A/N: sorry this took so long. This was a difficult chapter to write, plus writers block hit me hard. Thank you for being patient with me.

I also wanted to add a content warning for mention of miscarriage (nothing happens to Tiana don't worry).


They were like newlyweds again. At least that's what it felt like for Tiana, only now she was a lot more confident in her love making abilities. Maybe that's why it felt worse than when they were first married. Well, worse wasn't the right word, because everything was very very enjoyable thank you very much.

No, it was the temptation that was torturous. Every look, every glance, his laughter, his smiles… it all made her want to rip his clothes off and take him to bed. And the way he would look at her, sometimes even subtly licking his lips as he did so, well, Tiana knew he was thinking the same thing, which only made her desire rise.

But she couldn't. They couldn't. Back when Tiana's Palace first opened she had sat down with Naveen and told him point blank that they would be held to the same standards as the rest of their employees. A peck on the lips here and there, the occasional celebratory dance was alright, but anything further than that was to wait until after hours.

But then she'd see him with his sleeves rolled up, concentrating on one task or another, and memories of the two of them building this restaurant would come flooding back. To that time when it was only the two of them together all day, when they fell into each other's arms whenever the desire struck, which it had quite often.

Which was why Tiana often found herself letting her staff go early and practically shoving them out the door after the restaurant was closed.

"But we haven't finished cleaning everything yet," one of them would inevitably say.

"Y'all have been working so hard, you deserve a little extra time this evening," Tiana would reply, and lock the door behind them.

When she turned around, Naveen would be there, and he would take her in his arms and kiss her. Hard or soft, fast or slow, it didn't matter. Tiana would sigh into that kiss and melt into his embrace, and he would carry her to bed. Afterwards, they would giggle to each other while they finished cleaning the restaurant, and then they would kiss and go back to bed for another round.

Then inevitably, morning would come and they had to fight temptation all over again.

Was the staff able to tell? God, she hoped not, but in the back of her mind Tiana had a feeling they weren't being subtle about it at all. But how could she be expected to feel any other way when he was just so handsome? And then there was that spark between them that happened whenever they brushed fingers, or passed each other in the hallway, or had meetings in her office?

More than once during those meetings, Tiana wanted to shove all the papers aside, rip his clothes off and pin him to her desk. So she started keeping her office door open during those meetings, just in case.

Still, Naveen must have noticed that longing look in her eye they seemed to share over her desk whenever they had meetings.

One night Tiana was still in her office while she heard Naveen say goodnight to all their staff and the click of the lock that meant they were all alone. She smiled to herself and hurried to finish her work so she could run upstairs to bed. When she looked up she found her husband leaning against the doorframe, the light from the hallway shining behind him, almost creating a halo effect.

Her breath quickened at the sight.

"I'll be done in a minute," Tiana said, trembling in anticipation. How did he still have this effect on her? She liked it though, and hoped it would never go away. "Can you wait?"

Naveen bit his lip and lifted his eyes, tilting his head in that way that made his curls fall in front of his face. She almost climaxed right there. Fuck, but he knew how to turn her on.

Teasingly, he shook his head. "No," he said in answer to her question, and in two steps he was by her side. He grabbed her and kissed her with such a fiery passion that consumed every inch of her.

She clutched him as her knees buckled under her, but his grip around her was strong. She knew he wouldn't let her fall.

When they broke the kiss, she looked at him, starry eyed, and whispered, "Achidanza," which made him chuckle soft and low against her lips.

Gently, he guided her back, back, until she bumped into her desk. He met her eyes with a look that was so intense it sent that delightful tingling right to her clit.

"Eo'nado fukzana en li'scriparanta," he whispered, and Tiana shivered for the want of him.

Her Maldonian was still rough at best, but Naveen had taught her enough that they could whisper naughty things to each other in the throes of passion. Like right now.

She bit her lip, trembling now, running his words through her head once more to make sure she understood his meaning. Though even without her rudimentary knowledge that look on his face was more than enough to get it across.

'I'm going to fuck you on this desk.'

It sounded much better in Maldonian.

Her thighs tensed, her breath quickened, her fingers tightened around his shirt. "Adisira," she replied, breathlessly. Please.

