A/N: This is mid-Eclipse through the end of Breaking Dawn from Edward's perspective. Thanks for reading!

These characters are not mine and all belong to Stephenie Meyer.


Thank you so much for the kind reviews, guys! Needles1990, your review absolutely made my day.

Compromise (Eclipse)

Unfortunately I had to leave Bella not long after she'd fallen asleep. Emmett had thoroughly taken advantage of the training in the meadow and now I needed a shower.

Everyone was home except for Esme, who was watching Bella, and Alice, who I assumed was dodging my interrogation about her vision.

I grabbed a t-shirt and jeans before darting to the bathroom where I paused in the doorway. Hanging on a hook was a light blue, long-sleeve button up shirt. I reached for a small piece of paper sticking out of the front pocket.

Wear this. Headed to Seattle now for the charm - I'll leave it in your closet. Have fun tonight...

I was suspicious. Why did it matter what shirt I wore? I contemplated ignoring her selection and sticking with the t-shirt, but it was usually foolish to ignore Alice.

Have fun tonight...

I considered that as I showered. Was it sarcastic? Something related to her vision yesterday of a grumpy Bella?

More likely she was just being nice, knowing it would be a pleasant evening for Bella and I. She had said she had a good feeling about it. Of course she did. Alice would never allow for something she'd planned to disappoint.

I'd started to wonder, after our conversation in the car, if Alice hadn't seen the one thing I wanted most. I resolved to bring it up with Bella again.

I waited nervously for Alice to call letting me know my resolution had botched the coming evening, but to my delight, the call never came.

Back in Bella's room, I carefully laid down on the bed beside her. She looked much more at peace than she had the previous night. She hardly moved and she talked very little, only muttering my name a dozen times or so.

She slept in later than usual, but not as late as the day before. It only took about two minutes of consciousness for the worry lines to reappear on her face.

Given Alice's clues, I would allow myself to be optimistic. I hoped Bella would join me.

"Can I make a request?" I asked, brushing my fingers across her cheek.

"What?" She asked suspiciously.

"Please relax."

I saw she was about to argue so I pulled her lips to mine and tried my most effective method of persuasion.

I pulled away so she could breathe, but didn't give her a chance to fully come back to herself before stating my case. I stared deep into her eyes. "For this one night, could we try to forget everything besides just you and me? It seems like I can never get enough time like that. I need to be with you. Just you."

Her eyes were a little unfocused, her lips parted invitingly. "Okay," she breathed.

I washed the dishes Charlie had left in the sink while Bella showered, easily finishing the task before she could notice and scold me.

When she came down the stairs wearing the long-sleeve white shirt from Alice's vision, I wasn't entirely surprised but I was pleased. I liked the shirt. It flowed closely along her curves. The scoop neck revealed slightly more than I was used to. And though it only exposed the smallest triangle of skin, the open top button was tantalizing.

"What?" She asked, blushing under my scrutiny.

I cleared my throat. "You look beautiful, that's all."

She rolled her eyes in disbelief and closed the distance between us to take my hands. "You don't look bad yourself."

I smiled and kissed her forehead. "I have to confess something," I said.

"Okay...?"

I grinned sheepishly. "I made you lunch." It was just a sandwich, assembled exactly as she would have made it herself, but I still feared her wrath.

She glared at me, though I could see it was a little bit put-on.

I laughed and pulled her towards the kitchen.


Bella drove comically slow down the drive, but I was careful to conceal my impatience, not wanting to be a source of stress. Though the usual worries flitted around my overactive mind, tonight I was most anxious about two things.

First, giving Bella her gift. I imagined Bella wearing my diamond and had to fight back a smile.

Second, the agitating mystery of Alice's breadcrumbs and my resolution.

As we got closer to the house, Bella's heart rate ticked up slightly. I resisted asking her what had her so worked up, though I could guess excitement over our private night had something to do with it.

The sun had already set when we reached the house, but the meadow was bright, illuminated by the light pouring out of every window.

As soon as she cut the engine I was at her door. I lifted her from the cab with one arm and pulled the strap of her bag over my shoulder with the other. I brought my lips to hers, too impatient to wait until we were inside to start our night.

Without breaking the kiss, I swung her up so that she was cradled in my arms and carried her into the house. I kissed her eagerly embracing the electric current flowing through my body. Her breathing was heavy accented by small gasps that scrambled my thoughts and made my jeans feel much too confining. My own breathing was uneven.

I kissed her like this for several minutes, blowing past a dozen mental alarms. I'm just softening her up for the gift, I reasoned, I can stop. I won't lay her down on the couch... or touch the the eight small buttons still tightly fastened on her shirt... or the ninth button on her jeans and the zipper below that...

No, I wouldn't.

I chuckled and broke off the kiss, holding her at arm's length while my head cleared.

"Welcome home," I said, staring into her bright, excited eyes.

"That sounds nice," she said, breathless.

I set her gently on her feet, separating me further from her intoxicating warmth. But she wouldn't have that. She immediately wrapped her arms around me, pressing her body tight against mine.

Focus, I commanded myself.

"I have something for you," I said, my tone conversational.

"Oh?" She asked suspiciously.

"Your hand-me-down, remember? You said that was allowable." No way I'd let her worm her way out of this one.

"Oh, that's right," she said grudgingly. "I guess I did say that."

I chuckled. "It's up in my room. Shall I go get it?"

"Sure. Let's go," she said enthusiastically as she wound her fingers in mine. I was curious about her sudden shift in attitude, but I was too eager about the gift to try to draw an explanation out of her.

I scooped her up and was at my bedroom door in a second. I set her down in the doorway and retrieved the charm from the closet in another second.

She ignored me and went straight to the bed, sliding to its center where she curled up in a ball, her arms wrapped around her knees. She was bracing herself.

"Okay," she grumbled. "Let me have it."

I laughed. She was so adorable.

I climbed onto the bed to sit next to her. Her heart thumped unevenly and I wondered if she wasn't more excited about the gift than she let on.

"A hand-me-down," I reminded her sternly. I pulled her left wrist away form her leg, and secured the gold catch to the silver bracelet exactly opposite from his charm.

