Chapter 1: Welcome to the Takeuchi Resort

"Morning already," I stretch my arms and yawn. The morning sun shines brightly through my window. Today's gonna be so great! My window immediately breaks and wind gusts into my room, glass flying everywhere.

"What the hell," I say from being startled. I realize that a short girl with a wooden sword flew into my room through the now broken window.

"Did you just break my window? Do you know how annoying that is going to be to clean up and fix," I yell at her.

"I recommend not using that tone of voice with me sir," the mysterious girl angrily says back. I take a moment to properly examine her face. Sweat immediately runs down my face as soon as I realize who she is.

"Ms. Aisaka," I say, shocked.

"Forgive me! I forgot all about today," I apologize, scared. Throwing her sword, she plants it into the wall right beside my head, making me tremble.

"Get your ass down there so you can get the show on the road. Everyone's been waiting for forty-five minutes," She yells.

"R-Right, I'm on it," I quickly get myself dressed, throwing on my suit and tie as well as my fedora. I run out of my room, heading down flights of stairs and out of the main entrance. I see the huge crowd of guests waiting around in front of the podium stand. I run up to the podium to begin my introduction. I test the microphone to ensure it works.

"May I have everyone's attention for a moment," I speak into the mic. Everyone points their attention to me. So many eyes on me. It always makes me nervous.

"Sorry for the wait. I accidentally overslept and kinda forgot as well," I explain, nervously laughing. A majority of the crowd looks unimpressed.

"Anyway, I'm Renji Takeuchi and this is my personal assistant, Taiga Aisaka," I don't see Taiga make herself known to the guests with her appearance. I look behind me and it turns out she's not even here at the moment. The crowd looks confused probably thinking I've got a few screws loose or something.

"E-Excuse me for a second. I need to make a call," I say, ducking behind my podium. Taking out my phone, I call Taiga and wait for her to answer.

"Yo," she answers casually.

"Where the hell are you? You should be down here with me," I whisper.

"I am," she replies. I look up from the ground and she's suddenly right in front of me. How the hell? I hang up silently.

"Please introduce yourself," I get on my hands and knees so she can use my back as a stool to reach the mic. She steps up onto my back.

"I'm Mr. Takeuchi's personal assistant, Taiga Aisaka," she says.

"The rules should be clear to everyone as they are in the pamphlets that were sent to all of you and featured prominently around the resort. Korosensei's Class 3-E is the only exception to one specific rule due to their special circumstances. As there are a lot of new guests this year, it's also worth noting that you are all technically four years older here on this version of Earth compared to where you came from because of how time is different here. Please follow the laws as according to your age here. Now for roll call," She says, stepping down off of my back. I look down at the long list of names. I take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Oh boy, here we go.

"Korosensei & Class 3-E," I call out.

"Here," Korosensei replies and flies into the air.

"Being as smart as you are, You must already know where the specialized living arrangements for your class is at," I say.

"Yup, follow me my students," he flies to the back of the resort with his students following him on foot.

"SOS Brigade, Hakoniwa Academy Student Council, Straw Hat Pirates, Occult Research Club, Fairy Tail's Strongest, the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, the Investigation Team, SEES, Hope's Peak Academy," I continue.

"Here," they all respond back. Taiga marks the guests off the list as they are deemed present. Seeing the next name on the list, I take a huge sigh.

"Momiji," I say boringly.

"Here," Momiji mocks my blandish tone. Why did I allow Poverty God to come here again?

"What put you in a bad mood so suddenly," Taiga whispers.

"Momiji the God of Misfortune is my ex, believe it or not. It's not a story worth telling," I whisper back.

"Let's not even dig that up," she replies.

"I agree," I say. As we blow through roll call, I come to a name that holds great infamy for me.

"Sh-Shamsiel Shahar," my voice suddenly cracks. I clear my throat thoroughly.

"Sorry about that. Is Shamsiel here," I say more clearly.

"Here," her voice whispers in my right ear. Reluctantly, I look in the very front of the crowd. The pink haired succubus waves at me with a big mischievous grin on her face. I casually wave back. At least Shamsiel didn't choose to embarrass me in front of everyone. That would have been a drag.

"Taiga, please avoid that woman," I whisper to her.

"Why is that? Does she intend to cause trouble," she questions.

"You have no idea but I'll handle it," I respond. She understandingly nods her head. There's still so many names to call. We definitely got more guests than last year this time. It's been about forty minutes since we started. So tedious.

"This is honestly taking too long so let's just save some time. If I didn't call your name or group, please raise your pamphlet into the air at this moment," I say. About half of the crowd raises their pamphlets. Yeah, we would be here for about another hour or two.

"Thank you, roll call is now over," I conclude over the mic. Taiga jumps on my back so we can finally end this. I really need to get her a podium for her size.

"We hope you all enjoy your stay at the Takeuchi Resort," Taiga and I say cheerfully in unison.

