Hermione was sad after Ginny left. She hadn't had much time to discuss the little things with her. And she hadn't even mentioned being pregnant. She did manage to give Ginny the families wands, her own included and promised to stop by soon. She also was able to identify Charley's and Bill's. Ginny's eyes had glazed over in tears to see Molly's. She said it would do a lot of good for Arthur to have it close, and George with Fred's wand. Hermione kissed and hugged her goodbye. Making her promise to come back soon and tell them how it went. Ginny said she would.

Severus had stood ashamed and quiet in front of Ginny. He stared at the floor with his hands crossed in front of him. He apologized profusely and asked that she forgive him someday. Ginny merely grinned and gave him a hug with a quick "I forgive you. Because it wasn't your fault and life is too short". They watched her fly away on her broom and waved after her. She turned and blew them a kiss.

oopOqoo

Neither one of them was very hungry even though the business with Dumbledore went through dinner. When they got back to their room Hermione only asked for tea and biscuits. She was exhausted in every sense of the word. Severus said he needed some time to himself and would be in the potion's lab. He assured Hermione that he was fine, but she knew him better than that. His withdrawal symptoms seemed to have lessened, but he was still a bit depressed. He needed to get centered again and the best way was to brew. He kissed her tenderly and told her not to wait up for him.

Hermione wanted to help him through this, but knew he was a loner at heart and her presence would only interfere with his recovery. She missed him the moment he walked out the door. She put her cup down and went to bed. It was cold without him, and a few tears came. She chided herself it was hormones and stop being a baby. A baby. She was going to have a baby. She was going to be a mum. A slight panic hit her now that she was alone without an agenda to keep her agile mind busy. Poppy was great, but she needed to see a doctor. Set up regular visits and buy baby stuff. She had no idea where to start. If only her mum could be there to help her, to tell her what she needed to do and what to expect, but that was not possible.

Hermione started to panic and inadvertently said aloud. "Oh gods I need help." Immediately an older female house elf arrived. She was a cute little thing with blue eyes and blond hair pulled back into a bun. Wearing the Hogwarts house elf uniform. Hermione was startled at first, not understanding why she had arrived. Then she realized she had used that phrase. Better think of something so that the elf will not feel misused. "What's your name?"

The elf smiled and curtsied. My name is Pinkel. You called Missus Hermione? What can I most humbly do for you?"

Hermione needed someone to confide in and no one is more trustworthy with secrets than a house elf. "Pinkel, can I tell you something and you never tell another soul?"

Pinkel's eye's already the size of golf balls, managed to widen farther. "It would be my great honor to keep your secret Missus Hermione."

"I'm afraid Pinkel. I'm just now allowing myself to think about being a mother and it frightens me. My body will change every day, and the delivery will be dangerous and painful. What if Severus thinks I'm fat and ugly? What if he leaves me? What if I don't love it? What if it doesn't love me? I don't know how to be a parent, I'm only nineteen. What if I make a mistake and the child turns out to be another Voldemort? What if they don't have magic at all!?"

Hermione was near hyperventilating with anxiety and Pinkel grabbed her tearstained face. "Easy Missus Hermione. Just breath. Slow now." Hermione calmed in the hands of the elf. "You take too much on yourself. Having a baby is as natural a thing as there is. You don't need to do anything. Your body will do all the hard work. And once you see and hold your child the danger and pain will be nothing to you. You and Headmaster Snape will give it all the love in the world. It will be a good baby. Made with love and cared for, you'll see. You may not be feeling, all the things you think you should be right now, because it's all so new to you. Every day that passes will bring challenges. And every day you will stand up to them. Next to killing the Dark Lord, having a baby is easy. You did not give into despair when you stood naked in chains before Him and his men. You did not let go of who you are when Headmaster Snape ordered you to his bed. You did not let someone else handle the bodies in the ravine. With such courage, you did all of that and more. There's nothing wrong with being afraid, as long as you remember you are not alone. Headmaster Snape loves you and he will never leave you. You have friends by the cauldron full. The peoples they love you for saving them and their children from horror. And we elves will always be there for you."

Hermione smiled a little behind her tears. "Pinkel? Have you ever had children?"

Pinkel smiled and nodded. "Oh yes Missus Hermione. Pinkel has two. A boy, Pavel. You met him yesterday. And a girl, Paige. They are both here with me in the castle. I'm very proud of them and they are a great comfort to me Missus."

Hermione dried her eyes and laid back down in the bed. "Thank you Pinkel. Can I call on you again if I need to talk?"

Pinkel smoothed her hair down and rubbed her back. "Of course Missus Hermione. I will come to you whenever you need me. Sleep now." The elf pulled the covers up and Hermione was asleep in moments.

oopOqoo

It was late before Severus would return to her. He had spent a lot of time pulling apart who he was and what he wanted in life now that he was free, as he brewed Hermione's morning sickness potion. Number one was Hermione and the child. Number two he wanted that home of safety and comfort that Hermione needed so badly. Number three he needed to be able to support them both and a future for them. Everything else could be managed one way or another.

So, what were his options? He was going to marry Hermione! They would be married this week or else! He was sure he would mess this relationship up one way or another and he wanted to be sure if she ran from him, it wouldn't be far.

Next, a home. That was kinda up in the air. He knew Hermione would want to stay here at Hogwarts, but he really wanted to leave. He had been trapped here for over twenty years and he'd had enough. He wanted someplace green with sunshine and out of the way where he could ward it so no one knew where they were. He could make a home and future there with her. There would be peace for the both of them. He would see about going to a wizard real estate broker to get some ideas.

Last, employment. If he manages to stay out of Azkaban, he could brew and sell potions. Under an assumed name of course, lest everyone think them to be poisoned. Or maybe even Hermione's name. He could sell that hell hole at Spinners End, and if his savings held out, they could get a cottage on the coast. Maybe even big enough for a potion's lab. It would be perfect for just the three of them. Maybe Lucius could help him. He owed him one after all.

Hermione. His tired body wanted sleep, and there was no better sleep than in her arms. It was like someone had pulled out a plug and all his energy had drained away. His sleeve holder now carried his old wand again. A stab of regret hit him. The Elder Wand had such power. Look at what he had already done with it. Maybe he was too hasty to just reject its use. Maybe he could use it and then put it away as Dumbledore had. It wasn't too late, Ginevra still had it. He could… The memory of Ginevra's face as he awoke from its spell on him was enough to convince him that they had done the right thing. Hurt, anger, fear. She hadn't had that much fear on her face since their first night together. He realized it was trying to reclaim him. Exposure to it would only increase its hold on him. He checked the potion and took a vial with him.