I Write Sins not Tragedies
A/N and I'm back with chapter seven! I'm so glad that you all loved the last chapter; you're all so cute in your reviews! I hope this chapter satisfies everyone because you all seemed to love the last chapter. I am so sorry! This has been done all week but my internet has been retarded lately and wouldn't let me update! Anyways messages to some reviewers!
SyaoranFan001: yes I know Panic! At The Disco is one of the best in the whole world (: and to that girl who rubs it in your face that she's going to see them HAH I already have lol I went to the Nintendo Fusion Tour that they were with Fallout Boy, Motion City Soundtrack and The Starting Line which are all very great bands that I highly recommend everybody to listen to. Anyways the whole point is, yeah P!ATD should be loved by all….lead singer is hawt too…
GlassEmotions: thanks for the review and no there are no clow cards in this fic :P
insomniaaa: I know I cried almost all the way through the book! And I don't usually cry easily…I felt so bad for her father when he started destroying his bottled ships. And yeah I love my friends.
Lyphta: really? You're reading Ayn Rand? Haha that's awesome! And you so should read your copy of The Lovely Bones it's so good! And I'll try and find that book you mentioned it sounds really cool, maybe I'll even mention it in the story ;)
Tella: thanks for the compliment (: I really wanted to try and make them seem like real people, I mean what kind of story would it be if the characters seemed to good to be true?
Disclaimer: I do not own CCS, CLAMP does. I do own this plot though and my love for the band Panic! At the Disco, that I swear nobody can ever beat as much as they wish….oh yeah and the song I use for the story belongs to them but I mention that in every chapter so I'm really starting to wonder what's the point in saying it anymore. I also don't own the song Zero. That belongs to The Smashing Pumpkins, though I do own my love for the song since it's one of my favourites.
Recap of chapter 6…
Sakura woke up from her dream sweating and breathing heavily. She sat and looked around her trying to take in her surroundings. She was no longer in that perfect heaven. She looked over and saw Akira lying on his side on his part of the bed. He breathing started to calm down a bit. She laid back down and had only one thought running through her mind.
"What kind of a wife am I if I can picture a heaven without my husband, but not without my ex-boyfriend who still wants to be with me?"
It was official, every time she imagined her heaven, she couldn't picture it without Syaoran there, but Akira was never apart of it. What did this mean?
Chapter 7: What a Beautiful Wedding
The next day Sakura couldn't get her dream out of her head. The images kept playing over and over in her head. She was in what she pictured Syaoran's heaven looked like that he described over the phone to her. The song playing in the background was hers and Syaoran's song from when they were dating. They had shared a love for the classic punk band, which was something they had in common and loved about each other besides that they both liked to read. They had decided The Guns of Brixton would be their song because they had both agreed that it was the best Clash song around. Akira didn't share her love for The Clash.
Akira…
She was so disappointed in herself for not being able to picture him in her heaven. A loving wife should be able to at least get a glimpse of her husband in her heaven. Maybe it was showing her that she and Akira didn't have anything in common? That was pretty true now that she thought about it.
The only books Akira ever read were law books that could help him with his cases, he liked politics which the very thought of put her to sleep, he, in her opinion, had terrible taste in music. He thought The Clash was garbage, he didn't know who Bjork was, and he didn't listen to The Ramones, when she talked about The Bangles he thought she was talking about jewellery! He was completely out of it when it came to the music scene.
She didn't know why she had stayed with him when he knew nothing about music. Maybe it was just because she loved him and let it pass. She tried to ignore him when he said something about The Clash though. Syaoran would have hurt him if he heard him say something about them…Syaoran was always defensive about his music.
She remembered at a party back in high school when they had been together. Syaoran sat with her while she talked to a girl who hadn't known much about music and spoke about bands that she listened to that Syaoran had never thought were any good. He had always called them a waste of music. He had sat there being polite as long as he could before he couldn't take it anymore and got up mumbling something along the lines of "Oh my god!" before he ran to another room trying to get as far away from her as possible.
That memory was a few weeks before their relationship had ended. She had no idea why she was thinking of that now. She shook her head to stop thinking about her past and started to think of her dream again.
In the dream Syaoran had asked her if anything was missing. She should have known what he was trying to get at but for some reason the thought of Akira not being there had never even crossed her mind. It should have been the first thing she thought of! She should have been like any wife and notice her husband wasn't with her.
She decided to stop thinking about it for now and listen to some music. It always calmed her down at times like this. She decided to listen to her Smashing Pumpkins CD, in her opinion it was their best CD Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. She had always had a thing for their depressing lyrics. She closed her eyes as she listened to her favourite song by them, Zero.
