Reality VS Halo – Return of the Spork… For the Second Time!

"Oh, Shit…" thought the Master Chief as the elite in gold armor charged towards him, "In these situations, it's best to do an inventory check… what do I have? I have a plasma pistol, a M6D, and the energy-shield coated, gundaminium plated, aldurium re-enforced Spork. THAT'S IT!" Being a Spartan and all, he whipped out the holy eating utensil and held it above his head. It contacted with the blade of plasma, holding it there, not budging. Chief then took out his captured plasma pistol and shot an overcharge into the elite, taking down its shield. The sheer force made it flinch and stumble backwards. The final strike was the Spork jammed right between the elite's eyes. Another field commander down, around 100,000,000 to go, but that wasn't his mission right now.

"I could have helped you, you know." Said Cortana crossly.

"Nigga, please!" The Chief replied in an extremely unorthodox manner. The comment alone might stun several readers because of the extreme out of character way that the Chief is behaving. So, Cortana was utterly in shock and won't be talking for a while. W00T! Oh, and by the way, they passed through the door on the other side.

Back on the bridge…

Ef-you I-Cant-See had finished his excruciatingly long masterba… I mean meditation and was ready for anything. He howled a long warrior cry and sprinted up the ramps to the top of the bridge. The ground was littered with cool-coloured blood, covenant dead bodies, and plasma based weapons. It seems like the demon had already been here. "RAWR!" "SHIT!" It's time to go hunting again. I-Cant-See gathered up all the weapons into one big pile, as well as the body of the gold elite. He quickly switched his armour with that of the gold elite and painted it red. He liked red. That's why he is a red elite. As for the paint, he always keeps a spare can in his pocket just in case something significant needs to be 'red-ified'. He then dual wielded two plasma rifles as his primary weapon, and a needler and a plasma pistol as his second. He also stocked up on grenades, carrying twice what the game developers allowed him to carry. "Rawr Rawr RAWRRRRRR! WORT WORT WORT" "Today is a good day to DIE you smooth headed demon! WORT WORT WORT" He followed the path of destruction, knowing that it would lead him to the one that killed his comrades.

Meanwhile… I'm thinking of a new transition phrase.

In the slaughterhouse (the room after the door), the great Spartan was enjoying his favourite activity: grunt launching! However, there is unfortunately a ceiling in this room so the cannon fodder can only fly so high. Unknown to him, an invisible elite was trying desperately to melee him in the back, but the Chief kept moving, so he walked to the front of the chief, right as he was about to through a plasma grenade. One moment, the elite was looking directly at the chief's visor, the next he could only see blue. "Rawr?" "WTF?"

"Hmm… Plasma grenades aren't supposed to float in mid-air." The chief wondered out loud, "Maybe I'm supposed to back away because it looks like it could explode any second now."

BOOB!

The chain reaction activated some plasmas left on the ground by dead grunts, resulting in a huge explosion. "Yeah!" screamed the chief. Some deep cries of death could also be heard in the background. Right now, every in that room is dead except for the person in the mjnior armour. He walked around aimlessly looking for either a way out or something to do. He found some more pistol ammo on the ground, and luckily found a fully charged plasma pistol, as well as a health pack. He even found some Spork polish. The strangest of all findings was a pair of dead hunters lying on top of each other. He began to poke it with the Spork. He quickly got bored of that and followed the arrows on the ground, which led him to an elevator. He touched the SHINY control panel and the platform went down. Gravity seemed to fail a bit now because he can now jump really high and throw grenades even higher. When the elevator finally reached the bottom, he hurried out of it because the grenades are coming down fast. He then heard something horrible, so un-imaginably terrible, something that he left long ago. "Marines…" he growled.

Meanwhile… outside of the corridor… outside

Dom, the sniper of team Charlie, was stationed behind the main fighting force, well, sniping. "Watch out, Carroll, there's a" BAM! "Nevermind." He hardly does anything, but is quite a useful sniper.

Carroll was the leader of the team… as well as the victim of everyone's perverted thoughts, partly… mostly because she was the only female. "Shut up and snipe, Dom! I can handle myself," she said as she took a plasma bolt to the side. She then shot a couple rounds into Dom's general direction.

"I'd like to handle you too! Hehe, handle." Dom replied.

