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Neither of them had realized they'd fallen asleep until Jean's eyes fluttered open with the early morning light that floated into the library. The light danced across her face for a few minutes, forcing her to close her eyes again. She groaned as she stretched, pushing against the soft cushions and another warm object. It was then she felt the weight on her head and shoulder. Her eyes shot opened and she felt the weight lift from her head. She looked up at her pillow and found Logan looking down at her.

"Morning," he said, voice husky with lack of use. Logan had been awake longer than Jean and had not only watched the sun rise, but had watched the rays skip over her face. Since she'd come back, he'd never seen her face as peaceful as he did that morning. He'd known she was beautiful, but he was pretty sure he'd seen nothing like her sleeping face.

"Morning," she answered finally. "I'm sorry for falling asleep on you."

"No need for apologies," he told her, looking down as she looked up.

It would be so easy to kiss her, the thought to himself. She looked sleep tussled and ridiculously tempting, but Logan fought valiantly. With all of the indecision she was suffering, he didn't want to confuse her any further.

"Thank you," she said, looking away.

"For what?"

"You've been fantastic," she said softly. "I've been a pain."

"You've been confused, Jeannie. You're allowed to overreact," he theorized.

"But it's not fair to…"

"You need to release it somehow."

"I just…" she trailed off with a shrug and sat up fully, his arm falling off of her shoulder. He didn't push her to tell him anything, but when she didn't answer he prompted her.

"You just…?"

"Never mind." Logan wasn't sure what to do. Part of him had hoped that with the bear, Jean would have opened up, trusted him enough to open up. Unfortunately, it didn't seem like it was going to happen. The other part of him seriously felt he needed to get it out of her. He sighed heavily, frustration evident in every muscle of his body. She was playing with her hands in her lap in nervousness. He stood.

"I'll see you around," he said, leaving her in shock on the couch.


She had been hurt when he requested to chaperone the latest town trip. It was another person who didn't want to spend time with her, who thought she wasn't worth the attention. Thus, she once again sequestered herself in the underground labs and rooms of the basement. She'd decided upon busy work, relying on the mundane tasks of recalibration of her equipment and updating all of the danger room software. That didn't even begin on the updates to the plane or within her lab's security system…

"Jean?" She was updating all of the medical files when Rogue walked in. She smiled tightly as she faced the young woman.

"Hello, Rogue." Rogue stepped up to her with a friendly smile.

"Have you talked to Logan?" the younger woman asked as she took a seat at their regular lab bench. Jean shook her head.

"Have you talked to anyone?" Rogue wasn't surprised when Jean shook her head again. Still, she acted appropriately.

"Not even the professor?" Jean looked at her, confused.

"Why would I…?"

"About coming back to teach?"

"Rogue…"

"You have to! None of us understand anything that Mr Summers is trying to teach us!" Rogue complained. "Anyone who wanted to go to med school is seriously reconsidering."

"Rogue, we've had this conversation. I'm not going back to teaching."

"Please, Dr Grey?"

"Rouge…"

"I'm teaching everyone off of what you teach me,' she said, leaning forward towards the doctor. Jean sighed and rested her head in her hands.

"I can't, Rogue," she said with new conviction.

"Why not?" Rogue returned passionately. "You're damned smart, Dr Grey, and you know you're the only one with enough knowledge to give any of us a chance!"

"I can't do it, Rogue!" Jean yelled, slamming her hands on the table. Rogue jumped, but didn't run.

"Why can't you do it?" Rogue's voice was a whisper. "I'll stop asking if you'll explain to me why you won't help us."

"There's no deal-making, Rogue. I won't go back." Rogue sighed and started picking up her books, facing Jean when she was finished.

"I'm not afraid of you, Dr Grey and I won't be. I trust you and I trust your knowledge. I just wish you'd trust and share with us." With that, Rogue left


Jean loved the roof, just to the right of the living room chimney to keep the regular wind that bombarded to house away. She came up here to think, like the statue, but without the care as to who could find her.

She was extremely glad that the night was crystal clear and mild enough that her sweatshirt was warm enough. The stars sparkled, calming frazzled nerves and chaotic thoughts. Her conversation with Rogue had surprised her; her anger had annoyed her; Logan's reaction that morning had confused her. She was still reeling from it all.

"Hey Logan," she said softly, having sensed more than seen or heard his approach.

"Hey back," he answered, taking a seat beside her. They stayed silent for a few moments, both too absorbed in the stars and thoughts to care.

Jean knew she had a decision to make. She had to choose between telling Logan about what Rogue had said, about her fears, or keeping it bottled up and allowing it to eat at her. As a newly private person, it was a hard decision to make.