My reflection, dirty mirror
There's no connection to myself
I'm your lover, I'm your zero
I'm the face in your dreams of glass
So save your prayers
For when you're really gonna need 'em
Throw out your cares and fly
Wanna go for a ride?
Akira came into the room to find his wife sitting on the couch with her head leaned back on the couch with her eyes closed listening to the music coming from the stereo. He listened to the song with disgust. How could she like this kind of music? He found this song a little to heavy for his liking. He always questioned his wife's taste in music. She seemed to listen to anything.
She's the one for me
She's all I really need
Cause she's the one for me
"How can you listen to this stuff?" he asked snapping Sakura out of her position on the couch. She looked over to find Akira standing in the room with his arms crossed with a look of distaste, which told her simply that he didn't like the music playing. 'What else is new?' she thought sarcastically.
Emptiness is loneliness
And loneliness is cleanliness
And cleanliness is godliness
And God is empty just like me
"What's wrong with it?" she asked standing up and walking over to him. She didn't bother to turn down the music. She liked the song too much to miss parts of it just to talk to him.
Intoxicated with the madness
I'm in love with my sadness
Bullshit fakers, enchanted kingdoms
The fashion victims chew their charcoal teeth
I never let on, that I was on a sinking ship
I never let on that I was down
You blame yourself, for what you can't ignore
You blame yourself for wanting more
Akira continued to scrunch his face up with a distasteful look, "Don't you find it a little to heavy?" when she gave him a confused look he continued. "It gives off a depressing aura, how can you stand to listen to that? This isn't music!"
She's the one for me
She's all I really need
She's the one for me
She's my one and only
"Of course it's music!" Sakura exclaimed outraged. "Depressing songs of sadness are what the Smashing Pumpkins are all about! They wouldn't be the Smashing Pumpkins without their depressing lyrics!" she continued to babble on. "And I admit that I would call it too heavy if it weren't for the amazing lyrics. Music isn't just about the tune Akira, to appreciate music you have to listen to the lyrics to. Of course in those shitty rap songs you don't have to. I mean what's with kids these days? How can they listen to that stuff? It's not music! It's crap! Shouldn't they get the hint that rap rhymes with crap so that obviously means it sucks!"
Akira put his hand on her shoulder and said calmly, "Honey, you gotta calm down, we don't have kids so we don't have to worry about them listen to that uhm 'crap'" he said trying to calm her down after her rant.
Sakura took a deep breath, "You're right, but when I do get pregnant…if I ever do 'cause you know those things they showed me in high school about giving birth and everything really turned me off wanting to have a baby…it looks like it really hurts! I would start that kid off right by making it listen to all my music so it could have good taste! I mean birthing defects like learning disabilities and stuff are things a mother can deal with and love but bad taste in music would make me ashamed to call them my kid!"
"Sakura, remember to breath please," Akira pleaded. She smiled sheepishly at him realizing she had started ranting.
"Sorry…" she quietly murmured to him. "But back to the song, Zero is a classic Smashing Pumpkins song! How can you ever say it's too depressing? What? Did you think I would ever listen to the Amy Lee version? Please she completely butchered the song!"
Akira gave her a blank look at the mention of Amy Lee, "Amy Lee? Version?"
Sakura gave an exasperated sigh, "Why do I even try to act like you understand?" and she walked out of the room letting her Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness CD by the Smashing Pumpkins continue to play for Akira while he wondered what she was talking about.
Sakura sat on her bed staring at her ceiling. She thought about everything that had happened downstairs. From him commenting about the Pumpkins, to the talk of children, to how he didn't know who Amy Lee was.
She sat there wondering why she couldn't picture herself having kids with Akira. Ever since high school she had always pictured her first child with Syaoran. But that didn't make sense because she was married to Akira, so she should be having his child, but she had kissed Syaoran while she's been married to him, she even had a dream she was kissing him!
Then she remembered when he didn't know who Amy Lee was. How could he not know who the lead singer to Evanescence was? She couldn't stop herself before she grumbled to the ceiling of the room before rolling over to use the phone.
"Syaoran would have known who I was talking about…"
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Syaoran was working at the restaurant again that night. He couldn't wait until ten because that was the time his shift ended. He hated being a waiter; he hated earning his money by retrieving food for people that were too lazy to cook for themselves. A tip to all the guys out there on dates WOMAN LIKE MEN WHO CAN COOK SO LEARN! He yelled inside his head. He could get fired if he actually said that to a customer. As much as he hated to admit it, he did actually need this job. That was why he always went to those dinner parties held by those rich snobs, he got paid extra for that. Although it did actually pay off because he did get to see Sakura again
He walked up to a table and took their order and brought it to the kitchen so the chef could make the order. He was so damn bored! Why was work so boring? Why, why didn't he do well in high school? Than he wouldn't be here! Sakura had always told him he could do better than what he was doing but he had just ignored her, he could have cared less about high school back then, now he regretted ever caring less about it now that he realized he was probably going to spend the rest of his life serving jerks. Of course he thought everyone was a jerk these days, especially a certain someone he had dubbed the nickname Richie.
