Disclaimer: I was in the mood for more angst, and Power Rangers is my vehicle… just deal with it.
Youth
It was exactly 1:03 in the morning when I first heard the sirens. They wailed into the dark sky, breaking the heavy silence around us.
"You will be in love again one day." He said it so matter-of-factly, calm and reassuring. He held my tired hand and kissed each knuckle.
"The world is changing around us, huh? The era of courage is over, and we're the last ones to admit it." The carburetor gave a hefty sigh, letting the steam swirl around our damp hair.
"I won't be the first or the last in the grand scheme of it all, and maybe that is the irony in this." I tore my gaze from his weary eyes. He didn't deserve to be here.
And hadn't it been such a fairytale to start? We were two sweethearts so in love with life; so hopeful in the new day. Even distance could not ruin our romance. With him in Boston and me at home, we managed to love over synthesized letters and telephone lines. It was tonight that we were reunited after a year apart, fate finally intertwining our lives.
He looked more handsome than ever, if that was possible; age adding wisdom behind his twinkling gaze. I held his embrace as we savored our night, this too-perfect night with cloudless skies.
"Guess what, love? You'll never guess in a million years!" His eyes were alight with the vigor of youth, and I caught the momentum. I ran my hand through his thick hair, my heart so full from this warmth I had missed.
"You're coming back home?"
"Better. I've been asked to be the new Angel Grove DA! Now I can marry you properly." He smiled at me like I was the only girl alive. And in the sweeping music of the restaurant, my Harvard boy asked me to dance. Slowly drifting in the warm breeze, we kissed in the moon light. The Crushed Rose lipstick I had borrowed from my mother still adorned his gravel smashed cheek like a target. That was supposed to be our beginning.
"You're so far away from me baby…" He tightened his fingers on my wrist as the fuel pooled away, returning me to him.
"I'll never be far away from you, ever." I had even worn his favorite dress tonight; the bright red taffeta with the skirt that caught the breeze. It swirled in the humid stink of gasoline, running against his leg. The sash clenched my waist like a grenade; the only thing keeping my lungs from falling out. There was no breath between us.
And the scene replayed in my head like a nightmare; this haunting travesty of destiny. I was sitting in the passenger's seat, laughing to the John Denver CD he insisted on playing. It was 10:30 on the dot, and such a starry night.
"How dare you mock this? John Denver is like a god, you blasphemer. I'll have you know that our children will be raised to this music, you mark my words." Our children. And in unison we reached for each other's hand, breathing in the beauty of his words. I didn't know I could ever smile so wide. He caught my expression and gave a quiet grin.
"I want you to know how much I love you, Kath. I love you so much, I want to explode." He brought my hand to his lips, before turning back to the road.
"I love you too darling. So much." He began humming along with 'Wind Song', as I closed my eyes to his voice.
It was the guttural roar of the smashing metal first, before anything else. I didn't know where my screams began and the breaking windshield ended. We tumbled like acrobats as the force of the other car flipped us on our side. I couldn't see anything until the little fires crept closer to the window. I couldn't tell if I was hurt or not. All I knew was that Jason was still holding my hand, still clutching it like a vice. I was able to nudge closer to him, grasping for his face, so happy that we were alive. Until I felt the warmth on the back of his head, felt the wet stickiness on my fingers.
"Darling. Can you hear me? I'm okay, but I need you to count out loud for me. You've hurt your head." And I was so devastatingly afraid he was unconscious or even comatose, until I heard a hoarse 'one, two, three...' from his dirty silhouette. I made him count until the sirens came. I made him count for all one hundred and fifty three minutes we were alone, just so I knew he was alive.
"Kath… don't be scared for me. I'm only tired. Just give me your smile so I can fall asleep." And as I returned from my memory, I knew this wasn't a nightmare. This was worse. Because his life was mine, but the blood was his, and our faith was evaporating with the smoke. I gave him a watery smile and ran my fingers over his sweat-covered forehead.
"I promise to give you all the smiles you want once we get to the hospital." The ambulance was trying so hard to reach us; I could hear their muffled yells and violent attempts. I wanted to hope, to try, but the weight and measure of his black SUV was crushing our spirits. He closed his eyes.
"Please, Jason, just stay awake for me. This isn't the end. You're my fighter." And let that be enough. Let his passion and potential save him one more time. This wasn't another terrible enemy, and this wasn't another superficial war. This was the last battlefield for his dying breed.
The seconds ticked by, until I barely saw the dark eyes under heavy lids. I began to move, but he only shook his head as best he could, and looked up to me. His youth-sweetened face was resigned with pain and acceptance.
"My beautiful Kat. You will love again... but Death will be my final sweetheart." He said it so matter-of-factly, calm and reassuring. He held my tired cheek and kissed each tear. There, taut against the crispy glass, we lay in reflection.
Until I witnessed an execution upon the fractured dashboard.
Author's Note: Hopefully this wasn't too hard to follow... the idea came to me last night at two in the morning, so I blame it on insomnia. Also, the editing system keeps bunching strings of words together when I save my document. I try to catch it, but there's always that pesky line. I swear they're out to ruin me. Comments and critique welcome as always.
