A/N

To marajade963, we're glad you're enjoying this parody so much. Believe us when we say we're having just as much fun writing this!

To PoisonRogue, well, we updated soon..ish, lol! Hopefully we'll be able to write the next chapter more quickly.

To Rogue238, thank you ever so much! Yours were the first parodies we ever read, and in truth, they were partly what inspired us to write ours! Keep up the work on Mutants of the Caribbean, we're loving that one, too, since it's one of our fav movies.

To Rogue181, we're glad you're enjoying it, too!

And to all of you, we honestly didn't intend for there to be a wet Remy until we realised it was in the script…although it did work out nicely, didn't it? Tea gives an almost audible roll of eyes

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The next morning, Tea and Kaya 'ported back onto the set, only a little later than usual.

"Ya didn't go on another film tour, did ya?" Remy asked teasingly as he strolled onto set, shuffling his pack of cards.

Tea glared at him for the unhelpful comment.

"No, it's not that," Kaya said as she plopped down into her chair. "I just wouldn't wake up. Or rather, I kept going back to sleep."

"Aw, sweet dreams, chere?"

"No," Kaya replied, giving glares of her own. "I'm ill, and my body keeps insisting that I fall asleep."

"LIGHTS! CAMERA! AND ACTION!" Tea shouted as it looked like Remy was going to start fawning over her sister, and Kaya wasn't in the mood to try and stop him.

"Make way for the lady!" a random actor shouted.

"Where did he come from?" Kaya asked absently.

"I find them on ebay all the time," Tea answered.

Kaya gave her a look of utter befuddlement. "What?"

"I hopped dimensions to a place where you can buy actors on ebay."

"Ah-ha, right. Just how many dimensions has ebay now taken over?"

"Quite a few. Most of them, in fact, and this one's well on it's way," Tea explained.

"Ah, I see. Well, that explains a lot," Kaya said, nodding. "Okay, back to the play."

"Come on, move it!" another random actor shouted.

Rogue ran across the courtyard, dressed in her lovely costume from the day before. Of course, she wasn't all that happy about it, but no one had said anything yet, which made her feel slightly better about it. As she came to the gates of the palace grounds, she slowed to a walk, and strolled in through the gates as though she might one day own the place.

"Lord, give me strength," Rogue muttered, both for the sake of the script, and because she now had to remember all her complex lines that no one was really sure they understood. With that, she saw the cart carrying Mau- err, Bobby, along with other poor souls bound for the Americas.

"Come on, come on!" Freddy roared, lashing the horse in an attempt to get it to move faster.

Rogue stepped up to the horses, taking the reins and making them stop, causing Freddy to glare at her rather severely.

"Ah wish to address the issue of this gentleman," she said, motioning to Bobby. "He is my servant and Ah am here to pay the debt against him."

"You're too late, he's paid for," Freddy growled.

"Ah can pay you ten gold francs," Rogue offered, holding up the purse containing the money.

"You can have me for ten gold francs," Freddy replied, lashing his horse again. "Drive on!"

"Ah demand you release him at once or Ah shall take this matter to the King," Rogue insisted as she stopped the horse again.

"The King is the one that sold him. He's now the property of Cartier," Freddy replied harshly.

"He is not property at all, ya ill-mannered tub of guts," Rogue said, glad to finally get some lines that she felt like saying. "Do ya honestly think it right to chain people like cattle? Ah demand ya release him at once!"

"Get out of my way!" Freddy roared as he lost his patience.

"You dare raise your voice to a lady, sir?" Remy asked from behind, startling Freddy.

Rogue lowered her eyes as she turned to meet him, feigning hope that the prince wouldn't recognise her from earlier. "Your Highness..."

"F-Forgive me, Sire," Freddy stammered. "I meant no disrespect. It's just er...I'm following orders. It's my job to take these thieves to the coast."

"A servant is not a thief, Your Highness," Rogue ventured. "And those who are cannot help themselves."

"Really?" Remy asked, intrigued. This bit of the script sure should be interesting for him to hear. "Well, then, by all means enlighten us."

"If ya suffer your people to be ill-educated and their manners corrupted from infancy," Rogue began uncertainly, "Then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them what else is to be concluded, Sire but that ya first make thieves and then punish them?"

"What did she just say?" Freddy asked from where he sat.

"She said that it's the crown's fault that there are thieves in the first place, so the people should not be punished for their circumstances," Kaya explained.