He sat down at an empty table near the kitchen and pulled out the book he had been keeping in his back pocket. He had decided to try reading the book Once a Thief by Kay Hooper. It seemed pretty good; it was pretty thick so he had been wondering how he had been able to fit it into his back pocket. "I guess I'm just talented," he had decided after some thought and stopped thinking about it from there.
He had been reading for about five minutes before the maitre d, Arisa, came over. She was a couple years younger than himself but he figured she could go somewhere in life, he was too proud to go back to school, he had hated high school and didn't plan to go back, he wouldn't even consider doing it over the computer, he would not let "The Man" win. He had named his high school principal The Man. Mostly because he had always been on his back all through high school and had wanted him to take year twelve over again. In his mind, doing anything that would get him a high school diploma would mean he would win and he wasn't going to let that happen.
Arisa walked angrily over to him, all maitre d's seemed to walk angrily over to him, he supposed it was because he would rather read a book than serve tables but he wasn't really one to care what others thought about him.
"Syaoran!" she exclaimed when she walked over to him.
"What?" he said in a monotone as he continued to try and read his book. "And while you answer, do you think you could spare me my ear drums?"
"There's a table waiting for you to serve!" she ignored his comment. "Get off your ass and serve them already!"
"Okay," Syaoran said again in his monotone voice. He continued to sit there reading while Arisa turned around to walk away. When she realized he wasn't following she sighed annoyed.
"Aren't you going to serve the table?" she asked with her hands on her hips.
"Once I finish this page," he responded.
"Urg! Honestly I don't understand why you haven't been fired yet."
"Hmm, neither do I," Syaoran shrugged.
"Are you done the page yet?" Arisa asked now crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her fingers anxiously on her arms. It was a habit she did when she was getting annoyed. It happened often when she had to work with Syaoran.
"I had to start the next page," he stated simply.
"What! Why?" she yelled at him.
"It didn't end in a period."
"So!"
"You can't leave a book in the middle of sentence, it's unheard of," he gave a fake shocked look in her direction. "When you come back you're all confused because what you're reading doesn't make sense because you forget what you read before and it was an important part of the sentence. All parts of sentences are important you know."
"Why don't you just look back later if you don't understand? That would make things a lot easier and than we wouldn't have this conversation at all!" Arisa exclaimed stating the obvious solution.
Syaoran sighed tiredly and continued reading the page simply saying, "I don't do things that way."
"You are impossible!" Arisa screamed.
"Really? Learn something new everyday," Syaoran said sarcastically and marked his page and closed the book. He stood up and slipped the book into his back pocket.
"You're ready to work?" Arisa asked surprised to see him standing.
"How else am I going to make my money?" he asked raising an eyebrow at her. She just shrugged as an answer and he sighed before he got her to tell him which table to serve. "I'll go serve the stupid jerks. After you my dear." He gestured to the tables for Arisa to lead him to the table he had to serve.
She blushed at the comment. Even though he could be a total pain with never wanting to do his job and everything, she had to admit, he was pretty hot, and when he did gestures like that she thought he looked cute, but she could never see herself in a relationship with him, something told her he would be too much for her. Plus he didn't show any interest in her at all. He treated all the people here the same and she meant what she said, she couldn't understand why he hadn't been fired yet.
When ten o'clock hit Syaoran resisted the urge to celebrate. At quitting time he always had the urge to do the happy dance. He really hated working, why did the world have to revolve around money? Money was everything. There was no such thing as free in the world. Everything costs something. Food costs money, his apartment costs money, bills were paid with money, possessions needed money to be bought, even the clothes on his back had cost him money.
"If I didn't need money so bad I would so quit that job right now…" he mumbled while walking down the street to his apartment that wasn't too far from his work place. Eriol would be there right now. They worked in the same restaurant but had different shifts and rarely worked together. Eriol would be working tomorrow afternoon and he would have the day off! Now he really wanted to do that happy dance…
When he got to the apartment and walked in he was greeted with a welcome home from Eriol who was wasting his time watching Cheers reruns on DVD. Something happened on the show and he burst into laughter.
"Man you so gotta sit down and watch these with me!" he exclaimed smiling at him.