Then he pressed his mouth to hers, and she was no longer capable of thoughts or reason or making decisions. Which was probably a good thing as all of her carefully organized files and papers were scattered to the floor, and she was splayed back onto the desk. Her lamp crashed down too, flipping the lampshade and making elongated shadows along the ceiling. But what did any of that matter when her husband had climbed up after her, and was pressing hurried and lustful kisses anywhere he could.

"Naveen," she breathed, but the sound was lost in the sweep of his tongue. She groaned, and he moved to kiss her throat, to unbutton her dress and cup her beautiful breasts in his hands, to grind his cock against her, even through the layers of clothes they were somehow still wearing. His name came from her lips over and over, as he tore off their clothes, and thrust into her with a lustful moan.

She groaned again, wrapping her legs around his waist, holding him to her tight while he moved faster and faster, making the desk creak.

"Tell me," he panted, rocking desperately against her, running his teeth along her breast. "Tell me."

"S-so good," she managed to say. Even after two years of making love with her husband, sometimes it still surprised her how he was able to leave her so speechless like this. Words often escaped her, and while she supposed she could try to think of better words to describe her ecstasy, it seemed unnecessary at the moment to even try to remember.

"Do you want more, love?"

"Yes," she whimpered.

Naveen grasped the edge of the desk behind Tiana's head, held on tight, and thrust hard.

The noise that she made… that incomprehensible and perfect noise was what he lived for. And then the way she held onto him and cried out his name once again, well it only made him fall deeper for her.

That way she opened up, physically and emotionally, only for him… how she gave herself to him fully each and every time they made love, was remarkable. He loved her, he loved her, he loved her. And as her body arched in invitation, he felt the first tight, tense flutterings of her impending orgasm.

"Do you like that?" he asked, just for the satisfaction of hearing her gasp.

"Yes."

Naveen grunted and moaned as he thrust harder, deeper, and she met him every time. Soon they were writing together in a mess of sweat and sighs, until her breathy sounds became sharp, and she turned rigid beneath him.

She shattered, as beautifully as he had ever seen, her hands twisting in his har, and her body shuddering around him. He watched her with an ache in his chest so intense it made him shudder, too, and then suddenly the ache was everywhere and he was moaning as he came hard, hard, hard.

Dizzy. He was dizzy. But he could feel Tiana panting beneath him, could hear her breathless laugh, could see her smile, like Evangeline shining bright in the night sky.

God he loved her.

Tiana raised a hand to cradle his face, her thumb training the curve of his lower lip. "What are you smiling about?" she asked once she had her breath back.

He turned his head to kiss her palm. "You."


Yes things were very good. Until they weren't.

After another month without getting pregnant, Tiana felt her determination rise. She was used to working hard to get what she wanted, and having sex with Naveen was much more fun than waiting tables. So she was certain that after these first few hiccups she would get pregnant with ease.

But then another month passed, and then another, and Tiana felt her resolution falter. Was she doing something wrong? So she tried all she could think of. She changed her diet, she wore looser clothes. She stopped lifting heavy things in the kitchen. She wondered if she was moving around too much, so she stopped dancing. Then she wondered if she was moving around too much during sex, so now she always laid on her back with Naveen on top.

And still. Another month passed. Nothing.

She could feel herself slipping. She was making more mistakes at work, and forgetting simple things around the apartment. Concentrating had never been an issue with her before, but now even following conversations was difficult. Naveen would be in the middle of a sentence before she registered that he had even been speaking.

Her thoughts were getting louder, that was the trouble. She couldn't ignore them, and really, why should she when they were right?

I'm a failure. I'm a failure at being a wife. Why did I ever think I could do this? My body is a failure and has failed me. I failed Naveen. He'll leave me because I'm a failure, and he'll be right. He deserves so much better….. He deserves someone other than me.

It was only a matter of time, wasn't it? And she wept at the thought when she was alone, wept for a future she couldn't give him that she knew he desperately wanted. He was so good with the young children who came into The Palace. He watched over the neighborhood kids who played around town after school, never scolding them, but making sure they didn't get into too much trouble.

Before all of this, it had warmed Tiana's heart to see how much they all loved him. But now her heart would break at the sight. She couldn't watch it anymore. She couldn't watch him do much of anything anymore. But that was made easy by the fact that he seemed to be avoiding her anyway.

