Thank you for the reviews.
I know. I sound like a broken record. But I'm not entirely sure that this was my original idea for this chapter. But I think it works.
Enjoy...
Fourteen: Stargazing
Your OTP stargazing. Where are they doing this? Are they out camping? Are they sitting on a rooftop? What constellations are they looking at?
Eddie knew that Rachel was questioning his choice of location for their 'getaway' during the October half-term. It wasn't really what he had in mind either, with the thought of catching some sun before the winter started coming in sounding like a glorious idea. But he had tried to do this idea several times over the last year or so with it never happening.
The first time it had rained.
The second the moon was too bright.
The third time, Eddie had noticed that they did live in a place that was being polluted by light.
So this was the fourth attempt. And dragging Rachel out into the countryside definitely didn't feel like a bad thing. Or for Michael as well.
And Eddie was pretty sure that was the reason that Rachel had come up with to explain the rather… odd location. Because with them being in the middle of Snowdonia national park, he could see why she thought that they were only there to make sure that Michael slept every night. Or that he wanted to actually do part of his failed bad boy trip (which Eddie was still slightly bitter about and the stiffness in his neck wouldn't allow him to forget what happened that day).
But a week away with Michael definitely seemed to help raise their spirits. Even if Eddie found himself being a little jealous of Michael and the way that he would always ask Rachel if she could help him with something. Rachel had laughed at him when he told her, suggesting that it might just be because Michael spent the majority of his time with Alison and, therefore, is probably more used to a woman doing things for him. Although, Eddie was sure that she had said something to Michael as he had been asking for 'Daddy' to help him more.
He pulled back the curtain to make sure that his plan would still work as he heard Rachel talking to the local babysitter, who had just arrived. He looked down at Michael, knowing that he wasn't too far off from going to bed. They had definitely worn him out over the last few days and Eddie hoped that they hadn't worn him out too much. A day of calm before they left to go home seemed like the perfect thing to do. As he didn't want to get told off by Alison for wearing him out too much that he didn't want to go to school.
"Someone looks like they are already ready for bed." Rachel said as she joined them in the living room with the babysitter.
"I'm awake, Rachel," Michael mumbled in a tone that only made Eddie smile.
"It is your bedtime soon, mate," Eddie said as he stood up, watching Michael as he rubbed his eyes to get himself more awake. "You be good now."
"Mummy says I'm always good."
Rachel gave a thank you to the babysitter before they walked into the hallway. He already knew that she was questioning why he had picked up his coat.
"Trust me, you are going to need a coat." He said.
"Why? We are going from here to the car and then the car to the pub and then back again."
"Not if I have something up my sleeve."
Rachel wasn't happy about that. Eddie knew that she hated surprises but he had hoped that by now, she would have been able to recognise that his surprises were always ones that she could rely on to be good. It was the reason that Eddie gave to her sigh before she replaced her jacket on the hook and picked up her warmer coat.
If anything, Eddie just hoped that he would now get this surprise right.
"So what is it?" Rachel said after taking a sip of her wine before she started on the food that had just arrived.
"So what is what?" Eddie said after he had chewed his first mouthful.
She glared at him. He knew what. He wasn't that daft. He was just being dense on purpose. Although, she suspected that he thought that she would have asked a lot earlier. Maybe even the moment that they got into the car. She hated surprises and as much as she knew that it would be something nice as it was an Eddie surprise, she couldn't help but feel apprehensive. Maybe she would have to finally explain to him why she hated surprises. Just to make them stop.
"You know," He continued. "Those who…"
"Live longest, see most. I know. I know." She said.
"So just have a little faith."
She sighed. "Eddie, you know that it isn't you."
"Isn't me what?"
"I have all the faith in you. It's… I've had too many horrible surprises in my time that I can't trust a surprise."
The way that he shifted in his seat told her that she didn't have to say much more. He got what she meant and she was grateful for it. She didn't really want to explain much further than that for the moment.
"Do you really want me to tell you then?" He asked.
"Please."
"Right, there was a reason for coming here."
"Right?"
"I had tried to do this idea on Valentine's day but it was a washout. Then the other two times, the moon and light pollution had stopped it from happening. Well… maybe it is something that I've wanted to do for a while. It just seemed like a romantic thing to do. To go out stargazing."
