A/N Sorry this took so long - it's been a hectic couple of weeks! But here it is, in all it's Romy glory! Enjoy!

The next morning, Kaya and Tea 'ported back onto the set, looking forward to nice a peaceful shoot. However they quickly realised this wasn't going to be possible when Rogue stormed up to them.

"Ah've got a bone ta pick with ya!" Rogue said, scowling angrily.

"I think she means you," Tea said hopefully.

"Damn right Ah do," Rogue said, glaring at Kaya.

"What did I do now?" Kaya asked innocently. "Remy didn't follow us home again, and we went through that last time, anyway."

"That's what Ah wanted to talk to ya about," Rogue said, tapping her foot impatiently. "Remy an' me do not make a 'cute couple'!"

"Sure we do, chere," Remy said as he meandered onto the set.

"We're not even a couple! An' even if we were, we'd be anythin' but cute. Kitty and Piotr, they're cute," at this, Kitty and Piotr gazed lovingly at one another then nodded happily. "Tea an' Pyro are just about cute," Rogue continued and at this, Tea nodded proudly. "Heck, Ah'll even go so far as to say Jean and Scott….no, wait…let's not go there…But the point is, me an' Remy, we're not cute."

"Okay, let's take it to a vote," Kaya said, looking out over the assembled cast. "Raise your hand if you think Rogue and Remy are cute together!" Everyone except Logan and Magneto raised their hands. John was already holding up one of his, but Tea raised the other one for him as well. Even Remy voted for himself. Jean and Scott were sniggering.

"Not all of ya!" Rogue said helplessly. She sighed, then threw her hands up in the air before retreating to her dressing room, muttering and cursing under her breath all the way.

Finally, the entire cast were dressed and ready for shooting to begin.

"My turn," Tea said happily, 'porting her bullhorn out from nowhere. "Lights, camera…ACTION!"

"Tabitha," Raven called out in her high-pitched summoning voice. Tabitha looked up from setting the table, knowing that the only reason Raven would be speaking with her was if she wanted to complain. "Where are the candlesticks?" Raven asked in her haughtiest voice. "We can hardly see our plates."

"They're missing, my lady," Tabby replied through gritted teeth, still hating to call 'Mystic' her 'Lady'. "I've searched high and low."

"The painting in the hall is gone too," Amara said quietly.

"It seems we have a thief in our midst," Raven said, using that same maddeningly haughty voice. "So this is how I'm treated," she complained, pretending to be hurt. "After all our years together. My husband's prize possessions! Well, I shall just garnish your wages until the pilfered items are returned. Is that quite understood?"

"Yes, ma'am," Tabby and Amara said in unison as they gave little curtseys before they left.

"Perhaps I shall ship you to the Americas with all the other thieves," Raven called as they left.

"Oh. Didn't you like, so totally hear?" Kitty asked, then paused for a moment before continuing. "The Prince asked the King to release all those men."

"He didn't!" Rogue exclaimed, moving a little from where she had silently stood. Jean and Raven both glared at Kitty for speaking with Rogue at the dinner table.

"Mmm," Kitty said quietly, getting around the issue of not addressing servants as friends by speaking to no one in particular. "Now, like, by royal decree, any man who sails must be totally compensated."

"Compensated!" Raven snorted indignantly. "Honestly! What is the world coming to?"

"I want to know who this Comtesse is everyone keeps talking about," Jean said, changing the subject back to her problems. "Ten courtiers were speaking of her today and how the Prince fell all over himself!"

"We should find out who she is and bury her," Raven said spitefully.

The scene cuts to the next day, in the palace grounds where Remy is playing tennis against Scott, who had been newly cast as the Marquis de Limoges. The two were really going at it, as though there were some unspoken fight between them, and as though they were hitting each other with the rackets rather than just the ball. The battle raged on, allowing all of the X-girls plenty of time to admire them. Kaya also took this time to admire the guys, while Tea was only looking at Pyro, who was making little fire-shapes for her while Kaya wasn't looking and threatening to steal his lighter.

