Title: Pilot 06: The Only Hope
Author: Grevola
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam wing, and I'm not making any claim on any so-called original characters found here-in either. Those belong to the scariness that fandom can be.
Warnings/Rating: PG (for a bad word). Silly, spoof-ness and unrepentant Sue (I'm sorry, she's not).

The flight suit hugged every perfect curve of the buxom young woman's body, from her long legs to her flat stomach and her exquisitely sculpted bosom. Waves of warm amber hair spilled over her narrow shoulders, now that the band holding her braid had been snapped, and framed her milky white skin, "I'm sorry," he said at length, "can you repeat that?"

"My name is Duet Maxwell," she said, her voice a melodic alto that implied the speaker could perform soaring arias and deeply moving poetry, "Duo Maxwell's twin sister, and pilot 06."

Heero blinked and tried to reach casually for his hidden gun, but she was on him in a moment, pressed up against him and stalling all thought, "Aw, you should play nice you know, or does 'Omae-o korusu' mean 'I love you' like I was taught?" She leaned in closer, and Heero felt his gaze drawn to her unnaturally violet eyes.

The moment was interrupted by a tap on her shoulder that quickly turned in to a hand spinning her around, "Are you Duet Maxwell?"

It was Zechs Marquise, sex god on two legs, with his platinum blond hair streaming behind him, and his own flight suit drawing subtle attention to his royal prerogative. His hand lingered on her shoulder after he had spun her, and now he stared intently into her eyes with his own ice blue orbs. The rivalry between him and Heero was legendary, and one could feel the tension in the room between the two men.

"For you, Zechsy, I could be the next Queen of Sanc," Duet winked at him, taking a step forward.

"So you're the one they're calling the 6th Gundam pilot?"

She nodded, "Ravenmoon is a rather spectacular machine, don't you think? With the beam gun, wings, advanced bird mode and stealth cloak it was merely the best machine around, but now I've added a Gatling gun with a nearly infinite supply of bullets. I'd hate to be caught unprepared."

Zechs listened to her extol the virtues of her Gundam for a few minutes before slapping her hard.

"What was that for?" she asked from the ground, cradling her reddened cheek and biting back tears, "If this is about that time I slept with Treize, you should know that was practically rape, I had to do it for the mission!"

"What! How did you sleep with Treize? He's as queer as three dollar bill. No, that was for taking my parking space. This," and here he pulled out a pair of handcuffs, "is for claiming to be the 6th Gundam pilot. I don't get much credit, bit I did pilot both Wing and Epyon, scary bitch that Gundam was."

She began sobbing as her hands were secured behind her back, "Heero! Save me, please! Heero, you know I'm innocent!"

Heero shrugged, and then offered Zechs some duct tape from his desk drawer, "That's the third one this month," he said as he held her head for gagging, "Though the Treize comment was a new one."

"I just wish I knew how they were getting into headquarters," Zechs replied, "We're going to have to call in some exterminators, it's got to be unsanitary to have so many fangirls running about."

"I heard Dorothy thinks they're cute and feeds them," Heero shuddered, "but my guess is some minor character like Muller is letting them in, hoping for some of the attention."

Heero helped Zechs hoist the flailing young woman onto his shoulder. "I've got it," Zechs said, "I'll take her down to clinic, but I think this one is crazy enough to be put out of her misery."

"One can only hope."

Owari