She examined it cautiously and inhaled a low gasp. I was suddenly worried she recognized the value of the sparkling stone.

"It was my mother's." I shrugged depreciatingly. "I inherited quite a few baubles like this. I've given some to Esme and Alice both. So, clearly, this is not a big deal in any way."

She smiled ruefully at my assurance, seeing through my nonchalance.

"But I thought it was a good representation. It's hard and cold." I laughed. "And it throws rainbows in the sunlight."

"You forgot the most important similarity," she murmured. "It's beautiful." I controlled my reaction. She liked it. She thought it was beautiful.

"My heart is just as silent," I mused. "And it, too, is yours."

She twisted her wrist, watching the light jump from facet to facet. Surely she wouldn't attend to it so closely if she was only trying to please me.

"Thank you. For both," she said.

"No, thank you. It's a relief to have you accept a gift so easily. Good practice for you, too." I grinned, anticipating a grumble from her of some sort.

But instead she leaned into me, ducking her head under my arm and cuddling into my side. Hmm... maybe I'd won her over with my gift. Would she like more gifts like this? I'd happily shower her with diamonds if that was the case, though that seemed too good to be true.

Perhaps I could just show her my mother's ring -

"Can we discuss something? I'd appreciate it if you could begin by being open-minded," she said nervously.

Yes, certainly too good to be true.

I was hesitant to agree after my quick defeat yesterday afternoon. I also couldn't help but worry this had something to do with Jacob Black.

"I'll give it my best effort," I said.

"I'm not breaking any rules here. This is strictly about you and me," she assured me as if she'd read my mind. She cleared her throat. "So... I was impressed by how well we were able to compromise the other night. I was thinking I would like to apply the same principle to a different situation."

I couldn't make sense of her strangely formal set-up. Despite my suspicions, I found it quite charming.

"What would you like to negotiate?" I asked, smiling.

She said nothing, but her heart raced. I wasn't sure if I'd ever heard it so worked up. It was a bit concerning.

"Listen to your heart fly," I murmured. "It's fluttering like a hummingbird's wings. Are you alright?"

"I'm great," she squeaked.

"Please go on then," I encouraged, my voice soft while my curiosity raged.

"Well, I guess first, I wanted to talk to you about that whole ridiculous marriage condition thing."

"It's only ridiculous to you," I said. I didn't like where this was going. "What about it?"

"I was wondering..." She pulled away from my chest to look up at me. "Is that open to negotiation?"

I frowned. This was a firm line for me. She really should've known that by now. My optimism felt so foolish now.

"I've already made the largest concession by far and away - I've agreed to take your life away against my better judgement. And that ought to entitle me to a few compromises on your part."

"No." She shook her head. "That part's a done deal. We're not discussing my... renovations right now. I want to hammer out some other details.

I looked at her suspiciously. What on earth was going through her head? What would make her so flustered and nervous? Surely something I wouldn't approve of.

"Which details do you mean exactly?"

She hesitated. "Let's clarify your prerequisites first," she said hurriedly.

"You know what I want," I said. She was clearly stalling.

"Matrimony." She nearly spat the word. It was quite melodramatic. But, I supposed we were discussing it. Not in the way I'd intended to bring it up, but still...

"Yes," I said, smiling widely. "To start with."

Her face, so carefully composed before, revealed her shock. "There's more?"

"Well," I said, weighing how honest I should be. "If you're my wife, then what's mine is yours... like tuition money. So there would be no problem with Dartmouth."

"Anything else? While you're already being absurd."

Well, since I was already being absurd... "I wouldn't mind some time."

"No. No time," she said, anger flashing in her eyes. "That's a deal breaker right there."

I sighed longingly. "Just a year or two?" A year or two to more of life. A year or two more to appreciate how much you'll lose.

She shook her head, her lips set in a stubborn frown. "Move along to the next one."

"That's it." I smirked mischievously. "Unless you'd like to talk cars..."

She grimaced and I grinned in response, but it faded quickly. I still had no idea what she was trying to get at with all of this. And honestly, I was feeling a little bruised and frustrated. My greatest aims were to delay her and to marry her. Neither objective was faring well.

I played with the fingers of her left hand, imagining my mother's ring there.

"I didn't realize there was anything else you wanted besides being transformed into a monster yourself. I'm extremely curious." Her obvious nerves had me on edge, but I tried to make my voice soothing. Clearly fear of my reaction was causing her to hold back.

I watched her face as she stared down at our hands. Suddenly pink blossomed in bright patches across her cheeks. I could feel the heat.

"You're blushing?" Caught up in the beauty of her skin, I extended my hand impulsively and brushed my fingers along her hot cheek. I couldn't understand what was making her self-conscious. "Please, Bella," I begged. "The suspense is painful."

Her white teeth bit at her lovely pink lip and suddenly two unfulfilled desires were warring for my attention.

"Bella," I said, my impatience plain.

I watched as she let her lip slip slowly through her teeth. I thought I might go crazy.

"Well, I'm a little worried... about after," she confessed.

I tensed. Had I finally gotten through to her? Was she having second thoughts? But no, she'd outright refused any delay not two minutes ago.

I was suddenly feeling agitated with Alice. Though Bella's face did not wear the same expression it did in the vision, it was lit by the same artificial light. Surely Alice had known and kept from me whatever it was Bella danced around now.

I was careful to keep the inner tension out of my voice. I truly didn't want her to worry and hoped I could reassure her. "What has you worried?" I asked.

"All of you just seem so convinced that the only thing I'm going to be interested in, afterward, is slaughtering everyone in town," I winced at the image of her suffering from the most vile aspects our nature. I'd much rather she spent her 19th year at Dartmouth, warm and pink with endless opportunities before her. "And I'm afraid I'll be so preoccupied with the mayhem that I won't be me anymore... and that I won't... I won't want you the same way I do now."

While it was true that her thirst would be all consuming at first, I knew our bond would survive the transformation, whether she married me first or not. "Bella, that part doesn't last forever," I assured her.

She looked slightly exasperated with me and I couldn't understand why.