He watched her struggled with the decision out of the corner of his eye. He was sure Rogue had seen and talked to Jean that afternoon and wondered what could have Jean so out of sorts that she was out on the roof.

"Rogue wants me to go back to teaching," Jean said softly, finally breaking the silence. He wasn't exactly sure how to respond and settled for watching her hands play with the edge of the blanket. When she glanced at him, he knew she expected a response.

"Do you want to?" It was really the only thing he could think of saying without feeling like he was prying. Jean shrugged.

"Partly." It was an honest answer. Jean knew Rogue had played on her inherent need to help people when the younger woman asked her to return to teaching. Jean wanted these kids to succeed outside of the Institute and she knew some of them adored sciences, enough to want to continue in the field.

"Then what's stopping you?" Logan always went for what he wanted and indecision wasn't normal for him.

"Trust," she whispered.

"Sorry?"

"Trust," Jean repeated, stronger this time.

"You don't trust people?" He was confused.

"They don't trust me," she said, a strong anger in her voice. But then her demeanour changed completely and she slouched in defeat.

"I don't trust myself." Logan turned indignant.

"Whoa! You don't what?"

"Trust myself," she repeated. Now that she'd started, her brain wouldn't let her stop. "With anything. I don't know the extent of my abilities, whether it's increased or decreased, whether its safe or dangerous. When you told me to look for myself… It terrified me Logan. What if I'd killed you? What if I kill a student?"

"You have control, Jean." She sighed in frustration.

"Do I really? I yelled at Rogue today and I knew my control slipped. What's stopping it from slipping when I'm…"

"Jeannie," Logan began, looking back up at the stars. However, he didn't continue after that.

"What?"

"I trust you, and I trust in the control you have."

"You're one person!" She was completely sick of the argument they were having. She'd talked to Rogue about it and was sure neither of them were ever going to see her side.

"You have to start somewhere," he responded. "Have you talked to Xavier?"

"Why would I talk to the professor?" Logan shrugged.

"About your fears. Maybe he could help you with your control." He stopped there and they lapsed into silence, both allowing themselves to once again get lost in thought.

"What if he can't?"

"You won't know until you try," Logan pointed out. Jean rolled her eyes, but patted the blanket she was sitting on. Immediately, he moved beside her and she curled up against him, drowning in the comfort he seemed more than willing to provide.

"I'm sorry for not spilling my heart," she said after a long, comfortable silence. "I know you want to know what I'm thinking, I know you want to help. I want you to know I appreciate it.

"Jean…"
"You don't want to push," she continued, as if she hadn't heard him. "And I appreciate the time you've given me to straighten out where I'm going and who I trust."

"Jean," he started again, stronger this time.

"I want to tell you." That stopped his interruption, and most of his thought processes.

"I wish I could tell you my hopes and dreams, Logan, especially after everyone abandoned me. It's just hard for me to open up when no one has said more than two words to me since I've started to breathe again.

"Jeannie."

"I know I can trust you," she continued with a soft smile. "You've been nothing but spectacular and supportive, but my heart is afraid of being abandoned again.

"I wouldn't be able to," he told her honestly.

"I'm trying Logan. I'm trying really hard." He could hear the tears in her voice, even if her head was pillowed on his shoulder.

"You don't have to prove anything to me," he told her honestly. "I won't believe you've changed enough to hurt anyone."

"Why?" It was an honest question.

"For the same reason I couldn't believe you were dead."

"Which is?"

"Some other time. When you've settled your mind, I'll tell you," he promised.

"Why?"

"Why what Jeannie?"

"Why… You won't tell me anything."

"I don't want to have you dealing with the reasons before you've settled everything with everyone else," he explained calmly, his hand combing soothingly through her hair.

"How does everyone else factor into this?"

"Just trust me," he told her, leaving no room for discussion. Though frustrated, Jean let the subject drop. They sat starting at the starry night for a while before Logan spoke.

"Let's go inside. I want to give you something." She followed him willingly, back into the Institiute and through the corridors to his room.

"You can come in if you want," he told her as they reached the doors. Jean paused for a second, but followed him in. She sat on the bed while Logan dug for a minute in his drawers. Finally, he seemed to find what he was looking for and faced her. She recognized the object as he sat beside her. After a minute had passed he passed the purple bear to her. She trailed her fingers over the twin flower lollipops before meeting his gaze.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"Share bear," Logan answered lowly.

"For sharing?" Jean guessed.

"Partly. She comes with a promise."

"A promise?" Jean questioned tentatively.

"I promise to tell you why I wouldn't believe you were dead," he told her gravely.

"That's a big promise to make," she said, tracing her fingertips over the bear's face.

"I know."