Chapter 5:
Miss Murphy walked in with a smile, looking pleasantly at the couple. If she noticed Mr. Taylor's confused face and Mrs. Taylor's anxious glares at him, Miss Murphy did not show it.
"You looked rested" she said sweetly and approvingly at Lizzy. "I trust you are comfortable" she said, looking around the room.
"Yes!" said Lizzy with great emotion, "You have been too kind with us. I do not know how I shall ever repay you."
"I have come to see how Mr. Taylor's head is doing" she said, feeling uncomfortable with the praise. She walked towards him, as he was sitting on the bed, staring at the window, holding on to his head with his hand.
"Is your head bothering you?" asked Miss Murphy, looking concerned.
"No" he answered curtly. There was plenty that was bothering him and his anger was continuing to mount—he felt so defenseless. He did not remember anything, not even his name. And now he was married, with an injury he did not know how he had gotten. He closed his eyes, as if keeping the memories that had been reawakened from escaping.
"He has begun to remember" said Lizzy, explaining for Miss Murphy was beginning to look concerned. Lizzy bit her lip nervously, noting that Mr. Darcy looked tense. He could be sweet but she had also seen him angry after their botched proposal. He wanted to talk to her but they could not do so in Miss Murphy's presence.
"Oh" said Miss Murphy, now looking relieved, "The doctor said it would happen with time, he mentioned that some key words usually help as they unlock strong memories, allowing others to flow in time."
"I see" said Lizzy, blushing and feeling rather touched that the word that had unlocked memories was her own name. Could he really love her that much? How long had he loved her for? Lizzy had despised him up until the point that she had dedicated her every breath to save his life and now, she did not know what she felt. Had it only been three days? She had not thought about her family, nor Jane, nor Mr. Bingley, nor Mr. Wickham. And she did not know why, but she was glad that she had not. She was existing in a world where only her, Mr. Darcy, and the unknown abductors existed. Was this world even real? She wondered.
"Are you also remembering?" teased Miss Murphy, seeing Lizzy so deep in thought.
"Yes, actually" she said, "I have not thought of much else these past days, aside from tending to my...husband" she said, her voice in a soft whisper. As she said the word 'husband', Mr. Darcy's face turned towards her, his eyes opening and looking at her, as if it were the first time that he was seeing her. His eyes per piercing her and Lizzy had to look away.
"I am glad he is remembering, however, I urge you not to overwhelm him. It is better if the memories flow in slowly with time" she said in a whisper, directed only at Lizzy. "May I have a word with you outside?"
"Of course" said Lizzy. They both excused themselves but Mr. Darcy paid them no attention, now staring at the window, as if looking for something outside.
"Another man came looking for both of you" she said, knowing by Lizzy6's shocked face that they were indeed in trouble. "There is no need to lie to me, Mrs. Taylor, I know you know they came the night before you left. I do not know how you hid but I am glad you did. A different man came this time, he insisted that I reveal your whereabouts and I pretended to not know. I will not pry nor force your confidence but know that this area in Scotland is not very large. If you are indeed hiding and you are in danger, you must leave as soon as possible. They will find you."
Lizzy nodded, taking it all in. She wanted to thank her, to express her gratitude, to share her fears with someone, but she could not. Instead, she reached for her hand and squeezed it.
"I thank you" she said, a sob in her throat. "We need to go back to England. Before these men find out. Could you help us secure a passage? I think Mr. Taylor should be ready to travel in a a day or two. I do not have money but I shall pay you back. I cannot say more but we...we can pay you once we return home."
"I know" she said, "I recognize the clothes of the gentry—your Mr. Taylor, if that is even his name, must be a very rich man, for his coat alone would cover for the meager amount the doctor pays me per annum."
"Oh" said Lizzy, feeling embarrassed, "I am sorry I kept our identity hidden, I am afraid I cannot tell you our real name, but please do keep our whereabouts concealed. And if you can help us find a way back to England, we shall be out of here as soon as possible."
"You do not need to fear me, Miss" she said, squeezing Lizzy's hand. "I will try to secure you a passage. I shall return tomorrow evening with news. I inquired on the way here and there may we one leaving the day after tomorrow." Miss Murphy wanted to add that she had no means of securing the passage money and she had already spent more than she had.
"I thank you" said Lizzy.