"Edward," she said nervous, staring down at her wrist. "There's something that I want to do before I'm not human anymore." Her blush was somehow deeper now.

Oh. Of course.

Bella who hated gifts, Bella who wouldn't let me pay to fill up her truck, Bella who wouldn't let me pay for Dartmouth... Of course it would be difficult, embarrassing, to ask for something she wanted now. Hadn't we just discussed yesterday how receiving things from me in particular was hard for her? And with time running so short and her anticipation of a difficult first year, she was under pressure to make her request before the opportunity was lost forever.

Though still anxious to understand, I could sympathize and appreciate her reluctance now. Even if it was irrational - I wanted to give her everything.

"Whatever you want," I encouraged, my eyes wide with concern. I hated this - not knowing what she was thinking, but also that she came to me in this way, like a timid, unempowered 50's housewife asking her husband for an allowance.

"Do you promise?" she muttered sadly, still looking down. But how could she be sad? How could she think I could possibly refuse her anything? I knew I hadn't kept a perfect poker face when I'd given her the charm earlier. She had to know the pleasure I experienced giving her things.

"Yes," I said, almost forcefully, as she finally met my eyes. "Tell me what you want, and you can have it."

"You," she mumbled. So, we were back to stalling.

"I'm yours," I said smiling, trying to relieve her fears. I stared into her eyes, desperate for some clue, but she looked away.

She took a deep breath and shifted forward so that she was kneeling. Her arms wrapped around my neck and she kissed me.

I kissed her back gently, enjoying her tender lips, but not allowing myself to become distracted as she clearly intended. I ran through the past few minutes, recalling everything with perfect detail trying to make some sense of it. Perhaps I could just start offering her things to see if she'd bite. Maybe a trip to Europe. She'd expressed a desire to go there once. Would she want more time with her mom? Or something adrenaline inducing like sky diving while her heart could still pound, much like it was now.

She unlocked her arms and I felt her trembling fingers slide down my neck. I suppressed an answering shudder. Maybe she would be successful in distracting me... But why were her hands shaking? It wasn't like her to be timid. They passed over my collar and then I felt the slightest tug. A button coming undone.

Wear this... Have fun tonight... I suddenly remembered Alice's note. Alice's redirection.

And Bella's blush.

I'm afraid... I won't want you the same way I do now.

There's something that I want to do before I'm not human anymore... Another button undone... You.

I froze. The animal in me rejoiced.

I pushed her away quickly while I still had my wits about me, my face heavily disapproving.

"Be reasonable, Bella." I couldn't believe she was pushing this point. She'd lived alongside my kind long enough now to understand the impossibility of it. She knew the careful line I'd drawn to control those hungers.

And, oh, how demanding were those hungers in this moment...

"You promised," she said weakly. "Whatever I wanted."

The skin now exposed on my chest tingled with the memory of her fingers brushing against it.

"We're not having this discussion," I said firmly to Bella, to the animal, as I redid the buttons.

Buttons. That was the difference between the shirt I'd chosen and the one Alice had chosen.

"I say we are," Bella growled. She ripped open a button on her own shirt and I could just see the top swell of her breast where it disappeared into white lace. I felt something like a spasm pass through my abdomen as I resisted my most indecent impulses.

I grabbed Bella's wrists and pinned them to her sides before she could wreck me.

"I say we're not," I said flatly.

We glowered at each other for a moment. Her chest - I was all too aware of it at the moment - rose and fell with quick agitated breaths while I remained completely still, fighting to keep perfect control.

I was certainly frustrated with Bella -

Why couldn't she take her safety seriously for one second? Fine. She had no self-control. But did she have to work so hard to undermine my own?

- but I was furious with Alice.

It wasn't that I had expected Alice to warn me. Obviously this was a very private matter. What infuriated me was that she'd actively worked against me to help Bella in her insane pursuit.

"You wanted to know," Bella said unhappily.

"I thought it would be something faintly realistic," I retorted, my voice harsh. My frustration towards Bella and my anger towards Alice were nothing in comparison to my own self loathing. Of course she didn't want diamonds or lavish trips. She wanted what I absolutely could not offer her.

I hated my inhuman strength, my deadly hands, my venomous teeth. I hated the vile part of myself that wanted to ignore all of that and take her right now.

"So you can ask for any stupid, ridiculous thing you want - like getting married - but I'm not allowed to even discuss what I - "

While she continued her attack, I pulled her hands together to restrain them in just one of mine, and put my other hand over her mouth. I didn't know, if she said the words explicitly, if I'd be able to refuse her.

"No." My tone rang with finality and my face was hard.

How easily had she molded my will to her own yesterday, though I'd wanted to fight so badly. It had only taken a few words.

And how insignificant a desire vengeance seemed when compared to her body...

No, there could be no discussion.

She took a deep, shaky breath. When she exhaled, I sensed the fight leave with her hot breath. She looked down, glaring at the comforter. I felt a flash of heat under my hand and realized she was blushing again.

I sighed, wondering what this new reaction meant. I moved my hand under her chin and pulled her face up until she had to look at me.

"What now?" I asked.

"Nothing," she mumbled. I worried my actions, though necessary, might make her more prone to edit. Or to say nothing at all.

I scrutinized her flushed face for a long moment, ignoring her attempts to twist away from my gaze. Her eyes were wet and I realized I'd seen this expression before, only once.

My brow furrowed in concentration as I recalled. We sped along a dark highway. It was the night she confessed she knew what I was and that it didn't matter. The night that she said she couldn't stay away from me. "It's too late," she'd said. "Never say that," I'd snarled. I'd made her cry. I'd caused her pain.

I was startled to realize I'd just done it again.

"Did I hurt your feelings?" I asked, shocked. Shocked because my desire for Bella never truly went away. It always simmered somewhere in my head waiting to assert itself. So, for her to think I didn't want her just as badly...

"No," she lied.

I hadn't known how to comfort her last time. I'd been too scared I'd repulse her. Or kill her.

Faster than her eyes would be able to detect, I pulled her into my arms now, her face cradled between my shoulder and my hand, while my thumb stroked reassuringly against her cheek.

