I Write Sins not Tragedies

A/N okay so you guys this is the sixth chapter and I hope you all enjoy it. I liked writing this one so I hope you all enjoy reading it! And I'm so happy you all liked the flashbacks last chapter.

insomniaaa: yeah it really does suck but she said that no matter all the other friends she makes none of them will be as great as me (: hah it makes me feel so loved.

A reminder: Italics are memories of words spoken

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS, CLAMP does. I do own this plot but the song I use for the story belongs to Panic! At the Disco.

Recap of chapter 5…

"How'd the lunch with Megumi go?" Akira asked walking around the corner. He had heard the front door open and knew that his wife was home.

Sakura was about to ask him what he was talking about until she remembered that that was the name of the friend she said she was going to meet.

"Not like I thought it would have," she answered.

Chapter 6: An Exchanging of Words

Syaoran was now back at his and Eriol's apartment. He had come straight home after Sakura had left him. As soon as he had returned he had gone straight to his bookshelf at the back of the room. He started frantically looking through the hundreds of books he had on the shelf wondering where what he was looking for could be.

"Come on…" he mumbled to himself frustrated. "I know you're here somewhere, be a good book to Daddy and let me find you."

After a good five to ten minutes of looking through half the books he owned, the others were in the bookshelf in his room, he found what he was looking for.

"Aha!" he shouted triumphantly, "I knew it was here!" he pulled the book he had been looking so desperately for and held it up in the air absorbing the look of the cover. It was old and worn out, practically falling off but you could still see the title on it.

It was Oliver Twist, the book he had been reading the day Sakura had finally agreed to go out with him. Since that day, it had been his all time favourite book. He got up from his spot by the bookshelf not even bothering to clean up the mess of book he had made, and sat down on the couch flipping through the pages. He stopped on one page in particular. In his messy handwriting he had written: She said yes. As a reminder that this was the page he had been on when Sakura had said yes. This was his favourite page of the book because of that moment.

He knew most people would probably find it lame for him to be doing this with a book and saying it's his favourite because of that and everything, but he didn't care. She was the only girl he had ever felt this way over, there were times he couldn't stop thinking about her. This book always helped him imagine she was there. Every time he read this book the memory of the day she said yes would come back to him like it happened yesterday. Who would have thought a book could mean so much to a guy?

He remembered one time Eriol wanted him to give some of his books away to a used book sale.

"You've read all of them already so what's the big deal if you sell some of them?" he had asked him.

Syaoran had agreed to give some away, but not all, "Some you just can't help but read over again and again," he stated when Eriol argued.

Back then there had been about another case full of books so Syaoran was proud of himself when he had gotten rid of that much.

Then he saw that Eriol had gone through the one bookcase and Oliver Twist was in the box. At that moment he had seen red.

"Why'd you put that one in there?" he remembered exploding at his friend.

"That's an old book and I've seen you read it like five hundred times," Eriol had replied calmly. He had no idea how much that one simple book had meant to his friend.

"I won't let you give that one away!" he had exploded.

"Syaoran, man it's a simple little book that's so old the cover is almost falling off. Why would you want to keep it?" his friend had sighed. Syaoran remembered he knew that Eriol was getting frustrated with him and his books, but he would have given away every single book he owned and his right arm to keep this book.

"This one has sentimental value, and it's my favourite. I can't let you get rid of it," he had said that so defiantly that Eriol had given up and told him he would let him keep it.

But later Syaoran had found out that Eriol had gotten rid of it and sent it to the sale. He would have beaten his friend up it he hadn't so badly wanted to get his book back. Eriol's excuse was: You're books take up too much room in the apartment. Syaoran hadn't cared. Eriol knew from the very beginning he liked to read and should have been prepared for all those books he would be bringing home.

He had rushed to the book sale and frantically looked around for the book when he finally seen it. There was an old lady on her way over to it. He remembered he hadn't thought of anything at that moment but beating the old lady to his book. He had done a sprint over to the table and right when the old lady was about to pick it up he had snatched it right before she grasped it.

He smirked at the memory. He had felt guilty being mean to the old lady, but his book came first. After he had taken the book from her he remembered she had gone into a rant about young people and no respect for the elderly and how he had waited 'til she had gone to pick it up to snatch it on purpose. He remembered he just ignored her and paid for the book that should never have been there in the first place.

Syaoran sighed happily and looked down at the old book in his hands, "We've been through so much together haven't we buddy?" he asked the inanimate object. "In fact I think we've been through so much together, that you deserve a name." )A/N I name all my favourite books, it makes them mean more) He smiled fondly at the book. "Now I want to give you a name that is original and cool at the same time, you know, I've always liked the names Zach and Adam, how about we combine the two and call you Zadam? From this day forward your name is Zadam."