He never stopped in the kitchen during working hours anymore for a quick kiss, or even to say how the customers enjoyed the food. When The Palace was closed it felt awkward between them, and Tiana found herself staying in her office more and more. Sometimes she staid in there until it was time for bed, when she would then dress in her nightgown, and they would have a quick session of uninspired sex, and then sleep.

Or she would try to sleep. This was the favorite time for her thoughts to come alive, and more often than not they tormented her throughout the night.

It was awful. It was all awful. And it was all her fault.

For so long Tiana had truly believed that there wasn't anything she could do if she put her mind to it. But now… now her world was crumbling around her. She couldn't seem to do anything right anymore.

Not even simple chores like washing dishes.

It was Monday so The Palace was closed, and she and Naveen were doing chores around the apartment. Or rather, Naveen was doing chores. She had heard him fill up the wash basin and scrub the dirty laundry, hang it out to dry, and now he had brought it back in to starch, iron, and fold.

All the while, she had stood at the kitchen sink, staring at the soap bubbles in the water as they popped one by one until there weren't any left. The radio played softly in the background, but she didn't like the broadcast. She wanted to change it, but couldn't even seem to move, no matter how much she screamed inside her head.

The band on the broadcast was taking a break which meant it was time for the announcer to talk about their sponsor. Tiana thought she remembered them being sponsored by floor wax, a brand she had decided to try and had turned out awful. So she was prepared to roll her eyes as the announcer would wax (ha) poetically about how amazing the product was, but they must have changed the sponsor because the band now played a little jaunty tune that was different then the floor wax music.

It was a jazzed up version of Rock-a-Bye Baby. Tiana felt her eyes sting with tears, and then the announcer started going on about a new kind of baby food that was top of the line, full of vitamins and minerals for growing babies, and perfect for the busy mom of today.

The tears and wails came on so suddenly, but she couldn't stop even though she desperately wanted to. She hated crying like this. Wasn't she above this kind of behavior? No, apparently not. Another reason for her to be a failure. So she wept harder, shaking, and gasping for breath.

And then, a pair of arms gently turned her away from the sink, wrapped around her, and held her close. All at once, everything she had been holding back came lose. Tiana couldn't remember the last time she had wept this hard. Had she ever? Not that she was even thinking rational thoughts right now. All she could do was cry into Naveen's shoulder as he held her tight.

She clung to him with all her might, grateful for his presence, but also ashamed of her outburst. And yet, every time he rubbed her back, squeezed her shoulder, brushed a tear away, she cried harder.

He didn't say a word during it all, only kept his hold tight around her, and breathed slowly and steadily. At last, when Tiana felt the tears begin to subside did she realize he was doing that so she could mimic his breath to calm down. She hiccuped, and breathed in with him, but couldn't take the whole breath without a sob breaking through. But she tried again, and again, and at last, even though it was shaky, she could breathe with him.

Naveen reached into his pocket and pulled out his handkerchief, offering it to her. Just the simple gesture almost set her crying again. But she dutifully blew her nose and cringed slightly, handing it back. If it bothered him, he didn't show it, as he quickly pocketed it.

Then he pressed a soft, gentle kiss to her temple as he embraced her once again. She let out a soft sob at that, but willingly fell back into his arms. Though they'd been having regular sex, this felt like the most intimate thing they had done in ages.

"What is it, princess?" he asked her softly. "What is wrong?"

She sniffed, and took a shaky breath. "Y-you know what's wrong."

Naveen cursed himself. Of course he knew what was wrong. She wanted a baby, and he couldn't give it to her. He could see how miserable he was making her, and not just in these few minutes of her weeping in his arms. No, it was the way she couldn't meet his eyes anymore, how she seemed to be avoiding him, how she didn't seem interested in sex anymore….

All because he was a failure as a man, and a failure as a husband.

He knew that she was angry with him about it. What else could it be? And normally he would have forced a conversation with her to talk it out and resolve it, but he couldn't because… because…

Because he was afraid.