"You know why I have to say no," I murmured. "You know that I want you, too."

"Do you?" She whispered doubtfully.

"Of course I do, you silly, beautiful, oversensitive girl." I laughed once, and then my voice was bleak. "Doesn't everyone? I feel like there's a line behind me jockeying for the position, waiting for me to make a big enough mistake..." The words were crude, but how else would she understand? "You're too desirable for your own good."

"Who's being silly now?" She muttered. Clearly not believing me.

"Do I have to send a petition around to get you to believe? Shall I tell you whose names would be on the top of the list? You know a few of them, but some might surprise you." Certainly she wouldn't expect to find a second dog on the list. Or nearly every Forks High class of '06 alumnus. I supposed Ashley Dowling would surprise her, but I wasn't cruel enough to out the girl even if her explicit fantasies did agitate me.

Bella shook her head against my chest. "You're just trying to distract me. Let's get back to the subject."

I sighed. Well, the fight had not completely left her.

"Tell me if I have anything wrong," she said with forced calm. "Your demands are marriage" - her façade briefly broke on the word - "paying my tuition, more time, and you wouldn't mind if my vehicle went a little faster." She raised her eyebrows. "Did I get everything? That's a hefty list."

I was having trouble keeping a straight face. Though it wasn't fair to generalize, having the insight I did, I would bet 99% of Forks women would be agreeable to those terms. Maybe in a larger city, the marriage part wouldn't hold up as well, but the rest of it would hardly be objectionable. Only Bella, my Bella, could see trouble in that list.

"Only the first is a demand. The others are merely requests," I clarified, unable to completely conceal my amusement.

"And my lone, solitary little demand is - "

"Demand?" I interrupted, suddenly serious again.

"Yes, demand."

My eyes narrowed. Was this it then? Defeat? I'd worried all too often she would choose the dog over me. But in the world where she stayed with me, I'd just always assumed that, eventually...

"Getting married is a stretch for me," she said. "I'm not giving in unless I get something in return."

I wondered again what exactly Alice had had a good feeling about and what she thought she'd help along with the shirt. Things were not going my way or Bella's. I wondered where we'd gone off the rails.

I leaned down to whisper in Bella's ear, taking great care to not hurt her again. "No," I murmured, "It's not possible now. Later, when you're less breakable. Be patient, Bella."

"But that's not the problem," she clarified. "It won't be the same when I'm less breakable. I won't be the same! I don't know who I'll be then."

"You'll still be Bella," I promised, knowing it was true.

She frowned. "If I'm so far gone that I'd want to kill Charlie - that I'd drink Jacob's blood or Angela's if I got the chance - how can that be true?" I was glad she couldn't easily see my face. Even if our night wasn't turning out to be quite as relaxing as I had hoped, I'd rather the dog not become a part of it.

"It will pass," I assured her. "And I doubt you'll want to drink the dog's blood -" I pretended to shudder "- even as a newborn, you'll have better taste than that."

"But that will always be what I want most, won't it?" She challenged, undeterred. "Blood, blood, and more blood!" As a Cullen, I couldn't help but find her macabre description a little insulting. We prided ourselves on our responsibility and self-control that enabled us to relegate the blood, blood, and more blood side of things to a mostly ignored corner while we lived somewhat normal lives.

"The fact that you are still alive is proof that that is not true," I pointed out.

"Over eighty years later," she said, unconvinced. "What I meant was physically, though. Intellectually, I know I'll be able to be myself... after a while. But just purely physically - I will always be thirsty, more than anything else."

I couldn't argue. It was all true and she knew it.

On top of that... her unreasonable demand... well, I could see some reason in it now. I could see yet another thing I would take from her. I didn't have to read minds to know that, physically, sex was the pinnacle of the human experience. For my kind, just as Bella argued, it was human blood and, if I did my job well, she would never know that pleasure either.

"So I will be different," she concluded unopposed. "Because right now, physically, there's nothing I want more than you. More than food or water or oxygen. Intellectually, I have my priorities in a slightly more sensible order. But physically..." She twisted her head to kiss the palm of my hand.

Throbbing electricity consumed me as my mind flooded with every tantalizing memory, every fantasy...

For one moment, I was simply a man. And the most attractive woman in the world had just told me, more than anything, more than food or water or oxygen... that she wanted me.

Instinctively, I took a deep breath. It sounded unsteady, like my control. But it brought me what I needed. Her scent seared my throat and the pain reminded me of what I was.

"Bella, I could kill you," I whispered. It was a plea to myself as much as it was to her. It was a plea to push this no further. I could see the perilous cliff now and I was on my knees beside it. This was why it was a bad idea to discuss dangerous things with Bella.

"I don't think you could," she said.

I lifted my hand from her face and quickly reached behind me to snap a metal rose from the wrought iron post of the canopy.

She looked at me confused as I held it up for her examination. After a few seconds I closed my hand, my fingers contracting gently, and then I opened it again. The metal was a cast of my hand for a moment before it abruptly crumbled into black sand.

I was back to my self loathing as I worked through my demonstration. Back to my impossible wish that I could be human for Bella.

She glared at me. "That's not what I meant. I already know how strong you are. You didn't have to break the furniture."

"What did you mean then?" I asked in a dark voice, tossing the handful of iron sand to the corner of the room.

I stared at her face intently, eager to understand where this irrational faith in me came from.

She hesitated, seeming to organize her thoughts. "Obviously not that you aren't physically able to hurt me, if you wanted to... More that, you don't want to hurt me... so much so that I don't think you ever could."

I started shaking my head before she was done.

"It might not work like that, Bella." The line was there for a reason. When we danced too close to it, my perfect control started to unravel. My animal impulses came in fast and hard. My focus faded.

"Might," she scoffed. "You have no more idea what you're talking about than I do."

"Exactly. Do you imagine I would ever take that kind of risk with you?"

I remembered again the agony I'd felt leading up to my decision in the meadow so long ago, knowing I might very well kill her. Alice had seen no other option - my path and Bella's path always had to pass through that knot.

This was so very different. There would be no knot unless I was foolish enough to create one.