Rachel blinked at him a couple of times. "Sorry? After this, we are going stargazing?"
"Yeah. Apparently, tonight will be the perfect conditions. So I am hoping that we will see a lot."
Rachel was speechless. Like truly speechless. Her mind just couldn't come up with any words.
Actually, it could.
All she could come up with was that Eddie was an extraordinary man and she had to pinch herself that she was his. Out of everyone in the world, he wanted to be with her.
Stargazing felt like a deadly romantic thing to do. So she should have really expected her deadly romantic boyfriend to come up with something like that.
"What?" Eddie said after a moment.
"Are you ever going to stop being perfect?"
"I don't think I'm perfect, Rachel. I just… want to make the effort."
"Well, you are perfect to me."
When they left the pub, they drove for a little while until they came to the closest car park. It was clear that Eddie had thought of everything when he opened up the boot to show that both their walking boots were in there. Not that Rachel thought that her walking boots went with her outfit. She just knew that she wouldn't have shoes or an ankle left if she went walking in the shoes she had on.
They both had head torches and handheld torches to light their way until Eddie said that they had found the perfect spot and laid down the blanket that they'd had many picnics on over the last few days.
With the torches off, it didn't take Rachel's eyes long to adjust to the lack of artificial light as the sky was more or less lit up properly.
And they didn't really know the constellations that they were looking at. Rachel felt like they spent most of their time just attempting to find shapes.
And Rachel knew why she felt so content there, with Eddie in the dark.
She was glad that she did have her warmer coat on, but she still snuggled up to Eddie a little closer as they just took in the night sky in silence.
"Do you think it is true?" Rachel whispered, not really wanting to break the silence.
"What is true?"
"Just… when Mum died. Well just before. She umm… told us that the stars." She paused. "She told us that if we ever felt lost, all we had to do was look up at the stars and she would… help us. I think I've disbelieved it more than I've actually believed it."
Eddie was silent for longer than Rachel imagined that he would be and she felt like he only said something because he noticed her uncomfortableness.
"I think it was just meant to be a nice gesture." He said. "She didn't know how your life was to go. Maybe she hoped your dad would treat you better. Maybe she thought you were going to be fine. Maybe she knew of your ambition and thought that everything was going to be okay. That you would get out in a different way. Rachel, she didn't have a crystal ball. And I am sure she was looking down at you, trying to help you. She was just too far away to be able to help. I don't think that she would have wanted to leave you on her own if she knew what was going to happen."
"I don't actually know if things would have been better if she would have been about."
"Don't you think that she might have shielded you as you shielded Melissa?"
She shrugged. "Maybe. I'll never know."
"Then you can call me naïve but I believe it could have been the case. Everything that you've told me makes it seem that way. You only became his next victim because… well, it was easier to try and manipulate you than find someone else." He paused. "Sorry. That didn't sound right."
"Maybe not. But that's probably what happened."
It was cold outside.
Actually, it was absolutely freezing.
But Rachel didn't really feel it as she stood outside, with her cardigan wrapped tightly around her. She could see what Eddie meant. The night sky was hampered a bit by the light pollution around them but she could still see the stars. Not as brightly as when they were in Snowdonia, but she could still see them.
And Rachel found herself looking up at them, whispering to her mum, hoping that she would hear her. It wasn't really that fair that Rachel had tarnished her mum with the same brush that she had her dad all these years. Because it had tarnished the memories that she did have of her mum. There was no chance of her winning any mother of the year awards but maybe she hadn't been so bad under the circumstances. Maybe if her dad wasn't like he was, maybe they could have been an okay family. Maybe the differences that her and Melissa had would never have happened. Maybe they would have actually had the chance to be sisters.
But her dad was the way he was. And her mum was the way that she was. And her relationship with Melissa is strained even at the best of times.
Nothing could take away from the hurt that had already been done.
"Hey," Eddie said, scaring her out of her thoughts. "Are you okay?"
"Just… saw the view out of the kitchen window." She said, pointing at the window.
"You're thinking again, aren't you?"
"Maybe. Look, I know I can't change anything. But I do wonder how different things would have been if… things had been different."
He smiled down at her. "Come on then, Mason. Before you catch a chill and make yourself ill again."
She did allow herself to smile. She knew the way that he meant that last sentence. But she wasn't going to argue with him. Not when he had helped to give the stars a new meaning for her.