Everyone claps for a moment then slowly make their way to the key pickup office to obtain their rooms. She jumps off my back and heads toward the staff building, in which we and the other staff reside. I grab the mic quickly to make another announcement.

"By the way if you feel the need to challenge me to a fight, I'll gladly accept," I say quickly. At the corner of my right eye, I see someone jump into the air.

"How about this," I hear a certain Fire Dragon Slayer yell.

"Natsu, it's been awhile hasn't it," I say enthusiastically.

With a sleight of hand, I grab one of my Desert Eagles from inside my suit, loading a special non lethal mag in a split second.

"Got ya now," Natsu is merely seconds away now. His right arm is shrouded in his dragon fire. At the corner of my left eye, I see two girls attempting to sneak in using the crowd. Oh shit, I gotta dodge Natsu first before I can take care of that. The wind and heat blow across my face as I barely dodge his punch. That was really close!

"You've gotten faster," Natsu compliments.

"Thanks, I've been training a bit recently but how about we put this fight on hold? My duty calls," I say, putting the gun away and needing to apprehend the trespassers.

"Do what you gotta do but we'll settle this at a later date," Natsu says, jumping back into the moving crowd. Alright, time to handle these trespassers.

"I see both of you. I don't recall seeing you in the crowd beforehand," I shout, pointing out the offenders. They notice me, stopping in their tracks. I jump into the crowd and yank both of them out, pulling them aside. Ugh, It's these two again? Give me a break.

"Excel, did you really think I wouldn't notice," I say.

"It's not like we're here to cause trouble," she says.

"Then what are you and Hyatt here for? Neither of you received an invitation," I ask. Excel nudges Hyatt with her elbow.

"Give Renji the paper," she whispers to Hyatt. She really needs to practice how to properly whisper.

"Um, Mr. Renji? Lord Il Palazzo would like for you to sign this," Hyatt says quietly, handing me the paper. Let's see what the leader of ACROSS has to say to me.

"When ACROSS reaches its goal, we will then expand our horizons to reach further beyond our own world. Please sign the paper as a treaty for us to recognize your world as an ally," I read. I sigh and take out a pen, signing my signature. I'm only signing just in case they do succeed then it won't bite me in the ass later. I hand Hyatt the paper back.

"It was nice doing business with ya," Excel says. They both start to walk past me.

"Not so fast now," I say, making them stop.

"Both of you are still not going into the resort," I say.

"You've gotta let us stay. We've been working hard all year and are in desperate need of a vacation. You can't just turn us away," she pleads. It would be nice if she knew how to stop talking a mile a minute.

"Hmmm, what to do," I say, toying with them.

"Please Mr. Renji," Hyatt says, coughing a bit. I can't really turn down the soft spoken Hyatt. She's too nice and sweet for that. I've reached a decision.

"Hyatt can stay but Excel has got to go," I say.

"WHAT! Why does Hyatt get to stay? That's not fair," Excel sputters.

"Are you going to be a nuisance to me and everyone around," I ask sharply.

"I swear to ACROSS that I won't be," she says, saluting. I know I'm making a mistake but if need be I can just kick her out. I turn my attention to Hyatt.

"Please make sure your hyperactive senior is well behaved or I'll be forced to contact Lord Il Palazzo," I tell her.

"Will do Mr. Renji sir," she says, shakily saluting. Excel's eyes sparkle with happiness. Excel immediately jumps on me, tightly hugging me. She's going to crush my organs if she hugs any tighter.

"Oh Thank you! Thank you! Thank you," Excel shouts excitedly.

"Please don't make me regret my decision," I warn.

"I promise I won't," she says, letting me free from her bear hug.

"Since I'm letting you two in without an invitation let alone free of charge, performing at the festival should be no problem," I ask.

"Is our theme song enough to cut it," she says.

"Ah yes, that would make a great opening act," I say.

"Thanks for being such a nice guy. We'll see you around," she says, walking off with Hyatt.

"See you two later," I say, waving goodbye. That takes care of that. Excel and her Saga. Why am I friends with her again? Then again, I'm friends with people who are so much more worse than her. Pulling out my phone, I call Taiga.

"Hey, what's up," she says.

"I'll be going back to my office. Please keep an eye out for strange behavior when you walk around," I tell her.

"Understood sir," she says. Hanging up, I make my way to my office in the staff building. Finally getting into my office, I let out a sigh of relief. Everything is going well so let's hope it stays this way. I can't afford the shenanigans that happened two years ago. My sponsors wouldn't take kindly to it. Someone knocks on my door. Who's that supposed to be?

"You may come in," I say. The door opens. Oh my god!

"G-Granberia," I stutter, taken aback.

"Long time no see Renji," Granberia says, smiling.

"I honestly wasn't expecting you," I say.

"That's the point of a surprise isn't it," she says.

"And...where did your armor disappear to," I ask.

"It's in my luggage of course. I don't just walk around in my armor every day. I have normal clothes just like everybody else y'know," she says. Does it have to be so revealing though?