Bella stared into my eyes for a long minute. She must have found my resolve there. I could see the excited energy drain from her face.

"Please," she finally whispered, hopeless. "It's all I want. Please."

Bella was begging. She was begging me to have sex with her. And I was causing her pain by refusing.

My breathing was uneven as I fought to hold on to my focus. I needed to think. More than anything, beyond reason, I wanted to soothe her need. That desperation mingled with my lust, telling me to just pull her on top of me and let her have her way with me. Surely that would please her. End her begging. Fulfill her need. Our need.

I needed to think.

It was painful. The struggle between rational thought and what Bella wanted. How could I deny her anything? How could I possibly say no when only a yes would end her suffering? It didn't help that I wanted it, too.

She opened her eyes, reassessing. I didn't have the mental capacity to control my face in that moment and I was sure she could see my indecision.

What a dangerous creature she was. This woman with the large brown eyes. Such seductive eyes...

"Please?" she whispered again. Her heartbeat picked up speed, complimenting the electric current racing through my body. "You don't have to make me any guarantees. If it doesn't work out right, well, then that's that. Just let us try... only try. And I'll give you what you want. I'll marry you" - I froze - "I'll let you pay for Dartmouth, and I won't complain about the bribe to get me in. You can even buy me a fast car if that makes you happy! Just... please."

I tightened my arms around her and leaned down to her ear. My cool breath made her shiver. "This is unbearable. So many things I've wanted to give you - and this is what you decide to demand. Do you have any idea how painful it is, trying to refuse you when you plead with me this way."

"Then don't refuse," she suggested breathlessly, her eyes smoldering. My thoughts became scrambled as she dazzled me. "Please," she begged once more.

Bella, Bella, Bella... she was all I could think of.

"Bella..." I shook my head slowly, trying communicate what my words refused to, but my lips betrayed me. I moved them back and forth across her throat.

Her heart, racing already, spluttered frantically, exciting me. As did her skin and the way she was almost panting now. Her body and her heat...

It was all so tempting, just her body alone, but for her to promise her hand in marriage... yes, it was unbearable.

I was starting to think I was foolish enough to create another knot. The situations weren't so dissimilar. I'd had to desensitize myself to her scent, to her pulse, to the idea of drinking her blood. I'd had to imagine those things rather than shy away from them.

Maybe that's what I needed to do now. A little test. A little indulgence.

It wasn't that I didn't fantasize about Bella. It was impossible not too. However, my fantasies were implausible - intentionally so. Me loving her as a human would with no complications or restraint. Or, less commonly, they were imaginings of the future when Bella was changed. But never did I allow myself to consider how I might love this human girl as a vampire. An incubus.

But practically speaking... if I was to really do it, well, it would be logistically challenging. Those logistics - how to not kill, injure, or bite her - and those sensations - me being hard and cold consumed entirely in her soft blazing fire - were forbidden.

Or they had been. Until she'd begged.

Still indecisive, I turned my face slowly towards hers. She took advantage of my obvious weakness, twisting quickly in my arms and stretching her neck so her lips met mine.

I surrendered, ever so slightly, to the animal to see what he would do.

Suddenly, having not fully planned to do so, I seized her face. My lips massaged hers more deeply than ever before. Their tenderness, their give... it was so immensely pleasurable.

Her arms locked around my neck so she was pressed tightly against me and I felt her body tremble. Whether it was due to the cold or gratification, the animal didn't care, he delighted in it either way.

It was Bella who eventually broke the kiss, gasping for air.

My lips moved to her neck where I rejoiced in the sensation of her velvet skin above her pulsing artery. The sound of her racing blood, once a such a vile temptation, reminded me now of her vitality and her desire.

While I worshipped her neck, I felt her hands, so much more sure now, return to the buttons of my shirt. The animal grew more and more excited with each tug at the fabric. Her fingers, like licking flames, traced the planes of my bare chest.

She placed her hand under my chin to pull my mouth back to hers and I eagerly complied. I held her close, one hand cupping her face, my other arm tight around her waist straining her ever closer to me. I could feel her breasts against my chest through the thin fabric of her shirt.

The animal was loud, but I could find the rational side of myself, too. I could make the careful calculations I needed to keep her safe with each movement. Though I wanted very much to deepen the kiss, I never forgot my venomous teeth.

She only wanted to try. Surely I had the control for that. We could progress slowly, testing my concentration with each intensification. It would have to be carefully planned.

I was high on the electricity pulsing through me. On her baseless faith in me. On the promise of victoriously sliding the ring onto her finger. On the anticipation of her joy at my concession.

I felt her arms move and then felt the backs of her hands against my chest. I could guess what she was doing. It was best to stop her while I still could. Though I really didn't want to.

In a second, I locked my hands around her wrists and pulled them above her head which I rested on a pillow. I laid down beside her and put my lips right to her ear.

"Bella," I murmured, "Would you please stop trying to take your clothes off?"

"Do you want to do that part?" She asked, giving me butterflies. The honest answer was yes. But I needed to prepare and, while she was clearly not a prude with early 20th century morals, I supposed I was.

"Not tonight," I answered softly, kissing down her cheek and along her jaw. The animal was carefully restrained again, but every other part of me was elated.

"Edward, don't - " she started to argue.

"I'm not saying no," I reassured her, not wanting her to fret a second longer. "I'm just saying not tonight."

She was quiet for a moment, her breathing slowing. I adorned her neck with kisses, excited for what was coming next.

"Give me one good reason why tonight is not as good as any other night," she demanded petulantly. She was still breathless and I found that a little satisfying.

"I wasn't born yesterday." I chuckled as I kissed her earlobe. "Out of the two of us, which do you think is more unwilling to give the other what they want? You just promised to marry me before you do any changing, but if I give in tonight, what guarantee do I have that you won't go running off to Carlisle in the morning? I am - clearly - much less reluctant to give you what you want. Therefore... you first."

She exhaled with a loud huff. "I have to marry you first?" She asked in disbelief.

"That's the deal - take it or leave it. Compromise, remember?"

