emotions under some sort of control. And part of him wondered what a force Rachel would be.
He had been building himself up for this moment. Going over what he wanted to say. To stop himself from getting flustered. He didn't want to stumble over his words. Not with this.
And he hadn't had the chance to ask her that morning before school and the spelling bee. He hadn't had the chance to do it afterwards, with her gloating to Geoff about their win and then playing down his fears when it turned out that his students had placed a bet with one of her students.
Eddie could just watch her forever. Wondering if she ever got flustered. If she ever tripped over her words, her tongue becoming too large for her mouth, the words not coming out as they should do.
So standing a small distance away from the pitch, with her settling next to him, still with a good view of the game being played, he knew he had his chance.
"Rachel. What are you doing tonight?" He asked, slowly to make sure that he didn't trip over his words.
"Tonight? After the staff drinks I assume?" She said.
"Yeah."
"I don't know. Why?"
"It's the end of term." He said, turning to her. "I… thought I could take you out and celebrate."
"That's… really nice of you to ask."
He wondered whether he had her. All the times that he had been flustered in her presence had finally been turned around by him asking to take her out. Maybe not many men had asked to take her out. Or maybe this was the Rachel side of her life talking.
"I just… I thought it would be nice to talk, you know, away from this place. And the local."
"Yeah, what about?"
Us was what he wanted to say. But he put it a little more plainly than that.
"Everything." He said, feeling that maybe he should have added 'but work' to that. "Have a drink. And a chat. And… see how things go."
By her smile, he knew that he was more flustered by it than she was. Maybe she had always been unflappable. Maybe she was this woman who could just always command a room without having the need to be the centre of attention. Or maybe it was just her circumstances that had made her that way. He supposed with everything that she had dealt with in her life, she would be this force that couldn't be fazed by anything.
"I would love to, thank you." She said, smiling up at him.
"Good. Right." He said, noting the surprise in his voice. "About eight o'clock? Gives us enough time to have a drink with the staff and to… then get changed or have something to eat beforehand."
"Fine by me."
"Good. Good."
The pitch came alive as Maxine had just scored a goal, something that they both found out afterwards as they were too busy smiling at each other. And Eddie knew that they were probably drawing attention to themselves but he didn't care. He felt just a step closer to doing something about the way his heart was beating in his chest, a familiar feeling that he'd had with one other woman in his life. And he was so glad to have that feeling again.
"Don't worry, Lawson. I'm not that scary, am I?" Rachel said, bringing him out of his thoughts.
"No. Of course not, Mason."
"Good. Because I think tonight will be quite fun."
And Eddie hoped that it would be.
It was going well. Better than Rachel could ever have imagined.
And the conversations that she was having with Eddie were some of the best in her life. He was so interesting. More interesting than she had ever expected him to be. He'd had wildly different experiences to her (as she would expect) and somehow they were the most exciting stories that she had ever heard.
He had no qualms talking about his secondary school life and his friends and family. And she listened so intently. She was hanging off his every word.
How was this man so interesting?
And funny. And charming. And she found herself not wanting to leave his company.
"Do you want another one?" He said, pointing to her empty wine glass.
"Well, unless you had anything else in mind."
"I wouldn't want to be too forward."
"With what?"
"I suppose… it depends on how comfortable you are."
"Doing what?"
"Crossing that line."
She didn't completely understand what he meant for a moment. And she watched him as he moved a little closer to her in the booth before he tilted his head to the side and kissed her. Maybe it was meant to be quite chaste. Mainly by how quickly he did the move before pulling back slightly. Her lips tingled and she found herself moving closer to him, just to have that feeling again.
Her hands were on his neck and, to begin with, she could only feel one of his on her waist. His touch was rather light, so much so she could only just feel it, with her wanting to find both of his hands so that she could place them exactly where she wanted. And it was much too slow for her. There was this burning feeling inside of her that wasn't just matching the kiss that she was experiencing.
And when Eddie pulled away, he pulled away further this time. She wanted to whimper at the loss of contact and she could feel her cheeks grow hot at the thought of it.
She was a woman that didn't need a man to tie her down. She was sure that she still had the same aura about her. The one where she could go out and get whatever man that she wanted. There didn't have to be any rhyme or rhythm to her choices. She never had to see them again. She didn't even have to attach emotions to what they were going to do.
And she was the one in charge. If she wanted something to be a different way, then she made it that way. If she wanted a kiss to be more hot and heavy, then she should be able to make it that way.
But then again, she had never been with anyone like Eddie before. And there was a part of her that would just happily give him anything that he wanted. The other part felt like she would have to convince him to do many of the things that she had thought about doing with him over the last couple of weeks. She supposed this was the moment to find out.
"I um… want to… cross that line." Rachel said.
"Do you now, Mason?"
"Why do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Call me… Mason."
"You call me Lawson.
"Only because you started calling me Mason."
"I don't know." He said, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Why don't you want me to?"
"No. No. No. I-I-I actually… quite… like it."
"Miss Mason, you aren't flustered, are you?"
"I don't know what you are talking about."
"Is that all it takes? One kiss?"
She scrambled around for the right words to say. "Maybe. Obviously. It could… you know… just be… you."
"Yours or mine?" He whispered.
"Which one is closer?"
She took his hand when he offered it to her once he was standing and she didn't mind being dragged through the crowded pub to the outside world. And once she had her hand in his properly, she knew that she never wanted to let go.
And just a flash of his boyish grin made her realise that things were going to be more than a little different with Eddie. Maybe more than she had already realised.
