The Dress Pt 2
Enrique poked his head through the door and into the kitchen, where his mother was busy preparing dinner.
"Psst, mom," he whispered, shifting his gaze around the room. "Carm's not around is she?"
"No, why are we whispering?" Maria replied.
"This," Enrique said, entering the room and showing the dress.
"YOU TORE CARMELITA'S DRESS!" Maria exclaimed.
"See, that would have been something YOU SHOULD HAVE WHISPERED!" Enrique muttered.
Suddenly, Sly entered the kitchen, "Hey guys…" he stopped when he saw Carmelita's torn dress and a surprised and shocked expression radiating from Enrique.
"What the hell?" he asked in a low and threatening voice. "What did you do?"
"His fault," Maria blurted, pointing at her son.
"Mom?" Carmelita yelled from the next room.
Surprised, the three scrambled around looking for an exit strategy, until Enrique shoved the dress into the oven, and then leaned against it, blocking the view through the oven door window. Carmelita came in slightly distraught. "Has anyone seen my dress, it's missing!"
"Um, no, no," Enrique stuttered. He obviously had something to hide.
"Someone took your dress?" Sly asked in shock. He was the most convincing.
"Well you're not gonna find it here, check with Julio, your father, or Eliza, it's not here!" Maria said, shoving Carmelita out the door.
"What the hell was that all about?" Carmelita asked herself as she walked outside, confused.
Enrique opened the oven and pulled out the dress, there were rusted charcoal marks from the grating and an odd stain on it.
"What the hell is this?" Enrique asked, as if the stain was Maria's fault.
Sly bent over and stuck his arm in there, and pulled out a honey-glazed ham, rested it on the counter top, and gave a Enrique a dirty look.
"One day your gonna look back on this and think it's funny," Maria muttered. "Of course you'll still be single 'cause no girl'll want to marry the jackass that ruined his sister's wedding."
"Actually Enrique, Carmelita'll just kill you," Sly stated, his face showing severe annoyance. "Kill ya, then get to work on ya."
Suddenly, Sly's and Maria's expressions changed. Their eyes went wide.
"What?" Enrique asked.
Sly nervously pointed to the dress. "Fire in the hole," he muttered.
Enrique looked down on the dress. He had been holding it over the stove! "Oh shit!" he yelped, dropping the burning dress.
He began stomping out the flames that seemed to eat away at the bottom of the dress, not taking notice as Sly and Maria backed away and seemed to take cover underneath the table. Once the fire was stomped out, he turned to see Carmelita staring at him. She was furious. VERY furious. (I can't even put enough emphasis on the very.) Her gaze was filled with enough malice to potentially cause someone to burst into flame.
"Uh…" Enrique said. "What are you doing with that rolling pin?"
Almost immediately, he dashed out the door into the backyard.
"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Carmelita yelled chasing after her brother. "I'M GONNA CLEAN YOUR CLOCK, THAT'S WHAT!"
Sly and Maria sat stunned underneath the table for the next minute, the kitchen silent with the exception of the distant sounds of Enrique's cries of mercy and the distinct sounds of blunt objects hitting hard objects.
"Should we help him?" Maria asked.
"You kidding?" Sly passed. "I get in the way, Enrique won't be the only guy here who'll his legs tied like a pretzel."
The sounds continued for the next hour or so, the rest of the family eating dinner through it like it was big deal, until finally it was time for bed.
It wasn't until morning did everyone found out what Carmelita did to Enrique. All that was left was his head, or at least it was the only thing sticking out of the mound of dirt next to the shed.
"Carm," Maria said, holding a box. "I know you loved that dress, but I hope you can forgive your common sense impaired brother for ripping, getting honey on it, setting it on fire, and stomping on it. And here."
"Mom, I'll just find a new dress…" she stopped when she opened the box. "Your wedding dress? Mom, I don't know what to say…"
"How about: 'Enrique I'm sorry for whipping you nads with a car antenna, giving you two black eyes, driving the car over your foot, and burying you under five feet of dirt…" Enrique said.
Sly simply kicked Enrique in the head, shutting the fox up.
AN: As some may have noticed, I tend toget some of my humor from tv shows. I know someone has noticed. Anyway, next chapter will be the bachelor party and an AC/DC song cameo.