I didn't want to give her a chance to 'leave it' though. I wrapped my arms around her and started kissing her, hoping to persuade her. I touched my bottom lip to her top one with the lightest pressure and exhaled slowly, knowing how my breath made her heart race. Abruptly I pulled at her top lip with my own lips, massaging it again as I had earlier, before doing the same to her bottom lip. She responded enthusiastically, and the dance quickened. When it seemed like she'd gone too long without breathing I quickly stroked her top lip with my tongue and pulled away an inch.

"I think that's a really bad idea," she gasped.

"I'm not surprised you feel that way." I smirked. "You have a one-track mind." I liked that about her, too much, even though it made my life harder.

"How did this happen?" She grumbled, wearing the grumpy expression I recognized from Alice's vision. "I thought I was holding my own tonight - for once - and now, all of a sudden - "

"You're engaged," I said smugly, just as I'm sure Alice had seen I would.

"Ew! Please don't say that out loud."

"Are you going back on your word?" I demanded with mock incredulity, pulling further back to read her face. But I was smiling because I had little doubt now, reassured by both Bella's insatiable appetite and the fact that we were on track with what Alice had seen.

As I smiled I heard her heart react along with her sharp inhalation. But she didn't smile back. She only glared.

"Are you?" I pressed.

"Ugh!" She groaned. "No. I'm not. Are you happy now?"

My smile widened and her heart stuttered again. I couldn't conceal my joy, nor did I want to. Never had I been this happy.

"Exceptionally," I said.

She groaned again.

"Aren't you happy at all? I asked. The subtle movement in her face as she reacted to my question told me there was a high probability I wouldn't like her answer and I wasn't ready to for my happy bubble to burst.

I kissed her again, hoping I could somehow transfer even a fraction of my jubilation on to her.

"A little bit," she admitted when I finally let her speak. "But not about getting married."

I kissed her again, but accepted I wasn't likely to change her opinion on marriage in one night. In my current mood I felt immune to her negativity. In fact, I found it amusing. I brushed my lips along her cheek bone and pressed them once into her hair just above her ear.

"Do you get the feeling that everything is backward?" I laughed. "Traditionally, shouldn't you be arguing my side and I yours?

"There isn't much that's traditional about you and me," she said

"True."

I pulled away slightly so I could see her face. Though I'd memorized it exactly, I felt the need to examine it again knowing she was my fiancé. My eyes swept across her forehead and her delicate eyebrows, examined the perfect pink of her cheeks and her cute little nose. Finally they lingered on her lips. The restless animal was impatient like Bella. He imagined how she might bite her lip in a fit of pleasure. How her lips would part while she sighed, or moaned, or called out my name...

My lips were on hers again. The pressure, the heat, the give... Focus, I reminded myself again and again. I pushed the line, moving it further and further out to test the endurance of my concentration.

It did get more difficult the longer we went on. For one, her heart was hypnotizing. There was excitement in its acceleration, but when it finally plateaued, it seemed to lure me into a false sense of security. That false sense of security made it that much harder to manage the second challenge, the impulses. The impulses did not factor in the careful physics of handling a human so I always had to be one step ahead ready to modulate them. Also compounding the impulse problem was the greatest complication of all. Her scent.

Because of the overwhelming force her blood was to me, it had taken some time for me to separate out this other, more insidious scent, only detectable with prolonged kisses and touch. It wreaked havoc on my thoughts through chemical processes that were unknown to me. When I wasn't being foolish as I was now, I accepted its arrival as the warning sign it was and put on the breaks.

But now, my room was thick with it. Stronger and more concentrated than ever before as I stretched out each kiss and intensified each touch.

I found myself contemplating the buttons of her shirt, intrigued by the white lace I'd glimpsed behind them earlier, and decided it was probably time to slow things down. Reluctantly, I removed my lips from hers. Her face was flushed, as was the skin I could see of her chest.

I moved my lips to her palm so my eyes wouldn't linger there.

"Look, Edward," she murmured, "I said I would marry you, and I will. I promise. I swear. If you want, I'll sign a contract in my own blood."

"Not funny," I murmured against the inside of her wrist. I brushed my lips along her veins there, trying to clear my head of the other scent with the scent of her blood.

"What I'm saying is this - I'm not going to trick you or anything. You know me better than that. So there's really no reason to wait. We're completely alone - how often does that happen? - and you've provided this very large and comfortable bed..."

"Not tonight," I said again.

"Don't you trust me?" She asked, sounding hurt.

"Of course I do," I assured her.

I was kissing her palm again when I felt the light pressure of her hand against my face. Understanding her intent, I brought my face up to the level of hers.

"Then what's the problem? It's not like you didn't know you were going to win in the end." She frowned. "You always win."

"Just hedging my bets," I lied confidently, not knowing quite how badly the truth would go, but knowing it would indeed go badly.

"There's something else," she stated shrewdly, her eyes narrowing. "Are you planning to go back on your word?"

"No," I promised solemnly. "I swear to you, we will try. After you marry me."

She shook her head, and laughed glumly. "You make me feel like a villain in a melodrama - twirling my mustache while I try to steal some poor girl's virtue."

She took me by surprise, as she had so many times before, with her uncanny intuition. My eyes were wary as they flashed across her face. I quickly ducked down to kiss her collar bone, allowing me a second to compose myself.

But of course she had seen my reaction. "That's it, isn't it?" She let out a short laugh of shock. "You're trying to protect your virtue!" She covered her mouth with her hand to muffle her giggle.

"No, silly girl," I muttered against her shoulder. "I'm trying to protect yours. And you're making it shockingly difficult."

"Of all the ridiculous - " I cut her off, not appreciating her dismissiveness and eager to argue my case.

"Let me ask you something. We've had this discussion before, but humor me. How many people in this room have a soul? A shot at heaven, or whatever there is after this life?"

"Two," she answered fiercely.

"All right," I agreed easily, knowing that would only strengthen my argument. "Maybe that's true. Now, there's a world full of dissension about this, but the vast majority seem to think that there are some rules that have to be followed."

"Vampire rules aren't enough for you? You want to worry about the human ones too?"