Finally, Scott's hit went out, and the ball bounced off towards the crowd of happily crooning x-girls. Remy, determined to hit it back, ran backwards, eyes set on the ball when he tripped over the low wall, falling into the ever-crazier crowd. It was a fight, but finally he managed to disentangle himself from the net and the women, and he stood up, brushing off the dust. Both he and Scott scanned the court for the missing ball, when Scott pointed to a point just behind Remy. Remy turned to see Jean triumphantly holding up the tennis ball, a positively evil glint set in her eye.

Remy smiled at Jean, although it was obviously a forced one. He took the ball from her, forcing another smile as he did so.

"You're looking well, Jean," he said, lying through his teeth.

"You're welcome to look, Your Highness," Jean returned, also through her teeth.

"And cut!" Kaya said, finally releasing Scott from the telekinetic hold she'd had on him to stop him from charging over and hitting Remy hard on the head with his racket. "That was good, but Jean, could you please try to act like you actually want to be flirting with Remy?"

"That's gonna be hard," she muttered.

"That's why it's called 'acting'," Kaya pointed out. She looked at the four of them, Scott glaring at Remy for flirting with Jean, and Rogue glaring at Remy for flirting or even speaking to Jean. "And I think it's a term you all need to learn…" she muttered quietly.

The scene cuts to a bustling market place, and the camera finally comes to rest on a small stall run by Tabby, Amara and Rogue. As they work though, an unfortunately familiar voice comes to them from the crowd.

"Anna de Barbarac," Pietro sneered. "You-get-prettier-every-week."

"And you, Monsieur le Pie, are wasting your flattery," Rogue replied, flatly and deliberately very slowly.

"It's-a-pity-your-soil's-the-best-in-the-province...and-yet-so-poorly-tended," Pietro sneered again, darting around quickly.

"Pietro!" Kaya yelled out. "Please try to stand still, and read your lines at a rate we can all understand! Or I'll set Wanda on you!" Pietro glanced at his sister, who had that oh-so-evil-and-maniacal look all over her face.

"We have limited resources, sir," Tabby said, getting back to the play. "We do the best we can."

"Anything I can do?" Pietro asked, although it was obvious he had anything but helping on his mind.

"You should bring it up with the Baroness and stick to shopping," Amara said.

"I'd rather discuss it with Anna, if you don't mind," Pietro said spitefully to Amara, before turning his attention back to Rogue. "I may look twice as good as you, but I'm well-endowed, as evidenced by my estate."

"Pietro, do NOT change your lines!" Kaya called out angrily.

"I've always had a soft spot for the less fortunate," Pietro said as he rolled his eyes at the bossy director. "You need a wealthy benefactor. And I need a young lady with spirit."

"How about a girl that can knock ya out?" Rogue answered between clenched teeth, but before either Kaya or Tea could shout, she moved on with her proper lines. "Prunes?" she asked, offering him up a basket with a spiteful smile.

"No," he sneered. "I'll buy nothing this week. And you'd do well to remember that without my generosity, your pathetic little farm would cease to exist. So I'd be very, very careful if I were you," he finished, then slowly turned on his heel before walking away.

"Ooh! Horrible man!" Tabby said as he left. "If he didn't buy a bushel of vegetables every week...I'd spit on him!"

Both Amara and Rogue looked at Tabby. Evidently, with all the thought that had taken, they had expected her to come up with a better insult.

Across the marketplace, Jean and Remy were walking together, with Kitty and Raven behind, followed by several of the prince's guards.

"Ebay?" Kaya asked as she looked at the newly appeared extras. In reply, Tea simply nodded.

Remy stopped and turned to Jean, offering her a silver plate loaded with small pieces of brown food.

"Here," he said in his thick accent, which he had long ago stopped trying to suppress for these parodies. "Never have ya tasted anytin' so...delicious."

In reply, Jean closed her eyes and opened her mouth, waiting for Remy to give her the food. Remy looked put off by the idea, and Rogue and Scott were both struggling to go and beat up the offending persons. Jean felt somewhere between happy to have to put Remy through this, but disgusted by the very idea. In the end though, she telekinetically took the food.

"Mmm," she said happily as she chewed on it. Behind her, Kitty stepped forward, wanting to try some, but Raven held her back with an outstretched arm.

"Don't even think about it," Raven said harshly.

"Like it?" 'Prince' Remy asked after a moment.