"Oh," Freddy said, seemingly content with the answer. "How can it be the fault of a crown?"

"Not a crown, you fool!" Tea shouted through the bullhorn. "The crown! It means the royal monarch."

"Tea, dear, don't shout, my head's fuzzy enough as it is," Kaya said, rubbing her head.

"You should try having enhanced hearin', Flouncy," Logan growled. "Are ya sure ya can't get that thing away from her?"

"No, I don't feel like starting an argument," Kaya replied absently, making Logan continue to mutter to himself.

"Well, there you have it," Remy said as he got back to the script. "Release him."

"But, Sire-" Freddy protested

"I said release him!" Remy said impatiently.

"Yes, Sire," Freddy said as he got down to go and open the door. Bobby smiled as he clambered out, glad to have been spared.

"I thought I was looking at your mother," a much-aged Iceman said in his best old-person's voice.

"I never dressed like that!" Mystique shouted from behind the set.

"Not you!" Bobby shouted back before the directors could interrupt again.

"Meet me at the bridge," Rogue told Bobby quietly, then, more loudly for the sake of keeping up the act, "Prepare the horses! We will leave at once!"

"Ah thank you, Your Highness," Rogue said to Remy after Bobby had gone.

"Have we met?" Remy asked.

"Ah do not believe so, Your Highness," Rogue lied quickly.

"Ah could have sworn Ah knew every courtier in the province," Remy said, puzzled.

"Well... Ah'm visiting a cousin," she lied again.

"Who?" Remy pressed.

"My cousin," Rogue answered awkwardly.

"Yes, you said that," Remy replied with a slight smile. "Which one?"

"The only one Ah have, Sire," Rogue replied, figuring the avoidance tactic was still the best.

"Are you coy on purpose or do you honestly refuse to tell me your name?"

"No!" she answered "And yes."

"Then, pray, tell me your cousin's name so Ah might call upon her to learn who ya are," Remy insisted, not having to act much to be intrigued. "Anyone who can quote Thomas Moore is well worth the effort."

"The Prince has read Utopia?" Rogue asked hopefully.

"Ah found it sentimental and dull," Remy said flatly. "Ah confess, the plight of the everyday rustic bores me."

"Ah gather you do not converse with many peasants," Rogue said, rather disdainfully.

"Certainly not, no! Naturally," Remy said laughing.

"Excuse me, Sire, but there is nothing natural about it," Rogue said harshly. "A country's character is defined by its everyday rustics, as you call them. They are the legs you stand on. That position demands respect, not-"

"Am Ah to understand, chere, that ya find me arrogant?" Remy asked incredulously.

What Rogue really wanted to shout back at this point was 'Yes!', but she decided it would be better if she stuck to the script. "Well, you gave one man back his life, but did you even glance at the others?"

"Please, Ah beg of you a name. Any name," Remy said, quite astounded.

"Ah fear that the only name to leave you with is Comtesse Marie de Lancret," Rogue said quietly.

"There now," Remy said, glad to have an answer at last. "That wasn't so hard."

"Oh, Remy!" Ororo called from off screen, making Remy turn towards her. "You're back," she greeted, walking up to her 'son'. Remy smiled in return, then turned back around to look for the Lady he had just been speaking to. But to his surprise, she was no-where to be seen, as though she had simply vanished into thin air like a sprite or spirit.

"Hello, Mother," Remy said flatly, and with much less enthusiasm than Ororo seemed to have.

"The King would like a word with you. Several, in fact," Ororo announced, finding it rather amusing that Logan was a king and that Remy, of all people, was his son.

"He usually does," Remy replied humourlessly. "Ah shall be right in."

A few minutes later, Ororo and Logan were sat in one of the audience room sets, when Remy came in, clearly having wandered around at his leisure for a while before arriving, if only to annoy Logan.

"You, bub, are restricted to the grounds," Logan said gruffly as he saw his 'son' wander in.

"Am Ah under house arrest?" Remy asked casually, paying no heed to the dangerous tone in Logan's voice.

"Do not mock me, bub, for I am in a foul disposition," Logan growled in reply. "An' I will have my way."

"Or what?" Remy asked, slightly too cockily. "You'll send me to the Americas ike some criminal? All for the sake of your stupid contract."

"You are the Crown Prince of France," Logan reminded.

"And it is my life," he replied tersely.