Miss Murphy nodded, curtsied, and left a worried Lizzy by the doorway. How much had transpired in the past hour? She had gone from waking up feeling rested to now succumbing to fear. She needed to sit down or preferably lie down, but now she needed to face Mr. Darcy. How much did he remember? How much should she say? There was only one way to find out.
Mr. Darcy looked up at the sound of a soft knock on the door.
Elizabeth walked in, looking shy and embarrassed, he thought he noticed a hint of concern on her forehead—something was troubling her. He had so many questions, but there was one that was most pressing than all the others.
"Mr. Darcy" said Lizzie softly, approaching him.
"I feel silly asking this" he said, letting out a heavy sigh, "But may you indulge me in providing me with my given name?" He looked so embarrassed, Lizzy's heart broke. Even the way he had phrased the question revealed how embarrassed and most likely frightened he felt.
"Fitzwilliam" she said, his name sounding so loving coming from her mouth. She had never said his name out loud before and there was something so intimate about this that she could not help but blush.
He nodded, in a silent thanks.
"I remember my name" he said, "It feels right. It seems odd to be basing my decisions and thoughts based on how I feel about them, but the doctor said to trust my emotions. I also remember your name, Elizabeth Bennet. There are a lot of trees, sunlight, perhaps a garden?" he said, closing his eyes and remembering, "There is a pair of dark brown eyes that mesmerize me, they must be yours" he said, now opening them and searching her face. "It is all muddled, but I do remember you or at least how I feel about you." Lizzy did not think she could blush any further. She did not know what to say and felt the best approach was to simply let him keep talking.
"Are we really married?" he asked, shocking both him and her, evidently. Lizzy froze and then looked down, before answering.
"Yes" she said. She had not intended to lie but Miss Murphy's words came to mind, she should not overwhelm him. She imagined for a moment if she had revealed the truth and he could not have taken another blow. They had shared a bed for goodness sake! Lizzy blushed, oh she did not know why she did not tell him but perhaps it was easier to fix this mess while feeling that they were a team of sorts.
"Elizabeth" he said now more tenderly, "You have burdened so much." He reached for her face with his thumb, caressing her cheek. Lizzy closed her eyes, preventing the tears from pouring out of her. Mr. Darcy must have sensed it for he stood up and hugged her, wrapping his arms around his wife.
And lost in his embrace Lizzy did the only sensible thing to do, she cried. She did not know how long she allowed him to hold her for. Eventually, Elizabeth excused herself, reluctantly pulling herself away from his arms and went to gather the bandage that Miss Murphy had left.
She insisted Mr. Darcy sit back down as she examined his forehead and changed the bandage. She soaked the bandage in warm water, added some crushed leaves and wrapped it around his head, feeling his soft gaze upon her.
Lizzy tried to keep her eyes on his head. It was healing and his memory was returning. They would leave soon. These were the only thoughts that Lizzy allowed in her mind to entertain.
There was more that they needed to talk about and they would, but they both needed sleep and so Lizzy went into the corner, and Mr. Darcy looked away, as she washed up for bed. They had already fallen into a routine of sorts, thought Lizzy with a smile.
Elizabeth went into the bed quickly, covering herself with the blanket.
"May I open my eyes now?" he said, his voice teasing and light.
"You may" said Lizzy, blushing. They were to share a bed again. He thought they were married. Would he try to touch her? He was not feeling well enough, right? This was too much, simply too much. She needed to tell him the truth, why did she not when he had asked? It would have been so easy, and now, now it was too hard. She would tell him when they were in Derbyshire,when they were safe, she promised herself. The truth is, she comforted herself, it would be easier to continue as a married couple. He would be more worried about her reputation and they would not be able to continue this ruse. Yes, it was the best decision, she told herself.
Lizzy turned to face away from the bed, hating herself for lying and brought the covers to her neck, closing her eyes, begging for sleep to overtake her. Mr. Darcy got into the bed slowly, turning off the small lantern that was lit before lying down. He seemed to be looking at her, before placing a hand on her shoulder, lighting caressing her arm.
"I believe I love you, Elizabeth" he said in a whisper, thinking she was asleep. Lizzy felt her heart stop beating—when did he become so sweet? He waited for a response but heard nothing and so he turned the other way, and within minutes fell asleep.
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