"It couldn't hurt." I shrugged. "Just in case."

She glared at me through narrowed eyes.

"Now, of course, it might be too late for me, even if you are right about my soul."

"No, it isn't," she argued angrily.

"'Thou shalt not kill' is commonly accepted by most belief systems." I looked straight into her eyes. "And I've killed a lot of people, Bella."

Though I was long past expecting her to run away screaming as she should, I still felt obligated to remind her. Especially now that she had agreed to marry me.

She didn't disappoint. "Only the bad ones," she argued.

I shrugged. "Maybe that counts, maybe it doesn't. But you haven't killed anyone - "

"That you know about," she muttered. I smiled - she was being cute.

"And," I continued, "I'm going to do my best to keep you out of temptation's way."

"Okay. But we weren't fighting over committing murder."

"The same principle applies - the only difference is that this is the one area in which I'm just as spotless as you are. Can't I leave one rule unbroken?"

"One?"

I sufficiently distracted her for a minute detailing the extent of my sins.

"But what did you ever covet?" She asked doubtfully. "You have everything."

"I coveted you," I said, my smile darkening. "I had no right to want you - but I reached out and took you anyway. And now look what's become of you! Trying to seduce a vampire." I shook my head.

I unexpectedly thought of Jacob Black and how horrified he would be by Bella's pursuit and my agreement, but I did my best to push the thought away.

"You can covet what's already yours. Besides, I thought it was my virtue you were worried about."

"It is. If it's too late for me... Well, I'll be damned - no pun intended - if I'll let them keep you out, too."

"You can't make me go somewhere you won't be. That's my definition of hell," she said very seriously. Then she blinked a couple times, seeming bothered by her tone shift. "Anyway, I have an easy solution to all this: let's never die, alright?"

I played along, eager to hold on to my own good mood. "Sounds simple enough. Why didn't I think of that?"

I smiled at her, dazzled by her beauty and the fact that she had said yes... well, essentially, she'd said yes.

In all my joy I hardly considered how sour her expression was until she let out an angry humph. "So that's it. you won't sleep with me until we're married."

"Technically, I can't ever sleep with you," I said. Her eyes widened, seeming just as surprised at my silliness as I was. Though wasn't she just a tad silly herself, throwing herself at me, begging for sex, yet being too timid to actually use the word 'sex'? I'd never heard her say it.

She rolled her eyes. "Very mature, Edward."

I smiled ruefully. "But, other than that detail, yes, you've got it right."

"I think you have an ulterior motive," she said. Her dark eyes stared deep into mine.

"Another one?" I asked, my eyes widening innocently.

"You know this will speed things up," she accused.

How badly I wanted her to be my wife - Mrs. Cullen, I thought, fighting a smile - and for everyone, some individuals in particular, to know it.

"There is only one thing I want to speed up, and the rest can wait forever... but for that, it's true, your impatient human hormones are my most powerful ally at this point."

"I can't believe I'm going along with this. When I think of Charlie... and Renée!" She exclaimed. I'd accepted Charlie's opinion of me, but it made me a little sad she didn't think Renée would approve. "Can you imagine what Angela will think? Or Jessica? Ugh. I can hear the gossip now."

I raised my eyebrow at her. What did it matter what they said? We were in love. Why would we compromise our happiness to bend to their expectations? Besides that, her human relationships would sever soon enough. She'd hardly remember her bonds with people like Angela and Jessica once she was transformed, weak as they were.

But I could see her panic was only growing. Clearly all this did matter to her and I had to admit, I wasn't really in a position to empathize. I remembered mostly my mother and only a little bit my father, but no other friends or acquaintances or the treacherous social norms humans struggled on a daily basis to navigate. My kind lived pretty unapologetically and coped with one another's strange quirks with tolerance, avoidance, or in more extreme cases, violence. But ultimately, we didn't need one another to thrive in the same way humans did so our instinct to preserve the social order wasn't as nuanced or strong.

It was very easy to forget sometimes, mature as she was, that Bella was only a few days past being a high school girl. On top of that, she was Bella. Bella who hatted attention and formality.

I could hear her heart accelerating and see her eyes were too wide. Her panic set off my own.

"It doesn't have to be a big production," I quickly assured her. "I don't need any fanfare. You won't have to tell anyone or make any changes. We'll go to Vegas - you can wear old jeans and we'll go to the chapel with the drive-through window." In truth, my most frequent fantasy - a quite innocent one - was me at the end of an aisle watching Bella in an exquisite white dress walk towards me. But as I offered up Vegas and jeans, I considered how Bella it was. How human. It had it's own romantic charm. Plus, there was only one thing that really mattered to me. "I just want it to be official - that you belong to me and no one else."

I worried she might take issue with the intensity that had leaked into my voice, but she just rolled her eyes.

It seemed I'd proposed exactly the right solution, the signs of her panic easing. So what if Alice decided to wreck my car? It was a small price to pay to not scare Bella off. I did feel slightly guilty knowing that Alice had arranged this night, probably knowing exactly what I would gain... and what she thought she'd gain... A problem for tomorrow, I decided.

"It couldn't be any more official than it already is," Bella grumbled. But I disagreed. I was sure Jacob Black would as well.

"We'll see about that." I smiled complacently, imagining the dog's face when he saw the ring on her finger. Which reminded me... "I suppose you don't want your ring now?"

I braced myself as she nervously swallowed. "You suppose correctly," she said, her voice high.

I laughed at the uncalled for terror in her eyes.

"That's fine. I'll get it on your finger soon enough," I said arrogantly. Maybe another indulgence. Another persuasive kiss. My shirt was already unbottoned, so I could just let her take it all the way off...

She glared at me. "You talk like you already have one."

"I do," I said, unashamed. "Ready to force upon you at the first sign of weakness."

"You're unbelievable," she said.

"Do you want to see it?" I asked impulsively, anxious to see whether she liked it.

"No!" She nearly shouted. Her rejection stung after a night of yes's, but I really should have known better. Again, without wanting to, I was thinking about Jacob Black and the brilliance of his 'boiling frog' strategy.