He was afraid that she was disappointed in him, that she thought less of him, that she didn't think he was worthy enough for her anymore. He had heard things like that all his life, from his parents, his friends, his girlfriends, his teachers… and yes it had hurt then, but it couldn't compare to the devastation he would feel hearing it from Tiana. And so he started to avoid her too, thinking that if they hardly saw each other, she wouldn't have the chance to voice her opinions.

Yes he knew it was stupid, and yes he did it anyway.

If only he could give her a baby. Then she would want him again, and she wouldn't cry anymore, and she would be happy again. He would be a good husband, and he wouldn't be a disappointment anymore.

But he hadn't given her a baby, and she wasn't happy. And it was because of him.

"I'm sorry, Tiana," he said, hoping that if he apologized enough he wouldn't leave him.

She shook her head against his chest.

And at the same time they both said, "It's all my fault."

They both startled. Tiana blinked, bringing her head back to look directly at him. "What are you talking about, 'your fault'?"

"Of course it is my fault," Naveen countered. "How could it ever be yours?"

Tiana choked out a laugh. "Do you want the short list, or the long?"

"No, my darling. There is nothing wrong with you." Naveen cupped her cheek gently. "You're perfect."

At first she leaned into his hand, but then, as if thinking better of it, she shook her head again, dislodging his hand. She made to step away, stepping back as the tears began to flow once more, but Naveen held on and pulled her close. Surprising him, she wrapped her arms around him too, clasping him tight.

"Why can't I get pregnant?" Tiana whispered into his chest.

Briefly, Naveen wondered if he should make a joke. Say that his sperm must be too stupid to know what to do. That after years of trying not to get his partner pregnant, his sperm wasn't cooperating now that he actually wanted a baby.

Of course Naveen knew that it didn't work like this, but that didn't mean he hadn't had those thoughts many times. Still, it hardly seemed like the right time to say something like that, if it ever would be.

But there was something else. Something that he probably should have told her a long time ago.

He took a deep breath, and cupped the back of her head. "I do not know if this is something that can be passed down…. After I was born, my parents wanted to have more children. For the lineage, of course, but also I think they loved the idea of a big family.

My mother got pregnant many times, and was very happy each time. But they were difficult pregnancies, and she…. She lost them all. Until Ravi."

Tiana was shocked, feeling her heart break for her mother in law. She'd never put much thought into the age gap between Naveen and his brother. How awful that this was the reason for it.

"Poor Idhal," she whispered, her own sorrow gone for the moment. Tentatively, she asked, "How many?" not sure if she wanted to know the answer.

"Four."

She closed her eyes. Four miscarriages. And yet, now that Tiana pictured Idhal, she could see the weight of those losses on her. No wonder his parents had spoiled Naveen so much. With each additional loss, they would have made sure that their only child had whatever he wanted and was happy. And yet… whenever Naveen would tell stories of his childhood, his parents were often absent. Maybe it hurt them to even see Naveen, so they stayed away. She squeezed her husband tighter.

Then it suddenly became clear why he had been so protective of her when they first thought she was pregnant. And she had pushed him away. She really was an awful wife. She wanted to cry again, but she felt too empty even for tears.

Tiana took a shaky breath and squeezed him again. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "For your mama, and," she swallowed, "…and for you. I know you want a baby, and I don't know if what you said can be passed down, but I know I'm not helping matters much either. I'm trying everything I can think of, and still nothing is working! I don't know what to do anymore."

Ah there were those tears at last. And much like her tears, she couldn't seem to stop her words from flowing out of her. "I'm s-such a failure, and I don't blame you for avoiding me because you deserve so much better, but I love you so much and I m-miss you so much, and I… I just…. Please don't leave me." The last words came out in a sob, and once more she wept into his shoulder.

Naveen felt sick to his stomach. Never in all the time he had known Tiana, had she ever spoken like this. He'd never seen her like this either, and it scared him a little. She was always such a strong, capable woman, though now she was crumbling all around him and he wasn't sure he could put the pieces back together again.

He clung to her tight, and pressed quick kisses everywhere he could. "Shh, shh, my Evangeline. It will be alright. I am not going anywhere, love. I promise." He couldn't reach her lips with his own, as she was still crying into his shoulder, so he kissed her dimple instead. "Where is all of this coming from?"