Right when he said that Eriol walked in with the weeks groceries, "Uh, did I just hear you name your book?" he stared at his friend like he grew an extra head.

"Nope you heard absolutely nothing," Syaoran replied turning away from him blushing at being caught naming his book. He then stood up and went to his room slamming the door. Sat down on his bed and started to read "Zadam" from the beginning.

"Whatever man…" Eriol muttered to himself and went into the little kitchenette they had and started putting the groceries away. He had yet to notice the mess Syaoran had made earlier by the bookshelf.

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Sakura was sitting on the couch in her living room. She had started reading a new book and she was enthralled by it. Her friend Naoko Yanagisawa had recommended the book to her. Naoko had always been a bookworm, like herself. One of the main reasons they were friends was because they liked to compare all the books they'd read. The latest book she had been recommended to read was The Lovely Bones, which she agreed with what Naoko had told her from the beginning, it was a touching story. It was about a girl who had been murdered by her neighbour who never got caught for her murder while she watched her family and friends go on with their lives and try to move on after her death while she watched them up in heaven. Sakura couldn't help but be amazed at how the author had explained her vision of how heaven worked through her book. From this author's opinion, heaven was however you imagined it. Your idea of heaven was the heaven you lived in after you died. The thing she found sad was the only people you would see there would be the people who died and whose vision of heaven was close to the same as yours. For the main character in the story, it was her high school that she never got to attend.

Sakura placed the book down on her lap and stared off into space thinking to herself. What was her vision of heaven? If she died, what kind of heaven would she be sent to? Would she be sent to the high school she attended? Because that was a place she had been happy. Or would it be a place that she felt most at home? Like a library? She sat there thinking to herself until in her mind she had come up with her perfect heaven. It was then she started to think: Who would be there with me? Would Akira be there? What about Syaoran?

At that moment Akira walked into the room and sat beside her. He leaned over and kissed her temple and whispered, "What are you thinking so hard about?" he had noticed when he came in she was deep in thought. She had this face she made when she was thinking hard about something. Being around her for so many years had helped him notice it. Her forehead would scrunch up and her eyes would get a little smaller and she would frown.

His voice snapped her out of her thoughts and she turned to look at him, "What? Did you say something?"

"I asked you what you were thinking so hard about," Akira answered a little angry that he had to repeat himself. He always hated when he had to repeat himself, the person should have been paying attention in the first place.

"Oh nothing…" Sakura trailed off looking down. When she did, she saw the cover of her book and decided to ask him a question. "Akira…can I…ask you something?"

"Sure, what is it?" he asked curiously.

"What…what's your idea of heaven?" she asked nervously turning away so she wouldn't have to look at him.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked confused. He didn't know what kind of answer she wanted from him.

"You know, you're idea of heaven, what you would want to be there and how you think everything would look," Sakura tried to explain. She continued to look down at her book waiting for his reply.

He sat back and closed his eyes as he thought about what she said and tried to imagine his idea of heaven.

"I guess there would be lots of sports, like the super bowl on all the time, I would never have to do research on any of my cases and always win them, the foods always good, I could spend as much time at home as I wanted instead of always having to work, and…well that I can spend as much time as I want with you," he smiled. Sakura gave a weak one back, he was trying to be sweet to make up for the problems they had been having lately, but she noticed that she didn't fit into any part of his heaven, just the part where he said he wanted to spend time with her.

"But what kind of setting does this heaven have? Where does it all take place? Like is it at a law firm? A football field? What?" she asked curiously. She was desperate to find out if their heavens were even remotely similar. At least than she would know if she and Akira could be meant to be together.

"I guess right here in this house, because it's the house I share with you," he answered.

She smiled at him nodding her head. "Okay," she answered and got up. She picked up her bookmark off the end table and marked her page and closed her book.

"Why did you want to know?" he asked as she started to walk out of the room.

"Just curious," she shrugged.

"Will you tell me yours?" he asked hopefully.

"Maybe later," she replied before walking completely out of his view.

She walked up the stairs to her room and walked over to the phone. She started flipping through the callers list until she found the number she was looking for.

She dialled the number and sat down on the bed while she waited for the person to pick up. Eventually a familiar voice answered.

"Hello?" he asked. He sounded annoyed. He must have been doing something and didn't like being interrupted, Sakura had thought.

"Syaoran?" she asked softly. "It's Sakura."

"Hey Sakura," Syaoran said surprised. He hadn't expected her to be the one calling him. "What's up?"

"Can I ask you a question?" she asked nervously.