Her expression changed from one of terror to one of pity. "Unless you really want to show it to me," she amended grudgingly, gritting her teeth together.

"That's alright." I shrugged. "It can wait." I didn't want her to accept my gift because she felt sorry for me. It was much too important for that. I'd work her up to it on another day. Maybe get her in a good mood and just slip it on her finger before she could realize what I was doing. It was quite beautiful and I could only hope it would make her pause long enough to not reject me again.

She sighed. "Show me the damn ring, Edward."

I shook my head. "No." I wasn't going to let her ruin this for me. Another day, I thought wistfully.

She watched me closely for a long minute. I wondered what she was thinking.

"Please?" She asked quietly. "Please can I see it?" Her bottom lip stuck out just a little in a pout and her eyes were round as they stared into mine.

My eyes narrowed. She knew exactly what she was doing and that didn't make it any less compelling. In fact, it was worse. There was something about it, her desire to dominate me... I liked it. I suddenly felt inclined to do much more than just show her the ring.

"You are the most dangerous creature I've ever met," I muttered. She looked smug.

I slid off the bed and knelt in front of the small bedside table. The silk box was in the drawer right where I'd left it.

I was back on the bed with her in an instant, sitting beside her with one arm around her shoulder. I balanced the little box on her left knee.

"Go ahead and look, then," I said brusquely. She'd asked for it. She'd have to be brave enough to open the box herself.

She stared at the box for a moment before swallowing dramatically. When she finally extended her hand out I could see she was shaking. She could be so ridiculous.

She continued to delay, running her fingers across the top of the box once she picked it up. I thought I was going to lose my mind - the anticipation was too great.

"You didn't spend a lot of money, did you? Lie to me, if you did."

"I didn't spend anything," I assured her. "It's just another hand-me-down. This is the ring my father gave to my mother."

"Oh." She seemed pleasantly surprised. I supposed I should have led with that, but jumped on it now as she continued to hesitate, pinching the lid between her thumb and forefinger without opening it.

"I suppose it's a little outdated," I said, my tone playfully apologetic. "Old-fashioned just like me." Just like her wretched truck. "I can get you something more modern. Something from Tiffany's?" I asked, trying to paint this ring as the safe option.

"I like old-fashioned things," she said defensively. And finally she opened the lid.

I watched her intently as her eyes moved over the yellow gold ring.

My mouth almost fell open as I watched her appreciatively stroke the slanting rows of round diamonds set across the ring's oval face. So, maybe she did have a preference for diamonds, I thought hopefully, considering what excuses I'd have in the future to buy her more. Anniversaries, I thought. It felt unreal enough that I'd get to marry her - I hadn't even gotten around to considering all the joyful milestones we'd go on to celebrate after that.

"It's so pretty," she murmured to herself, surprised. Pretty was good, though she'd said the diamond charm was beautiful.

"Do you like it?" I asked, a little too eagerly.

"It's beautiful," She said reverently. But then she quickly shrugged, feigning a lack of interest. "What's not to like?"

I chuckled.

"See if it fits," I said, itching to see it in its rightful place.

Her left hand clenched into a fist.

"Bella," I sighed. "I'm not going to solder it to your finger. Just try it on so I can see if it needs to be sized. then you can take it right off."

"Fine," she grumbled, accepting my practical excuse.

She reached for the ring, but I beat her to it. I had the strong conviction that this was my role to play.

I took her left hand in mine and slid the ring into place on her finger. I held her hand out and we both examined it. Even in the low light, the diamonds cast sparkles onto her skin.

I felt a fierce sense of rightness. Like everything in my much too long life had been leading up to this moment. There was a slight stinging in my eyes and knew, if it were possible, I'd be fighting back tears.

I could only imagine what Bella would have thought of that.

"A perfect fit," I said indifferently, trying to keep up the ruse. "That's nice - saves me a trip to the jeweler's."

She stared up at me suspiciously.

"You like that, don't you?" She asked, fluttering her fingers.

"Sure, it looks very nice on you," I said with a shrug.

She stared into my eyes and I stared back. This beautiful girl - this beautiful woman - she was mine to keep. Though I didn't deserve her. Though I'd come too close to losing her more times than I'd thought I could bear. Though I was fundamentally wrong for her... She'd chosen me. Over all the others she'd chosen me. She wore my ring.

Bella Swan was mine. Forever. And I was hers.

I could see my face reflected in her eyes, glowing with joy and victory. She looked dazzled.

I pressed my lips to hers unable to resist kissing my beautiful fiancé. My beautiful bride. For once both of our defenses were down. Just as I had wished for this night, we forgot everything else in the world aside from just us two.

"Yes, I like it," I whispered into her ear, my breathing ragged. "You have no idea."

She laughed, gasping a little. "I believe you."

I had gained everything tonight, but I was greedy enough to want just one more thing.

"Do you mind if I do something?" I murmured, tightening my arms around her.

"Anything you want," she sighed. Yet another wave of butterflies hit me, understanding her words were both permission and an invitation for something that would have to wait until the honeymoon.

I let her go and slid towards the edge of the bed.

"Anything but that," she complained.

I ignored her objection, taking her hand and pulling her off the bed, too. I stood in front of her, hands on her shoulders.

I made my face stern. "Now, I want to do this right. Please, please, keep in mind that you've already agreed to this, and don't ruin it for me."

I slid down on one knee.

"Oh, no," she gasped.

"Be nice," I muttered.

I suddenly felt very nervous, as if her previous acceptance, in all of its informality, had still left room for escape. I took a deep breath.

"Isabella Swan?" I looked up at her, searching the depths of her eyes. "I promise to love you forever - every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"

She hesitated for the longest second of my life.

"Yes," she whispered.

"Thank you," I said. I took her left hand and kissed each of her fingertips before I kissed the ring that was now hers.

Already my goddess, she would be my wife.


A/N: Yay! So happy to finally get this one out to you guys. I got so into it I started writing a snippet of an Isle Esme chapter. No fade to black in our dear Edward's Breaking Dawn... but that's for a later date. Up next, more Eclipse.

Let me know your thoughts in the reviews! :)