Syaoran rolled his eyes in response and answered dryly, "Eriol, man you watch those things like every night how can you still find them funny when you know them for like word for word?"
"Syaoran my man Cheers is classic comedy," he lifted his index finger up for effect. "It's comedy that never stops being funny no matter how many times you watch it."
"Whatever just don't go on about how Frasier may be a spin-off but no where near as perfect," Eriol was always the kind of guy who took his classic shows and movies seriously. Hell his favorite movie was Breakfast at Tiffany's!
"I can't help it man! Cheers is the perfect TV sitcom. It's got something for everyone and you can always find it funny no matter how many times you've seen it!"
"Yeah, yeah whatever you say," Syaoran sighed as he sat down next to him on the couch while throwing his book in his back pocket onto the coffee table that was covered in TV guides…mostly for Eriol to know when all the classic movies and shows were going to be on. He had decided to start a TV guide collection. Normally Syaoran would have mocked him about it but he was one to talk because at one point he had collected sugar packets from restaurants (A/N I actually collected them at one point…until my mom found them all threw them out…). "What episode is it?"
"The one where she meets Frasier's mom," Eriol pointed to the girl on the screen.
"Oh I see," he nodded his head. "Man you need to get a life and get a better taste in movies."
"I'm sorry Syaoran but not everyone's favorite movie is Rebel Without a Cause," Eriol replied.
"Hey that movie is classic James Dean!" Syaoran exclaimed with mock outrage.
"Breakfast at Tiffany's is classic Audrey Hepburn," Eriol shot back.
"Yeah whatever," Syaoran got up from the couch and started to head for his room when Eriol yelled over to him.
"Some chick called for you!"
"Did she say who she was?" Syaoran asked curious to who had called him.
"Uhm she said her name was Sakura," Eriol responded. "Hey isn't that the same first name as Mrs. Saiko? The woman at those dinner parties you were always staring at?"
"I wasn't staring at her the whole time!"
"Most of the time."
"Whatever I'm going to go call her back," Syaoran rolled his eyes.
"You sure seem to like the word whatever tonight," Eriol teased before he started laughing at the TV again.
Syaoran ignored him while he walked into his room and dialed a number he had made himself memorize. He waited until he heard her pick up.
"Hello?" he heard on the other end.
"You called?" he asked getting straight to the point.
"Syaoran? Is that you?" she asked.
"Yeah it's me, so you called me earlier?" he asked again.
"Yeah, I did…" she said quietly.
"Well, what did you call for?"
"I was talking with my husband earlier," she said.
"Why do I need to hear about you talking with Richie?" Syaoran asked trying to keep his anger from showing at the mention of him.
"I was listening to the Smashing Pumpkins," she continued.
"Great band. Depressing but awesome guitar rifts," he told her his opinion of the band. "Excellent choice for the day."
"He doesn't like them," she responded.
"Idiot," Syaoran commented.
"He didn't know who Amy Lee is," she continued.
"You serious?" he asked.
"He thinks The Clash are garbage."
"That's going to far," was all he could say.
"He tells me to turn it off when I play the Guns of Brixton."
"How can you stand being in the same room as someone who doesn't like The Clash?" he asked.
"It's hard," she responded.
"Could you ever even like someone who doesn't like The Clash?"
"Never," she answered without even thinking about it first.
Syaoran smirked at this, "Than why did you marry him?"
"I didn't know his taste in music sucked so much," was the reply he received.
"Well you know; not many people are gifted with my great taste."
"I realize that," she said.
"Oh so you agree that I have some of the best taste in music around?" Syaoran smirked even though she couldn't see him.
"Next to me of course," he could picture her smirking right back at him.
"Fair enough," he sighed. "So why did you call?"
"You called me."
"No I called you because you called me while I was at work so really it was you that called."
"Because I needed to talk to someone who knew who Amy Lee is," she said.
"Now don't I feel special."
"You should. You were the first person I thought of when it happened."
"Now I really feel special."
"I have a talent for making people feel special."
"Yes you do."
"Well, I got to go, I guess I'll talk to you some other time okay?" she said after a pause.
"Wait," he listened to see if she was still on the phone when he continued. "I'm off work tomorrow, will you meet me at the park again? Say around twelve?"
"Okay, goodnight Syaoran," she said before she hung up.
He placed the phone back on its cradle and laid back on his bed before he whispered to the empty room, "You never gave me the chance to say goodnight."
TBC
A/N and there you have the seventh chapter! I hope you all liked this one, my personal favorite so far was the last chapter so if all you others think the same I hope this one met your standards. I'm so happy that people seem to like this one because I think it's my best story so far. Anyways remember to read and review I have no ego so reviews that compliment me are greatly appreciated! Ciao!