She couldn't stop her tears, couldn't stop the way her breath hitched at every intake, but she pushed through, managing to get a few words out. "I (gasp) f-failed (gasp) you a- (gasp) and y-you're (gasp) d-disap (gasp) p-pointed in m-me."

"No, princess, never," he whispered in her ear, rubbing her back as gently as he could. "You could never fail me. You could never disappoint me either."

Her breath was coming back, though her voice was hoarse now from all the crying. "T-then why have you been so distant?" she asked quietly.

Naveen held her close, kissed her dimple again before burying his face in her neck. He couldn't bear to look at her, and maybe being so close like this, their words soft and cautious, was the only way to move forward.

"Because I am ashamed of the way I let you down. I cannot seem to give you a baby, and now I am less of a man because of it. I am not enough for you anymore," he whispered.

"S-Sweetheart, no, that's not t-true," Tiana whispered back the best she could with the occasional hiccup of air. "You haven't let me down," she sniffed, wiping her eyes, but staying firmly in his embrace, "and you've always been enough." She kissed his jaw lightly.

He shivered at her kiss, almost bursting into tears himself, but he swallowed them back. Fearfully, he asked, "Why don't you want to make love anymore?"

Tiana could have countered, saying that they made love all the time, they were trying to have a baby after all, but of course that would be a lie. At night they would lay together, and… well that was all. It could hardly be called love making.

Before she had a chance to answer, Naveen lowered his voice so much that even close as they were, Tiana had to struggle to hear. "Do you not want me anymore?"

Her heart broke at his words, clutching him to her. Their embrace couldn't get any tighter, but she tried anyway. She wanted him to feel everything that she had to give, and when his arms grew tighter too, she knew he felt the same.

"I never stopped wanting you," she whispered, and started kissing his jaw again, only now she couldn't stop. "I wanted you then, and I want you now." He had some stubble along his cheek, but Tiana didn't care, welcomed it even as she kissed his warm skin again and again and again.

"I thought we were doing something wrong in bed," she continued, another stray tear escaped, but she ignored it, too focused as she was kissing her husband. "So I thought if we just simplified it, and were consistent…." A sound escaped her lips that was part sob, part laugh. "God that sounds so stupid out loud."

Naveen let out a huge breath as relief washed over him. His thoughts were jumbled together, but what did it matter? She still wanted him! The reason for everything was so ridiculous, but of course Tiana had thought that way. She should have told him how she felt about everything, and he should have told her too. They were both idiots for keeping all of this to themselves.

He felt lighter than he had in weeks, and their whole situation seemed so absurd that Naveen started to laugh. First it was a soft chuckle to himself, but it grew quickly, and soon he dissolved into laughter. Then Tiana started to laugh and he knew that they would be all right.

They shook and giggled, and every time one of them started to wind down, the other would start up again, and soon they were right back at square one. But it didn't matter because it felt so good to laugh again.

Naveen pulled back and cupped his wife's face in his hands. He brushed away the tears on her cheeks, but this time he knew they were happy ones. Her face was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, even with her eyes red and swollen from crying. She was smiling, and smiling at him! Smiling enough that her glorious dimples were showing!

Tiana brushed away his own tears, ones he hadn't even been aware of, and then brought him down for a kiss on the lips, and Naveen thought that it just might be the sweetest kiss they had ever shared.

"I love you," she said, once they broke apart.

"I love you, too," he replied. "And I'm sorry."

"Me too." She sighed happily and fell easily back into their embrace. Settling her head on his shoulder, she said, "Let's never do that again."

"Good idea." Naveen rested his head on top of hers and rocked them slowly to the music from the radio. Had it been playing this whole time? Soon the announcer came back on the air and started yammering about baby food with Rock-A-Bye Baby playing in the background. He felt Tiana stiffen in his arms. Without a word, Naveen reached over, and turned it off.

"We still have a lot to talk about," Tiana said.

"Yes, we do." Naveen tilted her chin up and kissed her once more. "Let's eat something first, yes?" Another kiss, he couldn't help himself. "You relax, and I will make something."

"Oh really?" Tiana asked playfully. "What do you plan on making, mister?"

Naveen pursed his lips and glanced around the kitchen. "Hmmm…. How does a grilled cheese sandwich sound?"

Tiana kissed him in reply.

Naveen grinned. "I'll take that for a yes."