"You are so going to DIE!" She replied as she slammed the barrel of her assault rifle straight through a grunt.

"JOSH KILL!" Shouted the muscle behind the team, Josh. His job was cannon fodder, but he always somehow lives through it, so he has been dubbed as the thing that kills everything, aka, berserker. When he isn't in these crazy rages, he usually talks in a nice, civilized manner… usually.

An elite rushed towards John shooting plasma bolts. Josh stooped down, dodging the plasma aimed at his face and picked a covie pistol, over-charged it and unleashed its shield-taking down abilities towards the 1337. He staggered backwards and caught a full clip in his face, from the berserker.

"Evasive action everybody! The covies have a tank and a ghost!" Carroll shouted, CRACK "Okay, no ghost."

"Say thanks" Dom said.

"Thanks" said all the marines.

Dom continued sniping when purple plasma blobs distracted his vision. He looked towards the source and saw a tiny grunt cradled inside a tripod cannon. He was about to take the shot when he saw the grunt fall off flailing his arms. Dom did a quick sweep of the area to see the cause of the grunt's death and there it was: a 7-foot, half ton green cyborg. It was the Master Chief. "HOLY CRAP!" Dom exclaimed as he suddenly took out a little book from his utility pouch. He flipped to page 98 and read from it. "Wahoo! The Calvary has arrived!" He then threw the book up in the air and shot it with his sniper. "Stupid book."

"Grunt on turret" Thought the Chief

BAM BAM BAM

"Elite"

OVERCHARGE, PASHU, BAM BAM BAM BAM

"Jackals"

CRACK

"What the…"

RATATATATATA

KABOOM

"WOW! A mark V!"

"Glad you could join the party"

"Hello Master Chief"

"Cor… Nothing."

"Sigh… Marines" the Chief thought, "Just like last time." "Fine, brief me on the situation, then stand back" he muttered as he picked up the rocket launcher for the plasma pistol.

Carroll, being the leader of this squadron, began to talk, "The covenant have got us pinned down. We've got limited supplies. Here's let me introduce you to the team: This is Josh, he's our combat specialist. He always carries a jar of his special 'hyper fuel'. Once, he took down a whole covenant special ops force with his bare hands to defend that jar of his. This is Dom, the dumb-ass sniper. He just sits in the back and makes sexist comments. He's a jerk. And of course, I'm Lieutenant Wolf Carroll, commander of Charley company division #5. If you haven't noticed, I'm the only female marine that made it down here. Oh, and everybody else is just cannon fodder. Say 'Hello' cannon fodder!"

"Hello" said the rest of the marines.

"Yes, I understand" Said the Chief looking a little below Carroll's face. "I'll kill the covenant for you."

"… okay."

And, so Chief went on a killing spree with a rocket launcher, leaving the marines behind.

"You know, he's got the hots for you." Said Dom to Carroll.

"If he lays a hand on me, he's dead" She said fingering her assault rifle.

"Right… I wouldn't try anything. My sniper scope has a recording mode, and I've been recording." Whispered Dom slyly.

WHACK!

"Ouch." The sniper marine said as he fell to the ground.

"Anybody else want some?"

Josh started to speak, "Well, I was going to ask, but I don't really want to now."

The master chief came back with a smoking rocket launcher and stood where Dom was standing… and is now lying. CRUNCH "I'm back"

"Metal Boot… Crushing Lungs… Liver Bleeding… Self-Narration… Not Helping. "

"Let's keep going, shall we?" Said the Chief

"Need Air… and bio foam… lots of bio foam…"

The chief shifted his stance to better see Carroll's… let's just say Carroll.

CRUNCH "AHHHHHHHHH! TEH P41N!"

"Yes… Let's just keep going…" Carroll Replied. The Chief finally took his boot off of Dom.

"Sweet, Sweet relief… I see a light."

Josh took his flashlight away from Dom's eye. "Well, his pupils are dilating. He isn't dead, just… injured. He's fine." Josh then dragged Dom to his feet and pushed him forward. "Move it Marine!" Little do they know… they will meet more horrors… and more of their kind.

To Be Continued… (again)

Authors's Note: PLASMA PISTOL IS TEH ROXXORZ! Oh, and by the way, R&R!