"Logan, sit down before you have a stroke," Ororo interrupted, not actually wanting a full scale fight as Logan turned his glare towards her. "Really, the two of you! Sweetheart," Ororo said, addressing Remy. The thought of anyone calling Remy 'sweetheart' was enough to make Logan laugh though, and he was joined by Scott and Jean, too. "You were born to privilege, and with that comes specific obligations," Ororo said, a little louder as she tried to ignore the outbursts.

"Forgive me, Mother, but marriage to a stranger never made anyone in this room very happy," Remy said matter-of-factly.

"Marry Wanda by the next full moon, bub, or I will strike at you in any way I can," Logan said fiercely.

"What's it to be, Father? Hot oil or the rack?"

"I will simply deny you the crown..." Logan said, clearly trying to think of something better to say than what the lines dictated, but failing just as his character had. "And…live for ever!" Well, for all he knew, he might well live forever. The fact that he was older than Charles gave him the creeps on occasion.

"Good," Remy said, which was clearly not the response Logan had wanted. "Agreed. Ah don't want it."

With that, he turned on his heel and walked out of the room, with nothing more to say, leaving a rather annoyed looking Logan in his wake. Logan looked from Ororo to Remy's hastily retreating back and then to Ororo again, at a complete loss of what to do.

"He's your son!" Logan blurted out finally to Ororo, wishing he could get rid of the swamp rat that easily in real life. Ororo, for her part, rolled her eyes and then walked out too, leaving Logan alone on set.

"CUT!" Tea shouted through the bullhorn.

"Well done everyone!" Kaya called out as enthusiastically as she could with how tired she was feeling from being so ill. "Can we go home now?" she asked Tea.

"Oh no ya don't!" Remy said as he appeared behind the director's chairs, making Kaya jump out of her skin. "Now, what was that ya said a couple of days ago 'bout bein' from another dimension?"

You told him? Kaya asked incredulously through her telepathy.

No, you did, remember? Tea replied with her usual flat tone.

"Oh yeah…" Kaya said out loud to both of them, giving a kind of nervous giggle. "Yeah…" was all she could say.

"So, what dimension are ya from?" Remy asked, half-patiently.

"The one where everything's the same but a little bit different?" Kaya replied, trying the same avoidance tactics Danielle's character had tried a few minutes before, and adopting more or less the same voice, too.

"Nice try, chere," Remy said as he sat down in one of the random chairs, now paraphrasing his own lines. "Which one?"

"One that ebay hasn't taken over yet," Tea supplied.

"Wait, Flouncy and Slouchy here are from another dimension?" Logan asked, arriving with pretty much everyone else.

"Slouchy?" Tea asked.

"Yeah, you got yourself a nickname, too," Logan replied.

"God help me," Tea said, slapping her forehead with her palm. "I'm never gonna live this one down."

"Good at keeping things quiet, aren't ya, Logan?" Kaya said, more than a little annoyed and uncomfortable.

"Vait, you can 'port through dimensions, too?" Kurt asked Tea, who gave a proud nod. "Man, I need to do some catching up."

"Amazing," Charles said quietly, apparently happy to now that there are many more dimensions.

"Yeah, ain't it just?" Kaya asked nervously. "Can we go yet?"

"No," the entire cast and crew replied in unison.

"What dimension are you from?" Hank asked, just as intrigued as Charles.

"I don't know," Tea said. "What is it called?" she asked Kaya.

"We never gave it a name," Kaya replied. "It was just 'our dimension'. No one else seems to be able to get in or out of it, at least not that we know, so there was no need to name it."

"Well, what's different there?" Hank asked patiently.

"Umm, well, nearly all of the parodies there are about Scott and Jean, rather than Rogue and Remy," Kaya answered.

"That sounds like a good idea," Jean put in, with both Scott and Rogue nodding their agreement.

"It's scary," Tea said, and Remy nodded his agreement with her.

"Anythin' else different?" Remy asked.

"Lots of things," Kaya said, still trying with the avoidance tactics. When she saw that wasn't going to work, she tried to think of another example that wouldn't destroy the time-space-dimension-continuum-thing as they all knew it. "Like…Magneto's leading our version of Xavier's Institute," Kaya finally answered, then took Tea's hand as she finally 'ported them out.

"Man, their world is twisted," Evan said as everyone began to disperse from the set.

The only people who were left after a few minutes were Xavier and Magneto, who were still staring at each other in disbelief, both trying to figure out exactly what could have happened to Tea and Kaya's messed up dimension.