"Now c'mere and give me a hug," she says. We throw our arms around each other, hugging tightly.

"I missed you a lot, my honey dragon," I say.

"I m-missed you too darling," she replies. We nuzzle our faces against each other then share a brief kiss. She goes and gets a box from her luggage.

"I brought some Ama-Ama Dango. I wanted us to eat together...if you have the time to that is," she says, blushing. It'll only take a few minutes so it should be ok.

"How incredibly sweet of you! Of course we can eat together," I say, taking and placing the box on my desk. Sitting down in my chair, Granberia sits on my lap to my surprise.

"O-Oh, I thought you were going to sit on the edge of the desk," I say.

"Then I'd be missing out on the best seat in the house," she says. She lays a hand on my cheek, narrowing her eyes at me.

"Or would you rather sit in my lap instead," she says in a low seductive tone.

"I-I-I mean if t-that's what you want then I really can't say no," I stutter with my eyes darting around. She chuckles at my reaction. Damn this woman! I hate that she knows what makes me tick.

"You look so cute and innocent when you blush like that. Can't afford to waste anymore time on teasing you however or we won't get to eat," she says.

"Of course," I say, having regained my composure. Reaching into the box, she pulls out a Dango, holding it carefully as to not get honey all over her fingers.

"Open wide," she says. Opening my mouth, she pushes it right in. As I chew, the delectable taste brings back memories of how we met and got together.

"Just as delicious as I remember it," I say.

"I'm glad you still like it," she says.

"So what's making you act like this," I ask.

"What's that supposed to mean," she says.

"All I'm saying is that you're not acting like yourself," I say.

"If we have sex, you'll find that I'm no different. Oh speaking of which, how long has it been for you," she asks.

"What are you insinuating by that," I ask.

"Don't you have sex or masturbate when I'm not here," she asks.

"N-No, why would I do that? You're supposed to only be fucking your partner which is you in this case and even then I don't have that kind of time to get one out," I say. She's looking at me like what I just said is crazy.

"Y-You look really pissed," I say, worried.

"You're telling me you haven't engaged in any sexual activity for a year," she asks.

"That's correct," I affirm. She takes a deep breath and sighs.

"You're allowed to fool around with other people. If you weren't then I would have not allowed what Erubetie and Alma Elma did to you last year. I'm not expecting you to abstain until I'm here either. That sounds like hell," she explains. ARE YOU SERIOUS? I hug this beautiful woman.

"I wish I would've known that! It has been complete and utter torture. It felt like I was going insane honey," I say.

"I'm sorry darling. I thought it was pretty clear," she apologizes, comforting me. Despite being focused on Granberia, I notice Taiga walk in.

"Oh hey Taiga," I say.

"Am I interrupting something," she says.

"Not in the slightest. Actually, you two have never met before so I guess an introduction is needed. Would you like to do the honors," I say.

"Sure thing," Granberia says, getting off of my lap.

"I am Granberia the dragonkin Swordswoman of Fire and one of the Heavenly Knights. A pleasure to meet you," Granberia says.
"It's nice to meet you. I'm Taiga Aisaka and while I'm just a normal human girl, I am Renji's assistant. He hired me for this year," Taiga says. Getting out of my chair, I stand by Granberia's side, putting my arm around her waist.

"And as you probably figured out, she's my girlfriend," I say.

"So now that I think about it, how come you never talked about her before," Taiga says.

"You don't talk about me to your friends," Granberia says, looking at me kinda angrily.

"Well, you see-," I begin to say but I suddenly feel a hidden presence in the room making me cut myself off.

"Shamsiel, I know you're in here," I say. Shamsiel appears to the left of me, hovering slightly off of the ground.

"I hate that you can do that now. It ruins the fun," Shamsiel says, pouting.

"Oh, so you're here as well," Granberia says, unmoved by her sudden appearance.

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be," Shamsiel says.

"Because I originally banned you two years ago for that stunt you pulled. I expect no trouble from you this year," I say angrily.

"And you're still sour about it? I think getting you hooked up with Granberia last year made up for that incident. You two would have never gotten together without my meddling," Shamsiel shouts.

"E-Excuse me Renji but isn't that the same woman you said to watch out for and why is she dressed like that anyway," Taiga asks, confused.

"Wow Renji, you don't talk about me either unless it's in a negative light? How rude considering what I've done for you all your life," Shamsiel says.

"Alright how about we do a flashback to understand everything," I say, getting annoyed.

"But the chapter is about to end and we have barely progressed the story. You can't just do a flashback chapter this early," Taiga points out.

"There isn't really a story here. Only silly and sexual situations made at the expense of Renji," Shamsiel explains.

"Not to also mention the references that will be made," Granberia adds.

"Hold on! I didn't ask for this! We need this year to be normal damn it," I object.

"Sorry but it's out of our hands. Now start the flashback," Shamsiel says.

"Fine, so allow me to explain everything by going over what happened last year," I say, sitting down on the floor with everyone else following suit.