It was a nice day outside. It was cool, and snowing. Despite the fact that there are craters all over the place, most of the snow was stained purple-blue, and the stench of rotting covenant was everywhere, it was nice.
The Master Chief and his small army were passing through the canyon to their ultimate goal of reaching the control centre of Halo. Running desperately behind the chief was Carroll; the former leader of the marines, behind her was Josh, carrying the injured Dom. Behind them were the cannon fodder carrying a wide range of weapons. They didn't walk for long before they discovered another battle taking place. A group of marines were valiantly fighting off covenant. One particular marine was pwning all with the plasma pistol / M6D pistol combination. One was loafing around shouting orders and another one was in the shadows, sniping. They all looked so annoyingly familiar. They were also positioned around a tank, a working tank.
If you haven't noticed, Tank + Master Chief not good.
"Well, they seem okay," said Dom as a marine took half a battery of plasma rifle in the face. "Let's just quietly sneak by them."
"No! We have to help them," said Carroll, "Right, Chief?"
The Master Chief stared at the tank, then at Carroll. "Tank… Boobies…" he muttered, "My dreams have come true!" THUD, a swift kick to the balls was delivered. "Um… Carroll? You know I can't feel anything down there right?"
"JOSH! KILL THE COVENANT SCUM!" She cried, but he was already in 'the mode'. Josh took a swig of his special juice and rushed towards the covenant, assault rifle blazing. An unlucky jackal happened to be in his way. He kind of stepped on him by 'accident'. He quickly rolled to the side as his target; the elite spotted him and unleashed a wave of plasma. Josh shot several rounds into the elite's face. The energy shield flashed, blinding the elite for a moment. The berserker took that opportunity to rush straight into the elite, do a back flip over him, and shatter his spine with the butt of his gun. Everybody stopped fighting and stared at him in awe as he continued to use his assault rifle as a boomerang to take out the grunts and finished off the jackals by stepping on them. It was all over within seconds. The smoke cleared and Josh heroically stepped out. One marine was retching in cheesy-ness. The others just kind of absorbed it. The two teams were finally united.
Minutes Later…
Master Chief was busy caressing the tank, enjoying every inch of its Titanium-A plated surface. "Mmm… yes, just think of the FUN we'll have when I DRIVE you." He muttered to himself. Unfortunately, his suit had loudspeakers. The marines/cannon fodder, however, was talking and enjoying their break. They all stopped and stared at the chief in an awkward silence, but then continued talking. Some of them were talking about the battle.
"Damn! If it wasn't for that show-off jerk, I could have handled it all on my own!" Shouted an egotistic marine from the second division.
"The fool rushes, and so do you. Stick to the shadows and you will live longer." Replied another one with a sniper. (Not Dom if you were thinking that)
"Speaking of living, we have new cannon fodder!" Exclaimed a third one, which is the self-assigned leader of division #2, "Which means you have a less chance of…" Everybody glared at him. "Nothing…"
Suddenly, the Chief, using his super-human sense of stealth, popped up from nowhere and scared the crap out of the marines. "Hey Guys! Let's all get on the tank and have some FUN!" He then saw the marines from division 2 for the first time. The great warrior suddenly cramped up and froze. His armour even turned a bit white as if he saw a ghost. "…You …can't be …Silent Cartographer …You… "
FLASHBACK! (FUN)
Kyle, the egotistic marine, watched along with his comrades as the pelican rose, cutting off their only hope of getting off this island. Behind them was a beach littered with covenant bodies and weapons. A shady marine, whose name is unknown, stood in the back expressionless. We decided to call him Mr. X. In the midst of this despair, a single, insignificant cannon fodder stepped up and proclaimed him leader. His name is Barney. They couldn't have gotten a worse leader. Marines, in his eyes, are exactly what they are: cannon fodder. His way of thinking is eerily identical to the Master Chief's way of thinking. "We have to continue this mission and survive this hellhole!"
"That's the biggest oxymoron I've ever heard"
RATATATATATATA
END FLASHBACK! (YEA)
Yes, It was indeed the marines from the silent cartographer mission. Barney, Mr. X, and Kyle, they are all here… except for the marine who received half a battery of plasma rifle in the face. He's on the floor bleeding. Master Chief suddenly remembers the tank and climbed in. The others, due to their programming, sat on the track pods. Dom and Mr. X sat in the front two because they have snipers, and Barney and Carroll sat on the back two because the covenant has to get through the front first… or so they thought. Kyle and Josh, due their 1337ness, took ghosts. The rest of the marines / walking ammo packs walked. The next challenge awaits them.
Meanwhile…
I-am-mee, the gold elite commander of a covenant army, and previous owner of the ultimate forking and spooning device lay naked on a bridge after the encounter with the master chief. He has no weapons except for an oversized, modified plasma rifle, which he only uses sparingly. His energy sword's fail-save activated and blew up. But if he ever finds the person that stole his armour, he is going to jam his plasma rifle so far up his butt that the perpetrator won't have the problem with constipation for a VERY long time. Right now, he has to find something to wear. He found a suit of red elite armour, laying on the ground, as if it was discarded. It fit oddly like a glove. It's not as strong as the gold one, but his skill will make up for it. He put the suit on and drew his trusty gun. He then followed the trail of the slaughter.
Several Hours later… (He got very very lost)
I-am-mee, the former gold elite stood on the edge of a platform where several grunts and elites were lying on the ground, dead. He bent down and picked up a data crystal from the grunt's recording device, much like Jenkins', and inserted it into his Hemet cam.
REW
PLAY
The grunt was on a covenant drop ship with his grunt buddies. They were discussing about the lack of sleep, off duty and the elite beer party, which the grunts were responsible for cleaning up. I-am-mee sighed. Good times. Especially when they realized that the piñata was actually a rock. He really wanted the candy. "Mmm… Candy" he thought.
FF
STOP
PLAY
The grunt was in his little tent that he set up. He was replacing the urine absorption cartridge in the anal unit of his armour. He was loudly recalling his accident. "Stupid elite jumped up and said BOO. At least I had a light lunch and didn't drink much, unlike Yappy in the next tent. Boy, I'm pretty sure his tent is half full in poop right now. I could smell it from here. I've never seen so much stuff spray out so fast."
"My… Ass…" Yappy groaned in the next tent.
I-am-mee chuckled and continued.
FF
STOP
PLAY
The grunt was pacing around the platform that I-am-mee was standing on now. This grunt was obviously thinking to him. His comrades were all asleep. Suddenly, a human drop ship rose out of nowhere and the grunt ran away and huddled in a corner with all his grunt buddies. The next thing he saw was the butt of a human weapon smashing his face in.
UNEXPECTED END RECORDING.
MIA? KIA?
The gold elite commander ejected the data crystal out of his helmet and placed it back on the ground. He then cleared his throat. "S... " He swore so loud that it echoed. It's NOT supposed to echo. Now he finally realized that he was supposed to the trail of death the OTHER way. After his temper tantrum, he set out following the dead bodies, knowing it would ultimately lead him to the green demon.
To Be Continued... (I really need a new cliffhanger ending)
Author's Note: I need a vacation.