"Shoot," he replied.

"Syaoran… what's your vision of heaven?"

He was quiet for a while; Sakura had started to wonder if he was still there for a minute until he spoke again.

"There would be endless shelves full of books that were just waiting to be read, good music would be playing all the time like The Clash and all that kind of stuff, I'd never need to worry about money like I usually always am and I…have you by my side all the time," was his answer. He had whispered the last part as if he was embarrassed to admit that to her and tears came to her eyes as she heard his response to her question.

"Okay," she whispered. His heaven sounded perfect.

"Why did you want to know?" he asked confused.

"Just wondering about something," she responded. "I'll talk to you tomorrow," she said before she hung up on him.

After placing the phone down she laid back on her bed and let the tears roll down her face. She rolled over and closed her eyes and fell asleep.

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She was having a dream. She was in heaven, well her version of heaven.

She was in what appeared to be a library with endless shelves of books. In the background her favourite song The Guns of Brixton by The Clash was playing.

When they kick at your front door

How are you gonna come?

With your hands on your head

Or on the trigger of your gun

She walked through the aisles of books looking at all the different titles. Touching the covers to see how they felt. She found one book in particular and reached out and grabbed it off the overflowing shelf. She opened the book and flipped through the pages taking a sniff. She had always loved smelling old books. This one was her favourite of all time, The Fountain Head.

When the law break in

How are you gonna go?

Shot down on the pavement

Or waiting on death row

She closed the book and heard the noise of movement from around the shelf. She walked around and saw him. There was Syaoran sitting there at the table reading Oliver Twist. She walked over to him and sat down. He heard the movement of her chair pulling out and looked to see his visitor. He smiled when he saw it was she.

You can crush us

You can bruise us

But you'll have to answer to

Oh, the guns of Brixton

"I see you've come to join me," he replied. All she did was nod. "Not talking I see, what's that book you've got there?" She lifted the book up so he could see the cover. "You and that Ayn Rand, how many times do I have to tell you she's nothing but a political nut before you realise what a waste of a read that is?"

The money feels good

And your life you like it well

But surely your time will come

As in heaven, as in hell

"Until the end of time," she finally spoke. "And she's not a political nut, she's a genius," she spoke defiantly to him. He never answered her, just continued to read his book.

You see, he feels like Ivan

Born under the Brixton sun

His game is called survivin'

At the end of the harder they come

He had been quiet for what seemed like forever before he spoke to her again. "Isn't something missing here to you?" When she gave him a confused looked he continued trying to explain himself. "Don't you think something's missing?"

You know it means no mercy

They caught him with a gun

No need for the Black Maria

Goodbye to the Brixton sun

She thought about it for a minute and couldn't for the life of her try to figure out what he was trying to say to her. "No, everything here is perfect. It's just like heaven."

You can crush us

You can bruise us

Yes, even shoot us

But oh-the guns of Brixton

He nodded his head and closed his book. He got up from his seat and walked over to her spot. She looked at him confused but he just bent down and placed his lips over hers.

When they kick at your front door

How are you gonna come?

With your hands on your head

Or on the trigger of your gun

He pulled away and stood up. She stood up from her seat and wrapped her arms around his neck and placed her lips over his. He placed his hands on her hips and pulled her closer to him as they started to kiss passionately in the empty library like room. Eventually they had to pull apart from the lack of air.

You can crush us

You can bruise us

Yes, even shoot us

But oh-the guns of Brixton

After pulling away from him she looked up and smiled at him. He smiled back and brought his lips to her ear and whispered, "I'm glad your husband doesn't fit into your heaven…"

Shot down on the pavement

Waiting in death row

His game is called survivin'

As in heaven as in hell

Her eyes went wide when she realized what he was saying. That was why he asked if something was missing. She was so wrapped up in having Syaoran a part of her heaven she hadn't taken the time to notice.

You can crush us

You can bruise us

But you'll have to answer to

Oh, the guns of Brixton

"Akira, doesn't belong in my heaven…"

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Sakura woke up from her dream sweating and breathing heavily. She sat and looked around her trying to take in her surroundings. She was no longer in that perfect heaven. She looked over and saw Akira lying on his side on his part of the bed. He breathing started to calm down a bit. She laid back down and had only one thought running through her mind.

"What kind of a wife am I if I can picture a heaven without my husband, but not without my ex-boyfriend who still wants to be with me?"

It was official, every time she imagined her heaven, she couldn't picture it without Syaoran there, but Akira was never apart of it. What did this mean?

TBC

A/N and there is the third chapter for you all! I hope you all enjoyed and liked the part where they talked about their heavens. Anyways remember to read and review! Ciao!