"Like it?" Jean repeated. "Why, it's positively sinful. What's it called?"

"Er... chocolate," Remy said, handing the plate back to one of his guards as he began to move on again. "De Spanish monks keep sending bricks of it."

Moments later, they came down to the stall that Rogue, Amara and Tabby were running.

"These are our servants, Your Highness," Jean said, indicating towards the stall.

"Really? Oh, Ah'd love to meet them," Remy said as he stopped in front of the stall. Tabby and Amara could do nothing but stare at him in shock, which, of course, only went to his head, and he grinned. "Good day, ladies," he said, a great deal more flirtily than the script had intended.

Rogue looked up, about to yell at him for flirting with them when she realised that he was not supposed to see her. As a quick invention of cover, she threw a live chicken in his face, before scrambling away. It worked, catching Remy off guard, and sending him tumbling backwards.

"What are you doing?" Raven demanded as Remy found his footing again. "Trying to scare the Prince to death?"

"We were startled, that's all," Tabby said in defence.

Remy looked puzzled, pointing first at Amara and then at Tabby. "Were there just the two of you?" he asked.

"And the chicken, Your Highness," Amara said.

"Cut!" Tea yelled happily.

"Okay everyone, time to move set back to the mansion," Kaya said, having it in mind to do the next scene.

"One moment," Rogue said as she stormed across set to Remy, and slapped his hard around the face.

"Ah'm sure Ah didn't deserve that!" Remy said, ever so Captain-Jack-Sparrow-like, rubbing his cheek.

"Yeah, ya did!" Rogue shouted angrily.

Scott stormed up to Remy, too. "What was that!" he asked angrily, obviously still annoyed about the scene between Remy and Jean.

"It's called a script, mon ami," Remy replied, meeting his gaze coolly.

"Scott you really don't have to get so protective," Jean huffed as she stormed up to the group.

"Well what am I supposed to think?" Scott asked, whirling around to face Jean.

"That I was following the damn script!" Jean yelled.

"Ya should probably listen to ya girl," Remy said, then tried to duck out of the fight.

"His girl?" Jean repeated angrily. "I am not something to be possessed!" she yelled, sending a small telekinetic blast Remy's way.

"Oh, no, ya did not!" Rogue yelled at Jean having seen Remy stumble.

"He shouldn't get so cocky," Scott said, right before a glowing card found its way next to his face. Then it exploded.

Well, actually, everything exploded. Suddenly an argument had become a war between the four of them, with things getting thrown and insults being yelled. Everyone just watched in stunned silence until a book thrown by Scott accidentally hit Kitty.

Bad Move. Instantly, Piotr's nice face was gone, and he went into metal mode, before throwing himself into the fray. Boom Boom didn't wait for any reason and simply started throwing mini-bombs into the middle of the fight, before getting dragged into the brawl. Lance, having missed his chance to defend Kitty went after Scott anyway, so the rest of the brotherhood followed him into the fray. Pietro ran around and pushed Wanda in, so she dragged him into the middle of it, too, hexing everyone who happened to be near.

Soon, everyone was involved, save for Charles, Logan, Mystique, Eric, John, Tea and Kaya. Then one of Remy's explosions set a pile of scripts on fire, and John screamed with joy.

"You're their headmaster, for God's sakes!" Kaya called out to Xavier over the noise. "Can't you do anything?"

"I'm a telepath, not a miracle worker," Charles replied as he began to wheel himself away. "And not all lessons can be taught by me."

"Oh yeah, Chuck?" Logan asked as he started towards the fight. "I could teach em!"

Suddenly though, Logan stopped, his eyes wide as he had forgotten what he was about to do. Kaya frowned before noticing that Charles had his hands clasped to his temples, and was placing Logan under mind control for the safety of the universe.

"Oh yeah…." Logan said distantly as he trailed after Charles as they left the set.

"John…come with me," Tea called out as she grabbed Pyro's sleeve.

"Eh what, Sheila?" John asked. "Can't I just stay an' play with the fire? No fighting, I promise?"

"Awww," Tea said, then her face straightened, and her answer was flat. "No." With that, Tea threw an arm around John, held her other hand out to Kaya and 'ported them out.